Smile Like You Mean It (Charlotte Reynolds Book 1)

by Willow Hadley

  “You know there’s nothing to be ashamed of, right? I see Dr. Collins once a week. She’s actually pretty cool.”

  Charlotte shrugs and glances sideways at Seb and Elliot. Now that we’re under the porch light, I can see her cheeks reddening. Shit, maybe I shouldn’t have said anything. She and I have talked about this when we’ve stayed up late texting each other the past few nights. I’ve told her all sorts of things about Dr. Collins and why I’ve been seeing her every week for the past three years. But I didn’t realize she’d be embarrassed to talk about it in front of the other guys. I feel like such a jerk now.

  “It’s not that, really. Anne, my social worker, well, she said that seeing a therapist is mandatory for me. And you guys know how I get when I’m nervous and meeting new people. I just, I don’t want to mess up or accidentally say something to her that will ruin everything. I love living here so much.”

  “You’re not going to ruin anything!” Sebastian declares before Elliot or I can get a word in. “And you’re not going anywhere either.”

  Charlotte smiles at him, and then at me and Elliot. I give her a reassuring grin and nod in agreement “Listen to him, Princess. I promise you’ve got nothing to worry about.”

  Inside the house, Arthur happily greets Charlotte and Elliot and asks how their night was. We talk for a while until Arthur retires for the night. Elliot and Sebastian bicker over what to watch on Netflix. They’re complete idiots. Because they’re distracted, I secure a spot sitting beside Charlotte. Less than half an hour into the movie they finally agreed upon, Charlotte falls asleep leaning against me.

  Chapter Twenty-Two

  I’m hiding in the bushes behind Grayson’s house, waiting for the perfect opportunity to sneak up on Liam. He scares so easily, so this is going to be a piece of cake. When he unknowingly runs over and crouches right in front of me, I bite my lip to keep myself from giggling. He glances around, determines he’s safe for the moment, and takes his phone out to check his texts. God, he really is making this way too easy.

  Before I lose it and give away my position from laughing, I jump out and spray him in the face with the water gun Sebastian gave me. Liam coughs and sputters, and he somehow manages to drop his phone and his water gun. I don’t give him a chance to recover before I grab his gun and take off running across the yard.

  “You sneaky little shit!” Liam shouts as he starts to chase me.

  When I’m halfway across the yard, Sebastian sees Liam chasing me and comes to my rescue. I keep running, and I can hear Liam shouting some nonsense about us not playing on teams. Once I have enough distance from Liam to be safe, I start looking around for somewhere to hide his gun. I decide to just put it inside since he’ll never think to look for it there.

  I’m standing on the back porch of my house, slowly opening the sliding glass door, when someone sneaks up behind me and tugs on the end of my braid. “What are you doing?”

  I spin around in surprise to see Grayson smirking down at me. I smile back at him and flutter my eyelashes innocently. “Nothing!”

  He laughs and nods at Liam’s water gun. “Really? What’s that then?”

  Instead of answering, I slide open the door and toss the item in question onto the floor. Grayson snorts when I slam the door closed again. “You are such a fucking cheater!”

  Summer is coming to an end. Today is the last Friday before school starts on Monday, and Grayson’s moms are throwing a small barbeque to celebrate. It’s going to be me, the guys, and Arthur, but Adrian did promise to try and stop by for a little while. I’d tried to convince Evelyn and Ava to let me help them cook or set up, but they’d kicked me out and insisted I play with the boys until they start putting food out on the grill. Sebastian and Elliot had suggested a water gun fight, and here we are now.

  “It’s not cheating if there were never any rules to begin with!”

  Grayson laughs, and he gives no other warning before spraying me in the face. While I’m coughing and attempting to move away so I don’t get any water in my nose, Grayson snatches my water gun from my hands and runs away. I’m on his tail only a half second later, but he’s so much faster than me.

  “Not freaking fair, Grayson. Your legs are way longer than mine!”

  He glances over his shoulder with a stupid grin on his face. “You’re the one that said no rules! Besides, it’s not my problem you’re so short!”

