Walk For Me: Club Avalon Book 4

by Kay Elle Parker

  Alicia clenched the tampon in her fist. “I told him he should go. He offered to cancel it, but I told him to go. If he has the chance to make her happy, he should do it.”

  “Anarchy certainly deserves to be happy,” Connie replied slowly, measuring her words carefully. “A few months ago, she and Jasper went through a very difficult time in their lives, one Jasper almost didn’t survive. I know this is something she’s wanted to try for a while, and Jasper is making it happen.”

  Mr. Bear looked at her with shiny, pitying black eyes.

  “There’s only one reason why a woman looks so forlorn, Alicia, and that’s when her heart’s breaking. How long have you been in love with Atticus?”

  Not long enough to have any say in his life, she thought sadly. Not long enough for him to set the scales with duty on one side, her on the other, and weigh heavily enough on her side for it to make a difference.

  She glanced at Mr. Bear, and saw all her flaws written on the furry face. She was a horrible little, nowhere near what he wanted or needed. She complained, she whined, she was an anchor locked around his ankle, dragging him away from the surface where his friends and his life waited for him to forget about the mistake he’d made by taking her in.

  Disgusted by herself, Alicia threw the bear into the corner of the room, unable to look at it anymore. If Atticus wasn’t her Daddy, then she didn’t need the crutch of a stupid teddy bear to make her feel loved.

  A sob rose in her throat as she realized she’d just thrown the bear away as easily as everyone had cast her aside. She felt ashamed and guilty, even though she understood the fur-covered stuffing didn’t have feelings. It wasn’t lying in the corner, wondering what it had done to be discarded in such a way, why she didn’t love it anymore.

  Connie sighed heavily, getting up and walking over to pick the teddy up. When she came back, she tucked it back under Alicia’s arm. “I’m beginning to see the big picture. Have you told him you want to have sex with him, Lisha?”

  “It’s not about sex. Not completely,” she added sullenly in response to Connie’s yeah, right look. “He asked me where I wanted this to go, and I told him I wanted all of it. The Daddy stuff, the sex stuff…everything. I’ve had a crush on him since the first time I met him, and it’s just grown into this huge living thing. It gets bigger every time he strokes my head or cups my cheek. And then he tells me he’s going out tonight to fuck another woman. No, not just another woman—someone he made a promise to.”

  “Stupid, stupid man,” Connie muttered, running her hand over her face in exasperation. “You know, for a guy as smart as he is, he’s as clueless as the rest of them sometimes. Make yourself comfortable, Lisha—you and I are gonna be here for a while, hashing this disaster out. We’ll find a way to fix it.”

  “We are?”

  “Oh yeah. We’re expert multitaskers, sweetie, we can deal with tampons and idiot men all at the same time.”

  *

  Two hours. What the hell had they been doing in there for two hours?

  Once Atticus dealt with the official business of hiring the former Special Forces agent as his new private investigator, they finished signing the papers in his office and returned to the kitchen to celebrate with an ice cold beer, and wait for the girls to emerge from Alicia’s bedroom.

  Was she hungry? She was due her afternoon snack to keep the hunger pangs at bay until dinner, and she needed to hydrate—her intake at breakfast had been well below standard, for obvious reasons, but that didn’t mean her body should suffer.

  “Got it bad for the littlest McGee, huh?” Thane asked, rolling his bottle lazily between his palms. Tiger-like amber eyes watched Atticus with the kind of focus he’d usually take as a threat. “Seems understandable. From everything Constance has told me about her—and Boadicea—they come across as the kind of women who are easy to fall for, and easier to keep. Thinking of keeping her, Att?”

  There was no more thinking about it. Until he fucked things up so royally, Atticus had been spinning around ideas of how he could make this work. Handling Braun and his temper wouldn’t be an issue—while Bodie was pregnant and at risk, Braun was blinkered to everything and anything else. Dealing with Alicia and her triggers was complicated, but with Connie’s help, they could make enough progress to make an improvement in Alicia’s life.

  All the little problems and issues could be resolved with time and patience. He just had to find the pattern to link them all together into a safety net, rather than leaving them dangling like nooses to snare her at every turn.

