In To Her

by JA Huss

  Her touch is gentle, and easy, and tender.

  “But no,” she says, dragging the cream over the top of my lip. “I’ve never done this before. I have, however, shaved other things hundreds of times.” She stops, looks down at me with a serious expression, and says, “I won’t hurt you.”

  A long exhale escapes my lips. Something that might be relief on another occasion. One where I was stressed. I didn’t think I was stressed out right now. Had forgotten all about why I’m here and how this day is supposed to end. But the exhale proves otherwise.

  “Hmmm,” Yvette murmurs.

  “What?”

  “Maybe you need a cool chevron mustache?”

  I laugh out, “No.”

  “A goatee?”

  AJ laughs now too.

  “No,” I say. “Just color inside the lines, Yvette.”

  “Oh, no. Wait. I got it. Mutton chops!”

  “Yvette,” I say, starting to get a little worried.

  “I’m kidding, you oaf. One boring shave coming your way. But a chin strap is always an option.”

  I can say, for sure, that I’ve never had a sexy, naked woman sitting in my lap talking to me about beard styles. But I might like it. And AJ’s idea to do this was a good one. It is bringing us closer.

  That’s stupid, I realize. But then again—shaving another person involves a lot of trust and vulnerability. So maybe not.

  “OK, hold still,” Yvette says. “I gotta concentrate on your new gunslinger sideburns.” She winks at me as she gently drags the razor down my cheek.

  AJ laughs again. I glance over at him. Find him relaxing in the corner. One leg up, foot on the bench. The other on the floor. His cock is still semi-hard but he’s not jerking off. I guess we’re finally all satiated. “It’s all fun and jokes until she’s sitting in your lap with a razor,” I tell him.

  He rubs the ever-present stubble on his chin and grins. “She’s not touching my pride and joy.”

  Yvette points the razor at him. “Is that a challenge? Because I can rise to the occasion.”

  We all laugh a little, but it’s true.

  She can rise to an occasion. She built this life, after all. Got away from psycho Damon, started over with strangers. Gave birth among them. Then sent her baby away to have a better life. And then, when all that was over, she squared her shoulders and moved on. Started over from nothing.

  And Damon took it all away just because he could.

  What a dick he is. Why hasn’t anyone killed him yet?

  It’s a dumb question because the answer is obvious. No matter how much people dislike the guy, he’s in charge. And you can’t ever be sure who will remain loyal to save their own ass and who will stand up and fight for something better.

  So no one tries.

  I mean… I could’ve killed him plenty of times. AJ too. But we never have. Says a lot about us, I guess.

  “Besides,” AJ continues, “we bonded on the dance floor yesterday.”

  Yvette smiles, presumably at the memory of the dance, or maybe the first fuck that came after. But she doesn’t say anything. Just concentrates on my shave. Gently dragging the razor across my jaw, then tapping it into the bowl of water, and every few strokes placing her warm palm against my cheek to check for smoothness.

  “Tell me something,” she says.

  “Tell you what?” AJ asks.

  “I dunno. Something about you guys. If we’re going to run away together I should know you a little better.”

  Are we going to run away together? Did we actually come to this conclusion?

  “OK,” AJ says. “What do you want to know?”

  “Have you always loved each other?”

  I can’t stop the laugh.

  “What’s so funny?” she asks.

  “I mean… love?” I laugh again.

  She stops working and looks down at me. “You don’t love him?”

  I glance over at AJ, looking for help. But he just shrugs. “Well… sure, I guess.”

  “You kiss him,” she says.

  “Yeah. I kiss lots of people.”

  “So AJ’s just a one-night stand? No different than some random girl you pick up in a bar?”

  And now I don’t know if she’s the random girl in this hypothetical, or if she’s talking about other random girls. I sigh. “I like him.”

  “Enough to fuck a girl with him, so… obviously. But what else? If you don't love him, how do you feel about him?”

  “Do we have to talk about feelings?” I ask.

