Bakra Bride

by N. J. Walters

  Burying her face in her hands, Jane released all the pent-up pain of the past few months. She cried for all she’d had and lost, for the loss of her innocence and for her father who she missed. But mostly, she cried for the warrior. His pain had mirrored hers somehow and she felt as if she’d disappointed him in the same way many of her friends, coworkers and especially her ex-boyfriend Chad had failed her.

  Wiping her tears on the sheets, she took a deep breath. She supposed that this had been a long time coming. She hadn’t shed a tear since the night of the murder. Instead, she’d buried her emotions and done what needed doing.

  But the trial was finally going to be over tomorrow and then the rest of her life would begin. She decided that it was only natural to be feeling emotional. Combine that with a mind-blowing erotic dream and no wonder she’d had a complete meltdown.

  Glancing at the clock, she groaned when she saw the time. It was only five o’clock, but she knew that there was no way she’d get back to sleep now. She had to be at the courthouse by nine. Her stomach clenched at the thought of having to face her ex-boss one last time, even if she didn’t have to speak to him.

  Not bothering to try and find her nightgown or her bathrobe, she rolled off the daybed, pulling the sheet with her. Clutching it tight around her body, she padded towards the bathroom. She didn’t bother to turn on any lights until she closed the bathroom door behind her. Steeling herself, she turned and looked in the mirror.

  She was an absolute wreck. Her hair was tangled, her lips swollen, and her blue eyes looked huge and almost sunken in her pale face. Sighing, she dropped the sheet and for the first time in months really looked at her body. What she saw frightened her. She’d always tended towards thin, but now she looked downright bony. She knew she’d dropped weight, but she just hadn’t noticed or, rather, hadn’t wanted to notice just how bad it had gotten.

  Tracing a finger up over her rib cage, she circled her breast and shivered. At least they were still the same, not that they were ever large to begin with. But they were a respectable thirty-four B-cup and she didn’t want to lose what little she had. Closing her eyes, she cupped her breasts in her hands. The pulsing ache between her thighs grew stronger. Shivering, she dropped her hands and spun away from the mirror.

  Turning the shower on full, she stepped under the spray. Today was the first day of the rest of her life. No matter what happened today, the ordeal would finally be over. She was damned well going to look her best.

  Reaching for her shampoo, she lathered her hair. As she massaged her scalp and then rinsed the soap, she planned what she’d wear to court. Thoughts of the three warriors filled her mind as she began to scrub her body, but she ruthlessly shoved them aside. Today was the time for reality, tomorrow would be time enough to dream.

  * * * * *

  Jane stepped out onto the courthouse steps, clutching her purse in her hands. It was finally over. Even though the sun was shining, she felt a shiver run down her spine. Moving quickly, she hurried down the stairs, keeping her head down. The camera crews and on-air personalities were swarming like vultures, but for once they weren’t looking for her. Today it was all about Richard Trenton.

  Pressing a hand to her stomach, Jane willed it to settle. She’d been so afraid that Richard would get away with murder. He had many high-placed and influential friends but the evidence against him was too overwhelming. She’d known from the beginning that it wouldn’t be easy, but she hadn’t dreamed it would be so hard.

  The police evidence had even gotten “lost” once. After she’d said a quick prayer of thanks that she’d had the foresight to make several copies, she’d simply produced another set. Then she’d informed the media that she’d taken the liberty of making quite a few copies and distributing them with different lawyers to be brought forward in the case of her injury or death. Jane wasn’t stupid and she wasn’t taking any chances with her own personal safety.

  She’d had harassing letters and threatening phone calls, but she was no coward to be bullied. A good man had died for another man’s greed. She hadn’t known him well, but he’d always been pleasant to work with. And after seeing Bob Simpson’s wife and children in the courtroom, there was no way that she could back down. Still, it hadn’t been easy and she was just glad it was over.

  The shouting started behind her and she glanced over her shoulder. The media were descending on Richard’s lawyers. They were the best attorneys money could buy, but they couldn’t stop him from being convicted of murder. Richard was going to be spending quite a few years in prison.

  As she left the noise and frenzy of the courthouse behind her, Jane began to feel lighter than she’d felt in months. No, she corrected herself. She felt lighter than she’d felt in years. Slowing her pace, she unbuttoned her suit jacket and slipped it off. Folding it, she draped it over her purse and slung her purse strap back over her shoulder. It was mid-July, a beautiful summer’s day and she was free.

  Ambling along the sidewalk, Jane realized that for the first time in years, she had nowhere she had to be. There was no work to take care of, no court proceedings to attend. But neither was there family or friends, except for a few older ones of her father’s at the apartment building.

  She was twenty-seven years old and alone in the world—no family, friends or job. But she refused to feel sorry for herself. This was a clean slate. She could begin again and rebuild her life in any way she chose. A quaint sidewalk café caught her eye and she decided that she wanted to celebrate.

  Going inside, she went up to the counter and ordered a large iced tea, bowl of vegetable soup and a nice slab of cherry cheesecake. Picking up her tray, Jane carried it outside onto the small patio and found a table in a shaded corner. Carefully placing her tray on the table, she then dumped her coat and purse on the empty chair next to her. For the first time in a long time, she was hungry.

