Trust in Me: A Fake Relationship Opposites Attract Romance (All I Want Book 4)

by Lea Coll

  He sighed and was quiet for so long I thought he wasn’t going to answer. Finally, he said, “I think you’re doing the right thing.”

  “Really?”

  “I hope it goes well and she gets help. For your sake, if nothing else.”

  I nodded, my heart growing cold at his words. He’d sympathized with my family situation, but had he missed me as much as I missed him?

  “I still want to be there for you. We were friends first right?” He offered me a tight smile and my stomach dropped. “Listen, I’d better get back to work.” He was already standing and getting ready to leave.

  “Thanks for meeting with me,” I said quietly.

  “Of course.” He hesitated, standing by the table. “Good luck with your family.”

  I said, “Thanks,” but I doubt he could hear my quiet voice. I watched him walk quickly away. I couldn’t stop the tears from sliding down my face. I’d gotten what I wanted but it wasn’t enough. A small part of me hoped he’d say he’d forgiven me and he wanted to try again. I’d told him my side of the story but I wasn’t sure it made a difference. There was nothing else I could do.

  And as usual, it was looking more and more like I’d have to stand on my own two feet with my family. I’d sealed my fate when I overhead students talking about the bet. I should have never told Bob about it. This would never have happened.

  A COUPLE WEEKS LATER, THE spring semester was over and I was gearing up to start my first online media course. It was scary and nerve-wracking and I couldn’t believe I was doing it. I hadn’t even talked to Sawyer about it. It seemed wrong not to share it with him when he’d been instrumental in developing the course. My fingers hovered over his name on my phone wondering if I should reach out to him. In the end, I couldn’t do it.

  We’d scheduled the intervention with my mom the first Friday Lindsey could come home. I walked into my parents’ kitchen where Dr. Hirsch, my dad, and Lindsey already waited.

  “Now, I spoke with Eleanor before you came. But I wanted everyone to be together for this. To tell your mother how much you’d like to see her well. How much you’d like to talk to her more. This isn’t a rehash of how your life has been worse, but about how much you’d like to see things get better.” Dr. Hirsch waited for us to nod before we followed her into the living room.

  I was surprised my mom was dressed and looked like she’d taken a shower. She nodded at everyone.

  Lindsey went first, saying how much she’d like to tell Mom about her day, her job, who she was dating, just to be a part of her life. My dad told her how he’d like to enjoy life with her, drinking coffee at the kitchen table, watching the sunset on the porch. It was the simple things he wanted after essentially being alone the last fifteen years. It brought tears to my eyes and I’d never felt more alone. I wished more than anything Sawyer was here holding my hand, providing support. Then it was my turn and I didn’t know what to say.

  I’d gotten so used to being by myself, to not relying on anyone, I wasn’t sure what role a mother would play in my life at this point. But then I thought about my grandmother and Ms. Gladys. How they’d been there for me. Licking my dry lips, I said, “I’d like to get your advice on dating, work. I just want to hear your voice again.” Tears were streaming down her face. “I don’t want you to feel guilty.”

  “I don’t. You aren’t making me feel guilty. Everything you’ve described is so beautiful. I’d like all of those things. I don’t want to feel like this all of the time. Hopeless. Like my life doesn’t matter. I want the help. I want all of the things you described.” She looked pointedly at each one of us.

  I could feel hope bloom in my chest but I tried to temper it. I didn’t want to get carried away. I’d let myself hope she’d come out of her depression too many times in the past, only to be disappointed.

  Dr. Hirsch took over then, explaining how she’d help my mom get to an inpatient facility tonight and what we’d need to do. Then we said our good-byes. When I hugged my mother, she whispered, “I love you.”

  I squeezed her hand. “I love you too.”

  I waited on the porch for Lindsey. She offered me a small smile when she closed the screen door and came to stand next to me. “That was rough.”

  I smiled. “It was.” I was glad we’d done it though. We’d made an effort to get her help. The rest was in her hands.

  “I’m glad I came. I hope it helped,” she said.

  I hugged her then. “I think so. It’s good to see you.”