  Grunting, Att flipped Thane the bird.

  “Ah, a succinct answer. Never known you to run from the truth in the few months I’ve known you. If I’m honest, I thought you were incapable of telling a lie.”

  “Can’t lie if I don’t speak.”

  Thane grinned and leaned back on his stool, bracing himself on the counter behind him. What he’d found with Connie gave Att a few moments of pure green jealousy, but he didn’t begrudge either of them the chance to be happy—too much shit had gone down only a few weeks before, and the outcome could have been…disastrous.

  “That could be interpreted as you don’t want to lie, so you hold your tongue. That’s sweet, Att. Unfortunately, it won’t save you from Connie’s wrath or Braun’s if you don’t fix whatever calamity you’ve landed yourself in. Go on and tell me I’m full of shit,” Thane dared, raising his eyebrow. “We both know whatever feelings you have for that girl go beyond a simple duty of care.”

  Understatement of the fucking decade. Grumbling to himself, Att snagged his beer off the counter and chugged as he sat heavily on the chair beside his friend. There were only a handful of years between them—less than that, in fact. Both of them were bearing down on their fifties, but Thane had pulled his head out of his ass and made it his mission to ensure Connie stayed with him until the end of their days.

  “Makes me an asshole, doesn’t it?” Atticus asked gruffly. It was more of a rhetorical question than one he desired an answer to, because he knew it already. “She’s half my damn age, and I have a kink pedophiles would love to use as an excuse.”

  Amber eyes stared at him balefully. “Size difference or not, I will knock your dumb ass clean off that chair, Att. Who gives a fuck about age? Connie’s considerably younger than I am, but that didn’t factor into the equation. Why should it? Age isn’t the sum of our experiences. It isn’t a marker we can use to dictate who we can and can’t fall in love with. It’s a fucking number.” He sipped his own beer slowly, then clenched his jaw. “As for that last comment…seriously, I will knock you the fuck out if I hear you say that crap again.”

  “Why? You wanted me to be honest.”

  “Because you’re the furthest thing from a pedophile I can think of, you stupid idiot. There’s such a huge difference between a Daddy Dom and a pedophile—for starters, you don’t fuck children. Even if things gets sexual between you and Alicia, she’s an adult with the ability to consent or refuse, and you’d cut your dick off before you ignored a safe word.” Long fingers tapped irritably against the beer bottle. “Taking care of someone, loving someone who finds peace in regressing isn’t a crime. Neither is finding your own peace in the process. What the hell’s been going on for you to doubt yourself like this?”

  The almost empty bottle in his own hand was no longer there. Baffled, Atticus glanced down at his unoccupied palm, then at the wall as the sound of glass shattering drew his attention.

  Fuck. Now he had to clean up.

  “Hmm. Something’s got you all riled up.”

  Atticus pinched the bridge of his nose. “King of stating the obvious today, aren’t you, Thane? Fine. I fucked up and told Alicia about tonight. You’re not the only one who insists on honesty, and I couldn’t lie to her, not when we both want to take this relationship further.” Pinching didn’t help the ugly stress headache building behind his eyes, or the rising frustration. “The problem is, what do I do now? Do I go to Avalon and do the scene while Alicia
stays here and tortures herself imagining me having sex with Archie? Or do I become the asshole who breaks his promise to his best friends?”

  “It is quite the predicament, I must admit.” Thane scratched his jaw through his neatly trimmed beard, looking thoughtful. Then his eyes flicked toward the hallway and glowed. “Well, finally. There’s my sugar.”

  Heels tapped rapidly on the floor as Connie entered the kitchen, and Atticus turned just in time to take a small but mighty fist to the underside of his jaw. Swearing, he bared his teeth and barely refrained from hauling the Domme off her feet and over the nearest flat surface.

  “What the fuck?” he snarled.

  Connie didn’t back down. The Mistress was in full kick-ass mode, and her gray eyes were hot enough to melt a man down to the bones. Squaring up to him, she thrust her shoulders back and straightened to her full height—which was still comically short compared to him—before jabbing her index finger into his chest sharply. “I expected better from you.”

