Wherever You Go

by Tracie Peterson

  “Chris has carried this burden all his life. It’s not going to be easy to change his perspective overnight. Give him time and pray that God will help him through it. God is the only one who can heal his brokenness, and Mary . . . you have your own brokenness to heal.”

  Lizzy was right, and Mary knew it. She thought of August and how much it still hurt to know he would never again be waiting for her after a show. Her brother’s teasing and dry wit were forever lost to Mary, and only God had been able to get her through that pain.

  “Sometimes when I first wake up and realize I’m back with the show, I expect to see August when I go to get my horse or check on my targets. He always loved to put little surprises in the crates just to tease me. Once he put a toy snake. It scared the daylights out of me, but I got him back.”

  “What did you do?” Ella asked.

  “I put it in his bed. You could hear his yell all the way down the train.” Mary smiled at the memory. “I miss him so much, but then he wasn’t home that last year and I wasn’t with the show. Maybe we went our separate ways in order to lessen the loss when he died, but if this is lessened, I can’t imagine how awful it would have been if we’d been together the whole time.”

  “I always wanted brothers and sisters,” Lizzy said, smiling sadly. “But I think that’s why my folks let me perform. They knew I needed something else to focus on. It was lonely at the ranch without any other children.”

  “I’m the baby of the family, but I enjoyed my siblings,” Ella admitted. “My sister Margaret is five years older than me, but we were still close. We loved to play with our dolls together, and then later, Mara used to play with me after Margaret thought herself too old for such things.”

  “Who’s Mara?” Mary asked.

  “She was my maid. Well, her mother was my wet nurse, and Mara and I grew up together as playmates. When I turned thirteen, Father declared she would be my maid, and she was until the day I left the farm. We were like sisters. I confided everything in her, and if not for her help, I would never have managed to get away from the farm.”

  “What happened to her after you left?”

  “She’s still there. Robert told me she’s doing well, but I can’t help wishing she were here with me.”

  “Maybe one day. Maybe we can work out some sort of arrangement. After all, Mara is free to go where she chooses.”

  “I told her one day I’d send for her.” Ella picked up a brush and began to run it through her wavy blond hair. “I think she’d enjoy the wild west show. She knows how much I love to ride, and I think she’d applaud my doing what I love.”

  “I don’t understand how you got involved with trick riding.” Mary was glad to focus on something other than Chris for a while. She was too caught up in what had happened to think clearly, and focusing on Ella’s life was helping her relax and clear away the fog.

  “Robert and I used to go riding together. He’s eight years my senior, and back then he was more than a little ornery. He used to challenge me to try dangerous stunts, and I loved to show him that I could do most anything. He told me once after seeing a circus that he thought I belonged there.” She paused her strokes with the brush. “Now I don’t know whether I can trust him or not. He has to do business with Father and Jefferson, and he has a family of his own. I don’t know what he really believes regarding August and what happened, but it makes me sad that he just accepts that our father is involved in murder. And for what reasons, I can’t even say, but I don’t believe there’s ever an acceptable reason to kill someone in cold blood.”

  “Nor do I.” Mary shook her head. “It is so strange how God has put us together. I rejoined the show to find out what happened to August, but then I stayed on. I guess I keep hoping I can somehow get justice for him.”

  “And if you can’t?” Lizzy asked.

  “Then I’m still better for it. After all, if I hadn’t come along, I would never have met Chris, nor gotten to know Ella.” She smiled at her friend. “And I have really enjoyed our friendship, Ella. I hope you know that.”

  “I’m so glad, because I cherish it, and yet I would understand if you despised me. After all, I knew that Jefferson and my father had a hand in August’s death long before I admitted it.”

  Mary shook her head. “I could never despise someone for responding in the same way I probably would have. Even if your father and Mr. Spiby never answer for what they did, I will be your friend and help you so that you never have to go back to that life. In fact, know this—if for some reason you can’t stay with Lizzy on the ranch, you always can come stay with me in Kansas . . . or wherever I end up.” She looked to Lizzy and held up the Bible. “Thank you for talking to me and loaning me your Bible. Thank you too for being willing to ask Wes about Chris. I’ll feel better if I know that he’s all right.”

