Possessed by Lies (Truth or Lies Book 5)

by Ella Miles

  POSSESSED BY LIES

  TRUTH OR LIES BOOK 5

  ELLA MILES

  Copyright © 2019 by Ella Miles

  EllaMiles.com

  Ella@ellamiles.com

  Cover design © Arijana Karčić, Cover It! Designs

  All rights reserved.

  No part of this book may be reproduced in any form or by any electronic or mechanical means, including information storage and retrieval systems, without written permission from the author, except for the use of brief quotations in a book review.

  CONTENTS

  Free Books

  Truth or Lies Series

  Prologue

  1. Enzo

  2. Kai

  3. Enzo

  4. Kai

  5. Enzo

  6. Kai

  7. Enzo

  8. Kai

  9. Enzo

  10. Kai

  11. Enzo

  12. Kai

  13. Enzo

  14. Kai

  15. Enzo

  16. Kai

  17. Enzo

  18. Kai

  19. Enzo

  20. Kai

  21. Enzo

  22. Kai

  23. Enzo

  24. Kai

  25. Enzo

  26. Kai

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  Also by Ella Miles

  About the Author

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  TRUTH OR LIES SERIES

  Lured by Lies #0.5

  Taken by Lies #1

  Betrayed by Truths #2

  Trapped by Lies #3

  Stolen by Truths #4

  Possessed by Lies #5

  Consumed by Truths #6

  PROLOGUE

  ENZO

  THE RAIN POURS all around me. The wind whips against my face. And my yacht rocks, high then low, as the water creates hurricane size swells.

  But I grip the railing unmoving—nothing can push me anymore.

  Not the sea.

  Not the wind.

  And sure as hell not the rain.

  Because today, I lost everything, and no act of nature is going to be able to move me—I need revenge, for everything. For every loss, I need an equal act of vengeance. I need a loss for a loss.

  But even that’s not enough to bring back what I lost. Because I lost everything…

  It started with my mother, and then continued, wiping out and affecting everyone I ever loved. I knew I shouldn’t have let myself fall in love. I knew love would be the death of me, but I didn’t realize it would also be the death of life as I knew it.

  They ended me, so I will end them.

  They think they will be ready for me. They will have their armies ready. Their weapons aimed at me. While I’m just one single man. I shouldn’t be able to take down their entire army. I shouldn’t be able to win.

  But they can’t kill a ghost. I’ve turned into nothing but a whisper of a shadow in the night. Barely a memory of the man I once was. There is nothing more they can take from me. And physical pain doesn’t touch me, not anymore, not after what they did.

  Mother.

  Zeke.

  Langston.

  Liesel.

  Kai.

  All the people I loved—gone.

  Why couldn’t they take me instead?

  My death should have been enough. It should have been enough to prevent all the people I loved from dying.

  But they wanted me alive. They wanted me to live. They aren’t finished with me yet.

  But they will pay—for every single death. They kept the wrong person alive. If they had let Kai live, she might have been able to let my death go. She may have let them live.

  I laugh. If they had killed me instead of Kai, she would have taken her time torturing every single one of them. It would have been worse off for them.

  I don’t plan on slowly torturing them, I plan on killing them all at once. Because I can’t live with this pain. I need them gone. I need to get rid of this enormous ache in my chest, this emptiness in my belly, this loss of myself. This loss of love.

  The wind lashes through me again, trying to thwart my plans.

  My eyes turn red, and my heart stone—nothing will stop me now. Not until I wipe out every person who took my love from me.

  I am unstoppable.

  My heart has shattered. It no longer resides in my chest; it is scattered throughout my body embedded into every muscle, vein, and bone until all that is left of me is my heart. It encompasses everything I am. My bleeding heart is all that is left of me. I need to stop the bleeding. And the only way to do that is to kill them—all of them.

  Blood for blood.

  Death for death.

  It’s the only way.

  And then I can let go. Then I can let the world consume me.

  Somehow the wind picks up. Somehow the ship rocks harder. Somehow the rain pelts my face harder. And I don’t know if mother nature is on my side, agreeing with my plan or trying to stop me. It makes no difference, because nothing can stop me, not anymore.

  My body shudders, though, and the tears finally fall—hard, and I realize the sky is crying with me. Because my life isn’t fair. My life is brutal. My life is gone. And I’ve had enough.

  How do I live without everything that matters? The world may have thought by taking everything I loved it would turn me into the ruthless leader my father tried to develop. Instead, all that is left the empty cavity in my chest where my heart once resided.

  I fall to my knees. You win. You fucking win.

  The sobs continue, and the pain wrenches through my body like a continuous stream of nails plunging into my body. The pain will never stop again.

