Walk For Me: Club Avalon Book 4

by Kay Elle Parker

  She reached for him, twisting at the hips to make it easier for him to grasp her around the waist and scoop her out. The truck was too high to risk her trying to get out by herself—the last thing she needed was broken bones on top of everything else. She sighed, looping an arm around his shoulders, then touched her hand briefly to his cheek. “Don’t get your hopes up, Atticus.”

  She was in the perfect position to kiss, and when her beautiful eyes were so sad and dejected, he wanted nothing more than to brighten them. Instead of claiming those pretty lips a second time, Atticus settled her into the chair, knowing they were cutting time a little too close for comfort.

  He hated being late.

  “No hopes raised, Alicia. Just think of this as a check-up. An overdue, routine check-up.” Knowing how sore her hands could get when she used the rims, Atticus took the handles and started pushing her toward the massive building, trying to remember the quickest way to get to the neurosurgery department. “So, what ice cream are we getting?”

  Her stubbled head tipped back far enough to give him the side eye. “Frozen dairy products are not enough to distract me, Atticus.”

  Ooops, almost forgot. Atticus stopped the chair. “Hang on one second, princess.” He jogged back to the truck and retrieved what he’d set on the back seat before he’d taken Alicia. His strides ate up the ground as he returned, dropping the item into her lap before resuming his steering duties.

  She still hadn’t said a word by the time they reached the building, and he couldn’t see her face to know whether he’d just made a huge mistake. He thanked a guy who held the door open into the building, pushing his charge down the busy corridor and following the signs for neurosurgery.

  Keenly aware of the time, Atticus made a quick stop in a handy waiting area, kicking on the brakes and circling around to sit on his haunches in front of Alicia. He wasn’t prepared for the sight of her, gripping the fluffy teddy bear like a fucking anchor to her chest, her eyes red and wet with the tears slicking her cheeks. “Oh, baby. Fuck, don’t do that. Here, give it to me, I’ll—”

  “No!” She hiccupped viciously and tightened those painfully thin arms around the bear. “He’s mine. He’s mine, he’s mine.” She rubbed her face against the golden-brown fur, visibly fighting the sobs he could almost see straining her fragile chest. “Don’t take him away.”

  If he’d had any doubts at all about her being a little, they went sailing out of the closest window. “All right, Alicia. It’s okay, no one’s taking him away from you.” Atticus couldn’t help his smile; she was too damn adorable.

  As he started to push to his feet, Alicia lunged forward unexpectedly. Quick reflexes caught her before she could hurt herself, but as he discovered, her aim was fucking perfect.

  Her mouth crushed against his, only a fraction off target. All soft and warm. Her breath shuddered over his lips before her tongue pressed between them, and all hell broke loose.

  The bear was crushed between them as her hands delved into Atticus’s hair and gripped. She was feverish in her demands, her urgency firing his own. He barely felt his knees hit the floor, didn’t know his own fucking name, as he used his weight to shove her back into the chair and pin her.

  Alicia was innocence and sin twisted into one delightful package. Vanilla and spice on his tongue. In a heartbeat, he switched from recipient to aggressor, feeling his cock rise to the occasion with gleeful anticipation.

  Breathing hard, he yanked himself back before he forgot they were in a hospital. It wasn’t smart to let himself take what he wanted—he’d take fucking everything given the opportunity and, judging by Alicia’s reaction, she was riding that don’t give a fuck high right alongside him.

  “I stand a better chance of survival being struck by a meteor than I am of surviving you,” he muttered under his breath, running his hand softly over her head. Scooping the bear up, he tucked it back into Alicia’s hands. “Are you okay?”

  Cuddling the fluffy bundle, she nodded slowly. Those huge blue eyes still glistened with tears, but they were contained. This time when he got to his feet, she reached out and laid her hand over his. “We both know it’s pointless fighting this, Atticus. I don’t know if you don’t want to fuck me because of what happened with Abraham, or because my legs are pretty much just props, but—”

  “We’ll talk about this later, Lisha. This isn’t the place to discuss sensitive subjects, and I need time to think about the consequences of what I do next. Okay?” He hated having to deny her yet again, but it couldn’t be helped. There was so much at stake, and he did not want to be the one who sent it all rolling down shit hill in a rickety old cart. “Julie’s going to scalp me bald if we’re late.”

