Soft Limits: A Deviations Novel (Deviations Series Book 6)

by Jodi Payne

  Be careful what you wish for, eh, old boy? Now that he had it, he had to be very sure to keep it safe.

  Under other circumstances, he would have called his dearest friend and only confidant for advice. Tobias knew him down to his very soul, and the man would have understood his predicament. He wished he could simply pick up the phone and invite Tobias round for a drink or dinner, but the Dom had been absent from the club for months, entirely off the scene as far as he knew. And for reasons that he understood were deeply personal, Tobias had chosen to remain completely out of touch, at least for the time being.

  Tobias had thrown himself into his work and his farm, therapy Tobias understandably needed to soothe an aching heart and troubled mind. Bradford didn’t feel it would be wise or fair to pull Tobias back into the club so abruptly.

  The BDSM scene, however, and the very particular desires of the Dominant man ran deep in Tobias’s veins. He’d been a member for just shy of twenty years and, like Bradford, was part of the very soul of the club. Tobias would return eventually, and when he did, Bradford would come up with something—or someone—special for him.

  But that was a matter for another day.

  He looked at Nikki. The boy’s words, the ones he’d been mulling over for an hour, echoed in his mind.

  You’re not my Dom.

  Nikki’s words were entirely, and frustratingly, too true. It took every ounce of restraint he’d had in him not to insist that the boy call him “sir” while bound. In light of such a strong objection, however, Nikki’s utter lack of reaction to the diminutive term, “boy,” was telling. He had been sneaking it into their conversations for the last day or so deliberately, and in his mind, that tacit acceptance had taken the boy much farther down the road to becoming his than Nikki realized.

  But these goddamn baby steps were going to be the death of him.

  Binding Nikki to that cross was at once thrilling and agonizing. The boy’s reaction to the cuffs and the leather and level of unquestioning trust was breathtaking. But his fingers itched to touch Nikki in a more meaningful way, and his arm ached for a whip or a paddle. The boy’s emotional catharsis made it very clear, however, even without the whip or any kind of agreement between the two of them, that for Nikki the cross was like accelerating from zero to sixty in seconds. It would be a while before he allowed Nikki to return to that room for a scene.

  Still, the boy had been so brave, so willing to step out onto that ledge with him.

  Or—was it for him?

  Oh God, the depth of potential in the beautiful blue-eyed boy was astounding.

  He sat again, responsibility weighing heavily on him. The boy could be his. Just a few more tiny steps, a few more fragile moments, and he could have everything he wanted. But Bradford would never allow it to happen at the expense of Nikki’s well-being. No, Bradford was going to have to help the boy through this moment, and, he suspected, several more like it before his hopes were realized.

  There was a knock at the door and Bradford stood right back up again, making his way out into the hall and closing the door behind him.

  “Sorry to interrupt, sir.”

  “No, that’s all right, Levi. What can I do for you?”

  “Noah Dolan on the line for you, sir, about Friday. I didn’t want to buzz the room and wake up Nikki.”

  “Good thinking. Yes, I owe him a phone call. Give him my sincere apologies, will you? Tell him that I do have a match to propose to him for Friday, but I’ll have to call him later tonight. You can explain that I’m with a sub. He’ll understand.”

  “Oh?” Levi gave him a knowing look. “Are you with a sub, sir?”

  Bradford smiled. “Most assuredly, Levi. It’s only a matter of time, now.”

  Great heavens, he sounded like a dirty old man.

  How very appropriate.

  Levi hurried off to the house phone in the hall and Bradford headed back into Nikki’s room. The bed was empty, and the bathroom light was on.

  “Nikki?”

  When he didn’t get an answer he made his way across the room, realizing about halfway to the door that could hear the shower running. He hesitated a moment, trying to decide if it was better to walk away for now or just poke his head in and ask if the boy needed anything. An anguished sound followed by a heavy sob made his mind up for him.

  “Boy?” He burst into the bathroom in full protective mode, brows furrowed and ears tuned to the sobbing coming from behind the shower curtain. He could barely breathe for all the steam and he instantly started to sweat.

