Superb and Sexy

by Jill Shalvis

  At an utter loss for words, he just stared at her. “What is it with you and the whole real world thing? Maybe I want to be held to something. You ever think of that?”

  “No. Listen, I’m too tired for this.” She pulled free. “I told you about Leena’s message because I do understand that we’re more than boss and employee. I just don’t have time or brainpower to figure out what exactly that more is. So go home, Brody. Get some sleep. You have a wicked schedule over the next few days.”

  “I have nothing more pressing than this.”

  “This being . . .”

  “Getting you what you wanted—showered, fed, and some sleep.” And then, using a patience that was rapidly going thin, he ushered her down her own hall to the bathroom. When he heard the shower go on, he turned to the kitchen. His cooking skills were limited, but he was a master at takeout, so he ordered a pizza to be delivered.

  He went back to the bathroom, stood with his hand on the handle, debating with himself.

  Go in and make sure she was okay, or stand guard outside the door in order to keep his hands off her . . .

  She’d locked it. Not that that would have stopped him if he’d been needed, but apparently, he wasn’t. Which left him standing there, listening to the shower like a man who cared far too damn much, and wasn’t that just a bitch.

  His cell phone buzzed. “Hey,” he said to Noah, ear cocked for any excuse to break into the bathroom. “Didn’t I just talk to you?”

  “Yeah.”

  Brody waited, but Noah was not forthcoming with the reason for this call. “Is there something you needed?”

  “Sort of.”

  Brody sighed. There was no rushing Noah. Ever.

  “Are you okay?” Noah finally asked.

  “Why wouldn’t I be?”

  “Don’t know.”

  “I’m fine.”

  “Okay, good. Fine is good.” But Noah didn’t hang up. “You with Maddie?”

  The shower was still on. She was in there, wet. Soapy. Warm and glistening . . . “Yeah.”

  “She okay, too?”

  “Yes, she’s okay, too. Could you get to the point?”

  “I would if I knew exactly what was happening.”

  “I promised you I’d call if I need you guys, and I meant it.”

  “Okay.” But he paused. “I was just worried that you might get your heart stomped on, tough as that organ is.”

  The abrupt change of subject made him blink. “Huh?”

  “I know Maddie shot you down. She told me you two weren’t going to go anywhere with your attraction.”

  “And how does that translate to her shooting me down?”

  “Because there’s no way you shot her down.”

  “Nice.” Inside the bathroom, the shower went off. “Listen, my heart’s fine.” Sort of. “And I have to go.”

  “What are the two of you doing?”

  Well, he had no idea what Maddie was doing, other than driving him crazy. As for himself, he was keeping her gorgeous ass out of trouble. Keeping her safe. Because he could do that. And if while he was at it, he got his stupid heart broken, then he deserved that for opening it up in the first place. “Honestly? I have no fucking clue what we’re doing.”

  That was new. Normally, he knew. He always knew. He did whatever had to be done. It was what he did with women, and he sort of figured Maddie had the same policy with men. Get in, do whatever came to mind—which in this case, covered a lot of ground—and then get out.

  Only he didn’t want to get out . . .

  “Okay. Listen, man, just don’t get hurt.”

  Brody found a laugh. “A woman can’t hurt me.”

  “Right. Be careful. Take good care of her.”

  “I intend to.” Brody closed the phone and looked at the door. He’d do whatever it took. That was his plan. And then . . . hell. And then he’d get over her.

  And himself.

  Face tight with rage, Rick held Leena by the throat, her feet dangling off the ground by several inches. “You turned me in.”

  Leena clawed at his hands around her neck as her oxygen was cut off. “No! I didn’t. I wouldn’t!”

  “If I’m going down, Leena, you’re going down with me.”

  “No!”

  Rick merely tightened his grip, and with her last breath, Leena screamed.

  And then suddenly, it wasn’t Leena, but Maddie. Maddie being held off the ground, gasping for air, unable to draw any into her lungs to scream—

  “Maddie. Maddie, it’s me. Come on now. I’ve got you.”

  Still choking, her hands to her own neck, Maddie opened her eyes. She was curled into a fetal position in her own bed, dusk robbing the early evening of light. Brody was on the bed with her, fully clothed, on top of the covers, leaning over her. His mouth was grim with concern, his eyes leveled on hers. “You’re okay. I’ve got you. You’re home, you’re safe.”

