A Very British Witch Boxed Set

by Isobella Crowley

  “Not really. Hard day. Hard week,” Scarlett said, joining Amanda on the sofa.

  “Yeah. How’s your aunt doing?

  “Holding up remarkably well, considering.”

  “I can’t imagine.”

  “She called it an adventure.”

  Amanda laughed. “Remind me never to go on one of your aunt’s adventures!”

  “Speaking of adventures,” said Scarlett. “I have a date with Tim tonight.”

  Amanda perked up. “Finally!” she exclaimed. “I’ve been wondering when you two might get together.”

  “We’ll see,” she said. “I haven’t had the best of luck lately.”

  “Sounds like your luck is changing, girl. Life is looking up!”

  Scarlett stood. “Well, I’d better get myself together for tonight.”

  “I’ll be over at Ronnie’s tonight, but I want updates. Message me and let me know how it went.”

  “You know I will.”

  For the second time in a week, Scarlett went to her room to get ready for a first date.

  Chapter Nineteen

  Malaprop’s Bookstore, Bicester, England

  Cliff arrived at the bookstore to meet Ronnie, Karl, and Tarquin. He locked the door behind him and wandered through to the back where he found the others.

  Ronnie looked haggard, but the others seemed to be in fine spirits.

  Tarquin had called a post-mortem on the Jade investigation. They discussed the case a while, updating each other on what they knew. Cliff had heard most of it already, and his mind drifted to more pressing concerns.

  “Any news on the investigation in Oxford?” he asked, changing the subject.

  Tarquin nodded. “I’ve been looking into it.”

  “Did you find anything?”

  “Your ‘dealer’ has been moved to a secure hospital. Apparently, he’s been ranting like a crazy person. Vampires, and so on. They’re treating him for schizophrenia, and other things, I presume.”

  “Shows how little the doctors know,” said Karl. “Anything they don’t understand gets explained away as a mental illness. Labels instead of knowledge. It’s ridiculous.”

  “At least it solves our problem,” said Cliff. “The guy’s not going to go around telling anyone. And if he does, he won’t be taken seriously.”

  Karl turned to Ronnie, who was slumped over. He looked exhausted. “You feeling okay, Ronnie?”

  Ronnie nodded. “I have to say, I’m glad to finally have this investigation behind us.”

  “It was a close one,” Karl said. “We might easily have been discovered. We have to take precautions.”

  “And we are,” Tarquin reminded him.

  “I haven’t been sleeping well,” Ronnie admitted.

  “Completely understandable, given the circumstances,” Tarquin said. “I know you liked Jade.”

  “She was my best employee.”

  “How are you going to replace her?” Karl asked.

  “I don’t know. I can’t think about that right now. Not tonight.” He rubbed his forehead. “Listen, fellas, if there isn’t anything else, I really need a beer.”

  “Fine by me,” said Tarquin.

  None of the others objected, so Ronnie excused himself and left.

  When he was gone, Tarquin turned to Cliff. “How are you getting on with the potion? Still taking it twice a day?”

  “Yes.”

  “And?”

  “And what?” Cliff said, feeling a twinge of anger. “I’m taking it as ordered, doctor.”

  “Is it helping the cravings?”

  Cliff nodded. “Yes. Almost no appetite.”

  “Glad to hear it.”

  “But it means that keeping down that pigs’ blood is nigh impossible.”

  “It’s only for a short time,” Tarquin assured him.

  “I’m gonna have to sort out a solution soon, else I’ll be wasting away.”

  “Let me know if you need any help,” Karl said, sounding sympathetic. “I mean, if you need someone at full strength to do some compelling.”

  “I’ve never had a hunting buddy before,” Cliff said dryly.

  “Don’t get used to it,” Karl retorted, matching his tone. Karl didn’t have the restraint problems that Cliff suffered from, and had been employing the snatch, drink, compel, return strategy his whole vampire life. It also meant that he wasn’t dependent on finding individuals with access to blood banks in order to survive.

  Cliff shifted his stance, his manner more serious now. “Actually, Karl that would be helpful. Thank you. I’ll let you know when I’ve got someone. I think I need to try another hospital, though… so the police don’t put it all together.”

  “That would be wise,” Karl said. “Speaking of police, no whispers on them getting anything put together?”

  Cliff shook his head and looked at the others.

  Tarquin shook his head too. “Nothing that I’ve heard.”

  Karl’s expression was still serious. “Well, you may just have got away with it then. As long as they don’t find the body, this may just blow over.”

  Cliff bobbed his head, his gaze lowered in deference. “Thank you,” he said quietly, only raising his eye briefly to look at each of them. “I… I appreciate what you’ve done for me.”

  “You’ll run out of the tinctures in a week or so,” Tarquin said. “Remember to come by and pick up more supplies. I wouldn’t want you to run out.”

  “Me neither, believe me,” Cliff said. “If you’ll excuse me, gentlemen, there’s somewhere I need to be.”

  +++

  Slater Residence, Bicester, England

  By the time Scarlett has finished getting ready, Amanda had already left for Ronnie’s. Tim was due to arrive any minute. She was touching up her eyebrows when the doorbell rang.

