The Mayor of Noobtown

by Ryan Rimmel

  After Shart confirmed there were no more targets, I stumbled back towards the town hall. My Stamina was low, and the goblin had a bleed effect on his weapon causing another 6 points of damage. This fight had left me dangerously depleted.

  You have found Windfall Village. There is not a current mayor to the village. Would you like to claim the village?

  Yes.

  You are now the founder and mayor of Windfall Village, Population 2.

  You have earned a Founder perk for founding a new village!

  Great. I slid down the lectern and collapsed.

  We only had a few minutes, so I got to work as soon as I could stand. I bound my leg wound, stopping the bleeding and preventing it from breaking open again.

  “If the goblin gang gets past the barrier, I need to run,” I stated calmly.

  Shart just nodded. He was looking apprehensive. The goblins were moving much faster than he’d anticipated. If I hadn’t managed to kill the goblins in the village as quickly as I did, we’d be in trouble. If they had scattered, I’d have had to flee.

  Now that my wound was bound, my path was clear and my pants were dry. For now.

  As the goblins approached, I found an intact stairwell in the inn. This gave me a higher vantage point, to witness their arrival. The faint blue magical barrier that had been newly created tensed. They were all much bigger than average. The smallest one of them was the same size as the large one I had just fought in the hall. That hadn’t gone great for me. Also, they were all riding wolves. Big wolves.

  If the barrier didn’t hold, this was going to be a very short mayorship.

  I had grabbed the goblin’s shield and both short swords, as well as my other dagger. I found a few other daggers in the inn while we waited. I was festooned with weapons now. I had a veritable plethora of death dealing pieces. I was so heavily armed the TSA might have even stopped me.

  You have acquired goblin short sword, damage 2-7. Durability 14/15.

  You have acquired goblin shield, common, defense 6, Block +3

  The rest of the recently deceased goblins’ supplies weren’t much to speak of. The stew tasted foul, and I’m pretty sure that what I initially thought was a piece of spaghetti was actually a rat’s tail. I’d still eaten it. Look, I’d been eating gamey wolf chunks for the past several days, a man can hope.

  I had also tucked away some chunks of dried meat. These were from dubious sources at best, but if those riders started chasing me, I’d be in trouble.

  A notification popped into my view. It wasn’t the usual event icon either, as it filled up the bottom of my vision.

  Hostile creatures are approaching the village”

  “Almost here. Get ready,” warned Shart. He was invisible and intangible now, but still sitting on my shoulder, being a real negative Nancy. If this didn’t work, I would have to sneak out to somewhere and go all Minecraft in the forest. I envisioned setting up a semi-permanent camp with Shart and preparing for a much more significant effort.

  The first two goblins and their mounts crossed the line. For an instant, I was confused. Confusion quickly gave way to terror, as they passed through the outer range of the barrier. Then, they caught fire, as did the two after them. Several more behind them were soon afire, as well. Suddenly, they all scrambled to get away from the barrier. Well, the survivors at least, because caught on fire was probably underselling it. They literally erupted into flames out of everywhere. These were not healthy flames either; they were a sort of bluish flame that seemed to make their victims do quite a bit screaming before they collapsed. Seven goblins and 6 wolves died, and many more were injured. One wolf tossed its goblin aside and ran back over the barrier, leaving his rider to burn to death, one fist raised in anger towards his mount.

  The barrier worked.

  I was safe.

  Chapter 8: Town Interface

  Name: Jim

  Hit Points: 22/55

  Stamina: 70

  Mana: 20

  Class: Rogue 1

  Class: Warrior 1

  Strength: Above Average

  Dexterity: Good

  Endurance: Above Average

  Willpower: Average

  Spirit: Average

  Charisma: Average

  Skills:

  Demon Lore amateur

  Unarmored Amateur

  Light Armor Amateur

  Medium Armor Amateur

  Defense Skills:

  Dodge Unskilled

  Mitigate Unskilled

  Shields amateur

  Martial Weapons amateur

  Simple Weapons amateur

  Staff Amateur

  Powerful Blow

  Dagger Novice

  Puncture

  Wounding

  Two Weapon Fighting Unskilled

  Twin Weapon Unskilled

  Hiking unskilled

  Stealth Amateur

  Skinning Amateur

  Cooking unskilled

  Perception Amateur

  Crafting: Amateur

  Leatherworking Unskilled

  Woodworking Unskilled

  The town had an interface all of its own. It wasn’t even attached to my character sheet. I had to focus on a small town icon, which brought up the Noobie Village in my view. I got an overhead map with the various buildings highlighted. Most were showing 0 durability, indicating significant damage. With my crafting ability, I could tell they were going to require some very extensive repair to get back to being usable.

