Pursuit of Happiness

by Carsen Taite

  A moment later, he pushed open another door, and when they stepped outside, they were standing in a parking garage. Stevie heard a car engine come to life and spotted Meredith’s face through the open window of an approaching limousine. She watched, transfixed, as the car drew closer, unable to take her eyes off Meredith, who looked more beautiful than ever. Until this moment, she hadn’t truly realized how much she’d missed their connection, and when the car stopped in front of her, she didn’t wait for an invitation before walking toward it.

  “Come inside?” Meredith asked.

  Stevie heard the trepidation in her voice, and she met it with definitive clarity. “Absolutely.”

  She climbed into the back of the limo and took a seat directly across from Meredith, facing the front of the car. The privacy shield was up, and she pointed toward it, looking for something to break the time and distance barrier between them. “Erica still driving you around?”

  “I wish. I’m a hostage to Secret Service procedures. Bulletproof cars, constant surveillance, and only their drivers. She’s working for my parents for a while until we find out which direction my life is headed. I didn’t realize how much I’d miss her.” Meredith gazed at the tinted window. “I didn’t realize how much I’d miss you either.”

  “I miss you too.” The words spilled out before Stevie could stop them. She’d had no time to prepare for this encounter, to steel her emotions against the onslaught of hope that things could be different between them. “This is a surprise.”

  “Seeing me here or missing me?”

  Meredith’s smile was teasing, playful, and Stevie couldn’t help but grin in return. “Both?”

  “I was getting antsy in New York. I’m pretty sure I’m not getting off on the right foot with my Secret Service detail by dragging them back and forth, but if I win, it’s my last day of freedom for the next four years, and if I lose, well, then they can move on.”

  “Eight years.”

  “Excuse me?”

  “When you win, you’ll be on the hook for eight years, because unless you mess things up, you’re definitely a two-term president. Count on it.”

  Meredith reached for her hand, and Stevie held on tight. “I heard it was your digging that unearthed the connection between Bosley and the smear campaign against me and my family.”

  Stevie shrugged, but she didn’t let go. “My client did all the work. He thinks you’re a nice lady.”

  “Well, that’s one person who does.”

  “He’s not the only one. Everyone’s predicting a landslide tonight.”

  “I’m not talking about the election.”

  Stevie leaned forward and took both of Meredith’s hands in hers. “You are a nice lady. You’re a wonderful, kind, generous person who’s given her entire life to public service. You deserve all the success you have coming to you, and what you’ve accomplished over the past year is incredible.”

  Meredith raised a hand and cupped Stevie’s cheek. “Thank you for saying those things, but I have to say that I’m not entirely sure the sacrifice was worth it. It was easier when we were apart. I could tell myself the breakup was for the best. That you would be better off without my chaos in your life, and I’d be able to focus without you around. I don’t think that’s true anymore.”

  Stevie took a deep breath. Meredith’s words tore at her heart. She wanted to tell her they should give it another shot, but while Meredith might have had an epiphany about how her choices affected Stevie’s life, nothing had really changed. If Meredith won tonight, the tumult had only just begun. Stevie tried to imagine how a future would look, dating the president of the United States, but the details were a blur. She couldn’t make it out of Senator Mitchell’s New York apartment without a clandestine mission; what hoops would she have to jump through to go on a simple date with President Mitchell?

  And it wasn’t just her. When Meredith won the election, her life would become exponentially more complicated. Her Secret Service detail would triple in size and be with her for the rest of her life, seriously curtailing her privacy. She’d be on call 24/7, having to be ready to handle a world crisis with a moment’s notice. She’d have no time for the distractions of dating even if they could find their way past all the complications. “The chaos isn’t your fault. It just comes with the job, and—don’t take this the wrong way—but you kind of thrive on it, and that’s not a bad thing for someone about to be president.” Stevie paused, searching for words. She’d argued her cases for her clients dozens of times, zealously advocating for whatever they needed, but in this moment, with her own future in the balance, she didn’t have the heart to ask for more from Meredith, knowing it might ultimately tear them apart. “If we’d met another time, under different circumstances—”

  Meredith didn’t wait for her to finish, pulling her into a kiss. A deep, soul-searching kiss, and Stevie surrendered to it, unable to deny that while circumstances might be against them, their connection was undeniable.

  The knocking noise was light at first, the kind you could ignore, but it grew more insistent, and Stevie, realizing someone was at the car window, murmured against Meredith’s lips. “Should you get that?”

  Meredith groaned and kissed her again, softer, lighter this time, before pressing the button to lower the window. Gordon was standing on the other side, pointing at his watch. “Way past five minutes,” he said. Meredith answered him by pushing the button to raise the window.

  Stevie watched the exchange, certain it was a microcosm of Meredith’s personal life for the next four to eight years, and she knew in her heart it was time for her to go. She placed her hand on the door handle, but Meredith stopped her.

  “Wait.”

  “You need to get to New York.”

  “I know.”