  When she opened the door she saw him dressed up, not in his uniform, but in dress pants, a tee shirt and a blazer. He looked like a whole new person.

  “Right on time,” she said, beaming.

  “Military time,” he replied.

  They hugged, and he gave her a quick peck on the cheek.

  He stepped back and admired her. “You look stunning.”

  “Thank you,” she said, happily accepting the compliment. “Let me grab my coat.”

  She locked up and he walked her to his car, opening the door for her.

  He hadn’t told her where they were going yet.

  “So, what’s the plan?” she asked when he’d slid in behind the wheel.

  “I’m taking you to my favorite Thai place: The White Horse.”

  “The one at Wheatley?”

  “Have you been?” he asked.

  “Not in a long time,” she said. “I like it, though.”

  “I love it,” he said. “I used to go by myself a lot. It’s even better with company.”

  “In other words, that’s where you take all the girls,” she said with a coy smile.

  He laughed. “You are all the girls.”

  “Well, I’d better be,” she teased.

  “You know, I was thinking of asking you out a while ago,” he admitted.

  “I’m glad you finally got around to it.”

  “I’m glad you said yes.”

  “Of course I did,” she said. “But you’ve got to stop suspecting me of murder!”

  He smiled. “Okay, fair enough.”

  +++

  Cliff sat in his car half a block down the street and watched as Tim’s car pulled out of Scarlett’s driveway. He saw her face as they drove by, but she didn’t see him. He couldn’t help but notice that she looked happy. Really happy. He felt the urge to follow them, but knew that was crazy.

  This wasn’t like him at all. He had never before allowed himself to feel jealous.

  It’s that potion, he thought. It’s making me weak.

  He sat for a long while after they’d left, concealed in the shadows, thinking of Scarlett and fighting back the hunger.

  Author notes: Izzie Crowley


  Austin, Wednesday, 5th December, 2018

  Thank yous

  Thank you for reading, not just the first two stories, but also for arriving here and reading these humble author notes too. I’m so glad you’re here!

  Without you, there would be no point in spending the hours and hours to plot and write these books. It’s because of you that I get a reason to spill my daydreams and ideas onto a page, and for that I am truly grateful.

  Thank you also if you have taken the time to review this on Amazon. I understand from Ell that reviews are SUPER important in terms of making a series a success. And if this series is a success, I get to keep writing. So, really, thank you for reviewing.

  I’d also like to thank our super awesome JIT team. They’ve been instrumental in helping me get this right, and catching inconsistencies. Thank you so much. You’re the best. :)

  A lot of people go into making a book like this. A big shout out goes to the production team: David, Terry, Brittany, Bel, Amy, and Jeff. Thanks for rallying around this series and giving it the best chance of success.

  I’d also like to thank my friend, Ell Leigh Clarke for helping me navigate the challenges of writing and publishing. There is a whole process, and I don’t think I could have managed it on my own. Apart from anything, this whole project is quite different from how it started off… and I’m glad of the help and input.

  Witches not Wiccans

  You won’t have seen this, but in the original draft there was more talk of Tabitha and Scarlett being of Wiccan descent, but since this was inaccurate, we decided to just go with the word ‘witch’ and then build up what that means in this world through the story.

  Hopefully the reference to Wicca in the book shop when Tarquin is helping the old dear didn’t cause anyone offense. I think it’s pretty clear that the lady was confused and also didn’t seem to know that Wiccans don’t cast spells or curses. That was kind of the point – to highlight uninformed perceptions. I hope this came across, as it was a bit of a talking point in the JIT discussions.

  There’s lots more to discover about Aunt Tabitha and Scarlett’s mum, their relationship, and their bloodline and where their witchy powers come from. I’m excited to get into that down the line, as we unravel more and more mysteries.

  Plus, I’m looking forward to developing that relationship between Tabitha and Tarquin – two people who are on opposite sides of the witchy gamut, and seeing how their powers and knowledge might complement each other.

  From Bicester to Texas

  As you’re aware, I’m not originally from the US. Already a few folks have asked me about some of the differences between Texas and back home in Bicester.

  Well, first of all, we don’t have Thanksgiving!

  Also, Halloween unfortunately isn’t such a big deal back home either. Sure, the pubs and shops will do Halloween decorations, and then as soon as they take them down, the Christmas decorations go up!

  But no Thanksgiving in between.

  Although – it seems the whole Starbucks red cups that is synonymous with the advent of Fall (Autumn, in English 1.0!) is becoming a thing back home too.

  Someone asked me what dating culture is like, and how it’s different.

  Well, for a start, we don’t have this weird-ass thing where when you’re dating you’re effectively seeing lots of people all at the same time. If there is some overlap, it’s never for more than a date or more… until you do that thing called: making up one’s mind!

  Idk why it’s so difficult for people.

  Sigh.

  Anyway, it’s something that I’ve still not adapted to over here, and it could be that I’m just sensitive, or something, but I don’t think it’s something I can participate in.