  Apparently satisfied that they’d be talking about this again in the near future, Alicia adjusted herself in the chair and stroked her new friend’s fur. “Better hurry. I like your hair too much to sacrifice it in the name of tardiness.”

  “Minx.” He chuckled, wondering how he was going to break the news to Braun that he planned to cement Alicia into his life a little more permanently than previously agreed.

  Preferably, he thought, from a distance.

  *

  Some of the anxiety of the day eased with the addition of Atticus’s present.

  When it landed on her lap, it had stolen her breath. Mind whirling, she’d simply stared at it, expecting it to disappear as quickly as it had arrived, but it hadn’t. It had just laid there, looking up at her with those big, glossy black eyes, and she’d been a kid again, clueless and naïve, watching her father cut open her favorite blue teddy bear to stuff it full of small packets full of powder and pills.

  This one wasn’t blue, but a soft gold-brown color which reminded her of waffles. When she sniffed it, it didn’t smell of mass production or newly-made blandness. No, the silky fur held the distinct scent of the man she could kiss all over again as thank you for the gift. “Did you know he smells like you?”

  The wheels on her chair squeaked on the smooth floor as Atticus pushed her carefully around a corner and through an open pair of double doors. He paused briefly beside the reception desk. “Atticus Heisler bringing Alicia McGee for an appointment with Doctor Moss.”

  “There’s a waiting room on the left hand side, three doors down. If you wait there, I’ll let Doctor Moss know you’ve arrived.”

  Alicia kept her eyes on the bear, unable to watch where Atticus was taking her. She hated hospitals, hated what they stood for in her reality, and what happened when the curtains around the bed closed. She concentrated on the feel of the big squishy paws in her hands, the texture of the fur under her fingers, rather than the rows of doors she understood led to hell in all its many forms.

  “He smells like me because he’s wearing my aftershave. Scent is a powerful trigger for memories, good and bad. I’m hoping I’m a positive factor in your life, princess, so having something that reminds you of me if I’m not here when you need me seemed like a good idea.” The chair drew to a stop, then the brakes snapped on. A moment later, he moved around to sit on the little table in front of her. “We all need comfort when we’re scared, Alicia. Some of us need something tangible to hold when fear and anxiety get the better of us.”

  “Like now?” she mumbled.

  “Exactly like now.” He nudged her chin up with a knuckle, and for a moment, his eyes were direct on hers before they lifted over her head and darkened slightly. “Think of a good name for him, Lisha. A brave bear should have a strong name.”

  The hairs on the back of her neck stood up. It was pathetic for a grown woman to be so afraid of the unknown, but she couldn’t help it. Most people weren’t friends to her—they were strangers who demanded things from her, did things to her for their own entertainment or pleasure. New places weren’t fun adventures, but frightening experiences.

  As Atticus rose to greet the person behind her, Alicia squeezed her eyes shut, wrapped herself around the bear, and made herself as small as she could. Of course, shrinking in he
r seat didn’t work—she sensed the other person moving around to stand near Atticus, and a sweetly floral fragrance teased her nose.

  “Alicia, I’d like you to meet Doctor Julia Moss. Julia is a neurosurgeon with twenty years’ experience, and she likes looking through older cases to see if modern medicine can help where it couldn’t before.” Atticus’ hand settled on her shoulder, squeezing gently. “Alicia isn’t being rude. She’s just unused to social interaction, and this appointment has upset the balance of her routine.”

  “Sprung it on her at the last minute, did you?”

  “No point worrying over something when there’s nothing you can do about it. Alicia’s had enough to deal with reacclimating to living like a human, instead of an animal.” Those fingers of his transferred to the nape of her neck and stroked until a moan rose in her throat.

  “Understandably.” The confident female voice, edged with a slight huskiness, grew closer.

