“That kiss,” I whispered as I rolled over and hugged a pillow and stared out the window. “That kiss.”
I closed my eyes and felt myself starting to drift off to sleep.
Tap. Tap. Tap.
Rolling over, I looked outside and gasped.
“Nolan Byers!” I hissed as I got up and opened my bedroom window. “What in the heck are you doing?”
He smiled. “I’ve come to take you on a picnic, a little early birthday celebration. You only turn eighteen once.”
I attempted not to smile or melt to the floor with this romantic gesture. “A picnic? At two in the morning?”
A wicked smile spread across his face. “I could come into your room, if you prefer? Don’t think your folks would appreciate that, though.”
Chewing on my lip, I ran back to the bedroom door, locked it, and then turned to see Nolan climbing in through the window.
“If my daddy catches you here, he will kill you.”
Nolan reached out and pulled me to him. He cupped my face in his hands and kissed me as he laid me down onto the bed.
“Nolan,” I whispered as I felt him move his hand up my leg.
“Do you want me to make love to you or take you on a picnic, Linz?”
I fumbled with his jeans as he laughed softly.
“Condom?” I panted as he pulled one out of his pocket and worked at getting it on as I yanked my t-shirt over my head. Thirty seconds later, he slipped inside me.
“Nolan!” I gasped, nearly coming on the spot.
“Be quiet, Linz,” he whispered in my ear as he moved slowly in and out. “I’ll make you come, baby, but don’t make a sound.”
I shot up in bed and gasped for air. My entire body was wound up, and I was extremely hot. I was so turned on just from a dream. I turned my head to look at the window, then to my bedroom door, then back to the window. I felt my pulse everywhere in my body, and realization hit me as I covered my mouth with my hand. That was most certainly not a fantasy, and it wasn’t a dream…but a memory. All those dreams I’d been having, they were actually memories of Nolan.
Throwing my legs over the side of my bed, I looked at the window once more. I stood and made my way over to it and stared out into the night.
“Oh, dear God. I’m starting to remember. Being back home, it’s all coming back.”
The next morning, I walked into the kitchen to find my parents both standing there, neither of them speaking. My mother was looking at her computer, while my father read the newspaper. I had to smile. I didn’t even know they still delivered the newspaper.
“Happy Sunday,” I said as I reached over and grabbed one of the blueberry muffins on the table.
They both looked up at me and smiled.
My mother was the first to speak. “Good morning, Linnzi. How did you sleep?”
If I answered her truthfully, I would have said like shit. That I had only gotten about four hours, if that. Instead, I replied, “Like a baby.”
“That’s good,” Mom said as she glanced over at my father.
For hours last night I lay in my bed and tried to figure out why everyone had kept Nolan a secret from me. What had happened that no one felt they could tell me the truth.
“You didn’t talk much about the party when you got home,” my mother said. “How was it?”
I smiled. “It was fun. Half the people there knew me, and I barely remembered them, if I remembered them at all.”
My father nodded. “It’s got to be hard.”
I shrugged. “I actually did meet someone…well, meet isn’t the right word. Nolan Byers?”
They both smiled, but I could see the look of panic in their eyes. Neither said anything.
“I got the strong impression I knew him well.”
My mother nodded. “Yes, you did.”
I lifted a brow. Finally, were they going to tell me something about my past?
“Do you have any memories of Nolan?” my father asked. I couldn’t help but notice he had the same fearful look in his eyes that Nolan had had yesterday. I could tell them I had been having memories of Nolan, but I wasn’t ready yet. I wanted to keep this to myself for now.
“No. Besides this overwhelming feeling that we were close, no memories.”
Both of their shoulders sagged, and I wasn’t sure if it was in relief or disappointment.
“You were close,” my mother said. “You, um…you dated him.”
“I figured,” I said. “Did we break up?”
My parents exchanged a brief look and then focused back on me.
My father cleared his throat, then said, “I think Nolan needs to be the one to tell you, if you don’t remember.”
With a nod, I replied, “Okay. Well, he’s picking me up at nine.”
Neither of them seemed the least bit surprised, which led me to believe that they already knew about my date somehow.
“Oh, that’s nice. What are y’all planning on doing?” my mother asked.
I shrugged. “I’m not sure. Nolan texted me and told me to wear jeans and boots.”
My father chuckled. “Well, Nolan is a good guy; I’m sure he’ll make it a fun day for you.”
“So you like him, then?”
Their eyes both widened in shock. “Yes. We adore Nolan, he’s like a—”
My mother’s words cut off quickly.
“Like a what?” I asked.
She smiled as she continued to speak. “You had a number of close friends in high school, Linnzi. They were always here at the house, it seemed like. They all felt like our kids, I guess you could say.”
All I could do was nod. Then, the doorbell rang, and I nearly jumped up out of my seat.
“Goodness!” my mother said with a nervous chuckle.
“Sorry, it scared me.” I turned and headed out of the kitchen and to the front door. When I opened it, I nearly tripped over my tongue trying to speak.
“Good gracious,” I whispered as I took in the sight in front of me. Nolan stood there dressed in jeans, a black t-shirt that accented his wide upper body and trim waist very nicely, and a baseball cap. He was holding flowers. Not one, but two bouquets of pink roses.