  “I have to get back home, but let’s get together soon, okay?”

  “Sure.”

  “And let me know how it’s going here.” She pointed over her shoulder at my parents’ house.

  “Will do.” It would be nice to work with my sister for once to bring the family together. Even if my mother never got better, at least my sister and I could have a closer relationship. It was Dr. Hirsch who explained Lindsey reacted differently to my mom’s episodes and it wasn’t bad. Everyone processes things differently. We said our goodbyes and I got into my car.

  I drove home in a daze to find Sawyer’s SUV parked in front of my house. He sat on my porch watching me drive up. My heart sped up but I was afraid to hope he was here to try again.

  He was in a white button-down shirt, sleeves rolled up his forearms and navy suit pants. My heart ached with the fact that he wasn’t mine anymore. If he ever had been. Should I tell him how much I needed him? How much he meant to me? How much I was in love with him?

  This was the feeling I’d never felt with those other guys. With them I felt obsessive. This was calm, quiet, easy love. This is what I’d been missing my whole life. And now that I realized it, I’d already lost it. Lost him. If he was here to officially break things off with me or tell me he forgave me but couldn’t be with me, how would I get through this knowing this was the man I was supposed to be with? This was the man I loved. And I didn’t think I could handle his rejection after the interaction I’d had with my mother.

  “Are you okay?” he asked, standing as I approached.

  Knowing my face was swollen and red from crying, I said, “Yeah, we had my mom’s intervention today.”

  “I know. That’s why I’m here,” he said quietly.

  My eyes shot up to his. “It is?”

  Gone was the animosity I’d seen on his face the last few times we’d spoken.

  “Emma told me that it was today.”

  “Oh.” He was here to comfort me as a friend. I couldn’t look him in the eye, worried he’d see through me. He’d see every emotion I was feeling on my face. I had to remember I was an obligation to him and nothing more. “I appreciate it.” I placed my hand on his arm. “It went well. I think she’s going to try to get help and work with Dr. Hirsch. If nothing else, my sister and I bonded and hopefully we’ll be closer now.”

  I wished more than anything his support now was that of a boyfriend. Not some final act of pity or kindness. I wanted everything or nothing. I pulled my keys out of my purse. “Thanks for coming by, but I’ll be okay.”

  “We need to talk.”

  I wanted that, but right then I was too raw from everything that had happened with my mother. “Sawyer, I’d like that but I can’t right now. That was intense.” If we talked now I’d tell him everything. How I loved him. How I wanted him here for me all of the time. For the big stuff, the small stuff, everything. He wasn’t ready to hear that yet.

  He pulled my keys from my hands and unlocked my door. “Let’s get some water and sit down.” I let him take my hand and pull me to the kitchen where he got two glasses of ice water and carried them into the sunroom.

  I took a long sip of the ice-cold water. “What did you want to talk about?”

  “Us. I want to talk about us.”

  Confused, I asked, “There is no us and I don’t blame you. I screwed up. My story was printed. One I never intended to be printed, but I should have known it could happen. I should never have kept my notes on the network like that.” Not wh
en I was so worried about the fallout for Sawyer.

  “How could you have known your boss would take your words, print a story, and use your name?”

  “Well—” Wait, what? I was not expecting him to defend me now or ever.

  “Yeah, you could have been more careful, but you trusted him not to screw you over. I know you didn’t want me to lose tenure. You’ve done everything to help me in the last few months. You went to the scholarship dinner, helped me socialize. Dean Strauss told me how you talked to him—convinced him to give me another chance.” He took the glass from my hand and placed it on the counter, taking both of my hands in his. “You made me realize how much more there was to life. When you smile at me, the whole world is better and brighter. I was going through the motions before you.”

  “Really?” A delicious warmth spread through my body but I was too scared to hope for more.

  “I love you, Stella.” My brain stopped when he said those four words. The words I’d never thought I’d hear him say. But he continued talking and I tried to focus on his words. “With everything that happened, you tried to protect me.”

