Beyond the Stars

by C. S. Wilde

  I nod, not knowing what to say.

  Giving birth is a concept that was never meant for me. Even as a whisar, I’d never considered procreating. I wanted to be a researcher, to dedicate my existence to knowledge and science, not enlarging the species.

  When my mind was transferred irrevocably to my sterile human vessel, I assumed that the decision had been made for me.

  James was fine with this. “After all we’ve been through,” he told me then. “It’d be really crappy if I left you because you can’t have babies. Besides, we have time, and if we really want to, we can always adopt.”

  I didn’t tell him that I wasn’t sure if I wanted children at all, that I hadn’t really thought about it. Back then, I assumed we had time. I figured the subject would come eventually, but for those wonderful first months, I wanted to enjoy my new life with my mate.

  And now… I put a hand over my straight belly, which will become plump with each passing month.

  By the dimensions, I’ll be a terrible mother.

  Whisars don’t have a proper childhood, our parents are nothing but cold walls of flesh. Genetic diversity, that’s the only reason we have children. Propagate the species. There’s no love in it, only duty.

  My child will hate me.

  No. I’m not a normal whisar, I will be different. Besides, I have faded memories of my parents, those strange impressions of Mother cradling me and Father swiveling me around. A bundle of lost memories in my mind tells me that maybe, just maybe, I’ve seen what it’s like to love a child.

  And still, a bitter feeling infests my chest. This baby will come too soon. James and I haven’t lived with each other properly. A little over six months ago, my mate had no idea of who I truly was. We haven’t travelled around the Earth, made love under the stars, and we haven’t unfolded our feelings, layer after layer. Love hit us the way a lightning bolt hits the ground, unexpected and uncontrollably, and it burned like fire over dry wood.

  It still does, but now we were supposed to let it settle, to get used to it as we explored one another.

  Mother… I’ll be a mother, through no choice of my own.

  As quick as a last breath, the thought to end it comes to me, but as soon as it does, I know I can’t go through with it. This little light in my stomach, this inconvenient, giddy little light, is a part of me and James. I love my mate, so how could I not love and dedicate myself to a creature that’s half his?

  James is gaping at me, barely a breath out of his open lips. He must be close to having an asthma attack.

  I wonder what he’s feeling right now, but I don’t want to venture in his mind, not in a moment like this.

  “It’s so soon,” he mutters, not looking anywhere in particular.

  “I know.” Tears pile up in the bottom of my throat. “What do you want to do?”

  He shakes his head. “There’s nothing we can do. We have no choice.”

  There would be one, the same choice that flashed in my mind earlier. Did it flash in his too? My heart stops and shrinks at the mere possibility that he wouldn’t want to do this with me.

  “I’m not ready,” he mutters, still lost in his own thoughts. “I’ll be such a crappy dad… I’m only twenty-five!” He runs a hand through his full, curly hair.

  I take his hand and press it against my chest, tears accumulating in the edges of my eyes. “I’m scared too.”

  He watches me for a moment, his lips half open. Then he looks down at my stomach and his expression softens. “I can learn. I will learn.” He wraps a hand on the side of my neck, bringing me closer to him. He leans his forehead on mine. “We can do this, Mir.”

  “We can.”

  A smile blooms on my face before James kisses me, his lips slightly cracked and sharp against mine, and still, it’s a smooth kiss, like all his kisses. Beneath his touch I melt. I missed his warmth, his musky scent, the feel of his stubble against my skin, his tongue dancing with mine… by the dimensions, I missed all of him.

  After a while that seems too short, our lips part, but the feeling of him lingers in me. The little golden light in my belly jumps around, as if the part of it that’s made of James recognizes the proximity of the source.

  “We’re having a baby,” his voice fails as he sniffs the curve of my neck.

  “Vessels are supposed to be sterile,” Chuck says, his attention locked on the humanoid lizard that now sits on the rocky bench.

  Werhn-za’har chuckles. “Who are you to tell, esteemed disciple? A long time ago, you changed your vessel to create an offspring. It’s how you have that great-granddaughter of yours,” Werhn-za’har says matter-of-factly. “I merely did the same to Miri’et-eh, without her knowledge, granted, but if I had told her, she’d never willingly take part in my experiment.”

  It hits me like a bucket of cold water: the experiment. My changes, they’re happening because of this life within me. I’m not the interdimensional being.

  My offspring is.

  It might be in danger before it’s even born. The developed civilizations would do anything to reach the dimensions, anything to prove their existence.

  Anything.

  Instinctively, my hand flies to my stomach, protecting the life pulsing in me.

  Werhn-za’har stands and walks in my direction, but James steps between us, the silent message clear: stay away.

