When I’m done, I hang limp, like a rag, unable to move. Everything aches. The car comes to a stop. I’m dazed, but I know we’re home. He moves. Pulls down my skirt. The door opens and he carries me into the house. I wrap my legs around his waist and hold my arms tight around his strong neck. I don’t know if anyone sees us, or what state I’m in. I don’t care.
The smells are familiar, the light from the sun that splays over the dark brown hardwood floors, the large rooms.
Luciano makes good on his promise. We don’t come up for air until the evening, back in his bed after a stint in the playroom. There isn’t one part of my body that doesn’t ache. This time around there really isn’t one single square inch that isn’t in beautiful agony. He holds me tight, his warmth, his breaths, and his caresses lulling me into a trance. I cry. Good tears. He kisses them away. I wrap my legs around his, finally coming back to myself.
“Thank you.”
“I missed you,” he answers.
“I noticed.”
He chuckles and pulls me closer, but I put a hand to his chest and push him away, holding him at an arm’s distance. “Teach me how to fight back, Luci. Teach me how to use a gun. I don’t ever want to feel defenseless again.”
He flinches and looks me over. “I thought you hated firearms.”
“I do. But being around you, I’m figuring I need to make peace with them.”
“You want to be my gangster wife?”
My head suddenly spins. “Wife?”
“What the fuck, Chloe, did you think we’d live in sin? I was brought up a Catholic boy.”
“Luciano Salvatore, you are sin incarnated.”
“That I am, future Mrs. Chloe Salvatore. That I am. And so are you. Let me show the world that you are my woman.”
He rises and pulls me to my wobbly feet, then he goes down on one knee and takes my hand. “I hadn’t prepared this, but there is no time like the present. We’ll go find you a giant diamond ring tomorrow. Chloe Becker, will you do me the greatest honor and be my wife?”
My chest aches, a good ache. I finally found that connection I have looked for my whole life. I found that special someone who tore down my walls, who pushed and prodded until he discovered the real me, who fills my life with excitement and who never lets me get bored. He doesn’t only accept Christine and my sordid past, he loves every part of it, still fascinated, still asking about it.
“Yes! I’ll be your queen and your whore.”
A beautiful smile spreads across his face. He squeezes my hand tighter. “I’ll always honor you and protect you.”
“Never let me go again.”
“I won’t.”
I sink to my knees before him and cup his cheeks, leaning my forehead against his. “I love you,” I whisper. “I’m here, I’m staying, and I love you.”
Epilogue
Angela Russo
The Russos are a weird ass family.
I can never tell any of my friends about my brothers Christian, Nathan, Matteo, and Luca, about my mother Bianca, or my uncle Luciano Salvatore. I can’t tell them about the ruthless enforcers Eric Reed, Ivan Sokolov, and all the others. How could I explain that they’re all part of a massive crime syndicate? How could I tell them about the illegal clubs across the country, prostitutes, money laundering, protection business, murder and mayhem? Uncle Luci would probably kill anyone I told anyway, so better to just keep my mouth shut.
I stay far away and I don’t ever go to San Francisco. Ever.
Except today I do.
Christian Russo is getting married. He’s my oldest brother, my protector, my idol, and the closest thing I have to a father. My real father was shot to death the same minute I drew my first breath. Christian is marrying his beautiful Kerry Jackson. She has changed his life. The tiny, timid woman has changed the lives of so many people.
I snuck into church, huddled in the crowd and cower next to Sydney Lewis-Russo. I’m intimidated as all hell by being here and extremely grateful for her presence. She and Nathan are the only ones I hang with regularly. They live in New York like I do. She tried juggling a hotel business in New Orleans, but it didn’t work out and she left it in the hands of her friend, remaining as a passive partner. Nathan traveled too much and then they started popping out tiny little Russos. Well, the one so far, Ava, but I swear there’s a new bun in that oven.
The vast church is filled with people. Some I know, and plenty I don’t know. Most of them are relatives from Sicily. I think Uncle chartered a Boeing and fucking emptied the island because they all seem to be here. I know a little Italian and catch the odd sentence here and there but mostly it’s an excited cacophony of voices that reaches the arched ceiling high above us.