  I give up chasing him since I’ll obviously never be able to catch him. I consider grabbing the gun I’d stolen from Liam, but that would be too obvious. I put my hands on my hips and look around for the other boys. Sebastian and Liam are still in Grayson’s backyard play-fighting. I know Sebastian would take my side in a second, but Liam might not want to cheat for me since I did scare him and steal his weapon. I slowly sneak around the side of the house to the front yard, keeping an eye out for Remy or Elliot.

  The two of them aren’t even playing anymore. They’re sitting on the front porch watching a video on Elliot’s phone, laughing quietly together. I’d totally call them out for being so lame if I didn’t need their help. I try to make my expression as pitiful as possible, and I walk over to them sniffling.

  Elliot glances up at me first, raising his eyebrows. He snorts, clearly seeing through my fake tears. But still he appeases me. “Aww, what’s wrong, gorgeous?”

  Remy furrows his eyebrows and pushes his glasses up on his nose, scooting over so there’s room for me to sit between them. I give him a pathetic, wobbly smile to show that I’m grateful and I sniffle more.

  “Grayson stole my water gun and called me short!”

  Elliot barks out a laugh, and Remy gives me an amused smile. “Is that why you’re pretending to be upset? You know you’re not very good at fake-crying.”

  I sigh and glare sideways at him. “Ugh, shut up! You guys are supposed to feel bad for me and threaten to beat Grayson up in my honor!”

  “Pretty sure you can beat him up yourself, gorgeous.” Elliot’s still laughing beside me, giving me his usual mischievous smile.

  “Yeah, but you guys are super muscular.” The words slip out automatically, and I feel stupid. I try really hard to never say anything too flirty to any of the guys. But I’m so comfortable with them at this point that I say things without thinking pretty much all the time now. Remy and Elliot look surprised by my comment and also way too smug for my liking. So, I roll my eyes and glare at them. “Oh, I’m sorry. Are you guys too busy watching Tik Tok compilations on YouTube?”

  Remy sputters before scowling at me, but his cheeks are turning a satisfying shade of red. “That is not what we were watching.”

  Elliot’s in stitches beside me, laughing so hard he’s unable to speak or defend himself. I raise one eyebrow at Remy and tilt my head. “Sure, sure.”

  They don’t need more convincing after that, luckily. The three of us run around to the backyard to find that Grayson has joined in the fight between Liam and Sebastian. Elliot hands me his water gun, and he and Remy jump in too. They’re not even pretending to have a water fight anymore. They’re just wrestling and punching each other now.

  I stand off to the side and egg them on. I’d like to be throwing my own punches, and Adrian says I’m getting a lot better. But I know the boys will freak out if one of them accidentally hurts me, and it would end up ruining the whole day.

  Eventually, Elliot gets Grayson pinned to the ground with his hands behind his back, and the other boys step away. Grayson keeps laughing and fighting, but Elliot’s a lot stronger than he is. Elliot winks at me and barks at Grayson, “Apologize to her, scum! She said you called her short, goddamn it!”

  Grayson peers up at me with a giant grin on his face. Between his laughter and gasps for air he screeches, “Cheater!”

  Everyone else is laughing, and it’s ridiculously hard not to break and smile. But I force myself to appear stoic and serious, and I aim Elliot’s water gun at Grayson’s face. “Any last words?”

  Grayson squints his eyes and grins eve
n wider. It takes him a few seconds before he’s able to stop laughing. “I’m sorry! You’re not short, Princess. You’re crazy tall. As tall as Tyra Banks!”

  I may or may not have forced Grayson and Sebastian to binge-watch a season of America’s Next Top Model with me when it was raining a few weeks ago. It’s obviously paying off, and I smile brightly at Grayson’s declaration. We hold eye contact for a few more seconds, and then I shoot Elliot instead.

  It surprises him enough that Grayson’s able to get free almost right away. He grabs my hand and we sprint across the yard. I can already hear Elliot chasing us, calling us cheaters and traitors. We’ve only run a couple of yards when I look up to see Arthur standing on the back patio waving at us. And beside him is someone I wasn’t sure I’d ever see again.