  “Nikki.”

  Nikki didn’t answer, he just continued to moan and cry while the bathroom filled with steam.

  “Goddamnit.” He cursed under his breath and reached for the shower curtain, pulling it aside in one smooth motion.

  The boy turned to look at Bradford. His hair was wet and hanging in his eyes, his shoulders were hunched and shaking, and he had a miserably defeated look on his face. He turned to face Bradford and leaned in slowly, sobbing against Bradford’s chest.

  “Oh.” He hooked a hand behind Nikki’s neck and pulled the boy into his shoulder. Nikki’s wet head and the water from the shower quickly soaked through his shirt and splashed onto his trousers, the water so hot it seared his skin.

  “Christ, Nikki! What are you doing?” He tried to reach around the boy to shut the water off but he couldn’t reach the knobs. “Out. Come on, out. Now, boy.”

  Nikki obeyed, stepping out of the shower, and it was only then that he could see how red the boy’s skin was. There was no way that hadn’t hurt.

  He was finally able to reach the taps and shut the water off, and after that he pulled a towel off a rack nearby and wrapped Nikki in it. It was difficult to tell if the boy was still sobbing or shivering while his heated skin mingled with the cooler air.

  “Hold on, boy. Let me just…” He took a moment to unbutton and peel off his wet shirt. While he was at it, he kicked off his shoes and dropped his trousers to the floor. He made his way over to the bathroom door and retrieved the thick robe that hung there, wrapping himself in its softness with a sigh. “Okay. I’m going to have a look at your skin, boy.” He reached for the towel and removed it, then ran eyes and fingers over Nikki’s skin to be sure the boy wasn’t injured.

  Nikki didn’t make a sound or fight him on any of it.

  “Well, your skin is very warm to the touch, boy, but it doesn’t look like you’ve damaged yourself.” Bradford dried Nikki’s hair and toweled off the boy’s legs, keeping things as clinical as he could lest he lose himself to the smooth, nearly hairless beauty of the boy’s slightly freckled skin, and the impressive heft of Nikki’s flaccid cock.

  Bradford steered Nikki to the bedroom and got him into a pair of briefs before tucking him back into bed.

  He hesitated at the edge of the bed, second-guessing his own instincts.

  “Oh, for God’s sake.” Bradford shook his head at himself. The boy didn’t have to be a sub to appreciate his comfort. He climbed up into bed with Nikki and pulled the boy into his arms.

  Nikki seemed to rally a bit at that and snuggled into him, resting on his shoulder, one hand on his chest.

  “Talk, boy.”

  “I’m sorry.”

  “It’s quite all right. Tell me what happened—not just now, we’ll get to that. Tell me what happened on the cross.”

  Nikki took a deep breath, and he felt the boy shudder. “I believed you.”

  Bradford nodded slowly. He thought he knew where Nikki was headed with that, but he wanted the why. “You felt safe?”

  Nikki nodded against his chest. “My hands and feet were locked to that cross, and I couldn’t move, there was no way I could do anything for myself. But you told me I was safe with you, you told me you would take care of me and I just…wanted that so badly. I want that so badly.”

  “For someone else to take responsibility?”

  “Yes.”

  “For someone to take care of you.” See to your needs, he
lp you learn yourself. A Dom.

  “Yes. For the doubt to go away. For the worry to stop.”

  “Worry.”

  “About being alone. About never finding—”

  “Family.” He didn’t mean to put words in the boy’s mouth, but he knew. He knew exactly what Nikki was telling him.

  “Yes.”

  “For someone to tell you that you belong.”

  Oh, God.

  Nikki didn’t just remind him of the young man he once was, the shelter kid his mentor rescued many years ago. Nikki essentially was that young man.

  “Yes.” Nikki sat up and looked at Bradford, wonder in his sapphire eyes.

  “Someone you trust.”

  “I trust you.”

  “Thank you, boy.” Inside he was cheering. “So, in that moment you believed me, that I would look after you, that I would keep you safe.”