I lean toward Sydney. “Is all this a little weird to you too?”
She laughs and looks around us. “It’s the Russos. Extravagant, dominant, larger than life. And owning the world. What did you expect?”
I roll my eyes and make a non-committal sound. “So how are you liking the Big Apple? Settling in?”
She turns her doe-like green eyes on me. “I finally beat the bachelor pad feeling out of the loft. It’s mine now. I’m notorious. I can’t help decorating. Nathan gave up I think.”
Nathan, standing a few feet away, looks up at hearing his name and I feel like the fifth wheel all of a sudden as their eyes meet. There’s love there. They adore each other. Seeing my model-like player of a brother transform into a doting husband and father has been a blast. He was fun to be around before, but it’s triple the fun now, with cheery, fun-loving Sydney, and the kid. I’m looking forward to babysitting their brood for years to come.
Christian stands a little to the side, in front of the altar. He’s absolutely still, devastatingly handsome in his black tux, his hair pulled back in a tail, enhancing his strong features. He looks a little rough, like someone you wouldn’t want to meet in a dark alley, but when he turns on his warmth, when he gives you his heart, you know you’re safe and loved and that he won’t let anyone hurt you. I’m so happy Kerry and he made sense of their fucked up beginning and that they found each other again. He almost killed her, the fucker, on orders from Uncle of course. But before that he had flirted with her and somewhere in all this, they made a baby. I guess that can happen when boy meets girl and there’s not only a meeting of souls, but a bumping of pelvises too and everyone is being moronic all around. She fled, like any sane person would do. He chased after her and finally they sorted everything out after him nearly dying. I know it, because I spent all my free time by his side at the hospital. This is his and Kerry’s day, and they both deserve the happiness. I know I’m gonna bawl my eyes out and ruin my makeup.
Next to Christian stand Nathan, Matteo, and Luca, the three dashing groomsmen. They all look expectantly toward the church entrance, caught up in the moment.
Behind me sits David Salvatore with his mom, Carmen. She’s a drop dead gorgeous little Latina in her late twenties. I’m not sure of the story of her and Uncle, but I don’t think they were together, I think she was just one of his never-ending string of playmates. She smiles warmly at me as our eyes meet.
“Angela Russo?”
I nod. “Hi, how did you know?”
Her smile widens. “Chica. Did you look in the mirror? You look just like your brothers, only prettier.”
I blush. Well, fine. She has a point. “Is it just the two of you?” I nod at her and David.
“Oh yes. I don’t think my husband would set foot here even if they paid him billions. He was happy to stay home.”
“Fair enough,” I say, then I freeze and listen. My heart leaps to my throat as the church bells start ringing. The whole congregation goes silent simultaneously. Everybody stands and looks to the heavy oak doors expectantly, necks arching, straining to see the first glimpse of the bride.
Mendelssohn suddenly fills the church, the well-known tune bouncing between the stone walls. It’s time. First come the three bridesmaids, wearing long pale pink dresses
in three different designs. I have never seen any of them and I assume they’re Kerry’s friends. Two tall blonde girls and one shorter with black hair. One of the blondes waves to a dark-haired woman in the congregation as she passes her. They all exchange gazes with Christian as they walk up to the altar and position themselves. Then come the mothers, side by side. My mom Bianca, and Kerry’s mom. They stride gracefully, as if they own the church, taking their time before they settle on each side of the aisle. It seems as if our side of the family also fills the bride’s side. Kerry’s relatives are heart-breakingly few. Well, she’ll have a giant family after this.
