High Priestess

by Wendy Hewlett

  “Because I need to understand what happened so I can move on. I need closure, Rave. I need to know if I made a horrible mistake so that I won’t repeat it.”

  Just as quickly as that brief flash of hope warmed Raven’s heart, Riley’s declaration chilled her to the bone. She shivered and turned back to the window, hugging the warm coffee cup to her chest. She couldn’t tell Riley the truth and risk her telling Jax because she was hurt and bitter. But, maybe if Riley figured it out for herself and had time to process it, she’d come back to Raven.

  “I know how much I’ve hurt you, Ri. I know what it feels like to be betrayed by the one person you think you can trust. All these years, I thought Adara had my back, but the truth of it was she did everything she could to keep Ena and I from reconciling because she needed to keep me close so she could steal my powers. And she used those powers to kill my mother. She used my own powers to put me in the path of Jax’s truck, to nearly send me off the cliff at Ena’s.” Raven tried to hold back the tears, but they spilled out over her ebony lashes and dribbled down her cheeks. She turned and faced Riley again. “She used my own powers to make sure no one took me away from her, that no one came between us.”

  “I don’t understand. What does that have to do with you sleeping with Jax?”

  Raven’s delicate nose flared and a deep line formed between her brows. Maybe on the drive back to Toronto, Riley would figure it out. She didn’t know what else to say to get her thinking about it, so she rambled on. “She put a spell on the hospital staff so that you would let Ena lie there and die. She couldn’t have done that if I hadn’t allowed her to steal my powers. Don’t you see? I’m responsible for Ena’s death. I killed my mother by blocking my powers.”

  “Oh, Rave. You can’t blame yourself for that.”

  Riley took a step forward and Raven flinched back. She couldn’t stand for Riley to touch her right now. “You’re better off without me, no matter the reason for my betrayal.”

  Raven turned back to the window and blew into her coffee. She could barely see the lake now through the thick curtain of rain. Riley’s drive back down to Toronto was going to be a bitch if this didn’t let up.

  “So, that’s it then? You’re not going to tell me why you slept with him?

  Raven squeezed her eyes closed and leaned her forehead against the cool glass. “There’s nothing to tell, Ri. I don’t know what you want me to say.”

  Riley’s heavy footsteps echoed down the hallway, the front door opened then slammed closed. The pressure in Raven’s chest was almost too much to bear. Everything in her screamed for her to run after Riley and tell her the truth, to beg her forgiveness. But, Riley deserved better. She let her go.

  EPILOGUE

  DECEMBER 21ST

  A light dusting of snow covered the clearing in the woods. Raven stood at the altar wearing the long black wool cloak Kiran bought for her in Scotland when he took her to meet his family. Her family. Aunts, uncles, grandparents. Cousins by the dozens. She wished Ena could have been there with them as Kiran’s family shared their stories of the times they spent with Ena.

  She sighed heavily as she replaced the items from the alter into a wicker basket.

  “Alright, love?” Kiran asked as he slipped his arm around Raven’s waist.

  The edge of her mouth curled up as she glanced at Kiran and then looked up to the light blue winter sky. “It’s times like this I wish she was with us.” Kiran and Simone were grooming her to take over as High Priestess of the Solstice Coven. She hadn’t wanted it at first, but that trip to Scotland with Kiran, getting to know his magical family, fired up her desire to return to her Wiccan beginnings. His entire family were witches. Some of them extremely powerful. Her psychic abilities came from her paternal grandmother, Ruari Hayes. In the two weeks she spent in Scotland, she learned more from Ruari about her psychic powers than she learned in her lifetime.

  “Aye,” Kiran said, so softly Raven barely heard him. His eyes moved up, scanning the sky as if he’d find Ena there.

  Raven slipped her hand into Kiran’s and gave it a squeeze.

  * * *

  The sun was setting over Fairly Lake as Raven stepped out onto her deck, breathing in the crisp air. She thought for sure she would have this baby today, on the winter solstice, but so far her daughter was being stubborn. As much as the baby inside of her filled her with love, Raven still felt two great, gaping holes inside of her. One left by Ena. What she wouldn’t give to have her mother’s voice in her head again. She laughed at herself because eight months ago she was willing to do anything to rid herself of that voice.