  “Yes,” she says, squirting a new dollop of shaving cream on the other side of my face. “We’re about to fuck up each other’s lives in a major way. I think it’s good to go into this knowing how we feel about each other, don’t you?”

  “I dunno,” I say. Because I don’t do feelings. And I definitely don’t talk about them.

  “We don't even know each other,” Yvette says.

  “We kinda know you,” AJ replies. “We’ve been watching you for a while now.”

  “Not inside the bar. I never saw you.”

  “No, just following you when you go places.”

  “Because you wanted to see if I knew where the baby was?” she asks.

  I suck in a deep breath, really uncomfortable with this conversation.

  “We didn’t know about the baby,” AJ replies.

  “Then why were you here?”

  “We just…” AJ looks at me for help. Because he doesn’t really know why we’re here. “Uh… you gonna handle this, Logan?”

  I clear my throat to give myself a second to think up some plausible answer. Then just toe the line and say the script. “He told me he was looking for something you had. And I’d know it when I saw it.”

  “Hmm,” she says. “Sounds pretty cryptic if you ask me. Maybe almost suspiciously vague.”

  “Yeah,” AJ says. “It does.” His eyes meet mine and they’re suddenly worried. “You don’t think he’s got other plans for us, do you?”

  Shit. “What do you mean?”

  “I dunno. Like… why are we here?”

  Yvette stops to clean the razor in the bowl of water, then stares down at me. “Aside from killing me, that is.”

  “That’s it,” I lie.

  “That can’t be it,” AJ says. “First of all, here’s weird point number one. We haven’t worked together in a long time. Like… really long time. Couple years, at least. And weird point number two—you don’t even handle the hits anymore. That’s my job. So why send you and me? Why not me and one of my other guys?”

  “I don’t know, Aje.”

  “Also,” he continues, “you and I both know that when Damon says ‘You don’t need clean-up,’ that’s a bad sign. I’ve been thinking about that ever since you hung up with him yesterday. Pretty much everyone who goes into a hit without a clean-up crew gets offed in the end.”

  “That’s not true,” I say. “You did a job right before we left with no clean-up crew and you made it out alive.” What I don’t say is, I sent in my own clean-up crew afterward. Because that was before I knew he was on my hit list. Those guys he was with on that last job were probably supposed to kill him and they chickened out. It’s kind of a big deal to off your boss, even when his boss tells you to. That’s what I figure, anyway. “And I already told you,” I add, “I got a guy on stand-by anyway.”

  “Yeah,” AJ says, not sounding convinced.

  “You got a guy on stand-by,” Yvette says. “To clean up my dead body?”

  OK, I need to put an end to this conversation. “No,” I say. “Anyone can get rid of a dead body. It’s the DNA wipe-down that gets people caught.”

  “Oh, right.” She laughs. “I knew that.” Then she rolls her eyes and turns to AJ and says, “Can you get me a hot towel, please?”

  AJ nods, gets up, and walks out of the shower.

  Yvette leans in and whispers, “If you want me to trust you, lying doesn’t help.”

  I’m just about to open my mouth and d
eny my lies when she places two fingers across my lips and says, “Don’t.”

  AJ comes back in with a hand towel, gets it wet under the hot shower, squeezes it out, and hands it to Yvette.

  “Thank you,” she says, taking the towel. She places it against my face, gently wiping away any leftover shaving cream, and then presses it one more time against my now smooth skin.

  She smiles at me when she takes the towel away. “You’re really handsome, you know that?”

  I nod out of instinct. Then regret it and say, “I think you’re very beautiful, Yvette.”

  This time her smile isn’t as big. Almost a frown. “Thanks.”

  AJ can’t see it though. He’s behind her when it comes out because it’s only meant for me.

  Yvette places both hands on my cheeks, leans in, and kisses me. And through the camouflage of this kiss she whispers, “I’ll let you be my monster. Just don’t hurt me.”

  I stare at her. Our eyes locked. But then she pulls away and leans her head on my shoulder. Sighs with something that might be… relief.

  God, what am I doing?

  I’m making promises I can’t keep, is the answer I don’t want to admit.