  Stevie wanted to kiss her again, one last time, but she wasn’t sure she could walk away if she did. She had to stay strong because this could never work, and while she wished she’d known that all along, she didn’t regret one moment of her time with Meredith. The kiss they’d just shared would be the memory she’d hold on to. She opened the door. “You’re going to be great at this,” she said. Not waiting for an answer, she stepped out of the car and walked away, wishing she had as much confidence in her own ability to adjust to a life without Meredith.

  Chapter Twenty-two

  Inauguration Day

  “If you keep pacing, you’re going to wear out the floor.”

  Meredith paused and smiled at Addison who’d been standing off to the side, shaking her head. “I seriously doubt it. We’re standing on marble.” She resumed her pacing. “Are you telling me my nerves aren’t justified?”

  They were standing in the rotunda at the Capitol, and the inauguration ceremony was about to begin. Her family and friends were seated on the balcony, and people had been lining up in the plaza to get in since the night before to get a good seat or place to stand. Every last moment of this day had been choreographed in fine detail, and the Park Service was reporting a record crowd. All she had to do was place her hand on her leather-bound copy of the Constitution, repeat after Addison, and then she’d officially be the first woman president of the United States. Nothing to it. “Oh, wait, you’ve done this before. This must be old hat to you.”

  “Once, and I was the swearer, not the swearee,” Addison said. “Or was it the other way around?” She shrugged. “All I know is I have no idea how you’re feeling right now, but I can promise you two things.”

  “Spill.”

  “First, everyone who has stepped out onto that dais to take the oath is as nervous as you. Trust me, Garrett was jittery as hell, and it was his second time.”

  “And the second thing?”

  “You’re going to be the best damn president in our lifetime. I have absolutely no doubt.”

  Meredith grinned. “Remember that when you think about ruling against my administration on a future case.”

  Addison returned the grin. “Good presidents know about the balan
ce of power.”

  “Touché. Not to worry. I wouldn’t take advantage of our friendship.”

  “I know. It’s kind of an unusual situation. President and chief justice of the United States as best friends. I anticipate some people will try to manufacture conflict about it.”

  “True, but we’ll work it out,” Meredith said, confident in her assessment.

  “Speaking of working it out, have you talked to Stevie lately?”

  “You’re going to need to work on being a little more subtle. I guess Julia told you I put her on the list for today.”

  “She may have mentioned something about how you asked her to send Stevie an engraved invitation to the inauguration ceremony and the balls.”

  “Do you guys share everything?”

  “Most things. When that balance of power thing isn’t in the way.”

  “And it works?”

  “Anything can work if you want it to badly enough. Is it ideal for me to be married to the president’s chief of staff? No, but I’m in love with Julia, and when you feel that way about someone, you don’t let anything get in the way.”

  “Erica checked the crowd on the balcony. Stevie didn’t show.”

  “Maybe an engraved invitation to a party attended by a couple million of your closet friends wasn’t the best way to let her know you’re in love with her.”

  Addison’s words hit her like a strong wind, and Meredith took a step back to assess the change in atmosphere. Was she in love with Stevie? She wasn’t sure, but if she was it would explain her unrelenting and inexplicable despondency since election night, and her inability to get Stevie out of her mind. “I’ve botched this from the get-go. What am I going to do?”

  Addison linked arms with her and led her toward the balcony. She swept her hand out across the open space and said, “Today, you’re going to walk out there in front of all these people who love and support you, take the oath of office, and become president of the most powerful country in the world. You’re going to celebrate with your friends and family. You’re going to be the belle of ten, count ’em, ten inaugural balls. And tomorrow, your first order of business is to reach out to Stevie. No subtle gestures, no crowds of people. You’ll have the resources of the entire government at your disposal. Surely, you can figure out a way to get a girl alone and tell her how you feel.”

  Meredith felt the weight of her worry fall away as she took in Addison’s advice, and for the first time in her life she thought she actually could have it all. All she had to do was convince Stevie they could have it all together. First thing tomorrow, she would make it her mission to win Stevie back, but right now, she had an oath to take.

  “I do solemnly swear that I will faithfully execute the Office of President of the United States…”

  * * *

  “…and will to the best of my ability, preserve, protect and defend the Constitution of the United States.”

  Stevie applauded with the rest of her coworkers as they watched Meredith take her oath on the balcony of the Capitol. It seemed surreal to think Meredith was less than a mile away. She might as well be in outer space. As Meredith walked to the podium to deliver her inauguration address, Stevie turned away to head back to her office. She’d felt compelled to watch Meredith take the oath—it was a historic moment—but she couldn’t handle watching her for an extended length of time without feeling a vast emptiness inside.

  Hannah walked alongside her. “You could be there, right now.”

  “It’s too late. Besides, I threw the invitation away.”

  “No, you didn’t.” Hannah looked slightly sheepish when Stevie stared her down. “I may have spotted it when I was picking the Brewer file up off your desk earlier.” She raised her hands. “Don’t be mad. I’m just saying that you could still go if you wanted.”

  Stevie walked into her office and fished the invitation from underneath the files on her desk. The beautifully engraved card promised her full VIP access to all the Inauguration Day festivities and admission to the balls scheduled for that evening. At the bottom of the card, in flowing fountain pen script were the words, I’d love to see you. M. She held up the card. “Did you read it?”