  Alicia kept her eyes closed. She’d made the acquaintance of doctors like this one before—they were all nice and trust me, trust me, before they shoved needles into her arms and did things to her spine that she couldn’t describe.

  “That’s a very handsome bear you have here, Alicia. I’m a little jealous—I have a collection of my own, but none like this one. Perhaps he’d like to come with us while we have a talk about how you’ve been doing since you were last here for a check-up?”

  Wary of a trap, Alicia peered at the woman through slitted eyelids.

  “Ah, there you are.” Pale green eyes brightened as a wide mouth curved into a delighted smile. A kind face, older than Alicia had expected, but still very pretty. A sleek tail of straight blonde hair curled over and down the shoulder of the lavender blue blouse the woman wore, and a few wayward tendrils drifted around her ears. “I’m Doctor Moss, as your guardian here said, but you can call me Julia if you like.”

  Biting her bottom lip, Alicia muttered, “I’m not allowed to be that informal.”

  Atticus’s fingers bit into her shoulder for the briefest second. “Alicia, you’re not a child anymore. No one’s going to beat you for interacting with people like an adult.”

  “Let’s go into my office. There’s more privacy in there, and we can get started so Alicia isn’t here any longer than she’s comfortable with.” Still smiling, the doctor walked beside the wheelchair as Atticus unlocked the brakes and followed her lead. “Now, you’ll probably find that I don’t work the same way as your doctor of record. My methods are different, but because they work, the hospital gives me some leeway in how I conduct my clinics.”

  Alicia pressed back in her chair as they approached an open doorway. Every instinct in her screamed not to go in there, but she was in no position to avoid it. Her breath caught on a fearful inhale, the noise covered by the wheels rumbling quietly, and then that goddamn door clicked shut behind them.

  Desk, chairs, computer, wall screen, exam table. On the surface, it looked like any other doctor’s office, but she knew how much could be concealed in plain sight.

  “I’ve taken a good look at your scans, Alicia, and I have a few questions. Atticus, why don’t you take a seat next to your charge while I pull these up on the screen?” Sliding gracefully into her padded desk chair, the doctor clicked on the mouse and brought the wall screen flickering to life.

  An x-ray popped up side by side with an MRI scan image.

  Alicia recognized them both as hers.

  “I realize that these were taken almost a decade ago,” Julia continued, swiveling to face her as Atticus engaged the brakes again, then settled his huge frame into the undersized patient’s chair beside her. “Can you remember what medications Doctor Fielding prescribed for you at that time?”

  That was like asking her to remember what day she’d sneezed. “No.”

  “That’s okay. If I were to list a few possible ones, would you remember any then?”

  “I was ten. My parents didn’t keep me clued up on what they were giving me.” Alicia twisted the bear in her hands, then felt immediately guilty. “Even up until their deaths, I just took what they gave me. Two small white pills, twice a day.”

  “I’m sorry for your loss. What about after their passing?”

  Shaking her head slowly, Alicia frowned. “The night my parents died, I was taken to the hospital. They stopped the meds, said I didn’t need them. I haven’t been on anything since then, and that was like…eighteen months ago.”

  “I see…Did you notice any side effects or changes in yourself once you were off the medication?”

  That was another no. At that time, she’d been plagued by grief and relief, drowning in guilt, and terrified she was going to prison for murdering Abraham and Diane. On top of that had been worry for Boadicea, not to mention concern for herself in regards to where she was going to stay, how she was going to live on her own when she’d never left the house.

  “All right, so a few things aren’t adding up for me. Let’s talk about what’s going on with you now—there will be some personal details I need from you, Alicia, so if you don’t feel comfortable answering them with Atticus here, just say so. He can step out for ten minutes.”

  No, he really couldn’t. If he went, Alicia would roll herself out of there faster than a gazelle with a cheetah on its heels. “He can stay. He knows just about everything already.”

  Julia sighed and tapped her finger against her lips thoughtfully. “Fielding’s reports state that the injuries you sustained amounted to what we call a complete spinal cord injury, which means that the cord transferring signals from your brain to your limbs is compromised. Can you tell me what you feel from your hips down?”

