Stay With Me, Julia

by Elle Linder

  Where does all the money go?

  He looked around the house some more. Renee hadn’t redecorated or bought expensive jewelry, and she didn’t have a new car or a fancy wardrobe. The pantry wasn’t even bursting out of the seams with food. In fact, he had run to the store to restock the pantry after Brice had complained about not having snacks to eat one day after school.

  Where was she spending her money?

  It was time he had a little chat with the latest Hamill who was in deep shit. He went down the hallway to Heather’s room, knocked on the door, and entered without waiting for her to say, “come in.”

  “Hey!” she cried.

  “Hey yourself, princess. Let’s talk.” He sat at the end of her bed. She had her iPad in her lap, doing who knew what, and just then, he didn’t really care. “I’m leaving Monday back to Idaho after the meeting with your principal. You know that, right?”

  “Yeah, I know. And?” she said in a snarky tone.

  “Watch yourself.” He shot her a stern look. “Tell me where you got the weed. And, so you know, revealing your source won’t get you in more trouble.”

  “Just some guy. I already said I won’t buy anymore.”

  “Where did you get the money to buy it in the first place?”

  “Lunch money…Christmas money.” She shrugged.

  He searched her eyes for the truth. He paid for her lunches automatically online. She hadn’t used lunch money to buy the weed.

  Then he remembered taking her shopping with her Christmas money during his last visit. “Heather, why are you lying to me? I’m only trying to keep you and other kids safe.”

  “Keep me safe? How do you plan to do that from…thousands of miles away? Do you think seeing you a few times a year is enough? Do you? You have no idea what goes on around here, and I don’t think you really care! Especially now that you have a girlfriend!”

  Heather was a typical teen, who apparently had read How-To Hurt Your Parents for Dummies. She succeeded in making Luke feel like the worst father on the planet.

  “Listen to me; I do care what goes on here. Why do you think I flew out the same day your mom called? I love you and Brice very much. There’s nothing I wouldn’t do for you.” He ignored the comment about a girlfriend on purpose.

  “Except live in Juneau, where we live. If you lived here, we could stay with you and not have to be here.” Her voice dripped with disdain.

  “What goes on here when I’m in Idaho? Is your mom not taking care of you and Brice?”

  “She doesn’t care about us. All she wants to do is go out, and she leaves me to watch Izzy when Rick doesn’t have her. I’m tired of it. She isn’t even my sister!”

  “Yes she is. She’s your half-sister. Be nice to her. She’s just an innocent little girl,” he reprimanded. “Is there anything else bothering you?”

  Heather sat with her arms crossed defiantly, huffing and puffing. She had grown up, and he had missed it. Heather had green eyes with brown flecks just like his mother and dark brown hair, favoring his side more than Renee’s. Every time he saw her, she was more beautiful and more grown up. Her clothing had changed seemingly overnight—to become more revealing. As much as he tried to talk her out of wearing low-cut tops and skin-tight jeans, all it took was one look at Renee to know exactly who she modeled her style after. He would do anything to slow down time and keep her his little girl.

  They sat on her bed in silence for a while before she finally spoke. That was the thing about Luke; he could outtalk and outwait anyone. His patience while waiting for someone to break had been developed supremely by his military training. Heather would not be free of him until she talked.

  “If I tell you where I got the weed, what will you do to the person? They can’t get in trouble. I promised I wouldn’t tell where it came from.”

  Finally, she was on the verge of breaking her silence. Luke only needed to press a little harder. Again, his gut told him this wasn’t going to be good. If Heather wanted to protect her supplier, it had to be someone she cared about, so either her boyfriend or her mother. Boy, he hoped it was the boyfriend.

  “I’m just going to talk to them. I won’t turn them in,” he assured her.

  “Dad, I can’t out them. I just can’t.” Her eyes welled.

  “Sweetie, it’ll be okay.” He took her into his arms. “It’ll be okay.”