  The main menu was pretty simple. It just said:

  Windfall Village, Level 0. Population 2. Mayor Jim.

  “Well, that’s that then,” I stated, “we have a town.”

  “About that,” stated Shart, “First off, you have a village. I’m a demon; I can’t be a mayor or even a citizen. Secondly, we still have a problem, because when you leave the village, it becomes abandoned. The barrier will fall again. I’m betting those goblins are just waiting around until you try to leave.”

  “Maybe I could gather up some supplies, equip myself with a bow, and attack the goblins out of range?”

  “No,” replied the demon,” when you attack out of the barrier from the inside, the defensive properties will fail. The goblins will be able to return the favor. Mind you, the barrier will reset after 5 minutes of you ceasing an attack to the outside.”

  “Great,” I stated. Well, at least I could gather supplies and make a better trip out of here. Maybe I could find the materials to finish a bow…

  Then I recalled something, “You said you don’t count as a citizen?”

  “No,” stated Shart, “At best, I’d be considered your familiar in the town interface. I’m technically an Elder Demon, we follow special rules.”

  “The menu says the population is two,” I stated, as Shart looked at me like I was an idiot.

  Idiot. I opened the town menu and searched for a population tab, which of course existed.

  Windfall Village

  Population 2

  Jim (mayor)

  Toomen Masterbrooke

  Before I opened my mouth, I quickly reviewed the tabs and found one that had the city and the population. It showed me. . . and no one else. I checked the options and found one for inactive citizens and suddenly Toomen appeared in the church.

  “He’s in the…,” I began, trying and failing to identify which building the church even was. “Destroyed structure,” I finished lamely.

  Looking around, Shart replied, “You’re gonna have to be more specific.”

  It took us about fifteen minutes to figure out where it was, and that was with me even having a map.

  Smashing our way to that particular location wasn't any more challenging than one might expect cutting your way through a destroyed town with like a hundred years of overgrowth would be. I wondered about the newer village Shart had mentioned. Had all the residents of this town simply fled there? How much nicer was this new village? I bet they already had a functioning mayor. Rounding a slight curve, t
he decrepit church came into view.

  Finally, we made it to an open area in what might be politely described as the front lobby of the church. Following the next entryway, I walked into what probably once had been a very nice, well-constructed cathedral. However, now the structure was beyond ruined and the walls had collapsed in most places. The great ceiling was scattered all around us on the moss and mold covered floor. Grass and weeds grew through cracks and fissures in the stone floor. Both Shart and I were utterly unimpressed with this defunct worship center. A cursory examination of the room did present a very impressive and well-maintained statue located directly behind the pulpit.

  The statute was interesting for a variety of reasons. First off, it was compelling to behold. The marble male wore a very artistically rendered expression of serenity. Second off, was the fact that the statue was entirely bereft of any form of vegetation whatsoever. Furthermore, there was a good 3 foot circle surrounding the statue where nothing grew.

  It was a perfectly circular patch of barren dirt in the middle of a fertile field of weeds. I felt my Demon Lore skill activate, and I became instantly aware of some sort of demonic curse exerting influence on the statue.

  “Can you dispel this?” I asked Shart, glancing at my prompts.

  “In my present state,” replied Shart, “No. By the way, you break a curse, not dispel one. That’s an important distinction.” Again, he shot me his patented You are an idiot look.

  “How do you break a curse?” I asked, as I looked at the statue really hard in an attempt to will a prompt.

  Shart chuckled, “That’s easy. Just place your palm on the statue.”

  I did so. The stone felt abnormally warm, considering I’d been walking barefoot through the rest of the building and all the other stone had been of a nearly uniform cool temperature.

  “Now focus. Concentrate. You need to feel into the magic of the curse. Feel it throb in your hand. Feel it harden. It will throb faster and faster and then splatter all over you.”

  I opened my eyes and moved my hand up about a foot, glowering at the demon. He might not be able to lie to me, but apparently, he could fuck with me a bit before telling me the actual truth.

  Shart chortled, “Okay dum dum. You are trying to feel a synchronicity of magic with the curse. At first, it will allow you to gather more information about the curse. Breaking it is quite a bit harder, but little steps.”

