High Priestess

by Wendy Hewlett

  “Yeah, sure.” Jaxon glared at her then, as if she would get drunk while she was carrying their child. “Why don’t you and Mick head in. I need to talk to Jaxon for a moment.”

  Still grinning, Riley hefted up her case of beer while Mick unlocked the door and the two of them disappeared inside. Raven stared at Jaxon and waited. His face was red and a thick, ropey vein in his neck pulsed.

  “You’re going to have to tell her at some point, you know?”

  “I haven’t even been to the doctor yet, Jax. Until she confirms I’m pregnant, I’m not doing anything.”

  He took a step towards her and she took one step back. “So what? You’re going to go in there and party because you haven’t confirmed it with your doctor? Seriously, Rave?”

  “I didn’t say I was going to party.” Damn him. He didn’t have the right to judge her or to preach to her.

  Jaxon scrubbed his head with his palms. “You’re tearing me up inside, Rave.” His voice cracked and his palms slid down to cover his eyes. “God, I love you so much and knowing you’ll never feel the same is tearing me apart. I want our baby. I want us to raise it together. I want …”

  She knew what he wanted – a life together; to be a family. “I’m sorry, Jax. I don’t know what to say.” She never should have slept with him that night. She’d screwed up both their lives.

  No, you haven’t. It was fate, my darling. You were meant to have his daughter.

  Raven had never planned on being a mother. She didn’t know the first thing about raising a child and, God help her, she didn’t want to be responsible for messing up the kid the way she had been.

  You’ll be a much better mother than I ever was. I made so many mistakes, have so many regrets. If I could turn back time, Rave … If I could just turn back time.

  While Raven was preoccupied with her mother’s voice in her head, she didn’t notice Jaxon stepping up to her. His hands cupped her cheeks and he tilted her head up until her pale blue eyes met his.

  “There’s no hope is there? You wouldn’t marry me for the sake of our baby?”

  “God, Jax.” Tears welled in her eyes and her entire body tensed as she tried to force them back. “We’d just end up resenting each other, hating each other. How would that help our child?”

  “Your child?”

  Both Raven’s and Jaxon’s heads whipped around to find Riley standing in the doorway, a look of utter shock on her face. Jaxon dropped his hands to his sides and stepped back from Raven. She felt like he was abandoning her to face a firing squad on her own.

  “Riley,” Raven breathed.

  “You’re pregnant?” Riley stepped out and closed the door behind her. Her light green eyes wide and her pale skin nearly translucent. “You’re having Jaxon’s baby?”

  The tension in Raven’s body racked up another notch. “I haven’t been to the doctor yet.”

  Riley looked back and forth between Raven and Jaxon until Jaxon finally spoke with his head hung low. “She took a home pregnancy test. It was positive.”

  Raven could only stare at Riley and watch the emotions play across her beautiful face. Her eyes glistened and a fat tear spilled out and rolled down her cheek. Then she walked towards the porch steps. Raven reached out to her, but Riley pulled her arm away.

  “Don’t. Just … don’t.” Riley raced down the steps and got into her car. Gravel spit out behind her vehicle as she tore off down the road.

  Raven watched until Riley’s taillights disappeared over a hill. She had to force herself to breathe when her heart and lungs wanted nothing more than to surrender. She figured she knew how Jaxon felt.

  “Go home, Jax.” The lack of emotion in her voice surprised her, although it shouldn’t have. It matched the way she felt – dead, devoid of life.

  Jaxon walked down the steps to his truck as if his body weighed a ton. He didn’t say a word or lift his head. He just got in his truck and drove away.

  “How could you say I will be a good mother when I hurt everyone around me?” She asked, but she got no response from Ena. Typical, she thought. Never there when she actually needed her.

  I’m here, darling angel. I know you would never let harm come to your daughter. You would never make the mistakes I did. I’m ashamed of what I let happen to you. You would never do that to your daughter.