  Vaguely uncomfortable, Lisha squirmed. “I know when they’re hot or cold, or when something’s touching them. They feel like normal legs, I guess, but they just don’t work.”

  “Any movement? Can you wiggle your toes, flex them at all?”

  “No. That was lost years ago.”

  “Okay. I think we’ll get the embarrassing data out of the way next—your bathroom needs. Are you reliant on incontinence pads? I don’t see anything to suggest a catheter.”

  Blushing, Alicia almost choked. “N-No, I can use a toilet. I don’t wear diapers.” She shifted uncomfortably, remembering the urine burns on her skin and how they could have been so much worse if she’d been forced to wear diapers. Luckily, the salve Atticus used on her had done its job. “You’re not putting a tube in me!”

  “Relax, Alicia. If you don’t need one, that’s good. Very good.” The doctor gave Atticus a weird look that Alicia couldn’t decipher. “Can you sense the fullness of your bladder? Does it tell you when you need to go to the bathroom, or do you just go regularly, whether you need to or not?”

  God, what kind of questions were these? “I go when I need to?”

  Julia smiled knowingly. “This must seem strange, but I promise they aren’t just random questions. I don’t want to assume anything, but have you been sexually active at any point?”

  The heat of her blush died. Drained from her face and left it feeling cold and numb. She stared down at her bear, then swallowed tightly when Atticus’s hand rested lightly on her forearm, supporting her without saying a word to interfere. Leaving her to decide what she divulged. “Y-Yes.”

  “Don’t be embarrassed. Sex is a natural function, a necessary one.”

  Not between father and daughter.

  “During foreplay, what sensations are you able to feel? Clitoral stimulation, vaginal stimulation—do you feel arousal with either of those?”

  Sick to her stomach, Alicia glanced at Atticus miserably, shame flooding her as she saw his features harden into a solid mask of control. He would hate her in the next few minutes, and she couldn’t blame him. “The first one didn’t use his hands. He just…shoved in. The other one was rough. He didn’t use his…his penis,” she said quietly, almost throwing up into the tense silence now smothering the room. “He liked to hurt me with his fingers.”

&nbs
p; The doctor’s eyes were huge with disbelief, flicking back and forth between Atticus and Alicia. She tried to speak, then thought better of it as Atticus growled like a demon.

  The fingers on her arm tightened, and she flinched as he leaned over to whisper in her ear. Some things weren’t meant to be told, and she’d fucked up royally by not thinking through her words before she said them.

  Waiting for the vitriol to spew at her, she trembled.

  “Breathe, princess. Just breathe and take a minute.” His grip gentled, and the warmth of his breath heated the chill of her skin. His voice was quiet enough to stay between them, leaving the doctor in the dark. “The other one? Was that Elliot?”

  Teeth chattering, her head jerked once in confirmation.

  “Dead man walking,” he hissed as though the orderly was already in his sights. He cupped her cheek, turned her face to meet his eyes. “People have a bad habit of taking advantage of you, don’t they? It’s not your fault, Lisha. It’s not,” he insisted when she sucked in a breath. “Some assholes don’t see innocence as something to treasure. They like to bruise it and break it. That’s a fault in them, not you.”

  “I’m sorry I’m hurting you,” she whispered, her eyes burning with unshed tears.

  “We don’t worry about me, I’m a big boy. You, on the other hand, are precious, Alicia, and I don’t like that you’re bottling this shit up.” He gave her a sad smile. “Do you think you can keep going with Julia?”

  She nodded. The ball was already in motion, and bogging it down with trauma from her past wouldn’t get her out of here any faster.

  “Good girl.” He didn’t kiss her like she hoped, but his thumb caressed her cheekbone before he sat properly in his chair. “Sorry, Julia, something we just needed to clear up.”

  “No problem. It’s probably a good thing I know you, Atticus, otherwise I’d be asking you a hell of a lot of uncomfortable questions.” The look she gave him was miles ahead of anything Alicia could summon. “Circumstances aside, Alicia, can you explain what you felt physically?”