There’s an awed sound leaping through the crowd, a few claps and a couple of hoots. My heart picks up pace. Little Cecilia, Kerry and Christian’s child, walks much too fast, dressed in dark pink, looking like a princess, her silky brown hair curled and bouncing around her head. She dutifully spreads rose petals all over as she walks up to her father, running the last few feet and throwing herself around his legs. He smiles and lifts her high in the air, carrying her to Bianca. Then he straightens and gasps, looking down the aisle. I turn my head and there’s the bride, led by Uncle. Her dress is simple, creamy white thick silk, flat over her chest, shoulders bare, sleek around her waist and hips and with a long train. There’s nothing nervous about her. She has a shit-eating grin on her face and seems unfazed by walking next to the biggest crime boss on the West Coast. My stomach clenches as I take him in. I haven’t seen him in years. He has threatened to marry me away and force me to be part of the family. It would kill me. I am building a career as a photographer in New York. I just won’t follow his command. Meeting him today scares me to death, but I do it for my brother.
There are more hoots and claps from the Sicilians. Then Uncle delivers Kerry to Christian and the ceremony begins.
Tears stream down my cheeks as they make their promises and say their speeches. They talk of hardships and of love larger than life. They promise each other to never let go, to always honor and protect, that their love will last an eternity. I believe it. These two are made for each other.
“I now pronounce you husband and wife. You may kiss the bride.”
Kerry disappears in Christian’s arms. He sweeps her off her feet and turns his back to us. All we see is parts of her dress. The bridesmaids giggle. The rest of us stand, clap and finally begin to shout at them. It’s adorable, crazy, and very Christian.
Kerry blushes profusely as they walk out. Christian winks at me and I give him a thumbs up. Cecilia hops before them and makes little pirouettes, swinging the basket, completely out of petals.
Church stairs, rice throwing, an old Ford Model T taking them to the party. I sense a presence to my left and look up to see Uncle right beside me. My stomach clenches.
“Angela. How nice of you to join us. I have been meaning to catch up.”
“Uncle,” I say stiffly, my mouth dry. One of the bridesmaids slides up next to him and he lays an arm around her waist, pulling her to him. I widen my eyes. I had no idea there was someone in his life. Or is she just his fuck for the night? He’s a wicked man and it wouldn’t surprise me if he had simply ordered one of the girls to his bed.
“Chloe,” he says. “Meet my little stray of a niece, Angela. She is the youngest of the Russo siblings, the little sister of all the bad boys.”
Chloe extends a hand and gives me a surprisingly hard handshake. “How nice to finally meet you,” she says.
My smile is strained as I mumble a greeting back, feeling utterly sorry for her to be in his claws. But then I frown as I take them in. There’s warmth in his gaze as he looks at her, and when she tilts her head up to look at him, there’s adoration on her face. Maybe she isn’t a playmate for the night? Did Uncle actually find someone? That’s new. What does this mean?
The crowd moves and Salvatore looks up. “Time to celebrate,” he says. “We will talk later, you and I.”
And—the clenching in my stomach is back.
Salvatore turns and goes down on one knee, smiling at David who bumps a fist to Salvatore’s chest. He grins and looks up at Chloe before he stands and gives Carmen a wink.
“Catch you later. Thank you for taking him.”
Carmen throws her hands up. “Of course, Luci. Have a nice rest of the night.” She turns to Chloe. “Keep him on the straight and narrow. Don’t let him take over. This isn’t his party.”
“Oh, that’s an impossible task. He thinks all parties are his.”
Salvatore frowns. “Women! Always ganging up on me.”
I’m amazed by the exchange. When did this happen? How dare they be so mouthy with the monster?
Carmen waves at me. “Nice to see you. Hope to catch you some other time, Angela.” Then she gestures for David to come with her and they sneak through the crowd, disappearing out of sight.
Uncle claps his hands to get everybody’s attention.
“Time to move! There are transports around the corner.”
I’m already moving, hurrying away.
The party is at Uncle Salvatore’s mansion. I’ve never set foot here and gawk at the displays of his wealth, the art on the walls, the antiquities, the high ceilings and the vast rooms, one after the other. There’s much more to the house than is visible from the street, and the garden is amazing. It’s colorful and lively in parts, and serene with nothing but lawn and trees in parts. It has a space for every mood.