  In his reptilian form, Werhn-za’har is much taller than James, but he must sense the sheer power flowing from my mate, because he halts, then raises his hands in an act of surrender. He looks down at me. “Your body, Miri’et-eh, is only fifteen percent human. You may look like them, but you’re technically a whisar in human form.”

  I snort loudly. “That can’t be. If I were eighty-five percent whisar, I wouldn’t look like this.” I pinch the skin on my arm.

  “And yet, here you stand.” A look of utter superiority flows from him. “Human DNA completes whisar DNA in ways unprecedented. Take you, Miri’et-eh, a whisar to all accounts, and your mate, a full human. The two strings had an enormous chance of forming the greatest creature that has ever lived.” Werhn-za’har looks down to Chuck, who now stands by James’ side. “How long since inception?”

  “Twelve weeks.”

  “So young and already so powerful...” Werhn-za’har clasps his hands behind his back and smiles to himself. “Making Miri’et-eh a practical whisar did not guarantee the perfect conversion of genes whenever she copulated with her human mate. I suppose luck played a small part in the process.”

  “What if the child doesn’t look human?” Zed asks from the back of the cave, his tone frail and scared. “Considering Miriam’s genes…”

  “Her genes make her look specifically human,” Werhn-za’har says. “So will the child’s, though I wouldn’t mind testing further combinations, all those wonderful might-be deformities. As an experiment, of course.”

  “You fucking asshole,” James growls, a vein on the side of his neck popping.

  Werhn-za’har scoffs. “You should be thanking me, human. I will get the creature I’ve always dreamed of, one that will pierce the very fabric of space and time, and you will get a pretty little family.” He spits out the last word with disdain.

  I can swear my mate bends over slightly, as if some invisible force has hit him in the stomach. Werhn-za’har’s right. We got a family out of this, one we’d never have if Werhn-za’har hadn’t manipulated my body.

  “You did it without our consent,” I remind him. “We never wanted this.”

  “What does it matter now?” He waves my argument away, and I have to control myself not to throw him off this mountain. “What you’re carrying in that womb of yours is so precious that I gladly went to exile for it. Can you fathom that?” His expression turns grim. “If the prime minister or any of the developed civilizations discovers what I’ve done, they’ll come after my creation.”

  Something in my head snaps. “This isn’t your creation,” I bark, wrapping my hands over my belly. “It’s in my womb
, it’s my child, and you’ll never see it in your pitiful life!”

  Chuck turns around to face me. “Not ‘it’, dear. You’re expecting a girl.”

  My heart stops for a moment. I’m having a girl, a female, like me.

  Werhn-za’har raises his hands again. “I can keep the child safe, you only need to hand it to me once it reaches pre-adolescence.”

  James laughs. “Are you delusional?” He raises a finger that pokes Werhn-za’har’s frail sternum. “You’ll stay away from my daughter, or I will rip your heart out of your freaking chest.” This he says with an eager grin.

  Hearing such a violent statement from my husband, a self-entitled nerd who would never harm a fly, scares me. I’d kill Werhn-za’har before I allowed him to take my daughter, but I wouldn’t rejoice in ripping his heart out. I wonder if the abilities I gave James changed his psyche somehow.

  Chuck glances at me quickly, his brow creased with worry, and I know he just asked himself the same question.

  He sighs deeply before turning to Werhn-za’har. “I can send you reports from time to time.”

  James and I glare at Chuck as if he betrayed us, and he’s quick to explain. “We might need Werhn-za’har’s help while the baby is growing up. I for one, have no experience in raising an interdimensional child. Do any of you?”

  No, of course not. But neither does Werhn-za’har.

  “He knows the science behind your child’s creation,” Chuck says. “As much as it pains me to admit it, he could be of help.”

  Allowing Werhn-za’har to have any contact with my daughter feels wrong, though.

  James glances at me, and then at Chuck. “You can ask for his help only if it’s an emergency. And he can’t have any contact with our child.”

  “Ludicrous!” Werhn-za’har’s yellow eyes shine, and his nostrils puff as he surveys the cave. For a moment, I get the impression that he’s considering fighting us all and then taking me with him. When he focuses on James and Chuck, he seems to give up on that thought, because his shoulders slump and he sighs heavily. “I do not seem to have much choice in the matter.”

  “Be grateful, old friend,” Chuck says, one red eyebrow raised at Werhn-za’har. “The alternative was eliminating you.”

  James walks closer to me, his eyes dark, his lips pressed into a line. He takes my hand and puts it close to his heart. “What if our baby disappears, Mir? She’s the true interdimensional being, what if we lose her like we almost lost you?”