  Att glanced at Thane, silently asking permission—and getting it. Her next jab was her last. His fingers wrapped around her wrists and yanked her arms above her head, pulling her onto her tiptoes. “If you’re this angry, then you know. That doesn’t give you the right to suckerpunch me.”

  “I’ll do more than suckerpunch you if you don’t fix this. What possessed you to tell her, Atticus? She practically laid her heart at your feet and told you to take it, then you decide to shatter her into confetti-sized pieces by telling her you’re spending the night sleeping with another woman.” Connie didn’t struggle, but her glare was surprisingly cutting.

  “Atticus and I were just discussing this, sugar. Any suggestions?”

  “Fix it.” She twisted her wrists out of Att’s grasp as he lowered her back down. “Alicia’s spent the last hour crying her eyes out over this. If you’re serious about being her Daddy, then you’ll get your act together and make this right.” She huffed loudly and skirted past Thane, running her hand down his arm in passing, then stomped toward the refrigerator—well, stomped as well as her heels allowed.

  “Is she—”

  “Exhausted? Sick with worry? Yeah. She wants her juice, and she needs a nap. Apparently, that’s her new favorite routine.” Connie tossed her doe-hide locks over her shoulder as she snatched the carton.

  Att moved to the cupboard and took down two glasses from the top shelf. “Will she talk to me?”

  “I doubt it. Alicia’s used more words and formed more sentences than I’ve ever gotten out of her before. Between her period hormones and crying over you, she’s wiped out.” Calmer now, Connie poured the juice, returned the carton to the fridge. “I love you, Att, but this is the stupidest thing I’ve known you to do. Jasper won’t hold you to the scene. Neither him nor Archie would want you to jeopardize the potential you have here.”

  Guilt was a familiar foe, one he butted heads with on a regular basis. This time, the emotion had the upper hand. He rubbed the heel of his hand over the ache in his sternum, aware that his actions had put Alicia in a much worse position. Trying to do the right thing was a bitch sometimes.

  Connie picked the glasses up and gave him a sad smile. “You’re one of the best men I know, Att, but my advice is to make a choice. Do you want to be the guy subs flock to at Avalon for casual sex, and be the third wheel when the opportunity strikes? Or do you want someone to love, a woman who can be exactly what you’ve wished for, and who needs the kind of love you give?”

  He watched her flounce away with the drinks, trusting her to take care of his princess. When she laid it out like that, it no longer became a question of honoring a promise or testing his loyalty. They were short-term issues, and he needed to look at the big picture. His future, Alicia’s, and how they would twine together or fall apart.

  “If it helps,” Thane murmured, “Jasper calls Con half a dozen times a day, asking if she’s sure Anarchy is ready for a scene of this magnitude. Postponing it might work out best for all involved.”

  “Fuck it. Alicia’s the goal. She’s the dream. Jasper has his miracle, and I want mine. I’ve waited long enough to find her, I’m not letting this screw everything up before it even takes off.” He reached into his pocket for his phone and didn’t hesitate to put the call through. As it rang, he walked to the storage cupboard tucked into the end of the cabinets and pulled out a broom.

  “Atticus.” Jasper finally picked up.

  “Hey, J. Have you told Archie anything about tonight yet?”

  “Not yet, no. Are you okay? You sound weird.”

  “Yeah, I’m good.” I’m about to be much better. “Look, I know this is short notice, but I need to postpone it. Indefinitely. I know I promised I’d be involved, but I can’t do it if it means causing Alicia distress. There’s something between us, potentially great, and I just—”

  “I knew it!” Jasper crowed in delight. “The Master has finally fallen!”

  Oh really? Att pulled the phone away from his ear and stared at it as though he could scorch Jasper with the incredulity of his glare. His eyes narrowed at Thane as his friend laughed. He switched it onto speakerphone. “I gather this isn’t a surprise?”

  “I’ve been waiting all week for this call, Att. I’ve had my suspicions—you’ve been noticeably absent from the club since the day you picked Alicia up—but you confirmed them when we met you at the hospital yesterday. Thought you might back out then, but you’re loyal to a fault.”