“Overkill with the flowers?” Nolan asked, a crooked smile forming ever so slowly.
“No! It’s only. Well, you’re so…”
A single brow rose as he asked, “So?”
I swallowed hard then shook my head. “Nothing. Come in.”
Nolan walked into the house and handed me one of the bouquets of flowers. My mother walked up and gasped. “Nolan, sweetheart.”
When she hugged him, I took a step back. I wasn’t sure why I was surprised by their closeness; my mother had just said Nolan had spent a lot of time at the house.
Nolan handed my mother the roses. “You look beautiful, Amy.”
She blushed. She actually blushed. My father then walked up and shook Nolan’s hand. “You staying safe, son?”
Son?
“Trying my best, sir.”
“What planes are you flying now?” Dad asked as he and Nolan fell into the easiest conversation ever.
“Right now it’s been the F-22 Raptors.”
I made a mental note to look that plane up and learn what I could about it.
“How many missiles does that one hold?”
“Six on the main weapons bay, the side weapons bay holds one each.”
My father grinned like a little boy. “There’s a gun on there, correct?”
Nolan chuckled. “M61A2 20-mm multibarrel cannon. Holds four-hundred-and-eighty rounds.”
“Nice,” my father said with a nod of his head as I rolled my eyes. I was pretty sure my mother did as well.
“Yeah, it’s a fun plane to fly.”
“I’d love to see that baby in action.”
Nolan pulled out his phone. “I’ve got a video of me flying one.”
I nearly ran over to where they were standing. Too much? Probably. But I didn’t care.
“Let me tak
e these and put them in water,” my mother said as she took the flowers out of my hand.
“Thank you, Mom,” I said as I watched Nolan flip through his phone. I wasn’t going to lie, I was also looking to see if there were photos of any women on there.
My father stood on one side of Nolan, and I stood on the other. Nolan hit play, and I watched a fighter jet taking off down a runway. It had barely gotten into the air before it immediately went straight up.
“Wow!” my father and I both said.
It turned upside down and started to fly straight back down. Then, it twisted three times and I grabbed onto Nolan’s arm as I gasped.
The next video showed the jet go up, and then it damn near looked like it stopped in mid-air and started to fall before it turned and began flying again.
“How many Gs will it pull?” Dad asked.
“Max, nine-point-six, but the most we pull is nine.”
“Nine?” I asked, completely stunned at how nonchalant he acted.
Nolan nodded, then looked back at the video when my father called, “Holy shit!”
“Why are you flying…so…” I stuttered.
“Crazy?” my father said.
“It’s my job. I have to push the jet to its limits. Trust me when I say this is nothing. This plane can do a hell of a lot more than this.”
“You’re falling!” I said as I gripped his arm harder.
He looked at me and smiled. “No, I’m not, Linz.”
Then it showed someone standing under the plane as it came in and landed.
“I’ve also got one of me flying from inside the cockpit,” Nolan said.
“Let me see it!” I said as I shook his arm, clearly nervous and excited about watching another video of him in action.
With a laugh, he pulled up a video. I stood there in awe as I watched him soar up and then rotate the plane. “How do you not get dizzy?” I asked.
“How in the hell do you not pass out?” my father asked.
Another shot of Nolan going straight up, and then he leveled out and the horizon looked beautiful.
“I bet it’s beautiful up there,” I whispered.
Nolan nodded. “It is.”
“So, kids, what’s on the agenda today?” my mother asked as she walked back over to us.
Nolan quickly pushed his phone into his pocket as I let go of his arm. He grinned like a schoolboy trying to charm his teacher. It was adorable. “I thought we’d go for a ride.”
“Oh my God…yes! In a plane?” I asked, my voice filled with excitement.
The three of them froze. They literally froze. Nolan’s face went white as a ghost, and for a moment I thought for sure he was going to pass out.
“What’s wrong with y’all?” I asked as my eyes bounced between the three of them.
My mother was the first one to speak. “Ah, um, nothing, nothing at all. Nolan, what other plans did you have?”
I could feel my brows draw in the more confused I became. Nolan looked like he was about to be sick.
“Nolan?” I asked, reaching out and touching his arm. He jumped and then looked at me. “Are you okay? You looked so far away.”
“What?” he asked, his voice slightly shaky. “No. Sorry. We’re going horseback riding. On my family’s ranch.”
It was clear the mood needed to be lightened—and fast. “I just said to Saryn I needed to get on a horse soon, so this is perfect,” I said with a smile. “I haven’t been riding in I don’t know how long.”
“That’s wonderful,” my mother said, a forced timbre to her voice.
Daddy smiled and gave Nolan a light slap on the back. “You still got that stallion old man Peters kept asking to buy off your daddy?”
Nolan cleared his throat and laughed, but everything about the moment seemed so forced. I turned to look at my mother, and she winked at me, then reached for my hand and squeezed it. She leaned in and whispered, “Bad memory, I’m sure. He lost both of his parents.”
“Oh,” I whispered as I wondered if they had died in a plane wreck. I leaned in so only my mother could hear me. “Plane?”