  For the first time in a very long time, Raven wished her mother was there to wrap her arms around her and tell her everything would turn out okay. She couldn’t stop the flood of tears from ripping out of her. She dropped to the ground, brought her knees in tight to her chest, lowered her head, and sobbed. When arms wrapped around her and drew her in to a warm body, she was surprised that it was Mick and not her mother.

  “It will all work out,” Mick whispered, rocking Raven back and forth. Raven turned her head into the curve of Mick’s neck and let it all out, tears wrenching from her very soul. Of course, Mick knew everything. Damn her.

  * * *

  Raven paced the exam room as she waited for Dr. Wagnar to come back with the results from her urine sample. Stupid to be anxious when she already knew what the answer would be. The first thing she’d done when she woke up that morning was race to the bathroom and toss her cookies. She stopped pacing and slid her palm across her lower belly. “What am I going to do about you?” she whispered.

  Love her.

  Ha. She already did. Crazy. It was probably the size of a pea, if that.

  The door to the exam room opened and Raven dropped her hand to her side as Simone closed the door behind her. She sat at the small desk in front of a computer and waved to the seat beside the desk.

  “Have a seat, Raven.”

  Raven took a deep breath and dropped into the chair.

  Simone smiled, her deep brown eyes sparkling. “You are indeed pregnant, Raven. Congratulations.”

  Raven dropped her face into her hands. Now she couldn’t ignore it, couldn’t pretend it wasn’t true.

  “You’re not happy about your pregnancy?” Simone asked.

  With her face still buried in her hands, Raven admitted, “I cheated on my girlfriend with a man. I ruined my relationship, hurt a man who loves me. Is this the Goddess’s way of punishing me?”

  “Do you want to keep the baby, Raven?” Simone asked in a soft voice.

  There was no way she could even consider an abortion. She thought about it as she laid in bed last night, but only for a second before she decided that wasn’t an option. Could she give it up for adoption? No, she already loved it too much.

  “Yes, I want to keep her.” She couldn’t do anything but.

  “I’m referring you for an ultrasound. The hospital will call you with an appointment.”

  Raven popped her head up. “The hospital? Is there somewhere else I can go?”

  “I suppose. If you want to go down to Orillia, we could arrange that. Are you worried Riley will find out?”

  She should have known Simone knew about her relationship with Riley. It wasn’t exactly a secret in their small town.

  “She already knows. I just don’t want to hurt her any more than I already have.”

  “You probably wouldn’t even see her. The imaging department is on the other side of the hospital from the ER.” Simone took Raven’s hand and gave it a little squeeze. “It’s much more convenient than driving an hour down to Orillia every time you need an ultrasound.”

  The way her luck was going, Riley would happen to be in the imaging department at the exact time Raven came in. But, it wasn’t like Riley wasn’t going to see her around town with a big, fat belly.

  “Fine. I’ll go to the hospital here.”

  On the way to the car, Mick shuffled along beside Raven trying to keep up to her long strides.

  “Are you up for stopping by Adara’s place?” Raven asked. “I’d like to see if you can pick anything up from her?”

  Mick’s eyes widened. “Oh. You mean you want me to read her?”

  “Yeah,” Raven nodded. “Can you do it?” />
  Mick screwed up her nose. “I can try, I guess.”

  You can do it yourself, Rave. You’ve been blocking it for years. Just open yourself up to your gift and you’ll be able to read Adara yourself.

  Raven had no idea how to remove the block. She didn’t even know how she blocked her psychic ability all those years ago.

  As soon as they sat in the car, Raven’s cell phone rang.

  “Bowen.”

  “Hey, Rave,” LaCroix said. “Adara Kirby’s financial records are in. She owns her house outright and has for over twenty years. No mortgage and she’s got a small amount in her savings account. She’s on a disability, but as far as I can tell that’s the only income going into her account every month. She doesn’t use it all since she doesn’t have to worry about a mortgage payment. She puts nearly a quarter of it into her savings every month. It looks like she’s very careful with her money.”