  “I’m sure he is. Just give him time,” Lizzy replied.

  “I’m glad you’re feeling better, Lizzy,” Oliver Brookstone said, patting the chair beside him. “Come sit by me and tell me all the news.”

  “It does my heart good to see you looking so much better, Uncle. As for news, I hardly know anything.” Lizzy kissed the top of his head and then took her seat. “You probably know a lot more than I do, since you talk to Jason all the time and I’ve been sick in bed.”

  Jason sat across the table from her. He smiled, but he didn’t feel it. Lizzy and Wes were closer than ever, and now Oliver wanted them to stage a mock wedding at the Expo. They already had the shooting contest with Annie Oakley scheduled and hardly needed to add to the show, but Oliver was insistent.

  “Sorry I’m late,” Wes declared, coming into the private saloon. “Oliver, it’s nice to see you up. How are you feeling?”

  “Well, this is about the full extent of my activity. But the doctor assures me my strength will come back a little at a time, so long as I keep on this course.”

  “Are you sure you’re up to a meeting, Uncle?” Lizzy asked. “We could hold it in your cabin, and you could be more comfortable. You certainly wouldn’t have to dress up.”

  “I’m fine,” Oliver said, patting his niece’s hand.

  “In that case, what do you want to see Wes and I about?” Lizzy asked, gazing at Wes with such love that Jason had to look away.

  Thankfully the steward chose that moment to bring their tea and refreshments. The conversation lagged until after the tea was poured and the food served. Jason was miserable watching how happy Wes and Lizzy were. If only she could understand that life with a cowboy would never be as good as the life he could give her. Why couldn’t she put aside her childish emotions and think about the future? About how important he was going to be one day? Perhaps he’d even be prime minister, and then she could enjoy his power as well.

  His father entered the cabin, smiling and greeting Oliver like a long-lost brother. Jason resented that his father had felt it necessary to join them on the trip back to America. With his father there, Jason’s ability to manipulate the situation to his benefit was stifled. And while his father had said very little about the fact that Jason had put the show in the black, he had no difficulty commenting on his mistakes when they came to his attention.

  Why can’t he just leave this to me? Leave it all to me and let me deal with it as I desire? Then I could marry Lizzy and rid myself of her cowboy and anyone else who caused me trouble.

  “So you see, while we have the shooting competition between Mary and Annie Oakley, we were hoping that for our final evening event we could stage a little wedding.”

  “Wes and I plan to marry back in Montana,” Lizzy said, shaking her head.

  “I know that,” Oliver assured her. “This would just be for the show. It wouldn’t be real, but imagine the thrill. Your public adores you, and how wonderful it would be for them to share in the wedding—even if it is pretend.”

  “Our marriage isn’t the stuff of pretense,” Wes said, frowning.

  “Marriage is a very sacred thing, Uncle.”

  “Of cours
e, of course. And I’m not trying to suggest otherwise.”

  Jason’s father spoke up. “I think your uncle is saying that because you are so beloved, it’s going to be difficult for people to understand that you’re quitting. They’re going to be upset to learn you’re leaving. So we thought perhaps if we staged the wedding, given the engagement was such a hit, you and Wes could announce your retirement in order to seek a life of marriage and motherhood.”

  Lizzy blushed. “I suppose I never thought of it that way.”

  “We thought it would be a nice way to tell everyone with our final performance that you’re leaving the show. Those who are able to be there to watch the wedding will be thrilled, and the blow will be softened,” Oliver added.

  Jason’s father nodded enthusiastically, but Jason jumped in before anyone else could speak. “Exactly. Lizzy, I don’t think you realize just how important you are to your fans. The letters we receive, either addressed to you or mentioning you, are fifty to one for anyone else.”

  “Goodness, I didn’t have any idea.”