  Heart still racing, she clutched at him, and he fell on top of her. She welcomed his weight because he was familiar. Big, strong. Hers.

  She had no idea where that thought came from because he wasn’t really hers at all and never would be. “Brody?”

  “Yeah.” Rolling to his side, he pulled her in. “Just you and me. No one else.”

  With a shaky exhalation, she relaxed against him. Or tried to. After her shower, he’d put her in bed, brought her pizza, then sat like a vigilante while she ate it. Then he’d tucked her beneath the covers. That had been the last thing she remembered before nodding off.

  But clearly, despite her explicit instructions, he’d never left.

  Somewhere in the back of her mind, she knew she should point that out, but she couldn’t find the breath for that at the moment, couldn’t find the breath for anything. She gingerly ran her fingers over her throat. “It felt so real.”

  He let out a long breath and tightened his arms on her. “It wasn’t.”

  No. The only real thing at the moment was him. And suddenly she knew—like Leena, she wanted her good-bye. Needed her good-bye, and she pressed her mouth to the side of his throat. “You smell good. You always smell good.”

  “Maddie—”

  She shoved up his shirt and kissed the center of his chest. “Here, too.” She inhaled deeply and sighed. She’d gone to bed in nothing but her towel, which she wriggled out of now.

  “Maddie—”

  “Are you going to turn me down?” Naked now, she hugged him, pressing her bare breasts to his torso.

  With a groan, he tried to pull free. But it was too late—she’d felt his reaction to her. “You want me.”

  “Yeah,” he said, his voice a little husky. “You need to ignore that. Some parts of my body have a mind of their own.”

  “Maybe I don’t want to ignore it.”

  “That’s not what you told Noah.”

  “I didn’t tell Noah I didn’t want to have sex with you.” Bicycling her legs, she kicked off the rest of her covers, then went to work on Brody’s clothes.

  He didn’t stop her. “I take it you’re over your bad dream.”

  “If I said no, would you make it all better?”

  Pushing the hair from her eyes, he looked at her, really looked, and like always, she got the feeling he saw more than anyone ever had. “I’d try.”

  “Then no,” she whispered. “I’m not over it.”

  “Come here,” he whispered back, even though she was already against him, and he pulled her closer, then closer still, then proceeded to make good on his promise, skimming a hand up from her belly to her breast, playing his fingers over her nipple while his other hand slid between her thighs.

  He was still looking into her face, letting her see what she did to him. She had no idea why that gave her a small rush, no idea at all, but she wriggled a little, eliciting a rough groan from him, and then she was the one groaning when he slid into her. With his arms wrapped around her, his tongue sliding to hers with the same rhythm that he was moving within her, and she realized somet
hing. He was making it all better, making her better, and when she was panting for air, gasping small, wordless pleas, rocking against him on the very edge, he murmured her name. Just her name in his voice that tore right through her defenses and snuggled into her heart.

  And that was it for her, that was all she could handle. She burst, and he was right with her.

  Just as he was always right with her . . .

  Brody opened his eyes and found himself all alone in Maddie’s bed. He glanced at the clock on the nightstand—only half an hour had passed. “Maddie?”

  Silence.

  Goddamnit. Leaping out of bed, he was simultaneously punching Leena’s cell number into his cell and stumbling around looking for his clothes when a sound in the doorway had him whipping around.

  Maddie stood there, wearing jeans and a halter top in the exact color of her baby blue eyes, a mug of tea in her hands, watching him with wry amusement.

  Butt-ass naked except for the pants he held in one hand and the cell phone in his other, he dropped both, put his hands on his hips and glared at her.

  Her eyes smiled.

  “Not funny.”

  Now she laughed out loud. “You should see it from my perspective.”

  “You’re standing there looking at a naked man and laughing. How in the hell am I supposed to put that in perspective?”

  She laughed again, and he just stared at her, realizing she did not do that nearly enough. It transformed her face, made her seem even younger, and frankly, stole his breath. “I thought you’d left,” he admitted.

