Smile Like You Mean It (Charlotte Reynolds Book 1)

by Willow Hadley

  Ms. Kinsley smiles brightly. “Oh, hi, Madison! We’re just finishing up now.” She quickly finishes typing something into the computer and prints out a sheet of paper. She hands me a copy. “Here’s your schedule. I’m going to be calling all the eleventh and twelfth graders in to talk within the first few weeks of school, but you’re more than welcome to come see me anytime!”

  I grin at her as I grab the paper. I can’t wait to find out if I share any classes with the guys. I thank Ms. Kinsley and stand up. It takes me a second to maneuver around the various piles of paperwork, but I smile at Madison once I reach the door.

  She’s smiling too, but it doesn’t reach her eyes. She’s a bit taller than me, and she’s thin with long straight brown hair. “I’m Madison Taylor, junior class president. If you let me see your schedule, I’ll point out where your classes will be.”

  I nervously stutter out, “Oh, um, thank you. I’m, um, I’m Charlotte Reynolds.”

  Madison smirks and lets out a short laugh. “Yeah, I know.”

  I feel my cheeks flush, but I immediately put my guard up and make sure I’m not showing any emotion on my face. I was awkward when I met Sebastian and the guys too, but they never made me feel stupid about it, not even for a second.

  Madison takes my schedule from my hands before I even hand it to her and gives a sickly-sweet smile to Ms. Kinsley before she walks out into the hallway. We’re not even fully out of the main office when she whispers, “God, that new counselor is such a spaz, right?”

  I push my glasses up on my nose and give Madison my own sickly-sweet smile without replying. I actually liked Ms. Kinsley, even though she’s definitely quirky and clumsy.

  Madison gives me a once over and frowns. “Listen, I know you’re new and everything, but can I give you some advice?” She keeps walking down the hallway of the school, not bothering to point anything out. “You might not want to dress like that when school actually starts. And god, those glasses! I don’t know where you moved from, but people here will make fun of you. I swear to god, I’m seriously trying to help. You’d be really pretty if you didn’t look like such a goody-two-shoes librarian!”

  My feelings are hurt, but I think about looking at all of those photographs with Sebastian last night and how he and the other guys made me feel so pretty. Sebastian even complimented me this morning, and the memory of that moment gives me the confidence to smile at Madison and simply say, “Hmm, thank you.”

  Madison stares at me like she’s not sure what to say back. After a couple of seconds, she finally begins pointing out everything we walk past and acts as though she didn’t just completely insult me. The school building is pretty generic, just like any other average high school in America. She gestures to the classrooms where each of my classes will be, but she’s so dismissive that I know there’s no way I’ll remember my way around here.

  After only ten minutes, I get up the courage to pull my phone out of my purse and text Sebastian. “I’m sorry if you’re still busy, but please save me! The girl giving me the tour is totally awful!”

  Sebastian texts back within a few seconds, “Don’t worry, we’re on our way now!”

  I can’t help smiling at my phone. He replied so quickly, and I’m assuming at least one of the other guys is with him since he said we.

  “Are you even listening to me?” Madison puts a hand on her hip and sighs haughtily.

  I glance around the cafeteria before raising one eyebrow. I’m not nervous at all in front of her now. At this point, I’m fed up with her. “Honestly, no. I’m not even sure why you volunteered to do this. It’s obvious you don’t want to be here right now.”

  Madison laughs in surprise. “You’re right, I totally don’t. This is just a requirement for being class president. I’m meeting my friends right after this.”

  “Okay, well, my friend is on his way to pick me up now. So, you’re off the hook, I guess.”

  I start walking down the hallway, hoping to find an exit even though I’m pretty lost at this point. But Madison rushes to keep up with me, and there’s a curious gleam in her eyes now. “Your friend? I thought you just moved here. Who could you possibly know already?”

  “My uncle’s stepson Sebastian and some of his friends.” I don’t know any of their last names yet, so I shrug and list their first names only. “Liam, Elliot, Remy, and Grayson.”

  Madison’s jaw drops, which is a tad over-dramatic, if you ask me. “You’re kidding, right?”