  “Sometimes those numbers are even higher,” Jason hurried on. He’d had neither a hand in the mock wedding idea nor the event with Annie Oakley, and he was determined to regain at least a small amount of control.

  “If the pretense bothers you, why not really get married?” Henry asked.

  Lizzy shook her head. “Because I want to marry in Montana. I want my mother there, and since she wasn’t able to come to England, I doubt she’ll be able to come to New York. Especially with getting the calves to market.”

  “You could go ahead with your wedding in Montana,” Henry replied. “In fact, I will pay for both weddings as a sign of goodwill.”

  Lizzy looked to Wesley. “Maybe we could do something to make my final performance special.” Again, there was that look of adoration in her eyes.

  Why can’t she look at me that way?

  Jason picked up his tea and took a sip. He burned his tongue but didn’t react. At least it took his mind away from how hopeless he felt. He didn’t want to hear anything more about Lizzy marrying this buffoon, and he especially didn’t want to hear his father talk about paying for it. Still, there was nothing he could do but listen and pretend all was well. The trouble was, he’d never admitted defeat easily.

  They continued to discuss the matter, but Jason didn’t care to pay attention. They would soon reach New York, and then he’d lose Lizzy forever. There had to be some way to convince her that he was the better man. And he was. He had fortune and social standing. He was both American and English, and they could easily live in both worlds. His father might want him to marry into nobility and bring more prestige to the Adler name, but he wasn’t the one in charge. This was Jason’s decision, and he wouldn’t be put off just because Wesley DeShazer had some sort of hold over Lizzy.

  “. . . but I certainly don’t need somebody else paying for our wedding,” Wes was declaring.

  Lizzy nodded. “Wes is right. We already have plans for our wedding in Montana and have taken care of the expenses ourselves. What if you just present us to the audience? I can even wear a white dress, if that’s important. Wes and I could ride out together and take a turn around the arena, and you could announce that we’re getting married and I’m leaving the show. Maybe I could even perform a trick and end up in Wesley’s arms, and we could ride off on one horse. Wouldn’t that be romantic enough?”

  “I think it might work well,” Father said, nodding. “I like the idea. We can have Mary and Miss Oakley perform together, and then announce that we have one final thing to share and bring out Lizzy and Wes.”

  Jason wondered what they’d do or say if he stormed the arena during their little presentation and stole Lizzy away. He smiled. It might be the kind of grandiose gesture Lizzy needed to realize just how much he loved her. The idea continued to grow in his thoughts. He could arrange a carriage waiting outside. He could swoop in and steal Lizzy off her horse and race from the arena. The crowds would love it, and if he planned it right, perhaps he could hire some men to cover their retreat. The audience would think it was just a fun performance, but Jason could make his getaway with Lizzy.

  But she’d never go willingly.

  The thought tormented him. He’d never been the kind of man to force himself upon a woman, but perhaps this time he needed to be more drastic. It was the rest of his life he was thinking about. Once he had Lizzy away from Wes, he would need some way to hold her—to keep her until he could have them legally wed. He would have to give this a great deal of thought.

  “Don’t you think so, Jason?” his father asked.

  “Ah . . . well . . .” His voice trailed off. “I’m afraid I wasn’t listening.”

  “I asked if you think that arrangement sounds romantic. Especially with an orchestra to play in the background.”

  Jason had no real idea what his father was planning, but he knew his own scheme. “I think it sounds marvelous.” He looked at Lizzy and smiled as he raised his teacup. “To the wedding.”

  twenty-two

  Are you upset with me?” Mary asked Chris at breakfast on their last full day at sea. She’d seen little of him, although Lizzy had relayed the news that he had accepted Christ as his Savior one evening while talking with Wes.

  “Of course not. I’m sorry that I’m so occupied. I promise I want to continue our conversation, and I assure you that I’m not angry. I’m glad you told me what you did.”

  She wasn’t sure if he meant the news about his father and brothers or the fact that she loved him, and she had no chance to ask.