  “I realized that I had no choice, so I just…and it was so…I felt so light. I was bound to that cross, but I felt so free.” Nikki sighed and settled that blond head against his chest again. “You made me feel free.”

  He’d been quite right, and also somewhat wrong about this boy. All his careful consideration and he still hadn’t come close to figuring Nikki out. The cross wasn’t too much for the boy. It wasn’t too much at all. If anything, it was a springboard to deeper discovery. Nikki had a capacity for submission that he was only beginning to grasp, and Bradford couldn’t wait to dive in further.

  “And the shower?”

  Nikki shook his head. “I don’t know. I wanted a shower. But once I got in I just kept turning the cold tap down until I’d turned it off completely. I don’t know, I wasn’t thinking really, I just…did it.”

  He knew. He absolutely knew that it was time to get this boy into a scene. A real one. Into a scene and out of his own head.

  He hugged Nikki to him and stroked fingers through the boy’s damp hair.

  “I want to talk with you about something Nikki, but not now. Not while you’re emotional. Perhaps in a couple of days when you’re feeling better, you would have dinner with me again?”

  “Oh, sure. Dinner was really good.”

  Bradford smiled. “Good.”

  Nikki sighed. “I’m starving.”

  Bradford laughed. Oh, to be twenty again when, despite everything, your stomach was still your highest priority. “Let’s get you a burger then, boy.”

  11

  Bradford did love to throw a party, and like every good Leo, he loved his birthday too. The middle of July meant it was time to start planning for his Big Birthday Bash. He threw himself a lavish party every year, always with a different theme, and frequently with outside entertainment. He’d decided that this year’s party was going to be a grand black-and-white masked ball: Doms in black, subs in white.

  The summer was typically the quietest season for the club, and the hot months dragged on without many occasions for celebration. Toward the end of August, members started to reappear from whatever summer retreats they’d escaped to and were looking to reconnect and reengage. It was the perfect time for a soiree.

  But just a day after Nikki’s first real submissive breakthrough, he wasn’t able to concentrate on celebrations. He closed the folder on his desk and tapped his fingers on it, trying with little success to clear his mind.

  His desk phone rang, an outside line, and he knew Levi would pick it up. Moments later, however, his phone buzzed.

  “For me?”

  “Yes, sir. Noah Dolan, sir.”

  “Oh, for the love of…I forgot to call him back. Thank you, Levi, I’ll take it.”

  “Yes, sir. Line four.”

  Bradford sighed and shook his head. Noah had been frustrated with his experience at the club of late and was close enough to giving up his membership already. Losing a sub of Noah’s caliber could be damaging from a business perspective and simply bad form from a personal one.

  “Good afternoon, Noah,” Bradford said smoothly.

  “Master Bradford. You’re a hard man to reach.”

  “Entirely my fault, Noah. I’ve been occupied with a sub who is in a very delicate place and it’s had me distracted.”

  “I hope he is all right?”

  “He’s doing better, thank you. Kind of you to think of him. I think things are improving.”

  “Good to hear.”

  “But that isn’t why you called. I apologize for my excuses. You are calling about Friday?”

  “Yeah. Levi told me you might have a match in mind?”

  “I do. He’s a charter member of the club, highly experienced.”

  “Sounds promising.”

  Noah was employed in law enforcement and, from what Bradford understood, had a regular downtown beat. Calling during his workday meant that he was on duty. Bradford had learned not to expect the deference Noah would, of course, give to a Dom at other times. At one of his early membership interviews, Noah drew a hard line when it came to his personal time. It was important to the boy that he not be required to respond as a sub should 24/7. Their agreement was that Noah was a cop outside of the confines of the club, and Bradford respected that. He certainly wasn’t the only one.

  “Before I get in too far with my suggestions, Noah, let me clarify with you once more my understanding of what you’re looking for?”

  “Sure, go ahead.”

  “You’re still looking to find a long-term Dom, someone looking for a contract?”

  “Ideally. I’m not getting what I need from these one-off evenings, you know?”