  I vaguely hear Grayson ask me what’s wrong when I slow down, but I ignore him and make a beeline for the patio. I throw my arms around her and exclaim, “Anne! What are you doing here?”

  It doesn’t occur to me to be embarrassed until she awkwardly pats my back and stutters, “Charlotte! I, um, hello.”

  I let go of her and give her a shy smile. I’m always happy to see Anne, and this is the first time she’s visited me when something awful wasn’t going on. She looks pretty, wearing a pencil skirt, flats, and a cardigan. And her hair is different again. It’s cut short, and the style really brings out her eyes and cheekbones.

  “Sorry,” I say quietly. “I just wasn’t expecting to see you.”

  Arthur clears his throat and smiles apologetically as he rubs the back of his neck. “She scheduled her home visit for today, so hopefully soon we can start on the paperwork needed for me to legally adopt you. I didn’t want you to feel nervous.”

  Sebastian steps forward to stand beside me and places his hand on my back. He’s staring back and forth between Arthur and Anne with a horrified expression on his face and exclaims, “Wait, what? I thought her being here was a done deal! They can’t...I mean, they can’t take her away now, can they?”

  The other boys start talking at once, and I can’t help smiling warmly at their concern. Anne appears too shocked to say anything, and Arthur starts rubbing his hand over his forehead while he gives the boys an exasperated look.

  “No, of course not. You all know I would never let that happen. Ava has been helping me with Charlotte’s case, so there’s absolutely nothing to worry about.”

  Sebastian still has his eyebrows furrowed, so I give him a side hug and grin at Anne. “This is Sebastian, Arthur’s stepson.” I gesture to the rest of the boys. “And this is Remy, Elliot, Liam, and Grayson. Guys, this is Anne, my social worker.”

  Sebastian reaches forward to shake her hand without hesitation, and he says that it’s a pleasure to meet her. The rest of the boys do the same, and I love how absolutely genuine they sound. Elliot is the last to shake her hand, and he gives me the most adorable and heartwarming smile before looking at her.

  “Charlotte’s told us a lot about you. Thank you for looking out for her before she could find us.”

  I bite my lip and pretend I don’t have about a million butterflies now. I don’t have to concentrate for long because Anne bursts into tears. I raise my eyebrows worriedly, and Arthur widens his eyes in panic.

  He pats her shoulder and asks, “Um, should we go inside?”

  She allows him to shuffle her inside the house, and I follow behind with the guys. Anne sits down at the island in the kitchen, and Arthur hands her a tissue before offering to get her a drink. She takes a few seconds to compose herself, asks for a glass of water, and gives me the brightest smile I’ve ever seen on her face. She normally looks so stressed out whenever I’m around, and seeing her smile like that makes her appear so much younger than usual.

  “I’m sorry. I just...I can’t believe how happy you look, sweetie! You’re absolutely glowing!” She dabs her eyes with her tissue and adds, “I’ve never even seen you smile before. I’ve always worried about you so much, and...”

  She trails off, at a loss for words, and I walk over to give her another hug. I’m not as embarrassed as I was before, and she hugs me back for real this time. While her arms are around me, I smile around the room at Arthur and the boys. Over the past month and a half I’ve been living here, they’ve become the most important people in my life. My family.

  Anne stays in the kitchen talking with all of us for a little while, and Arthur eventually sends the boys next door so he can go over some paperwork with Anne. After giving her a quick tour of the house and answering some more of her questions, he leaves Anne and I alone so we can talk.

  I’m both nervous and excited to show her my room. We’re quiet, and her eyes rake over every inch of my room once we walk in. It’s so different from when I first moved in.

  I decided to keep the quilt Arthur had given me my first night here, but the sheets are new and I’ve got about a million decorative pillows with different colors and patterns. Besides the mirror the boys had surprised me with, I also have a new vanity and a bookshelf. Both of those were found at yard sales, and the guys helped me fix them up and paint them. There are fairy lights around my mirror and the closet, and some of my favorite books are now sitting alongside the ones Anne gave me on my new shelf.