  “Chris, I managed to get that typing paper you needed,” Henry Adler announced, taking his seat at the table. “It’s been delivered to your cabin.”

  “Wonderful!” Chris gulped his tea and jumped to his feet. He looked down at Mary. “We will talk. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have been furiously working to put together the rest of the articles for my publisher. He will expect them when we dock in New York.”

  And with that, he was gone.

  Mary frowned and picked at her breakfast until she lost all interest in it.

  “Don’t worry, Mary. He’ll make it up to you,” Lizzy whispered as she leaned close. “I know he will. It’s easy to see that he adores you.”

  “I don’t know about that. He did tell me he wasn’t upset with me. In fact, he said he was glad that I said what I did, but for the life of me I don’t know which part of the conversation he’s referencing.”

  Lizzy smiled. “Maybe he was glad about the entire thing. Did you think of that?”

  “I suppose I didn’t.” Mary touched her napkin to her lips and then placed it on the table beside her plate.

  “He seemed quite at peace. Having Jesus in your heart will do that,” Lizzy said, then sipped her tea.

  “And I’m very glad about that. I’m so happy Wes could be there to help him through the shock of what I said and the burden he’s been carrying all these years.” Mary picked up her own china teacup and sampled the now tepid tea.

  “You just need to be patient, Mary. Love is patient.”

  “Yes, but I never have been. Oma says I was born without patience and each time it was offered to me, I turned up my nose and walked away.”

  Lizzy chuckled. “If I’m honest, it’s not a virtue well-known to me either. Still, I know that if it’s right for you and Chris to be together, then God will bring it around . . . in His time. Maybe you could pray for patience.”

  Mary nodded. She knew it would have to be an act of God for her to endure the wait with any kind of patience. She liked to get what she’d come for and didn’t hesitate to move when she knew what she wanted. But this time what she wanted involved another human being, and they had as much right to call the shots as she did.

  “Why don’t you come back to the cabin with Ella and me? We can figure out how we want to do things for our final show at the Expo. I’m quite excited to see the exhibits and what all they have going on there. Jason even men
tioned taking a side trip to see Niagara Falls. Wouldn’t that be wonderful? I’ve never seen it, but he says it’s marvelous.”

  “Maybe we can convince Chris to come too,” Mary said, getting to her feet.

  “Maybe so. Everyone says it’s such a romantic place. Who knows what kind of feelings it might bring out in him?” Lizzy winked.

  Mary rolled her eyes, which only made Lizzy laugh.

  Once they were back in New York, Mary decided the only thing she could do was keep busy. They would stay the night in the city to give Chris time to meet with his editor, and then the following evening they’d be off again to Buffalo on the routine they were all more comfortable and familiar with. England had been an amazing experience, and already there was talk about next year and expanding to a few other European venues, but for now everyone was glad to be back on American soil. The exception might be Jason Adler, who seemed moody at best and completely withdrawn at worst.

  It was good to be back on the train. The Brookstone home away from home had been thoroughly cleaned, and to everyone’s surprise, Agnes and her niece were back to help with costumes. Lizzy immediately told the older woman about the staged wedding presentation, and they got right to work figuring out how to alter one of her elaborate new gowns for the scene.

  Meanwhile, Mary tried to keep busy during the day. She knew it was best not to think about Chris and how much she wanted to say. She had prayed a great deal and thought long and hard about what she hoped to have with him. His actions suggested he loved her. At least, she thought their kisses revealed that truth, but she could be wrong. She didn’t have a lot of experience where romance was concerned.

  “I knew I’d find you cleaning your guns,” Lizzy stated as she entered the commons area from the costume room.

  Mary looked up and smiled. “Did you get your wedding dress figured out?”

  “Yes. Agnes is such a genius. She’s taking that beautiful gown with the silver lace overlay and remaking it. She’ll take off the lace because the underskirt is white satin. Then she’ll retrim it with white lace and adjust the skirts in a way that will allow me to ride without having to use a sidesaddle. I think we’ll make some satin bloomers to wear under it and split the skirt on either side.”