  This is it—the end of my world.

  And I’m more than ready for it to be over.

  1

  ENZO

  “I LOVE YOU, STINGRAY,” I say, my words traveling around the cabin of the yacht.

  Liesel looks at me with a mix of yearning and sympathy, because she knows how Kai feels. She knows Kai won’t say I love you back. Her feelings have changed. And our roles have reversed.

  Liesel stands up from her chair, giving Kai a look that says we will talk more later. Then she walks toward where I stand in the doorway.

  And I wish I would have entered earlier. I wish I would have heard Liesel and Kai’s conversation. Liesel was the first one to get Kai to talk. It should have been me.

  Instead, it was fucking Liesel.

  And that kills me.

  Liesel places her hand on my shoulder and gives me a squeeze. That gesture should comfort me. Instead, it breaks me further. Because her eyes tell a different story. Her eyes say, you have no chance. Kai has changed.

  But I refuse to believe it. Kai has been broken before. Kai has given up hope before. She’s locked herself away before—this is no different.

  I just need time to break down her walls again. Time to earn her forgiveness and trust.

  Time.

  I have plenty of it now that Milo is dead.

  Liesel shuts the door behind me, and I stand with my hands in the pockets of my jeans. A gesture I’ve mastered ever since I got Kai back. With my hands stuck in my pockets, I’m less likely to reach out and touch her. But it still takes all of my willpower to not wrap her in my arms. To keep my lips from kissing hers tenderly, and passionately. I need to feel all o
f her. But that’s selfish, and after failing her, I don’t deserve to be selfish.

  I take Liesel’s empty seat across from where Kai is sitting as she stares out the large window of the cabin.

  Kai looks at me as I sit, which I guess I should consider progress. She hasn’t looked at me since the first night when I found her drenched in Milo’s blood. Her body traumatized by what Milo had done to her. And that night, she begged me to fuck her. She wanted me to take Milo away. Rip him from her brain, and replace my body with his.

  And I gladly gave Kai what she needed. I was hesitant, unsure if fucking her would help her heal or make things worse. But I did it. Because I needed the connection as much as she did.

  And when we fucked, I thought we were going to make it. That it was the beginning of us healing from something so unthinkable. Something so painful and traumatic no person should ever have to suffer like that.

  But the second my cum shot inside her, and she came down from her orgasm, everything changed.

  Not like before—Kai didn’t lock herself away with her shield, her walls up to keep herself from hurting. This is different.

  More happened than just Milo raping her. No matter how horrible that must have been for her, there is more. Because being raped would have been bearable for Kai. But whatever happened was worse.

  I close my eyes and take a deep breath. I need to learn how to meditate or do yoga or some shit like that to keep my patience in check. I used to be so patient, so calm. I used to be able to handle any amount of waiting; delayed gratification was my middle name. But when it comes to Kai, I have no patience. I need her like I need air. And I need her to be happy and safe more than I need oxygen.

  Truth or lie? I don’t love Enzo Black.

  Truth.

  Those words slaughtered me. I’ve been through an eternity of pain over the last few months. My entire life, in fact, has been one long stream of torture. But those words killed me in a way I didn’t think was possible. I felt suffocated. Still alive, but unable to get the breath I desperately needed. Just enough oxygen slipping through my lungs to keep me alive but in a state of pain forever.

  It shouldn’t hurt me. There was a time when I didn’t think I was capable of love. And even when I realized I loved Kai, I never told her. I kept it to myself because I thought it was the only way to keep her safe.

  How wrong I was.

  In a way, it’s only fair the second I decide to tell her I love her is when she no longer has feelings for me.

  But when she loved me and I couldn’t say it back, it didn’t stop her from telling me any chance she got. And so I won’t withhold my own feelings no matter how hard it is for me to say.

  Because maybe, somewhere deep down inside, Kai does still love me. And I want that tiny seed to grow, until it spreads through her entire body again. Even if I don’t deserve her love—because I failed.

  “I love you, stingray. Even if you don’t love me back. Even if you can never love me back, I love you.”

  She stares at me unblinking. Her lips don’t even twitch to say anything back. This is a one-sided conversation.

  No, Kai and I share a connection I’ve never experienced with any other person before. I don’t need her words to understand her. I don’t need her touch to feel her. I can feel her aura without needing touch or words. Just breathe her in.

  But despite sitting so close to her, I don’t feel anything—not anymore. I can’t feel how fast her heart is beating. Unless I focus intently on her chest, I can’t tell how quickly she is breathing. Her eyes are blank, giving nothing away behind her green eyes. Her body isn’t drawn to me like it was before.