  Thane stood, setting his bottle down, and hobbled over to take the broom from Atticus’ hand. With a cocky salute, the former soldier began clearing up the shattered glass from Atticus’ fit of temper.

  “You don’t have to do that, Thane,” Att muttered.

  “I’m earning my beer. Besides, if I do a good job, my Mistress will give me one hell of a reward later.” Thane winked suggestively. The longer the Switch hung around at Avalon, the more his personality emerged. As a Dom, he was intimidating, but with Connie as his Domme, the guy was a fucking comedian, keeping her on her toes.

  “Thane’s there? Oh man, that means you drafted Connie in.” Jasper cleared his throat. “How did the reunion go?”

  “Entirely unplanned. We had a…feminine products crisis. Connie and Thane kindly brought supplies. Seeing Alicia for the first time in a few months, especially with her physical appearance being dramatically different…well, it’s not an easy thing to process.” Atticus glared at Thane. “She didn’t see the broken bottle. She’d have said something.”

  “Oh, she saw it. She’s just mad enough to ignore it rather than dig into your head.”

  “She’ll forgive me—she can’t stay mad forever.”

  Thane snorted, dragging the broom over the tiles and gathering the worst of the wet mess into a pile. “Dude, she fucking suckerpunched you. In the face. I don’t think I’ve ever seen her exhibit violence without having some form of impact play toy in her hand.”

  “Connie suckerpunched you? Jesus, Att, what did you do?”

  Atticus rubbed a fingertip between his eyebrows, hard. It wouldn’t dispel the tension growing there, but it distracted him from imagining taking his friends apart, limb by limb. “Keep out of it, Jasper.”

  The sadist laughed. “The devil and his hounds couldn’t stop me now. This is absolutely delicious. The biggest Master in Avalon felled by a Domme half his size. You know this is going to be documented in history, right? Maybe on the club calendar, immortalized in bronze.”

  “Firstly, she did not fell me, asshole. She managed to get a pesky tap in on my jaw.” Atticus wiggled the appendage, silently admitting it had been a bit more than just a tap. “My beard probably did more damage to her hand than she did to my face. Secondly, if you still want your job come Monday morning, and more importantly, if you’d like to keep breathing, this goes no further.”

  “Hmmm. What do you think, Thane? Can we keep quiet about this?”

  Thane leaned on the broom, a mischievous gleam in his eyes. “I don’t know, Jasper,
I think we should set a price on our silence. Say, Atticus coming to Avalon for a drink and to see his friends before they forget his face.”

  “You do realize you’re close enough for me to punch?” Atticus growled, advancing forward a step. “The sadist might not be within reach, but I’ll catch up with him. You, however, are in a very precarious position.”

  “Special Forces,” Thane reminded him, running his tongue around his teeth. “Plus, I’m armed, and if you make me cry, Connie’s right down the hall.” His laugh was deep and rolling. “Not that you could, mind you. My pain threshold is considerable, but the threat of the Mistress should be a deterrent all of its own.”

  “Boy, I’ve had your Mistress under me. Trust me, she isn’t a threat.”

  For an instant, Thane’s eyes darkened dangerously, turning amber into something incredibly formidable. Even as Atticus wondered if that had been a little too far below the belt, Thane’s expression resumed its mischievousness. “Not that I appreciate the reminder, but I’ll let it slide. Being suckerpunched once today is enough for anyone.”

  “Asshole.”

  “Now, now, gentleman, don’t start slapping at each other.” The glee in Jasper’s voice was evident. “Wait until I can be there to record it.”

  “For fuck’s sake, are the pair of you teenagers?” He swore they were worse than Alicia during one of her tantrums. “Back to the adult conversation. I’m sorry for the short notice, Jasper. If you’re willing to look at other candidates, I’d ask Liam or Loki. Archie might not get the same kick out of the scene with Liam—she’s too friendly with him, and he’s a compassionate Dom.”

  “Oh, I don’t know about that,” Thane interrupted, rubbing his throat. “He has a primal side that would surprise you.”

  “Really? He’s always been an affable kind of guy.”