  The other hole, the one that still tore her apart if she thought about it too much, was the one left by Riley. It still stole her breath away to think of her. She spent weeks hoping Riley would figure out Adara cast a spell, forcing her to sleep with Jax. But, in the seven months since her departure from Solstice, Raven hadn’t heard from Riley. Seven months and she still thought of her every day, still reached for her in the night.

  “Stop it,” she told herself. Riley was gone and there was nothing she could do about it.

  A flash of headlights in the driveway pulled Raven out of her reverie. It wasn’t Jaxon. She would have heard his truck from a mile away. That left either Mick or Kiran, coming to check on her. She made her way towards the side of the house and stopped dead in her tracks as Riley stepped out of her little SUV, her breaths shooting out in little white puffs on the cold evening air. She stood in a steel blue down coat and skinny jeans, looking at the cottage for a moment before tucking that glorious red hair behind her ear, closing the car door, and starting towards the front porch.

  “Hey,” Raven said, finally finding her voice.

  Riley stopped when her eyes found Raven at the side of the cottage at the deck railing. “Hey. It’s a bit cold to be out here without a coat.”

  Raven had to smile. Still the nurturer, looking out for everyone’s well-being. “I’ve only been out for a few minutes.” She placed her palm at the base of her spine, rubbing absently. The sight of Riley standing there was too good to be true and she wondered if she was dreaming.

  “Well, it’s too bloody cold for me, even with a coat on. Are you going to invite me in?”

  Nervous fingers found their way through Raven’s thick black hair, leaving it sticking up on end. “Yeah, sure.” She waved towards the sliding glass door on the deck.

  Riley climbed the steps to join Raven and eyed the back of the cottage. “You’ve put an addition on.”

  The deck itself now spanned the entire back side of the house, but Riley was referring to the wing Raven added to the cottage over the summer to give her a sun room, office space, and a baby’s room. She followed Riley into the cottage and took her coat as Riley went to stand in front of the fire in the living room.

  “Can I get you something to drink?”

  Riley turned, placing her back to the fire. “Coffee would be nice.”

  A little black kitten pounced across the carpet from Raven’s room then chased her tail, running in a mad circle. Raven laughed.

  “Oh, my God.” Riley bent to pick the kitten up. She held it out in front of her to check it’s gender then hugged it to her chest. The kitten rubbed its forehead against her neck and she giggled. Such a beautiful sound. Relaxed and laughing and … happy. Riley was happy. A sharp pain sliced through Raven’s chest at the thought of Riley being happy because she was in a new relationship.

  “Let me guess,” Riley said as she snuggled with the kitten. “You named her Luna.”

  Raven smiled. Not an easy task when her heart was weeping. “No, that’s too cliché. Guess again.” She rubbed her lower back again. So many aches and pains. She wished her daughter would come already.

  “Really? I was sure you would have named her Luna.” She grinned, her pale green eyes flashing in the firelight. “I don’t have any other guesses, Rave. What’s her name?”

  “She’s Jet.”

  “I love it.” Riley g
iggled, nuzzling her nose into the cat’s fur. “Raven and Jet. You both have jet black hair.”

  “It was more because she darts around here at the speed of light.”

  Raven left Riley to play with the kitten and went into the kitchen and put a pot of coffee on. She felt awkward and nervous having Riley here which was so not like her. She couldn’t let herself get her hopes up. The fall afterwards was too freakin’ painful.

  “So, you look like you’re going to have that baby any day now.”

  Raven startled. She didn’t hear Riley come into the kitchen, but she was directly behind her, bent over the island leaning on her elbows. With one hand still massaging her lower back and the other one circling her huge belly, Raven said, “Yeah, any day now.” Glancing at the clock on the oven, she gave her daughter another seven hours. She could still be born on the solstice.

  “You’re back’s sore.” Riley straightened. “Why don’t you go put your feet up and I’ll make the coffee.”