  My favorite thing in my room is the array of photographs I have placed all over the walls. All pictures of me and the guys, most of them taken by Sebastian. There are also plenty of Arthur, Adrian, Ava, and Evelyn. It’s such a perfect representation of my summer and the wonderful memories I’ve had since moving here.

  Anne turns to smile at me. “You’re still so quiet.”

  “Sorry.” I bite my lip and brush my messy braid over my shoulder. I wish I’d had a chance to clean up before she got here. I know I probably look like a ragamuffin from running around outside with the guys all morning.

  “Don’t apologize.” She smiles softly and points to my bookshelf. “You still have the books I gave you.”

  I run my finger along the spines of Anne of Green Gables and Jane Eyre. “Of course! These are two of my favorite books in the world. I’ve read them so many times, and it meant so much when you gave them to me.”

  She walks around my room slowly, taking in all of the photos with a soft smile. “These are really great. Your uncle and those boys seem to care about you so much. To be honest, I’ve been really worried about you since we last saw each other. But it looks like I had nothing to worry about.”

  “They’re all great!” I sigh happily and take a set on my bed. “Arthur works late sometimes and he’s a terrible cook, but he’s always so excited to hear about my day when he gets home, and he makes an effort to really spend time with us. Me and Sebastian, I mean. Every weekend, the three of us do something together, even if it’s something simple like going to the movies or dinner, but it’s nice that he wants that quality time with us, you know?”

  Anne sits across from me on the bed and grins, “That’s great to hear. And I’m happy you get along so well with Sebastian.”

  I’m praying there’s not a lovesick smile on my face when I shrug. “Yeah.”

  Anne gets a mischievous twinkle in her eye. “Those boys downstairs seemed very nice. I was shocked when I first saw you playing outside with them the way you were, but it was cute.”

  “I tell them they’re my kindred spirits, like Anne and Diana.”

  Anne laughs loudly, and tries to cover it up with her hand over her mouth. “Oh my goodness, you’re so adorable. What do the boys think about that?”

  I bite my lip, and I’m pretty sure I’m blushing as I laugh. “They’re always really sweet. They’re pretty good about including me in stuff they like, but also about trying to do stuff I like too, even if it’s girly.”

  What I don’t tell Anne is that I have the biggest, most agonizing crush on all five of them. I’ve given up trying to convince myself that I only like them as friends. Every day, I like them more and more. I’ve sworn to never tell anybody and to absolutely never act on my feeling
s. Their friendship means the world to me, and I would never in a million years want to come between them or cause them to fight. Besides, it’s not like I could ever choose one of them over the others.

  I’d really like to change the subject so I can stop thinking about this. Fortunately, Anne beats me to it. “So, you start school on Monday?”

  “Yes!” I grin. “I’m excited, but also really nervous. I’m just glad I have most of my classes with the guys.”

  “And you’ve been seeing a therapist at least once a week?”

  I nod without saying anything. I know Anne is worried like always, and I love her for checking on me and making sure I’m okay. But I’m still embarrassed about therapy, as stupid as that sounds. Grayson and I have talked about it a lot, and the other guys are just as encouraging and supportive. But...I don’t know. I still have a hard time opening up to Dr. Collins even though she’s really nice, and I’ve seen her once a week for the past month already.

  Anne seems to pick up on the fact that I don’t want to talk about therapy, so she goes back to asking me about school. I tell her what classes I’m signed up for, and I tell her the story about meeting my counselor. I also tell her about going to the gym and training with Adrian, and how strong and alive it makes me feel. Anne asks me about a million questions, and it’s so nice to talk to her and finally open up.

  After we’ve been talking for about an hour, Anne says she should probably get going soon since it’s a pretty long drive back to Durham.

  “Are you sure you can’t stay? Grayson’s moms are throwing a barbeque. They live next door, and I know they wouldn’t mind if I invited you.”

  She pulls me into another hug and strokes my hair softly, motherly. “I wish I could, sweetie. But we can talk whenever you’d like. You still have my number, don’t you?”