  Taking her time, she savored each mouthful of food. As she ate, she thought about her life. She’d come to some interesting revelations the last few months. Business, she realized, was something she’d gone into to please her father. He hadn’t had much education and had worked a hard, physical job. He’d wanted better for his daughter and Jane, more than anything else in the world, had wanted to please her father. So she’d gone to business school and then to work at Trenton Industries, working hard and rising quickly up the ranks.

  But since she’d found herself unemployed, she’d started sewing again. At first it had simply been a way to relax. She’d remade an expensive set of drapes, sewing it by hand, so that they’d fit her new apartment window. Then she’d made throw pillows out of the remaining material. She’d enjoyed herself so much that she’d started an embroidery project. Over the last ten years or so, she’d been so busy with work that she’d forgotten how much she enjoyed working with her hands.

  Pushing aside the empty soup bowl, she attacked the cheesecake. Forking up a huge bite, she popped it into her mouth and chewed slowly before swallowing. It was absolutely delicious.

  Now that her father was gone, she only had to please herself. Buying the sewing machine had been a big step for her. She knew that she was seriously considering starting her own sewing business. It might take time and she might fail in the end, but right now she had absolutely nothing to lose. She could always turn back to the business world if she needed to.

  Finding the sewing machine had been a sign of sorts and one she wasn’t willing to ignore. Thoughts of the sewing machine brought the tapestry to mind. She’d done her best all morning to forget about it, but it hovered at the edges of her awareness. Just thinking about it had her heart beating faster and her breathing getting more rapid.

  Putting down her fork, she took a sip of iced tea. Okay, so she’d had an erotic dream. It was no big deal really. Yes, it was incredibly real, but in a dreamy kind of way. The darkness and the coziness of the bed had made it all seem incredibly sensual and yet safe at the same time.

  Squirming in her chair, she tried to get comfortable
as her sex began to throb. She could feel her panties getting damp. Snagging her jacket off the chair beside her, she draped it over her lap. As she looked down, she realized that her nipples were visible through her thin silk blouse. Embarrassed, she grabbed the jacket and shrugged it on, pulling the lapels forward so that they covered her breasts.

  Honestly, she couldn’t believe she was getting so worked up over a dream. She’d rarely gotten this excited over Chad or any other man she’d ever dated.

  Maybe it was simply because it was fantasy. Her fantasy. She hadn’t had to worry about pleasing anyone but herself. The gorgeous trio of warriors had seemed to know exactly what she’d wanted. That was the wonderful thing about dreams. They were safer than reality.

  Although, at the end of the dream, there had been a moment where she hadn’t felt safe or in charge. Instead, she’d felt threatened in some sort of deep, primal way.

  Not that she thought he would harm her. She sensed that physically she was safe with the warrior, but that he could definitely be a threat to her mental and emotional wellbeing. He would demand everything from her. He wouldn’t allow her to hold anything back from him. And she was afraid he could easily get it. But he would hold himself in reserve, not giving as much as he took.

  Jane had just gotten out of a relationship where she’d done most of the giving and she wasn’t willing to go down that road again. And the fact that she was even thinking about this showed that she really needed a rest because it was just a dream—a wonderful, fantastical dream.

  And if she said it enough, she might actually convince herself. Her entire body was throbbing as she pushed back her chair and stood. Gathering her purse, she left a small tip on the table and started for home.

  Her feet were aching slightly by the time she closed her apartment door behind her. The heels weren’t particularly high, but she’d walked all the way home, partly to save money and partly so that she could think. After the heat of the outside, the coolness of the basement apartment felt good. She only wished there were more light in the room. Even though it was early afternoon, the apartment was dim.

  Kicking off her shoes, she hooked her purse over the back of her lone kitchen chair. Glancing at the answering machine, she was surprised to see the light blinking. She rarely got any phone calls anymore, except for the occasional one from a reporter hoping to get a comment from her.

  Sitting in the chair, she reached across the small table and hit the play button on the machine. As she waited for the tape to rewind, she crossed her right foot over her knees and rubbed her sore toes.

  “Ms. Smith, this is Jack Benson over at TeleCorp. We’ve reviewed your resume and in light of today’s events would like to interview you for a position. Please call me at—” Jane didn’t hear the rest of the message. She stared at the phone like it was some strange alien creature. She hadn’t had a job offer in six months of looking. Nobody wanted anything to do with her during the trial. She was too notorious.

  Before she could digest that message the second one began to play. “Jane, it’s Chad. Listen, I’m sorry about what happened between us. But you know how it is. Anyway, I’d like to see you. Please call. I miss you, Jane.”

  Her mouth had dropped open as she’d listened to the message and she forced herself to close it. She continued to stare at the phone and then she started to shake. This was unbelievable. After months of being a social and business pariah, suddenly everyone wanted to talk to her.

  She replayed the messages twice to make sure she hadn’t misunderstood them. By the time they ended, she was laughing so hard that tears were rolling down her face. Oh God. This was just so unbelievable. Did they think she was totally stupid? She swiped at her cheeks with her hands. Did they think she was that desperate for work or for comfort that she’d actually call either of them?