  “I know.” Her smile slowly faded. “I almost did. But the truth is, I couldn’t do it to you.”

  Relief filled him, but it was short-lived.

  “I couldn’t just leave without telling you.”

  “Maddie.” He struggled to remain cool and calm when he really wanted to do that whole dragging-her-off-to-his-cave thing. “You know it’s just a trap.”

  “Yeah,” she agreed. “But I’m still going.”

  “Shit.”

  “I have to, Brody.”

  “Fine. What’s the plan?”

  “I’m going to wing it.”

  “Terrific.” He hated winging it. “I’m going with you.”

  “Why? We’re not a unit, not—”

  “Don’t say it. Don’t you dare say we’re not a unit in the real fucking world. Because we are. Especially when it comes to being stupid.” He strove for lighter. “Seriously, if you go solo now, you’ll just hurt my feelings.”

  “You told Noah that a woman can’t hurt your feelings.”

  A slow churning panic began low in his gut, along with the knot that had been there since she’d been shot, goddamnit. Because standing there stripped down to just the man and nothing else, the truth hit him in the chest with the force of a Mack truck.

  Noah had been wrong. He wasn’t going to get his heart stomped on.

  It’d already happened.

  Somehow, he’d come to care about her more than his carefully constructed world, more than his planes, more than his next breath. “I didn’t mean what I said to Noah about the whole not being able to get hurt thing.”

  “No? Well, I always mean what I say, and I told you from the very beginning this wasn’t real.”

  “Okay, I have no idea how we got so off track here, but you have to promise me that you won’t do anything foolish without me.”

  She sipped her tea and said nothing.

  “Maddie.”

  “Why?” she asked.

  “Why? What kind of question is that?”

  “A valid one. Why does all of this matter to you so damn much?”

  He stared at her, let out a low laugh, and shoved his fingers in his hair. “Because.”

  “Because? Your answer is because?”

  “Because . . .” Ah, hell. He had nothing left to lose. “Because I love you, damn it.”

  Her eyes went wide as saucers, and she took a step back, nearly falling on her ass in her haste to put distance between herself and the crazy naked guy. She smacked up against the wall and held on to it like a lifeline. “What?”

  “Yeah, and I can see that just makes your day.”

  “Are you kidding? I just told you that this wasn’t real, and your response is I . . . I . . . I—”

  “You can’t even say the word?” he asked incredulously, clutching his clothes to his suddenly aching gut.

  “What is more unbelievable is that you can.” She set down her tea, picked up his pants and threw them at him. “Don’t look at me like I’m an alien, all right? It’s nothing personal. I just don’t put much into that word, that’s all.” She found his shirt and threw that at him, too, which he caught after it hit him in the face.

  “What does that even mean, you don’t put much into the word. It’s a pretty damn big word.”

  She tossed him his shoes. “Forget it.”

  “Are you kidding? I can’t forget it.”

  “Okay, fine.” She straightened her spine. “It means I don’t love you back.” Then she softened, her eyes misting. “I’m sorry.”

  But not sorry enough, apparently, because she didn’t take any of it back. “Wow,” he said, staggered. Destroyed by words. He’d never have believed it possible.

  “Not personal,” she repeated more softly, turning to the door. “I’m assuming you no longer want to come with me.”

  “Oh, I’m going.”

  Slowly, she craned her neck his way. “Huh?”

  He smiled grimly at her shock. Had no one ever stuck with her through thick and thin? Through pissiness and foolishness? “Hell, yeah. I’m going.”

  She closed her eyes and then opened them and nodded her head.

  He nodded his back and then watched her walk out of the room. Standing there holding his clothes, he shook his head. He had no idea what he’d expected to happen here, but it hadn’t been to blurt out his feelings, and it sure as hell hadn’t been that she’d throw those words back at him the same as she’d done with his clothes. He hated that she’d so easily dismissed the words and the emotion behind them simply out of fear, because for him, they were as real as the air in his lungs.

  Unfortunately, he was breathing that air all on his own.

  Chapter 27

  Leena was tired of pacing her bedroom. Tired of Ben watching her pace. And she was especially tired of being afraid. She let out a frustrated, shaky breath and took another lap around the room. “Tired of it,” she muttered.

  “Tired of what?”