  The other thing I’ve found hard since moving here, and Ell and I have talked about this, is that it’s hard to find people who are interested in the same things. I think part of this is because we’re already fish out of water! But also, back in the day when you have a reason to be around similar people – for Ell it was studying and being around physicists, and for me it was more being around people at work who I had things in common with - it’s easier to build friendships. And of course, proximity is important for building all relationships, friendships or romantic, or otherwise. I think working from home is isolating, and removes a lot of the typical places where you’d interact with someone. I think this is why Ell tries to work from cafes… but I find them too noisy to concentrate.

  One thing I did try for a little while was online dating – with a few of the apps you can get.

  What I noticed was that Austinites on these apps fell into to categories, or stereotypes:

  The outdoorsy person, most often pictured with a dead fish in hand, or no shirt, showing off his abs

  The musician, most often pictured with a lot of drunk people, or on stage, not even looking at the camera.

  These may be vast over-generalizations, but I feel like it’s representative of the people I’ve met in dating apps.

  I’m still hoping to find my tribe at some point and have these stereotypes broken.

  We’ll see…

  Until then, I have book three to work on!

  Again, thank you so much for reading and reviewing. I’m so glad you’re here!

  Love Izzie xo

  Author notes: Ell Leigh Clarke

  Austin, Wednesday, 5th December, 2018

  Hey there. I’d like to echo Izzie’s thanks for reading the stories and our author notes. It’s true – without you, there would be no stories, so thank you for making this happen.

  Editing issues

  It seems like we’ve had some editing issues in the first and second book. By the next book we hope to have these all resolved so it reaches you in peak condition. We’re going to switch up the production process and see if we can get it nailed this time.

  I understand how frustrating it can be to read something and have it full of distracting errors. Just know that we’re working on it, and hopefully we’ll be more successful in our future attempts. (We’re also planning to head back through the first books too and see if we can clean them up some more. At some point in time you’ll be reading this and not know what we’re talking about because we’ll have got it all corrected and only these author notes will remain as a reminder of what once was!)

  She says… ;)

  Anyway, book 3 is set to release in about three weeks from the time of writing these notes. Plenty of time for lots of tooth combs to move through the manuscript.

  So book 3 will take us into the holidays, and then book 4 will be on the slate for early January, all being well.

  However, as you might know, we don’t really know how well a book is going to perform until we have three books out, so we will have to see what happens later this month before we make big decisions about what to do with the series.

  I’m hopeful it’s going to prove popular enough to allow us to keep going. We’ve got lots of mysteries still to uncover, and lots of idea for where to take our merry band of outsiders. I for one am certainly looking forward to what comes next!

  Stack Size Matters

  Even though I’ve been knee-deep in publishing these last several weeks, a girl has to come up for air now and again. My trips out to play poker have continued, and a little more consistently of late. My energy levels have been up and I seem to be recovering from the adrenal fatigue – thank goodness.

  Since I’ve been back though, something seems to have clicked for me. I’ve realized that the way to win more hands is to play a little more aggressively. This then gives you more chips to play with, which means you can bet bigger, and scare more people off the pot. I’ve watched others do this, though it took me a while to realize that they might not necessarily have had the best hand. The danger I always saw was that if I wasn’t getting good hands, I probably shouldn’t bet. Anyway, I’ve tried this tactic and it seems to work.

  One definitely has the opportunity to play a different game w
hen one has the stack size to do it!

  It got me thinking though. I wonder if this is an analogy to how people do things in the real world. I think I’ve seen it in the business world, where because someone is bigger they have different opportunities and strategies available to them, that others don’t have at a smaller size, for instance.

  I think this observation is fractal too – in that it happens in all kinds of scenarios, in all kinds of niches, in lots of different ways.

  Anyway, it’s something that I’m still mulling…

  Fake Thanksgiving

  Amy’s folks came into town this week. For a few months now we’d been planning to do a Thanksgiving dinner at my place. Amy’s kitchen in small and makes it difficult to host things, so my place was the easier option. Monday was the day, and after running the hoover around and trying to get tidied up before they arrived, I managed just in the nick of time.

  They traipsed in from the car carrying a cooked turkey, and pans of prepared vegetables, as well as bags of additional dishes. I hurried out to help them as soon as my stalking app on my phone showed me that Amy was parking!

  Anyway, we brought the supplies in and started preparing the meal, in amongst chatting and drinking wine.

  It turned out that both her parents are truly awesome and a tonne of fun… although, I feel like she gives her Dad a hard time for no real reasons. It’s no wonder he doesn’t say often say much! ;)

  Originally on Thanksgiving itself I went with friends to Thread Grills – a traditional, southern cooking restaurant downtown. The foods were southern style – cornbread stuffing and the like. This Thanksgiving event was very quickly coined Mid-Western by Amy’s Mom who explained that this is where she and Amy’s Dad had grown up and this is what they cooked.

  One of the Mid-Western delicacies they made was something called Ambrosia. It’s basically marshmallows, with canned fruit, real chopped fruit and Cool Whip!

  I was a little nervous as I didn’t quite know what to expect from it. It looked sweet, and tart… more like a dessert. In fact, I wasn’t sure if it was meant to go with the main meal or not. I watched apprehensively as Amy and then her Mom spooned it onto their plates next to their turkey and asparagus.