  “Well, so much for that theory,” Raven said. “The only motive I can figure is the HPS angle. It’s not enough for her to commit murder over.”

  “I don’t know, Rave. Maybe we’re missing something. If Gregor Paigo is somehow involved, maybe it’s a revenge thing.”

  “Yeah, maybe. I’ll keep looking.” If Paigo was involved, was he in cahoots with Adara? Had he convinced Adara to seek revenge for what she perceived as years of being second fiddle to Ena?

  When she ended the call, Mick said, “When you think about what was written on the card that came with the flowers Ena received, it kind of fits. I mean, if Adara felt like she was living in Ena’s shadow all these years, getting rid of her means she can come out into the light.”

  Raven pulled up the picture of the card on her cell phone and read the rhyme again.

  Even with a sun so bright,

  Shadows are cast,

  And some never see the light.

  The time has come at last,

  To step out of the dark,

  Let go of the past.

  Mick was right. It fit.

  “When we get to Adara’s, see if you can pick anything up. Has she been jealous of Ena all these years and finally lost it?”

  “I’m thinking yes,” Mick answered. “I imagine thirty years in someone’s shadow is enough to put you over the top. Ena had everything – money, a hot husband, a lead role in the coven. What did Adara have except chronic pain?”

  “Me. She had me, damn it. But, by the sounds of it, Ena was nagging her daily to try to get me back. Adara didn’t want to lose me and it sure looks like she sabotaged any chance Ena and I had at a reconciliation.”

  “Maybe that’s part of the motive,” Mick said. “Maybe she was worried Ena figured out what she’d done over the years to keep the two of you apart.”

  “Maybe,” Raven said, but she was distracted now, thinking about her psychic ability. As she drove, she tried to reach out to Mick in her mind and got nothing. How had she done it as a child? As far as she could remember, it had just come to her. She drew in a deep breath then exhaled slowly, trying to relax, to rid herself of the tension in her neck and shoulders. After several deep breaths, she felt calmer, more grounded.

  She tried to reach out to Mick again and felt her shock. Then Mick started laughing. Slowly at first and then a full out belly laugh.

  “What?” Raven asked, slightly offended. She watched Mick, doubled over laughing, and couldn’t help the giggle that sprung from her own throat. Eyes back on the road, she worked hard at suppressing her own laughter. “What?” she snorted. “What’s so funny?” Then Raven was laughing so hard she had to pull over to the side of the road. She had no idea why she was laughing except Mick was laughing so hard it made it impossible for her not to. “What the hell is so damn funny?” Raven shouted and Mick finally began to ratchet back her laughter and started to cry.

  “Oh, Jesus. Now what?”

  “Sorry.” Mick sniffled. “You caught me off guard. Maybe you should warn me before you try something like that.”

  “What?” Raven shouted. “What the hell did I do?”

  Mick swiped her hand over her cheeks and turned to stare out the window. “You got into my head. No one’s ever done that before.”

  It was more than that, Raven thought. Her reaction was too extreme.

  “It’s not like I got anything, except your surprise and shock at me doing it.” She wondered if Mick’s reaction had anything to do with why she appeared so sad over the past day or so. Was she hiding something? Something to do with Ena’s case?

  Mick turned her head and met Raven’s eyes and she looked like she was going to start crying again. “No, nothing to do with the case.”

  “Really? You can get into my head so easily and you get all weird when I do it to you?”

  “I don’t consciously try to get into your head, like you just did to me. I just hear your thoughts sometimes. They’re so damn loud it’s hard not to hear them.”

  So, was she doing it wrong? Should she just be trying to listen instead of breaking into someone’s mind? Raven took a deep breath and closed her eyes, listening. What she heard was Mick chanting, Don’t read my thoughts, don’t read my thoughts.

  Raven narrowed her eyes at Mick. “What are you hiding?”

  A big, fat tear dribbled down Mick’s cheek and she quickly swiped it away. “Nothing. It’s private. It’s personal.”