  When I don’t respond and keep walking, she grabs my arm to stop me in the hallway and lowers her voice. “Charlotte, listen. I’m sorry for being a bitch earlier, seriously. It wasn’t personal at all! I just want to get to the lake with my friends because the guy I like is going to be there. You should come with us!”

  I furrow my eyebrows, confused as to why she’s suddenly acting all chummy. “Um, no thanks? I just told you Sebastian’s coming to pick me up.”

  She shakes her head and lowers her voice even more. “I’m assuming you don’t know yet because you’re new and haven’t met anyone else. But I promise, you do not want to hang out with those guys!”

  I pull my arm away from her and make my facial expression blank again. “What?”

  “They’re scary dangerous! All of them are, like, super violent and messed up. They’re always getting into trouble and they’re just, like, totally weird in general! Sebastian almost killed a kid in ninth grade just for making a joke about his mom. He was in the hospital for the longest time. And oh my god, Remy Oliver actually did kill his own dad, like for real! He went to juvie and everything, and he’s a total psychopath. Nobody around here talks to any of them if they can help it. Elliot wouldn’t be so bad if he wasn’t so annoying, but at least he’s normal enough to be on the football team.”

  I’m stuck staring at her for several seconds, and I freaking hate that I’m reacting that much. I don’t know how much of what she said is true, but I have a feeling she’s not exaggerating about people avoiding the guys. Little comments the guys have made to me and the whole incident at the arcade finally make sense to me.

  “What about Grayson and Liam?” My voice comes out colder than I intended, but I’m trying really hard to control my anger.

  Madison rolls her eyes. “Liam’s just a geeky loser. He’s, like, the complete opposite of his twin sister. And Grayson…” She shakes her head derisively and whispers, “He’s so weird! He’s just, like, some depressed little faggot emo boy. And he has two moms. Lesbian moms!”

  Yeah, I’m definitely going to punch this girl in the face if I don’t get out of here right now. I spin on my heel and continue walking briskly down the hallway. Luckily, there’s a door at the end of the hall that leads outside. We’re on the side of the building, but I can see the parking lot where Arthur and I originally parked to come in here.

  “Oh, I need my schedule.” I hold my hand out to Madison, as she’s still following me.

  She hands it to me and looks at me like I’m totally insane. “Aren’t you going to say anything? I swear to god, I’m not making any of that up!”

  I shrug and fold up the piece of paper before sticking it in my purse. I’m not saying another goddamn word to her. I can’t believe she told me all that shit about the guys. I know they would have eventually told me themselves, just like I’m sure someday I’ll tell them what happened to me. And if even a fraction of what she just said is true, my heart is totally breaking for all five of them.

  The moment I make it to the front of the school, Sebastian pulls up by the curb with Grayson in the passenger seat. The timing is seriously like magic. Madison grabs my arm again before I can take a step forward.

  “You’re seriously going with them? After everything I just told you?”

  I yank my arm away from her as Grayson gets out of the car. He’s holding the door open for me and grins over at us. “Hey, Princess, we’re here to rescue you.”

  I hug him tightly the second I reach him, and he doesn’t hesitate to wrap
his arms around me in return. When I let go of him, I turn back to Madison and flip her off before getting into the car. Grayson laughs loudly and closes my door, and he hops into the back seat.

  Sebastian gives me a lopsided smile. “So, uh, I guess the tour didn’t go very well then?”

  Grayson sighs happily from the backseat and reaches forward to lightly tug on a strand of my hair. “I knew there was a reason I totally loved you. I’m pretty sure seeing you give Madison Taylor the finger just made my week.”

  I feel so relieved to be with them again, and I relax in my seat once Sebastian starts driving out of the parking lot. “I’m glad you showed up when you did. Another minute, and I know I would have punched her.”

  Sebastian gives me a concerned look. “Was she mean to you? I would have told Arthur to cancel that shit if I’d known it was her showing you around.”