  “Why can’t you just stay here? Don’t go back to Idaho. Just stay here. It’s so much better when you’re here,” she begged through her sniffles.

  This was the worst part of his divorce—hurting his kids. No matter how hard he tried not to hurt them, he did. It sucked. If they weren’t involved, it would be so much easier.

  “I have responsibilities in Idaho too. I can’t just up and leave my job,” he explained.

  “It’s because of your new girlfriend, isn’t it? Mom said she was going to take you away from us and you’d forget about me and Brice.”

  Instantly, his blood boiled. What mother would tell her child that? He held Heather tighter. In the last several years, Luke had learned Renee rarely told the truth, but to lie to Heather? Why? Just to hurt him? It sickened him.

  “No, sweetheart, I don’t have a girlfriend, and I would never forget about you and Brice, never.” He lifted her chin to look her in the eyes. He didn’t want to lie to her. Weeks ago, he had decided to not tell the kids about Julia until he knew they would work. Now he had lied, and he hated it.

  “But what about the woman you said you missed on the phone? Wasn’t that your girlfriend?”

  “She told you that?”

  Heather nodded.

  Freaking Renee. “Okay, I’m going to talk to you like a grown-up. Do you think you can handle it?”

  She nodded.

  “I have been dating a woman recently. I like her, and yeah, I miss her.”

  “Is she nice and pretty?” Heather asked, drying her eyes.

  “Yeah, she’s really nice and beautiful.” He smiled down at her.

  “She’s your girlfriend, isn’t she?” She playfully nudged him. “I’m okay with that. I want you to be happy too. I want you to have someone that will make you smile just like you are right now talking about her.” What an astute girl. She was giving him the approval he hadn’t realized he needed. Her encouragement made his feelings for Julia more real than ever before.

  “Thanks, sweetie. She lives in L.A. and will only be in Idaho for a couple of months.”

  “She’s from California, like where the Kardashians live?”

  He nodded.

  “OMG! That’s so awesome! Can I meet her?”

  Luke chuckled. “Maybe. If things work out with us, I’ll see about having you come out during spring break. What do you think?”

  “Yes!” She squealed, hugging him tightly.

  “Now tell me. Who’s your supplier?”

  Luke waited for Renee in the living room. She was out with her girlfriends, giving him “time alone with the kids” before he left Monday. It was purely selfish, but he didn’t care. He preferred her gone when he visited. He heard the front door open and close. Then he listened to the clacking of her boots as she neared the kitchen. He stood just as she appeared. When their eyes met, the look on her face was telling.

  “Sit down,” he ordered calmly.

  “I’m tired and going to bed.”

  “Sit. Down. Now!”

  “What is this? You can’t tell me what to do,” she shot back but sat down just the same.

  He paced like a lion ready to pounce on his next meal. “How long have you been smoking weed?”

  “Since college. Is that what this is about?” She laughed at him. “It’s a recreational drug, Luke. I use it recreationally,” she mocked him and stood.

  He turned toward her, glowering until she sat back down. “What else are you using?” She stared at him. “Answer me goddammit!”

  “Nothing! What’s the meaning of this?”

  “If I find out you aren’t telling me the
truth, I will take the kids away from you and you won’t get so much as a penny from me,” he threatened. “I give you three thousand a month, and Rick gives you seven hundred for Izzy; why are you always broke?”

  “Aww, are you best buds again? You know what? I don’t give a shit if you are, just stay the hell out of my business! After you divorced me, you lost the right to ask me anything!”

  “When it involves my kids, it’s my business. I’m going to ask you one more question, and if you lie to me, so help me God, I will have you arrested in sixty seconds flat.” Her eyes widened with fear. She knew he could. “Did you give Heather the weed?”

  She stared at him a few beats. Then the tears exploded like a geyser. That was all the answer he needed.

  “You make me sick,” he said, seething.

  “It was just the one time! I’ll never do it again. I didn’t even know I did it until she got caught with it! You have to believe me, Luke. I swear I’ll never do it again. I didn’t know!”