  Yes, they probably did. But that just proved that they didn’t know her at all. Life was about to get interesting. Where there was one offer of work, there would be more. And she also had the feeling she hadn’t heard the last from Chad.

  The shrill ringing of the phone startled her. Honestly, this was crazy. She’d only had a handful of calls in all the months she’d lived here. Not bothering to answer, she sat back and listened as a prominent magazine offered her an interview. Her eyes widened as they casually threw out how much they were willing to pay her for her time. Now this was interesting. That kind of money would give her a cushion while she started her own business.

  Playing back that message, she jotted down the contact name and number and laid it aside. She didn’t know what she was going to do, but she wasn’t going to make any hasty decisions. They could all wait until tomorrow. Today was about her.

  Chapter Three

  Jane padded into the bathroom and closed the door behind her. Ignoring the shower, she ran a nice hot bath, pouring in the remainder of an expensive bottle of bath crystals she’d bought when she’d still been working and earning good money. Stepping into the tub, she relaxed as the water rose around her. She’d neglected herself over the last few months, but that was going to change. Starting now.

  And right at this moment, that meant simply lying back in the tub and letting the soft scent of lavender and the hot water soothe her poor aching body. When the tub was filled, she turned off the taps, leaned back, closed her eyes and allowed the quiet to wrap around her.

  When the water finally started to cool, she sat up, picked up her sponge and began to wash. The flickering light from the candles she’d lit danced over the walls. Pulling the plug, she stepped out of the tub and dried herself with a large fluffy bath towel. Fortunately, she’d shaved her legs in the shower this morning, so that chore was done. Grabbing her bottle of body lotion, she poured a dollop into her palm and began to smooth it over her skin.

  Humming under her breath, she stroked the cream over her calves and thighs and across her belly and hips. Pouring some more into her hand, she covered her breasts with her hands, massaging the sweet-smelling lotion into them. It had been a long time since she’d pampered herself this way and she found herself enjoying all the feminine rituals she’d let slide.

  When she was finished, she pulled on a pair of silky summer pajamas. She’d wanted something pretty to wear tonight and these fit the bill. A soft pale blue, the drawstring pants glided over her legs. She had to tighten the string around the waist and still they fell below her bellybutton. She really had lost weight since she’d bought them last summer. The top was a simple shell with spaghetti string straps and was cut down in a simple v-neck.

  Hanging her damp towel over the shower curtain rod, she opened the bathroom door and padded out to the daybed. The tapestry was spread across the bottom of the mattress, its colors bold and inviting. Unable to resist, she sat next to it and drew her fingers over the forms of the warriors.

  It was silly really. But part of her had taken such care with her appearance because of the dream last night. For the first time in months, she’d felt like a woman again. A sensual, sexy woman who was desired by a man. Well, three men really. And if that didn’t give a woman confidence, then nothing would. She knew it was only a dream, but it had been the beginning in a change in attitude for her that had started the second she’d bought the sewing machine and the tapestry.

  Groaning, she flopped back on the daybed and stared at the ceiling. If a dream was having this kind of an effect on her, she couldn’t imagine what having an actual sex life might do. But Jane was picky about the men she let into her life. She’d only slept with two men in her life and while the sex had been good, neither relationship had lasted.

  Maybe she should forget about finding a man to spend the rest of her life with and just have a rip-roaring, flaming affair. Rolling onto her stomach, she stared down at the captivating faces of the warriors. There was no doubt that any one of these men would fit the bill for her. Handsome, strong and definitely able to please her sexually, she was afraid that these dream warriors had spoiled her. How could any real man live up to a f
antasy?

  Laying her head down on the tapestry, Jane ran her finger over the fabric, tracing the intricate stitching that created a forest haven that seemed alive. Closing her eyes, she breathed deep. She swore she could almost smell the heavy scent of flowers in the air and hear the buzz of the insects as they roamed from flower to flower. Water lapped against the shoreline and a bird sang from some nearby perch.

  Frowning, she rubbed her palm over the tapestry. She didn’t remember a lake in the picture, but a lake would be wonderful. The fish would breach and land back in the water with a splash. A smile curved up the corners of her mouth. That would be lovely.

  She twitched her nose as something flicked it. The smell of violets filled her nostrils. The light, haunting smell was absolutely incredible. She brushed her hand over her cheek when something feathered lightly over it. She really didn’t want to wake up, but when she felt it again, she slowly opened her eyes.

  The light was bright in her eyes. Funny, she couldn’t remember leaving a light on. Blinking, she brought the world around her into focus. Slamming her eyes shut, she scrunched them tight, counted to ten and slowly opened them again. She definitely wasn’t in her apartment.

  A shuffling to her right made her turn her head. A huge male chest filled her line of vision. Swallowing hard, she looked up over the tanned expanse of skin, along the strong column of his neck, until she found herself staring at the most gorgeous man she’d ever seen. His pale blue eyes ensnared her and she was afraid to blink, afraid he was just a figment of her imagination and would disappear as quickly and quietly as he appeared.