  I shrug, still feeling a simmering rage inside of me despite my relief to be in their presence. “She made fun of my glasses and outfit, and she said I look like a librarian, but I don’t really give a shit about that.” I let out a long breath and give the boys a guilty look. “She was talking about you guys after I mentioned I knew you.”

  Grayson’s still touching my hair, but his hand goes still. “Ah, fuck.”

  Sebastian’s eyes dart between me and the road, and he reaches his hand out to me like he’s unsure if he should touch me or not.

  “I’m sorry. I can imagine what she said. Are you mad?” He doesn’t give me the opportunity to respond before brushing his fingers through his hair nervously. “I didn’t think you’d find out like that.”

  I can’t believe he’s apologizing! They look so worried—worried about how I feel and how I’m going to look at them, and it makes my guard drop completely. I take my glasses off and put my hands over my eyes. I don’t want them to see me cry, despite everything else right now.

  “I am furious. I can’t even…” I breathe out of my nose. “She had no right to tell me anything like that about you guys!”

  Sebastian softly grabs my hand, forcing me to uncurl my clenched fist. “Hey, it’s alright. You’re probably going to hear tons of stupid rumors about us once school starts anyways.”

  Grayson gently rubs his hand over my shoulder. “We were gonna take you to lunch. Are you hungry?”

  I lift my right hand up to put it over Grayson’s, so that now I’m holding both boys’ hands. “Yeah, I am.”

  Sebastian smiles at me, but then he asks, “Do you, um, want to tell us what she said exactly?”

  I’m afraid to, only because I don’t want to upset them or hurt their feelings. But I know I would be totally curious if I were in their position. And I don’t want them to think I’m judging any of them. I finally shrug and look down at my lap.

  “She insulted all five of you and said I should stay away from you if I could, and that everyone else avoids you too. She told me about a fight you got into, Sebastian, with some kid in ninth grade. And Remy…” I trail off, unable to repeat anything else that dumb bitch said to me.

  They’re silent for a moment until Grayson clears his throat. “She told you about Remy’s dad?”

  I nod my head slowly, and Sebastian squeezes my hand. “Please don’t be upset, Charlotte. I know Remy would have told you in his own time, but his dad was really abusive to him and his mom when he was growing up. His dad was beating his mom so badly once that he nearly killed her, and Remy just…stopped him. I don’t really wanna go into details or anything, but that’s why he went to juvie. I just hope you know, no matter what people tell you or what any of us have done, we would never hurt you. I don’t want you to be afraid of me or any of the guys.”

  God, poor Remy. My heart is breaking even more now, hearing Sebastian confirm what Madison said about him. It makes me feel even more furious. Remy has been so amazingly sweet, gentle, and nothing but kind to me. The fact that he went through something so terrible and people crucify him for it? It’s so fucking awful and makes me sick. The other guys don’t deserve that either, no matter what any of them have done.

  I shake my head and squeeze Sebastian’s hand back. “Of course I’m not afraid of you! You’re my kindred spirits.” Okay, I totally didn’t mean to say that part out loud, but whatever. “I know it’s probably crazy and irrational of me, but I feel so fucking angry at that stupid girl for saying anything mean about you guys, and for trying to convince me I should keep my distance. I wanted to hurt her for that, and knowing why those guys from the arcade were messing with Remy in the first place makes me hate them so much more now.”

  The boys are silent until Grayson finally asks, “Kindred spirits?”

  I turn my head to see him grinning at me, and I get the feeling he might be teasing me. I adjust my glasses and frown at him since I’m embarrassed now. “I didn’t mean to say that out loud.”

  Sebastian looks like he’s glaring at Grayson in the rearview mirror. “Grayson, you idiot.”

  Grayson shrugs in bewilderment. “I’m not making fun of her! I seriously want to know what it means. Please tell me. It sounded so fucking cute when you said it.”

  “A kindred spirit is like a best friend.” My voice is quieter than before, and I can feel my cheeks reddening. “Like, I don’t know, like a soul mate. When you first meet somebody and feel connected right away, or if you’ve been through something together or something similar that makes you feel bonded on a deeper level than most people.”