  “I did, but—I’m supposed to be the one—”

  “No, you’re not. You’ve apologized or you’ve tried to, and I wouldn’t listen. I was too stubborn. I fell back into my old ways—scared of making waves, taking the easy road. But I don’t want to go back to the way I was. I want you in my life. Please, Stella, tell me it’s not too late. That you haven’t moved on. That you love me too.”

  I couldn’t stop the sob that broke out when he’d said those words I’d wanted to hear. “I do, Sawyer.”

  “Opening up about your family was a gift I don’t think you’ve given anyone. I love you so much for that and everything you’ve trusted me with.”

  “I love you too, Sawyer.” I’d moved closer on the couch, my hands on his face. I couldn’t believe he’d just said everything I’d wanted to hear. After our talk at the coffee shop, I was resigned to things being over between us. I didn’t want to hope for more and be disappointed.

  “I’ll always be there for you.” He lowered his head, kissing me with slow sweet kisses. My heart was bursting. I couldn’t believe Sawyer was mine.

  “All I ask is that you trust in me, trust in us.”

  “That’s easy.”

  Stella

  I SIPPED A GLASS OF champagne at Samantha and Jack’s engagement party. Samantha’s parents paid for it to be held at the yacht club’s ballroom with floor-to-ceiling windows and a panoramic view of the Chester River. A string quartet played quietly on the edge of the dance floor, and guests gathered around cocktail tables, while waiters in black jackets, pants, and white button-down shirts circled the room with trays of white sangria and hors d’ourves. It was not her style necessarily, but I thought Samantha was trying to keep the peace with her family.

  Jack stood in his charcoal gray suit and purple tie in the center of the dance floor and whistled with his fingers in his mouth to bring the crowd to silence. “I’d like to thank everyone for coming tonight and I have something I want to give my bride-to-be.”

  A chorus of sighs and awws rang through the room as Jack took Samantha’s hand and pulled a white box from his pocket. “I’m so excited to marry you, Samantha. Our relationship is even more special because we’ve known each other since we were kids. I protected you then and I’ll continue to protect you from whatever comes our way. I’m so honored that you’ve agreed to be my wife.” Jack stopped for a minute, seemingly to pull himself together. Tears were already falling from Samantha’s eyes.

  It was amazing that my friends had come this far and were taking the next step to the rest of their lives.

  My eyes shot to the doorway where Jack’s younger sister, Lucy, had just arrived fashionably late, her caramel-colored hair fell in waves around her shoulders. She wore a wrinkled cobalt-colored silk dress and black cut-out booties, which she must have worn on her drive from Baltimore. As a graphic designer, I would have expected her to be more put together for her brother’s engagement party. Instead she looked stressed and disheveled. Lucy’s eyes scanned the room, stopping on Jack and Samantha.

  Jack cleared his throat. “I can’t wait to marry you.”

  I turned my eyes back to the soft look on Samantha’s face. “Me too, Jack.”

  “You have an engagement ring, which represents my promise to marry you and love you, but I wanted something to remember the location of our wedding, the heart of our relationship and our hometown—the marina where we spent our summers as children and where we solidified our relationship as adults.”

  It wasn’t lost on me that Lucy and Wyatt had done the same. It was then I noticed that Wyatt had seen Lucy too, his eyes were fixed on her but she hadn’t moved.

  Jack opened the box slowly and Samantha’s hands covered her mouth which had opened in surprise. “Oh, Jack.”

  Jack pulled a necklace out of the box as Samantha turned so he could place it over her neck. “It’s the GPS coordinates for the exact location where we will exchange our vows on the dock.”

  It was such a sweet gesture and perfect for them, since their relationship started when Jack had come home to help his dad with the marina.

  When it was clasped, Samantha turned back to Jack, touching the engraved necklace resting on her collarbone. “Thank you. It’s perfect.” She went up on tiptoes to kiss him as everyone clapped and cheered at the romantic gesture.

  Slowly skirting the already crowded room, Lucy stopped in front of Jack and he pulled her in for a hug. He shot a happy and relieved look at Samantha over Lucy’s head and she returned a gentle smile. Lucy stopped in front of Samantha hugging her, then Samantha held her hand with her sparkling ring out to Lucy for inspection.