  I can’t read her at all.

  “I’m sorry, Kai. You can’t believe how incredibly sorry I am for letting Milo hurt you. I should have been stronger. I should have saved you sooner. I should have protected you. A better man would have.” My voice cracks with each word. For the past month, I’ve been beating myself up about what I should have done. I shouldn’t have waited.

  I thought waiting was the right choice. I needed to regain her trust. I needed to show her she was in control of her own life. That I trusted her to make her own decisions. But I failed her in the process.

  Milo might still be alive, but Kai would still be mine. I don’t know how Milo accomplished it, but he held his promise. He took her from me. Kai no longer loves me. She no longer breathes for me. She no longer longs for me.

  It should have been me.

  I should have been the one Milo broke, not Kai. But in the end, he chose her. And I think Milo knew he would never really become Black. That he would never rule. He was always destined to break Kai and me apart, even though he knew he wouldn’t survive the betrayal himself.

  I stare at Kai as the weight of what I let Milo do to her settles between us. My guilt has never been so strong. Not when I realized that Kai’s father had sold her. Not when I made the same mistake myself and sold her to Milo, even though I saved her after. This—this is my greatest regret.

  But this—I can’t heal her if she won’t let me in. Not even into the outer edges of herself. Not even into the bubble of her personal space.

  I sigh when again Kai doesn’t say anything nor react to my words.

  “What do you need me to do, Kai? Tell me, and I’ll do it. Write it down if you can’t say it. Tell Liesel, and she’ll pass along the message. I don’t care what it is. If you need to punish me for what I did, then punish me. If you need me to push you slowly and gradually each day like I did before until you can talk and touch me again, then I will. If you need me to be patient and wait for you to come to me, I will. I can hire the best therapists in the world if that’s what you need. If you are done with the stupid games we play for Black; I’ll find a way to get you out of finishing. If you want to play our truth or lies game, I will. But I can’t help you if you don’t let me in. You don’t have to say anything. Just give me a nod if I’m doing the right thing.”

  Nothing.

  Blink.

  Blink blink.

  Blink blink blink.

  That’s her only movement—blinking. The only sign she is even alive. Her breathing is so weak I can’t even see her chest rise and fall.

  I lean forward in my chair with my hands in my lap, inching just the tiniest bit closer but not touching her. Not invading her space. But even the small inch closer makes my own heart beat rapidly and painfully in my chest. I’m so close, yet so far.

  “This is killing me, Kai. You’re the only thing in my world that matters anymore. I’m this close to giving Langston the power to run the empire, and running off with you to live on an island somewhere. As long as the people who depend on me are safe and taken care of. And Langston can do the job as well as you and I ever could.”

  Her blinking stops.

  Yes! This is how she will communicate with me—through blinking. It’s the tiniest of gestures, but when she first arrived in my house months ago so broken and beaten, she could only give the most minimal of gestures. This is no different.

  All I needed was a drop of hope. This is it—my hope.

  “You don’t want Langston to become the leader?” I ask.

  Her blinking speeds.

  “Okay, Langston won’t become the leader.”

  I pause, trying to figure out what is the most important things to ask without breaking her—without pushing her too far. But now that I have hope, I can’t help myself.

  “Do you blame me for what happened?”

  Her blinking slows—no, she doesn’t blame me.

  I exhale a deep breath. She should blame me, but she doesn’t. I can live with that. But then why will she talk to Liesel and not me?

  “You won’t hurt me, you know? You may think you will hurt me if you tell me what Milo did to you. I understand if it is easier to talk to Liesel about what happened than to me, but I’m here. Whatever you need.”

  Her blinking remains steady, and I can’t tell what it means.

  I sigh,
rubbing the back of my neck. My back aches from sitting hunched over in this too-small chair, but I don’t care. I’d sit here all day as long as she gives me any sort of interaction, any amount of hope that we can heal from this.

  “I want to touch you—hold your hand. Is that okay?”

  I hold my breath as a lump in my throat grows, and the burning ache in my belly strengthens. After the last few weeks worrying about Kai, I’m surprised if I have any lining left in my stomach.

  Steady blinking, but then, rapid—her way of saying yes to me.

  I suck in more oxygen, not daring to let any of it leave because I’m not sure if this moment is real. Holding my breath is the only thing keeping me from throwing her over my shoulder and taking her away from everything. Because here we have to face reality, but away, we could start anew. A fresh start may be exactly what we need.

  Slowly, I extend my right hand out toward Kai, hoping she will move the final inches toward my hand. I don’t want to scare her or hurt her. I don’t want to force her to do anything. I want her to come to me.