  “Okay. Fair enough.” She didn’t want to invade Mick’s personal business. If it had to do with the case, she’d probe, but not if it was Mick’s personal stuff. She eased the car back onto the road and headed for Adara’s. At least she was a little more confident in trying to listen to Adara’s thoughts.

  “If you want to get your gift back, Rave, go back to your roots. You probably had more Wicca and witchcraft training by the time you were seven than most Wiccans get in their lifetime.”

  True that, Raven thought. But, she’d also been blocking all of that for the past fifteen years or more. She knew where to start though – meditation and grounding. Back to the basics.

  When Raven pulled into Adara’s driveway, Mick asked, “What’s the game plan?”

  It was a bright, sunny Saturday morning. Raven could think of better things to be doing, like sitting on her deck and enjoying the sun reflecting off Fairy Lake. “I don’t know. Let’s just make it a friendly visit and see if we can pick anything up.”

  They went around to the kitchen door and Raven tapped lightly on the door before she opened it. Adara was at the kitchen island with her massive Book of Shadows open in front of her. She closed it and pushed it aside as she looked up.

  “Rave, I’ve been trying to call you. Your phone is out of service.”

  “Yeah, sorry about that. I had to get a new number.” She’d forgotten all about the new cell number and not giving it to Adara. “I’ll give it to you before I leave.”

  Adara came around the island, wringing her hands. “Are you okay? I know you’ve been through a lot and I was worried when I couldn’t contact you. I came over to your cottage this morning, but you weren’t there.”

  “Yeah, yeah, I’m fine. Have you met Mick? PC McHaela Warren? She’s been working the Paigo case with me.”

  Mick stepped forward and extended her hand to Adara. Adara took it in both of hers and held it there.

  “Yes, we know each other, Rave. McHaela’s mother is a member of the coven.”

  Mick smiled. “How are you Ms. Kirby?”

  “Oh, fine, fine. But, please, call me Adara. I feel old enough without being addressed as Ms. Kirby.” She patted Mick’s hands and released them then turned to Raven. “Where’s my hug, sweetie?”

  Raven bent over to hug Adara and the whole time she was wondering if this sweet woman who had cared for her and loved her was really capable of murdering her mother. When she straightened, Adara took her hands.

  “You seem tense, Rave. Is everything okay?”

  “Yeah. We just thought we’d stop by and say hello.”

  “Are you working today then? Will you
stay for lunch?”

  “We’re still working on the Paigo case.” Raven took out her cell phone to check the time. “We probably have time for a bite though. What are you making?”

  Adara beamed up at her. “Your favourite. How would that be?”

  “Yeah, that sounds perfect.” She’d felt so sick when she got up that she hadn’t had any breakfast. Now, she was starving and there was no sign of the nausea now.

  “Grilled cheese and tomato soup it is then. Is that okay with you, McHaela?”

  “Mick, please. Yes, that sounds great.” She whispered to Raven, “Was that your favourite when you were twelve?”

  “Still is my favourite. What’s wrong with grilled cheese and tomato soup?” Raven arched a brow at Mick and Mick laughed.

  They took a seat at the kitchen island and Adara rushed over, scooped up her Book of Shadows. “Let me just get this out of your way.” She shuffled down the hall into her office.

  Adara never had a problem leaving her Book of Shadows open on the kitchen island, but when Raven thought back over the past few weeks she realized every time she came into Adara’s kitchen she would close the book. And now she was rushing off with it. Raven wanted a look inside that book. She closed her eyes, focused on her breathing and tried to listen, but got nothing. Adara closed the door on the office when she emerged into the hallway, shuffled back into the kitchen, and began preparing their lunch.

  “So, tell me, why are you still working on the Paigo case? I thought that was all wrapped up.”

  Raven had never spoken to Adara about what Gregor Paigo had done to her. Did she know? She had to have heard the allegations on the news about when Gregor lived with Ena, but had she known before that?

  “We’re investigating whether or not there were more young girls he sexually assaulted.” She watched Adara closely for her response. She turned from buttering bread to look at Raven, her eyes watery.