  “Maybe.” Hannah hung her head. “Okay, I devoured it. She invited you to everything. That pass gets you into all ten inaugural balls. Hasn’t it occurred to you that she really wants to see you?”

  “It has.”

  “Do you want to see her?”

  Stevie considered the question. “Seeing” Meredith was easy these days. Images of her were everywhere from the television to newspapers to the vendors on the streets hawking T-shirts emblazoned with her picture. “I’m not going to see her if I go. I mean not really. I’d be better off watching her on television.”

  “Way to avoid the question, counselor. Do you want to see her? In person?” Hannah waved the invite in the air. “Because I’m thinking there aren’t a lot of these golden tickets handed out, especially not ones with personal inscriptions, which tells me she’d like to see you.”

  Hannah was crazy, but maybe she was also right. “I can’t go alone.”

  “Yes, you can.”

  “I don’t have anything to wear.”

  “Are you seriously saying that to me?” Hannah rolled her index finger. “Spin for me.”

  Stevie narrowed her eyes but obeyed.

  “Okay, you can turn back around. I have the perfect outfit for you.”

  * * *

  Hours later, Stevie stepped out of the cab and glanced around. She’d chosen the Commander-in-Chief Ball for her grand gesture. It was being held at the National Building Museum where Addison and Julia had gotten married, and Stevie thought a familiar setting would bolster her courage. But now that she was here, she was having second thoughts about coming at all. Everywhere she looked she saw tuxes, ball gowns, and limousines. She looked up the steps that led to the building, and then down at her dress, a borrowed De La Renta, and she felt like Cinderella, faking it for a few hours until her ball gown turned to tatters and she ran off with only one shoe. At least the last time she’d been here, she’d been with Princess Charming. This time Meredith would be surrounded by all her supporters. She’d be celebrating her victory, as she should, and she would have no time to talk, let alone intimately. Stevie cursed Hannah for talking her into this.

  I’d love to see you.

  Stevie replayed the words in her head, over and over, hoping the message was more than a simple courtesy.

  “Stevie?”

  She started at the sound of her name and looked up to see Colonel Zoey Granger and Rook Daniels walking toward her. They looked dashing, Zoey in her dress blues and Rook in a sleek black tux with white tie. Of course they’d be at this ball that honored members of the military, and Stevie was relieved to see familiar faces. “Hi,” she said. “I was just…” She wasn’t sure how to finish the sentence. “Going to run away” didn’t seem like something she should say out loud. Thankfully, Zoey took charge.

  “Are you here by yourself? Join us.” Zoey motioned for her to walk with them.

  Relieved to have the decision made for her, Stevie followed them up the steps of the building, but she was completely unprepared for the spectacle inside. The wedding had been large by any scale, but even so, it had not taken up the entire space. Tonight, flags were draped from all the balconies, and the main floor was packed, wall-to-wall with soldiers in uniform raising glasses of champagne and spontaneously cheering. In the front of the room, where Addison and Julia had tied the knot, there was a dance floor, with the Marine Corps Band on one side and an elevated stage on the other. Stevie squinted at the singer on stage. “Is that Janelle Monáe?”

  “It is indeed,” Rook said. “The president is a big fan.”

  Stevie felt a jolt at the words, “the president.” Even though she knew that’s what Meredith was now, hearing one of her friends call her that brought home the reality full force, and she started to lose her nerve. Scrambling to think of a way to duck ou
t, she said, “I’m going to find the rest room.”

  But before she could step away, the music stopped and the crowd stilled. Out of the silence came a loud voice announcing, “Ladies and gentlemen, presenting the President of the United States,” followed by the familiar strains of “Hail to the Chief.” Like the rest of the crowd, she stood transfixed as Meredith entered the room, alternately shaking hands and waving to the crowd. She was gorgeous in an off the shoulder red ball gown, and Stevie was paralyzed with desire as she watched Meredith make her way through the throng of admirers.

  “She looks great, don’t you think?”

  Stevie reluctantly pulled her gaze away from Meredith to turn around. Addison was the one who had spoken, and she was standing with her arm around Julia, next to Rook and Zoey. “She is absolutely stunning,” Stevie said before she could censor her response into something a bit more reserved. She could feel the smile stretch across her face and she let the happiness of seeing Meredith in person flood her with courage. To hell with it. She wasn’t going to duck out. She was going to stand here with Meredith’s friends, certain she would stop to greet them, and tell Meredith she’d come here for her, convince her to give them a second chance.

  Seconds later, Meredith was standing in front of them, smiling, and her gaze was a laser beam, tracking only her. Stevie stood back as each of Meredith’s friends hugged and congratulated her, knowing she would have her turn, and willing to wait for what she now knew without a doubt she wanted. When Meredith stepped close, Stevie pulled her into an embrace.

  “I’m so glad you came,” Meredith whispered in her ear. “I was afraid you wouldn’t.”

  “I couldn’t stay away.” Stevie inhaled the scent of her, drinking in the reality of Meredith in her arms and vowing not to let go. “I’m sorry I ever left.”