  AJ catches none of this because he’s busy settling back into his corner. And once he is, he says, “So? I win, right?”

  I laugh and feel Yvette laugh too, in the form of a slight shake of her body.

  “Whatever,” I say. But then I amend that to add… “Whatever you want, AJ.”

  “That’s what I thought,” he says, leaning back against the wall.

  We’re quiet for a few moments and I have a sudden urge to know what everyone is thinking. But most of all I want them to know what I’m thinking.

  “Yvette,” I say, shaking her a little in my lap.

  “Hmmm?” she asks quietly.

  “You ever been to Mexico?”

  I see AJ look my direction from the corner of my eye.

  “No,” she murmurs. “Why?”

  “Because I got a place there.”

  “Wait,” AJ says. “You already have a place?”

  “Yeah. I bought it about a year ago. Whenever I get bored I look at houses down on that island.”

  “Hold on.” AJ laughs. “You house-hunt as a hobby?”

  “I told you I wanted out, Aje. I wasn’t just talking out my ass.”

  “Yeah… but you said we can’t go there because Damon knows about it.”

  “Sure,” I say. “I did say that. And it’s still true. But when I bought it I was just thinking of myself. And now that we’re all reevaluating our life choices, it’s as good a place as any.”

  Yvette sits up in my lap and looks at me. “You’re going to kill him?”

  “Who?” I ask. Too quickly. Because I was thinking about AJ and how Damon wants him dead when her question comes out.

  “Damon,” she says. “Who else?”

  “Oh. No. I’m not gonna kill Damon.”

  “Then what are we gonna do about him? Just pretend he’s not a threat?”

  “Just trust me,” I say, then realize if there’s one thing these two people know best about me, it’s that I can’t be trusted. So I add, “I’ll take care of it.”

  They’re both silent for a moment too long so I redirect their thoughts to something practical and slap Yvette’s ass. “OK, let’s get out of this shower before we shrivel up like prunes. Where did you get those clothes this morning?” I ask. “Got any more? I don’t want to put my suit back on.”

  She frowns at me, but nods her head. “Yeah. In a bedroom downstairs near the bar.”

  I stand up, taking her with me, and then set her down next to AJ. “Mind if I go look?”

  She thinks about this for a few seconds longer than I expected, but then finally shakes her head. “No, go ahead.”

  “Find something that’ll fit me too,” AJ calls as I step out of the shower and grab a towel. I wrap it around my waist, and call out, “Sure,” over my shoulder as I make my way out of the bathroom.

  Chapter Thirty-One - AJ

  Yvette and I leave the shower. She goes hunting for her clothes while I dry off and stare at the fogged-up mirror.

  “I’ll be right back,” Yvette calls from the living room. “I’m gonna go help Logan find clothes.”

  “Sure,” I say, wiping a circle of steam off the mirror so I can see my face. She called him handsome. Which he is. Otherwise I wouldn’t bother with him. That’s superficial at first glance, but… you know. I’m into the threesome shit. And it’s a lot easier trying to talk a girl into two dudes when they’re both hot with big cocks.

  I chuckle in the mirror. Because sometimes I find myself ridiculous.

  But then I frown and stare at my features again.

  Perhaps I should’ve let her give me a shave? Just to make the edges of my ever-present stubble sharp. Because damn. I think my plan worked maybe a little too well.

  They made a connection. Which I wanted, but only because I felt like Yvette and I were out ahead of Logan and he needed to catch up.

  But now… I feel a little left behind.

  How did that happen so quick?

  That’s why these threesome trysts we have are always temporary. It’s really hard to love two people at the same time with equal measure.

  I’m not worried about me. Or Logan, for that matter. We know how to share. We know how to detach from the jealousy.

  But Yvette… she’s not used to this the way we are.

  Could she, one day, maybe… choose one of us over the other?

  It’s always a risk. But we’re about to take so many risks that I’m not sure this is one we need at the moment.

  What if we get to that island and she decides she likes Logan better? What would I do?