There’s mingling, drinks, more mingling. I get to practice my rusty Italian and am introduced to Kerry’s other two bridesmaids. I stick to Luca and Matteo as if I’m glued to their sides. Neither of us have brought our plus one, because there is none, and I’m intimidated as all hell by being here.
“Is this the long-lost sister?”
A woman’s voice behind me makes me spin on my heels. Behind me stands an enigma of a couple, seemingly too different to ever be a match. He’s tall and blond, with light green eyes that have a cold and calculating look to them. I hide the shudder. Eric Reed. I know of this man. I met him a few times when I was little. He’s one of the worst. He and Christian were the most feared hitmen in Uncle’s army before Christian had to step down. The person who spoke, a woman with dark-blonde hair and warm brown eyes, widens her smile and gives me her hand.
“I’m Anna,” she says. “You’re Angela, right? So happy to see you. I’ve heard so much about you?”
I take her hand, hesitantly, glancing between her and Eric. “Hi. What have you heard about me?”
Eric shakes my hand too and I swallow hard. My hand disappears in his large paw. He doesn’t miss that he rattles me and smiles a predatory grin. Anna’s eyes dart between us, then she nudges Eric with her elbow.
“Behave, Reed!”
He sneaks an arm around her waist. “Yes, ma’am.” She giggles and slaps his arm.
Christian makes his way through the crowd and throws his arms around me. “I’m so sorry for not talking to you yet, Angel! Everyone wants a word it seems. Is this man bothering you?” He looks over at Eric and then back at me.
“I-I don’t know yet.”
Eric laughs and his whole face transforms. There’s warmth, he even looks somewhat sweet. “I haven’t had the chance yet,” he answers and winks at me. Anna looks at him adoringly and suddenly I totally see the appeal.
“Well behave, dude, or I’ll have your ass.”
“You’re always out for my ass,” he retorts.
“Who wants whose ass?” says a light, slightly husky voice to my left. Kerry Jackson, no it’s Kerry Russo now, has snuck up on us. Christian wraps her in his arms and holds her tight. A wheeze escapes her. “You might want to give me a pinch of air,” she says with a cough.
“No, Mrs. Russo. I’m never letting you go again.”
“Get a room,” says Anna. She joins the hug and throws her arms around both Kerry and Christian. Christian ruffles her hair affectionately. Anna turns to me. “Did you know these two tried to kill me once? Silly men.” She cocks her head to Eric and then
Christian.
I frown. I had an inkling but… that’s just crazy.
“I’m in that weird ass club too,” says Kerry, peeking out from Christian’s embrace.
That, I did know. Christian has made amends a thousand times over, and it kind of seems as if Anna got over her experience too.
“You all seem… very comfortable with that.” I shake my head. “I have the most fucked up family on the planet.”
“But we love you to bits, Angel,” says Christian. “Never forget that.”
Anna takes my hands. “We’ll take care of you, Angela. I promise.” She looks at Eric who nods.
A flushed Kerry frees herself from the hug and takes my hand. “I know we don’t know each other that well yet, but I promise it will change. I’m so happy you came.”
“Of course,” I say. “You take good care of my brother now.”
“Oh yes. That I will.”
Christian kisses her on the top of her head as someone claps their hands loud enough to silence everyone. Uncle stands on a chair and holds up his arms.
“People, the happy couple, Sicilianos, and all you freeloaders who snuck in, dinner is about to be served. To the tables!”
“Not many get away with almost killing Christian Russo. Twice.” Luca grins and winks at Kerry who looks mortified. She glances at Salvatore as Christian gives her hand a squeeze, mouthing something to her.
“Oh, shut your piehole, bro,” says Matteo.
Luca slaps him on the head. “Anyway. I like booze. There seems to be plenty here, so I’ll cut this short.” He raises his glass. “Saluti, Christian and Kerry. May you keep popping many kids and live disgustingly happy.”
“Oh my God, Luca,” I say.
“Hey!” he answers at the same time as a couple of hundred people shout their saluts and clap.
“You belong in a zoo, you freak.”
He sticks out his tongue at me and I flip him off discreetly.
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