  Raven dropped her hand from her back to her side. “I’m pretty sure I can handle making coffee.” She waddled over to get a couple of mugs from the cupboard and set them in front of the still brewing pot.

  Riley ran a finger down the leather bound Book of Shadows sitting on the island. “You’re practicing witchcraft again?”

  “Yeah.”

  “I had dinner with Mick and Jaxon a few nights ago.”

  “Yeah, I heard.” Mick hadn’t been able to wait to tell Raven all about it.

  “They seem to be very happy.”

  “Yeah.” Raven heard Riley’s exasperated sigh as she poured coffee into the mugs. Her lower back was aching like a bitch and she didn’t have the patience for small talk.

  “I know why you slept with Jax, Rave.”

  Raven turned to face Riley. What was she doing here, rubbing salt in old wounds? “Is that so?”

  Riley blew out a breath and her shoulders seemed to deflate. “Look, I’m not saying this very well. Just bear with me, will you?” When Raven only stared at her, Riley continued, “I thought moving down to Toronto would make it easier to get over …” She waved her hand between Raven and herself. “Us. You. I thought distance and time would be enough to allow me to move on.”

  “So, what? You came back here to ask me why again because you think that’s what you need.” Blessed Goddess, please don’t put me through this again.

  “Mick told me you haven’t been with anyone since we broke up. And I don’t get it. You’re the type of person who needs a lot of sex. I was working a lot of shifts and when I was home I was too tired. So, in a way, it’s my fault you slept with Jax.”

  “It wasn’t your fault.” Raven shook her head. It wasn’t like she hadn’t had the opportunity to date since Riley left, but she just wasn’t interested in anyone other than Riley. Her belly tightened and her lower back spasmed, so she turned around, giving her back to Riley to hide her grimace. She rode the wave of pain then picked up Riley’s mug and passed it over the island to her.

  “You came all the way up here because you’re worried I’m not getting enough sex?”

  A nervous laugh escaped Riley’s lips and her hand flew up to cover her mouth. “Sorry. That’s not a sentence I ever expected you to say.”

  “Riley,” Raven began, then braced her hands on the marble counter as her belly constricted again and she felt like her lower back was breaking. She concentrated on breathing in and out then stared down at the pool gathering at her feet as her water broke. Oh, shit.

  “I miss you, Rave. That’s why I came.”

  “Riley,” Raven huffed. It suddenly occurred to her that the back pain she been having on and off since the night before was back labour. Her daughter was coming on the solstice, which both excited and terrified her.

  “I haven’t been able to stop thinking about you. I love you, Rave. I still love you. And I wondered if you haven’t been with anyone because you still love me, too.”

  “Riley?”

  “What?”

  “I’m having a baby.”

  “I know.”

  “Now. I’m having a baby, now.”

  Riley looked startled for a moment then whipped into action. She got Raven into bed and checked to see how dilated she was and was shocked to find the baby’s head crowning. “You don’t have time to go to the hospital, Rave. We’re going to deliver this baby right here.”

  “Call Jax and Kiran,” Raven panted as Riley scurried around gathering supplies. She could hear Riley on the phone as she opened and closed drawers in the kitchen. What the heck would she be looking for in there?

  Her belly tightened again and she grimaced in pain, trying to breath through it. She wanted to push. Her baby girl was right there. All she had to do was push and she’d be holding her daughter. She became so overwhelmed with that thought she forgot all about pushing. Was she ready for this? She was prepared. She had everything the baby would need. But was she ready? Would she be a good mother?

  The next contraction had her crying out loud. She panted through it, then yelled, “Riiiiley!”

  Riley ran into the room, panting herself, with her arms full of towels, wash cloths, bowls, and Goddess knew what else. Raven was sure she caught sight of a turkey baster in there somewhere.

  “Everyone’s on the way.” She dumped everything on the end of the bed and checked Raven again. “Okay.” She swiped some hair from her face with her forearm. “Shit, Rave. This baby is coming.”

  Riley ran into the bathroom and Raven stared after her in disbelief. “Where the hell are you going?” If Riley answered, Raven didn’t hear it. She doubled over with another contraction and screamed bloody murder.