  “Yes, I understand.” That request in itself was a tall order. It cut out half his Dominant members right off the bat, and despite his knack for bringing men together, Bradford didn’t much care for playing matchmaker for long-term arrangements, either. But he’d had this sort of request before, and he had some idea how to go about helping Noah find what he needed.

  “Even if I could just find someone regular, you know? A standing Friday night session, some way to get to know the D…the guy better, work on a rapport. Dig deeper.”

  Noah was nothing if not deep. During Noah’s early days at the club, Bradford worked with him exclusively for a couple of weeks, as he did with every new sub that professed to be experienced. Noah’s presentation was perfect; there was nothing he could teach the boy in that regard, and he knew immediately that there wasn’t a Dom in the stable that wouldn’t be satisfied by a session. But Noah never relaxed with him, not completely, nor had the boy been able to do so with any other Dom he’d paired with Noah since.

  “Yes, I understand, Noah.”

  “They can’t be satisfied just with what feels good.”

  He nodded. That was it, wasn’t it? Noah needed someone to push him past good enough, past common expectations. “They need to challenge you.”

  “Yes.”

  “How?”

  “I’m sorry?”

  “How do you want to be pushed? Is there a particular boundary you want to work on?”

  “I…” Noah sighed. “Yeah, um. That’s the thing, I don’t know. I’m not sure where my limits are right now. I need help to figure that out.”

  “Hm.”

  “I’m sorry, Master Bradford. But that is exactly the issue, I think.”

  “Not to worry, boy. I hear what you’re telling me.” One thing he could count on from Noah, at least, was honesty. Sometimes to a fault.

  “What do you know about Master Reed?”

  “Um, he’s older, been there a while, has a reputation for hitting hard.”

  “All right. Yes, as I said, he is a charter member. He’s been with the club longer than I have. Longer than almost anyone.” He’d been a good friend of Harrison’s, back in the day. “His strengths lie in the heavy-hitting tools. He’s very demanding, he won’t allow you to get away with anything—he won’t settle—and he doesn’t let up until he’s had enough, or he thinks he’s pushed you nearly to your words. His scenes are dynamic and intense.”

  “Wow.”
>
  “Mm. He’s not for the faint of heart, my boy, I promise you that. And he’ll use every verbal tool in the handbook to keep you off balance—demands, humiliation, praise, coercion, anger, encouragement, abuse, you name it. You’ll have to work for sure. But whether that will help you accomplish your goals, whether you’ll find a boundary, I couldn’t say. You won’t get off easy, though, and I believe he’ll at least get you out of your head.”

  “He knows what I need?”

  “He will. And I know he will attempt to push you. I’ll be sure he sees your file and understands your few hard limits.”

  “Well. He sounds intimidating.”

  To say the least. “What good is a Dom that isn’t, my boy?”

  Noah laughed. “Okay, terrifying.”

  “Mhm. That’s a fair assessment. So, what do you think?”

  “I’m interested.”

  “Excellent. Let’s give this a try and see if Reed can at least help you clarify things for yourself.”

  “Great. Thanks, Master Bradford.”

  Now for the important bit. “One tip, Noah. If you want to impress him at the outset, dress.”

  “Like a tie?”

  “Like a tie and a jacket. And a clean shave. He’ll take you more seriously.”

  “Thanks for the tip.”

  “Good day.”

  “Bye, sir.”

  Bradford put down the phone. He’d thought long and hard about this match. He remembered his own training with Reed—the only way to describe him was relentless. Reed was older now, well into his sixties, but just as in shape as ever. He knew Noah could handle the intensity, and he knew Reed would be pleased with the boy. He just didn’t know if the pair could find what it was Noah was looking for.

  12

  The dining room was buzzing. It was Friday night and the club was fairly busy for a summer weekend, but that wasn’t what had everyone excited. Bradford knew damn well that it was his own fault the boys were all wound up. He had a dinner reservation, which was common enough for a Friday night, but what wasn’t common was that he had dressed for the occasion.