  “Oh look, Lucy made it. Let’s go say hello,” Ashley said, already walking in their direction. I followed at a slower pace, getting the impression we were intruding on a personal moment.

  Jack hugged Lucy, and said, “I’m so glad you could make it.”

  Lucy’s smile faltered when she looked at Wyatt. “Hello, Wyatt. I’m surprised to see you here.”

  Wyatt watched her as he stood next to Jack, arms crossed over his chest.

  “Why is that?” Wyatt’s eyebrow raised in question, standing feet shoulder-width apart, arms crossed over his chest, as if this was his town now and she had no business coming here.

  Ignoring his question, she said, “I didn’t know you were even friends with Jack.” Her large blue eyes opened wide, she ran her fingers over her dress as if smoothing the wrinkles.

  “There’s a lot you don’t know,” Wyatt said, his voice tight, a muscle ticked in his jaw. “We work together now.”

  Jack was high up in the fire department, Luke was the sheriff, and Wyatt worked for the Maryland Department of Natural Resources as a forest ranger, so they did confer together a lot.

  The tension was palpable with eyes watching their exchange. I whispered to Ashley, “This is awkward.”

  “It is,” Ashley said. “I think their break-up in high school was not amicable.”

  Since Jack’s announcement, the crowd had dispersed back to the high tables for drinks and hors d’oeuvres.

  “I’m sure you’re headed back to the city as soon as this party is over,” Wyatt said.

  Lucy looked at Jack, shifting on her stilettos. “Actually—I’m here for an extended visit.”

  All I’d heard about Lucy was that she had some high powered job and didn’t have or make the time to visit home often.

  “That’s great,” Jack said. “Will you be able to stay for our wedding at the end of the summer?”

  “It’s looking that way,” Lucy said.

  Wyatt snorted. “You’re going to stay here? The place you couldn’t leave fast enough when we were kids?” Silence fell over the group. “What happened to your big job in the city?”

  She chewed her lip as her eyes went back and forth from Jack to Wyatt. She repeated, “I’m here for now.”


  “Did you quit?” Jack asked, confused. “As much as I love having you here, I thought this was your dream job.”

  She swallowed hard. “It was. Look, it’s no big deal. I don’t want to ruin your party.”

  “We’re here to celebrate, not to interrogate Lucy,” Samantha said, diverting attention off of the awkward exchange between Wyatt and Lucy, by grabbing Jack’s hand and pulling him out to the dance floor. “Dance with me, handsome,” Samantha said, smiling over her shoulder at Jack.

  “Lucy, when did you get here?” Ms. Perry asked, approaching her.

  Wyatt hadn’t moved his gaze from Lucy even as her mother approached.

  “I just did,” Lucy said.

  “Well, I’m glad you were able to make it. We weren’t sure there for awhile,” Ms. Perry said.

  “Neither was I, but I’m here to stay.” Lucy glanced at Wyatt with that last word.

  Her forehead wrinkled in confusion, she asked, “And why is that? I thought you’d have to get back to your job as soon as possible. They never let you have time off.”

  “I don’t work there anymore,” Lucy said.

  “Why ever not? Did you quit?” she asked, mouth tight with disappointment.

  Lucy was silent for a long moment before she said, “Not exactly.” Her face was filled with shame and embarrassment. “My roommate moved out so I couldn’t afford my apartment anymore.” She shot a look at Wyatt. “I need a place to stay, but don’t worry, I’m headed back to the city as soon as I get a new job.” She held her body rigid in front of her mother. It looked like the last thing Lucy wanted was to come home and live with her parents.

  I saw a flicker of emotion cross Wyatt’s face—a combination of regret, hope, and sadness, before disdain took over.

  “Hey, did I miss anything?” Sawyer asked, returning from the restroom and pulling me tight into his side, kissing my forehead.

  I smiled brightly at him. “Lucy’s here.”

  “That’s great,” Sawyer said.

  Wyatt brushed past us then, grumbling. “It’s really fucking not.”