  Riley was at the end of the bed again and Raven wasn’t even sure when she came back. If she was at the damn hospital she could have asked for drugs.

  “On the next contraction, I want you to push.”

  “What?” Raven tried to sit up. She was sweating like crazy, her whole body covered in a slippery sheen. No, she wasn’t ready for this. Who was she to think she could care for a tiny little life? The kitten meowed from the floor just then. You’re different, Raven thought. You’re so much easier to care for than a baby. The kitten pounced off into the living room, seemingly happy with her answer.

  “I can’t have the baby yet. Jax wanted to be here.” She bent forward in pain again and the urge to push was tremendous. Whether she was ready or not, her daughter certainly was.

  Kiran stepped into the room just as Raven let out a growl and bore down.

  “That’s it, Rave,” Riley cheered.

  Raven flopped back into the pillows. It just began and already she was exhausted. She didn’t know what Riley was doing between her legs and she didn’t want to.

  Kiran stood at the head of the bed and took Raven’s hand. “What would you like me to do, love?”

  “Get me some drugs,” Raven panted. “Good ones. Try the main street in town. You should be able to get something there. Heroin maybe. That would be good.”

  Kiran laughed nervously. “Could you have a wee nip? Would that help?”

  “No alcohol,” Riley said from the bottom of the bed. “Sorry. No heroin either.”

  “Oh, fuck,” Raven spurted as another contraction began. She squeezed down on Kiran’s hand and he let out a yelp.

  “Push,” Riley commanded.

  Raven sat forward and let out another rip roaring growl. Kiran slid in behind her, supporting her back as she pushed. Goddess, bless him. What other father would jump in and help out in a situation like this? Raven collapsed back into him and saw Riley grab the turkey baster. What the hell? There was a sucking noise - once, then again, and then the most beautiful little wail filled the air. She started laughing as tears streamed down her face. That was her baby girl crying. Oh, blessed be. She knew what true joy felt like in that moment. Her heart swelled with it.

  Mick and Jax got jambed in the doorway with both of them trying to rush in at the same time.

  “Am I
too late?” Jax asked.

  “No, no, come here,” Riley said. “One more push, Rave.”

  Shit, she thought she was done. She didn’t know if she had the energy for one more. Then the contraction was upon her and she bore down. Riley, Jax, and Mick let out a whooping cheer in unison. Riley tied off the umbilical cord and let Jax cut it. He was a trooper. He didn’t even hesitate.

  Riley held Raven’s daughter, wrapping her in a receiving blanket. She brought her to Raven and placed her gently in her arms. Raven could barely see through her tears. The baby stopped crying and squirmed in her arms. She had a cap of dark hair and all of her fingers and toes. Tiny, but perfect.

  “She’s beautiful.”

  “Yep,” Riley said. “Jax is going to clean her up and then you can feed her.”

  “I am?” Jax paled, his eyes wide as he stared at the tiny baby in Raven’s arms.

  Mick tucked her arm around his and leaned into him. “I’ll help you.”

  Feed her? Life as Raven knew it was over. A whole new set of responsibilities had just been born. And Raven was okay with it. “Welcome to the world, Indigo Amaris Ruari Bowen. Blessed be,” she grinned.

  “Blessed be,” Kiran repeated. “Ah, your mum would love that, Rave.” Kiran leaned over and kissed her cheek and then, to the rest of the room, said, “Ena’s middle name was Amaris, aye? And Ruari is my mum’s name.”

  “It’s beautiful,” Riley said.

  “Yeah, beautiful, just like her,” Jax said, leaning over the bundle in Raven’s arms. “God, Rave, she’s your mini-me.”

  The room filled with laughter.

  Raven grinned up at him. He’d been okay with her naming their daughter Bowen, knowing the family tradition and she loved him for that. “I’m sure there’s a lot of you in there too, Daddy.”

  Jax’s breath caught and a tear dribbled down his cheek. Her daughter was a very lucky girl. Raven would make sure she knew her daddy well.