“No, car.”
I stepped back and tried to figure out the connection. I gave up when Nolan turned and looked at me. The light was back in his blue eyes. When he smiled at me just then, I seemed to forget everything.
“Ready?”
“I am.”
Nolan gave me a once-over and asked, “Do you have a jacket to bring? The temperature might drop.”
“I do! Let me go grab it upstairs.”
And off I went to grab a coat, my mind still questioning what in the world just happened in that room.
Nolan
THE SECOND SHE ran up the stairs, I reached out for something to hold onto. It just so happened to be Steve.
“It’s okay, Nolan,” he said.
“Oh, Christ,” I gasped as I rubbed my chest. “God, I’m so tired of this.”
Amy stood in front of me and reached for my hand. “I called Dr. Overton. I told him what was happening.”
I glanced back over at the steps.
“He seems to think if she hasn’t regained any memories yet, she most likely won’t. Especially since she saw you.”
“She knows we were more than friends,” I whispered.
“I know. But we’ve come this far, Nolan.”
I swallowed hard and gave Steve one quick nod of my head to let him know I was okay.
“It was one thing walking away from her. Not telling her the truth,” I said. “I can’t lie to her, Amy. I can’t.”
She placed her hand on the side of my cheek. “Follow your heart, Nolan. No matter what happens, we’re here for both of you.”
The sound of Linnzi coming back down the steps caused all of us to take a few steps away from one another.
“Got my jacket, and I’m ready to go!”
She looked adorable. She had put a baseball cap on when she went upstairs and pulled her hair though the back of it. I stared at the cap in shock.
“What’s wrong? Do you not like the hat?” she asked, touching the brim.
“No, it’s just…that’s my old high school baseball hat,” I said before I thought better of it.
She raised a brow and quirked her mouth up on one side. “Another piece of the puzzle.”
“Puzzle?” Amy asked.
Linnzi laughed, kissed her mother and father on the cheeks, and said, “Private joke, Mom!”
I placed my hand on the small of Linnzi’s back and guided her out of the house.
As we headed down toward my truck, Linnzi looked at me. “Can I ask you a question, Nolan?”
I opened the passenger door and held her hand as she climbed up into my father’s old truck. “Of course you can.”
“Did you fly your own plane home?”
“Here, to Boerne?”
She laughed. “Yes, here.”
“I did. Why?”
She shrugged. “I was curious, that’s all.”
I walked around the back of my pickup and took in a few deep breaths before I climbed into the cab and started up the truck and turned to face Linnzi. With a smirk, I said, “I’ve got more planned than simply riding. You threw the gauntlet down on me last minute, so…”
A brilliant smile lit up her face. “Are you going to tell me the plans?”
I started down the driveway as I spoke. “I thought we would start with a quick car ride around the ranch so I could check on a few things. I’m only in town a couple of days, and I need to make sure a few things are taken care of before I leave.”
She frowned. “If you need to take care of things, we don’t have to…”
“I want you with me. It’s been too long since…”
I let my voice trail off, and for some reason, Linnzi didn’t press to find out what I was going to say.
“After that we’ll head to the barn and go for a horseback ride,” I said. “I’ve arranged to have a picnic waiting for us at a spot on the ranch my father used as a
hunting cabin.”
“Have I ever been there before?” she asked.
“Yes, many times.”
She frowned, and I couldn’t help but notice the disappointment in her eyes when I looked at her. She stared out the window and didn’t speak for a few minutes. The silence wasn’t awkward or uncomfortable. It was…it was like old times. She finally spoke as I pulled up to the gate of the ranch. “This is your ranch, huh?”
“It is,” I said as I clicked the gate opener.
“Cattle, right?”
I nodded.
“What type of cows do you have here?”
“Black Angus, Hereford, Limousin, and my father had a love for Texas Longhorns.”
“All for beef, I take it?”
I nodded. “Yeah. My mother used to have some Holsteins. She grew up on a dairy farm and liked having them here.”
“You don’t have them anymore?” she asked.
“We have a few; I don’t breed them like the others.”
“So, they’re pets?”
I laughed. “I guess you could say that. They’re spoiled as fuck.”
We drove down the long drive and past the house.
“That’s your house?” she asked.
Coming to a stop, I looked over at the two-story, white ranch house that had been in my family for four generations now.
“Yes, it’s not fancy, and it’s been in the family since my great-grandfather built it. He moved here from Arkansas to raise cattle.”
“It’s adorable!” she said, staring at it.
Pulling off, I replied, “I’ll give you a tour later.”
Linnzi turned her head and watched it as I drove down one of the roads that led to the main barn. “Oh, look at the cows!” she gushed. “They’re so cute!”
As we drove by, a few of them lifted their heads to see who was disturbing their morning munches. “They’re cute, but they’re also very tasty.”
She turned her head and looked at me, a snarl on her face. “They’re so beautiful! I don’t think I could eat them after raising them.”
I laughed. “Trust me, I can eat them with no guilt at all. They live a good life and when, or if, they get slaughtered, it’s done in a humane way.”
“Ugh. You just went down a notch in my books.”
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