  He stared at her; she had said so much more than she even realized. How did she not know she’d given Heather the weed? Weed wouldn’t have made her forget. “What else have you been using, Renee? You had to be on something stronger if you don’t remember giving our fourteen-year-old weed!”

  “I’m not using anymore. I stopped. Please don’t take the kids or have me arrested. Please, Luke,” she begged him.

  “I’m going to ask you one more time: what else are you using?”

  “Coke.” Her voice trembled. “But I’m not using anymore, I promise.”

  “Since when? Three days ago, when you flew into my lap uninvited? This is so much worse than I thought.” He paced in front of her, floored that she had been using cocaine.

  “I’ll do whatever you say. Please don’t take the kids. I’m not using anymore. You can look around the house. Search it. Call in the drug dogs. You won’t find anything.”

  “I already searched it,” he admitted. “I’m going to ask Rick to watch you. If you so much as light up a joint, that will be it. I already have your confession.” He exposed the wire he was wearing.

  Her jaw dropped. “You son of a bitch!”

  “Yeah, just keep your nose clean and we won’t have a problem.”

  No way was Julia going to The Peak tonight after getting more than a little tipsy last night. Instead, she was cozy in bed with a box of brownies and had Scandal queued up on her iPad. After finding out she’d sent Trent a text, Luke—and what she had declared—had remained on her mind.

  The only man I’m giving a chance is Luke. He’s a real man...he’s my Lumberjack.

  There were no truer words.

  She missed him. It was that simple. What was it about him that would make her want to consider being with him…and all his baggage? Was she just a fool? After texting Trent, it was possible.

  Her phone vibrated following that thought, and a small smile appeared on her face. Luke.

  “Hello?” she answered with a tinge of hesitation.

  “Hi. How are you?” The sound of his voice warmed her, but he didn’t sound right.

  “I’m okay. Are you? You sound off.”

  “It’s been rough out here, but I don’t want to talk about that right now. I want to know about you. Are you really okay?”

  She quickly debated whether or not to tell him about the text, but she couldn’t lie or hide it from him. “I guess I’m not.”

  “Wanna tell me about it?”

  Not really.

  She took a deep breath. “I got drunk last night, and then I drunk texted Trent,” she shamefully admitted.

  “Who’s Trent?”

  “My ex. I’m so angry at myself. It was stupid. Totally stupid. I never drink that much, and texting him… I shouldn’t have done that.”

  “It happens. Don’t be so hard on yourself.”

  “I appreciate that, but I said some things I’d like to take back.”

  “Yeah, alcohol has a way of bringing out a person’s true feelings.”

  “You’re telling me!” She stopped herself before she started babbling nonsense out of embarrassment over last night’s clusterfuck. She should have never gone to The Peak.

  What was it Erika had said? “Alcohol is of the devil.” Julia was a believer now.

  ***

  Silence filled the air between them, like neither was eager to say the next word.

  Shit, this isn’t good.

  Drunk texting an ex was never a good thing unless you wanted them back. The fact that Julia had admitted to calling her ex meant one thing, and Luke didn’t think his heart could take the rejection that was coming.

  “So, you want him back.” It wasn’t a question. Of course she did; why else would she have texted him?

  “I don’t want him back. I told him the only guy I was giving a chance was you…my Lumberjack,” she explained, but at this point, Luke had checked out and wasn’t listening.

  “I guess we’re over.” His deep voice was hardly audible. “I won’t stand in the way of your happiness.”

  “Luke! Didn’t you hear me? I want you…you.”

  He tried to register what she’d said, questioning whether he’d heard her right or not. Now was not the time to make a fool of himself.

  “Luke? Are you there?”

  “I’m here, but I’m not sure I heard you correctly. Say it again.”

  “Seriously? You’re going to make me repeat myself?”

  “Yes, I need to hear you say it again.”

  “I want you…Mr. Lumberjack.”

  “Sweetest words ever. You just turned my shitty day around.”