  “Have you listened to nothing I’ve said?” Werhn-za’har shouts from behind. “That child will have unlimited power, you fool. It’s written in her DNA, not Miriam’s. My creation will eventually adapt to it because it’s an inherent part of her. Your mate, however, should not play with such powers so easily.”

  James flies up, boosted by a telekinetic power that almost shoots him against the cave’s skylight. When he comes down, swift like a lightning bolt, he smacks a punch enhanced by telekinesis right into Werhn-za’har’s face, giving him no time to raise a shield. The strike sends the huge reptilian swiveling back and then falling to the ground, crouching in a pile of thin, long limbs.

  “Not your creation!” James bellows. “My child will lead a life of secrecy at best, and persecution at worst!” Spit accumulates at the corner of his mouth, his eyes maddeningly wide. “We’ll have to figure out how to raise her and keep her off the whisar radar. For all I know, you doomed her the moment you…” his voice fails, his face red and puffy.

  I walk closer to him and lay a hand on his shoulder. “I gave you these abilities so you can defend her. I see it now.” I kiss his stubbly cheek. “Besides, I’m not exactly a damsel in distress.”

  “Likewise,” Chuck adds with a grin. “Under the right magnetic field, that is.”

  “Me too,” Zed says, walking closer.

  Sol’ut-eh nods from her end of the cave, silently including herself to the list of beings who will defend my daughter at all costs. She then looks at her non-existent nails, as if our entire exchange has been somewhat boring to her. “James and Miriam will take us back to our ship. As soon as I step on my base, I’m coming for Werhn-za’har.” She turns to Chuck. “I’m sorry, brother, but this is the best I can do. I promise not to kill him.” She grins maliciously. “Though I’ll have fun trying.”

  Still recovering from James’ attack, Werhn-za’har trembles. “Ah’rbal-ack-to, you can’t possibly allow—”

  Chuck shrugs. “Sol’ut-eh can do whatever she pleases. I do not need you unharmed, I simply need you alive.”

  “I’ll let you guys work out the details.” James grabs my hand and begins pulling me out of the cave.

  “But—”

  He pulls me hurriedly, without asking for permission, so I stop, forcing my stand. “James, wait.”

  He grabs me by the waist and boosts through the darkness. I’ve never seen him like this. I force my telekinesis against his, but it slams against a mind-wall that might as well be made of concrete, my attempts feeble against his sheer determination.

  By the dimensions, what have I turned him into?

  Just before we reach the entrance, he slows down and sets me on my feet.

  His breathing is frantic, his eyes glistening. “The prime minister will find out. We can’t keep her a secret all her life.”

  I cup his prickly cheeks and slowly, his hushed breaths start calming. “Maybe. But I do know that if he does, we’ll be ready.”

  Despite all that has happened, a sudden giddiness takes over me.

  Life. I’m harboring life.

  Particles, always, but what truly matters is the aggregation of particles. That’s where life is, in the combinations, in the puzzles.

  “Mir, I won’t let anyone hurt you or our baby, no matter the cost.” The fierceness in his eyes, the cold determination… I understand it now.

  The powers I gave him did not change who he is. Our circumstances did.

  James used to be the personification of peace. A nerd who only fought alien threats within the videogames he played. But for our daughter, he’ll become a weapon.

  We both will.

  Thanks for Reading!

  Book 3 of the Dimensions series will be coming to you in November 2017!

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  Acknowledgments

  Thanks to Mihai and Debbie for your unyielding and timely support.

  Thanks to Christina and Tamara, for making this book the best it could be.

  Last but not least, thank you for reading. Without you, this book is just a bunch of words scrambled on a page.

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  About the Author

  C. S. Wilde wrote her first Fantasy novel when she was eight. That book was absolutely terrible, but her mother told her it was awesome, so she kept writing.

  Now a grown up (though many will beg to differ), C. S. Wilde writes about fantastic worlds, love stories larger than life and epic battles.

  A Rio de Janeiro native, she currently spends her days in Switzerland.

  She also, quite obviously, sucks at writing an author bio. She finds it awkward that she must write this in the third person and hopes you won’t notice.

  For up to date promotions and release dates of upcoming books, sign up for the latest news at www.cswilde.com. You can also connect on twitter via @thatcswilde or on facebook at C.S. Wilde.

  Also by C.S. Wilde

  THE DIMENSIONS SERIES:

  BOOK 1: FROM THE STARS

  BOOK 2: BEYOND THE STARS

  BOOK 3: ACROSS THE STARS - coming soon

  THE DIMENSIONS SERIES BOXSET - coming soon

  PARANOR
MAL ROMANCE STANDALONE:

  A COURTROOM OF ASHES

  URBAN FANTASY STANDALONE:

  SWORD WITCH