  Sebastian smiles brightly and turns his head to meet my eyes. “You think we’re kindred spirits?”

  I nod, still frowning and feeling mortified. “Yep.”

  “Holy shit, you are seriously the cutest fucking thing in the world.” Grayson leans forward in his seat and kisses my cheek. When I start giggling in surprise, he gives me a lopsided smile.

  We pull up to a small deli, and Sebastian smiles warmly when he parks the car. “Is this alright? This place has really good soups and sandwiches.”

  “Yeah, okay.”

  Grayson is quick to jump out of the car, and he opens my door for me before I have my seatbelt off. I smile to let him know I’m grateful for it, and he pulls me into a hug the moment I stand up beside him.

  “Best friends, soul mates, kindred spirits—call it whatever you want. I’m all in, Princess.”

  His voice is low and warm like honey, and when I tilt my head up, his springtime eyes are practically sparkling. I feel about a million butterflies writhing around in my stomach, but I try to ignore it. I know I’m going to have to get used to how cute the guys are if I’m going to be friends with them.

  Sebastian comes around from the other side of the car and smiles at us before threading his fingers through mine. “Come on.” He pulls me along toward the building, even as Grayson keeps his arm around my shoulders.

  Remy

  “Are we sure this isn’t a bit much? She was already sort of freaked out when you paid for her to play at the arcade.”

  Liam frowns at me as he finishes up with the cashier at the register. “Sebastian said she asked for a mirror in her room. You don’t think she’ll like it?”

  I look to my right where Elliot is helping one of the salespeople wrap some kind of cloth around a large, vintage, full-length mirror. I think Charlotte will like it a lot, actually, but these guys can be totally clueless about money sometimes. This thing definitely wasn’t cheap, and I’m pretty sure Charlotte was hesitant to even mention she wanted a mirror. I’m positive she has no idea Sebastian asked us to pick one up for her this afternoon.

  Elliot looks up and grins at me. “Don’t worry, dude. We’ll make sure to say it’s from all of us, not just Liam.”

  I can’t help frowning. Okay, yes, I admit it does kind of suck to think I can’t just go out and buy whatever I want for Charlotte like Liam’s able to. I know it’s incredibly stupid for me to be thinking like that, not only because I’m pretty sure Charlotte’s not the type of girl to care about status, but because I’ve seen her literally thre
e fucking times. I should not be thinking about her nearly as much as I have been, and I’m embarrassed to admit how late I was up last night drawing her again.

  As soon as they’ve finished wrapping up the mirror, I go over to the other side so I can help Elliot lift it. I’m glad we brought his truck because I really don’t think this thing would have fit in Liam’s SUV.

  I hop onto the bed of the truck and help maneuver the mirror the rest of the way in. We’re only ten minutes away from Sebastian’s house, but I’m still going to ride back here to make sure it doesn’t break on the way. After I’m settled, Elliot closes the tailgate and walks around the side of the truck.

  “Hey.” He lowers his voice and gives me a serious look. I’m worried because Elliot is almost never serious about anything. “Listen, you know none of us can date her, right?”

  God, is it so obvious I already have feelings for this girl? I pretend to play stupid. “What are you talking about?”

  Elliot rolls his eyes. “Shut the fuck up, dude. I know you like Charlotte. But if we’re going to be friends with her, it would make things way too weird and complicated if one of us asked her out. What if she didn’t like you back? Or what if things didn’t work out? She wouldn’t want to hang around with us anymore. I already talked to Sebastian about this.”

  I’m pissed off and embarrassed that Elliot’s saying anything, even if he’s probably right. But when he mentions Sebastian, I blink at him in surprise. “Wait. Sebastian likes her?”

  Elliot gives me a toothy grin and nods. “Yeah, he’s even more obvious than you are.”

  “But—" I can’t wrap my head around this for some reason. “She lives with him and Arthur. That would be...he can’t...”

  Elliot laughs and leans against the side of his truck. “Yeah, that’s what Arthur said last night. Apparently, he gave Sebastian and Charlotte some kind of sex talk and told them they can’t go into each other’s rooms with their doors closed.”