  Or what if Logan is really into her now and she decides she likes me better? What would he do?

  Would we fight over this woman? Would we erase the history we have to possess her? Would we stoop to any level to get what we want?

  You don’t have to look too far back into history to see that men do lots of stupid things for a woman. They ruin friendships, and families, and sometimes whole civilizations over their possessiveness. And Logan and I are already that guy to some degree. The kind who wants what he wants and does whatever it takes to get it.

  That’s us.

  Is it stupid to think we can pull this off? Not only the part about escaping Damon. That’s its own monster. But the part about taking one woman between us.

  It can’t ever work, can it?

  Good fucking God. What did I do?

  My phone rings. It’s in my pants, which are on the bathroom floor.

  I know who it is without looking. Only one person it could be.

  I pick it up, tab accept, and say, “Damon.”

  “AJ,” he says. “You’re still alive.”

  “Yeah.” I laugh. “Sorry about that. Fucking huge-ass blizzard came through here yesterday. We got stuck in the bar.”

  “Is she dead?”

  “Uh…” I want to lie. But I don’t know what Logan’s plan is. So it’s a bad idea. “No,” I say. “Not yet.”

  “Well, that surprises me.”

  Here’s the really creepy thing about Damon. He’s an asshole to the nth degree. He loses his temper regularly. Just goes off on tantrums and rants. Like all the time. But he has this other side to him too. This side he’s showing me right now. The calm, evil side that says, with a straight face, to the men in his wedding party, “Go ahead and fuck my new wife.”

  Anyone who thinks Logan is the world champion of zero emotions hasn’t seen this side of Damon.

  “We’re gonna do it now,” I say. “Then head out. Probably be back tonight.”

  “Both of you?” he asks.

  Which puzzles me. “What do you mean?”

  “I mean what I said. Both of you are returning home?”

  “Yeah,” I say, getting a very bad feeling about this.

  “Well, that’s why I’m surpris
ed.”

  “What?”

  “Because I told Logan to kill you before he came home. And obviously he hasn’t done that either.”

  “What?”

  “You heard me, AJ.”

  “Why the fuck would you tell him to kill me?”

  Damon sighs on the other end of the phone. “Because, AJ. I’m done with you. And it was a test for Logan. To see if he would. Obviously he’s failed. Miserably. So I’ll tell you what I’m gonna do. I’m gonna give you the chance I gave him. Kill my wife, then kill Logan, and you can come home and keep your job. Keep your life. Keep everything just like it was when you left.”

  I am literally speechless. There’s so much to unpack in that statement.

  “AJ?” Damon barks.

  “Yeah. I’m here.”

  “Did you understand my instructions?”

  “Yeah. I’ll get it done.”

  I can almost feel his evil smile on the other end of the phone conversation. Almost see it in the mirror in front of me.

  “Good. Then I’ll see you tonight.”

  He ends the call and I’m left standing there in front of the mirror. It’s fogged up again. The steam still swirling around in the bathroom.

  So I can’t see my face.

  Which is a good thing.

  Because I don’t know who I am right now.

  Chapter Thirty-Two - LOGAN

  Downstairs it’s cold and it takes me a few minutes to find the bedroom she’s talking about. There’s a hospital bed in there. So… guess this is where her father-in-law died.

  Pretty. Sad.

  Choosing clothes for us yesterday must’ve been a thoughtful decision for her, because there’s a pile of them on a chair near the window. I walk over to it, then instinctively pull the curtain open to look outside.

  Upstairs I hear AJ and Yvette walking across the floor. Then some muted talking. There must be a vent in here connected to the bathroom.

  Snow has stopped. There’s even a hazy ray of sunshine on the trees.

  And as if on cue, I hear a rumble. Like a fleet of snowplows going past the bar, clearing the highway, and just underneath that, I hear a ringing phone.

  Well, I guess this little sideshow is over. Really is time to get back to business.

  I hunt through the clothes, find a pair of jeans and a t-shirt for me, but nothing for AJ. And I’m just about to turn and leave when I spy a box of baby clothes on the floor.