  “I’m sorry your day sucked. Anything I can do?”

  “You’ve already done it, giving me a chance.”

  “You’re not out of the doghouse just yet.”

  His heart screeched to a halt. “What do you mean?”

  “We have to figure out how we can work.”

  “But, baby—”

  “Just because I’ve admitted to wanting you doesn’t mean we’ll work. There’s a lot you didn’t tell me, and I’m worried there’s more about you I don’t know. Stuff that might change the way I feel about you.” She paused. He had the distinct feeling she had more to say, so he kept his mouth shut. “You can’t keep secrets from me, Luke. You can’t lie to me…ever. Lying is the fast way to losing me.”

  “I won’t lie to you, and I won’t keep secrets. When I get back, we’ll put everything out on the table…I promise.”

  “One more thing.”

  “Yeah?” He braced himself. This woman kept him on his toes, and damn him if he didn’t love every bit of it.

  “You’ve been gone seven days. That’s four more than you said you’d be gone, and we didn’t get to make love. You’ll have a lot to make up for…” Her voice had softened there at the end.

  He grinned as images of them naked in bed flashed in his head. “You’re right, I do. Don’t go easy on me. Make me work to earn your forgiveness.”

  She giggled.

  “I’m glad I took a chance calling you. In twenty-four hours, I’ll be back with you, and I’ll start paying penance for my delay. We’ll figure this out, baby. We will.”

  “I hope you’re right, Luke.”

  EIGHTEEN

  Making Up or Breaking Up

  Like a giddy schoolgirl waiting for her high school crush, Julia couldn’t stop smiling while hopping from one project to another. If she kept busy enough, maybe the day would be over in record time and Luke would be back from Alaska. The call reignited her feelings for him, which had never been gone, just guarded. She wanted to give them a chance, though it filled her with apprehension. There was so much more she needed to know about Luke, his ex-wife, and the kids.

  Swoony feelings and butterflies in her stomach didn’t mean a man was faithful. She wasn’t a fool, after all. Those were her romantic notions. Giving Luke a chance would be a massive step for her after Trent’s betrayal. And she hoped like hell that he wouldn’t b
reak her heart.

  With that thought, her phone buzzed. Lauren’s timing had always been impeccable. Julia’s stomach twisted as she answered the call.

  “Hi, doll, how are you?”

  “Hey, Julia Greene, what’s new?” Lauren asked in a business-like tone.

  “Julia Greene? What’s wrong?”

  “Oh, I don’t know. I guess finding out that my best friend is giving her lumberjack a chance, according to her ex. Were you ever going to tell me? Did I really have to find out about it from Trent?”

  Julia slapped her hand over her mouth. She should have called Lauren after drunk texting Trent, but she’d gotten busy. The truth was, she knew Lauren would try to talk her out of giving Luke a chance, and she didn’t want to hear it.

  “I’m sorry. I should have called you. I don’t have a good excuse. Did you run into him?”

  “No, he called the inn. I think he finally gets you’re really done with him. So, what happened?” Lauren demanded.

  “I drunk texted Trent the other night, and I told him how I hated him for screwing me up for other guys. Then I told him I was giving Luke a chance…my lumberjack. That’s basically it.”

  “What in the hell has gone on over there in the last week? And why haven’t you kept me in the loop? Are you staying in Idaho?” Julia didn’t answer right away. “Holy fuck—you’re staying, aren’t you?! I knew this would happen. I knew it! This royally sucks!” Julia pulled the phone away from her ear as Lauren’s shrill voice pierced her eardrum. “What kind of person ditches her best friend for a lumberjack, of all people! What about your home? What about your business? The life you had? Me!”

  One. Two. Three. Julia exhaled, waiting until Lauren calmed before she attempted to speak. “I’m sorry I haven’t kept you in the loop. So much has happened this last week, and I didn’t know how to bring it up. But one thing I know for sure is that April is still six weeks away. A lot can happen between now and then. Relax, okay? I haven’t decided to leave everything and you…yet.”