  Frowning and closing my eyes, I concentrated on the feeling. There was something there inside the statue, but it was elusive. I relaxed, letting the magic flow through me and into the statue. I could sense the magic and the curse, but even after five full minutes I felt no closer than when I had begun.

  “What the hell are you doing?” stated Shart.

  “Relaxing to let the mana flow through me,” I said, “Like the Force?”

  “I don’t know what the force is, but it sounds stupid,” replied the demon, “It’s a curse. You have to grab that thing and throttle it with your magical powers. Think of it more like a goblin’s throat instead of your fragile dick. You want to grab that thing and choke it death, not give it a casual wank.”

  “Oh, when you put it that way,” I replied. That was different. I settled in again. This time, instead of relaxing, I began pushing magic into the statue. Whenever I found the curse, I tried to snatch it. Initially, I had no luck. It was like reaching into a dark box while wearing gloves and trying to catch a slippery banana, but if a monkey reaches for a banana enough times, eventually he gets lucky. Somehow, I grabbed the curse for a moment. I instantly regretted that, as the curse throbbed then hardened in my mystical hand. I tried to release it but couldn’t and the curse throbbed and finally erupted all over my face.

  Black lightning spurted from the statue and all over me. I collapsed to the floor, my mind so fuddled that thinking was nearly impossible. Shart was yelling something at me, but the statue seemed normal and sitting here felt nice.

  I don’t quite know how long the lightning lasted, but however long it was, I’m going on record as it was way too long. All I could do for the duration was feel pain, and there was so much of it. It was so hard to think that I couldn’t come up with a method to get away from the energy. Finally, it stopped and I laid there numb for several minutes. Finally, I replenished a single point of mana.

  Mana 1/20

  And just like that, everything snapped into normality. My head felt drained, like I’d just studied my butt off for a huge test and that test had been super difficult. Or I just had bronchitis and was still recovering. Even stringing two words together was impossible. I’d have been worried about brain damage, but I couldn’t actually collect my thoughts well enough to articulate that for several minutes.

  As the seconds slipped by, I began to agonizingly slowly recover mana. Each point caused my mind to become more and more active, until after a few more minutes I could think again. It took a bit longer for me to be able to form my mouth into words.

  “What happened?” I asked weakly.

  “Your mana got drained by the curse,” replied Shart as he examined me, “You’ll be okay in a few more minutes.”

  “I felt like I was dying.”

  “That’s to be expected. You really aren’t supposed to go to zero mana,” replied the demon, “You can’t cast down that low. For example, if you stay at zero mana or Stamina for too long, you’ll die. You were only at zero for a few seconds, you baby.”

  “So, curses can defend themselves?” I choked out.

  “Well, yes, but that’s half the point of the stupid Curse Breaker skill, to avoid that. Since you have no idea what you are doing, and that looks like a powerful curse, you got blasted.”

  “Good to know. I’m just going to lie here for a bit,” I said, sensing some fleeting warmth. That’s when I realized that I’d pissed myself.

  I started feeling worse before I felt better. At no mana, it was nearly impossible to think. At just a bit of mana. you could realize something was terribly wrong but not how to do anything about it. The sense of impending dread was horrible, but as you slowly clicked through those moments, you started feeling better. My mana regenerated at about the same speed as my Stamina, and both regenerated extremely faster than my health. I’d be topped out on both inside of 3 minutes, no matter what I’d done. At least, so far.

  It had felt like hours but it should have only been a few minutes. Sensing my mana, I could tell it was regenerating slowly. I had several prompts with a brain surrounded by lightning bolts. I checked my character sheet.

  Mana: 3/20, regeneration halved due to failed curse breaking attempt. Duration: 1 day.

  Well, that was harsh, but I didn’t really use mana for anything, so I’d survive. Losing health was agony, losing Stamina was beyond exhausting, and losing mana sucked your mental faculties right out of you. Even at 3 points, it was hard to think.

  After 30 seconds or so, it was really hard to tell, my mana regenerated up to 6 and everything became much clearer. I checked my health and Stamina, but both were totally unaffected. The statue was still there, so I’m going to call this a zero sum experience.

  Rolling onto my back, I looked up into the stars and considered their wonder and majesty. And opened up my character sheet. I had 2 coins in my view; I realized that I hadn’t bothered to level. All of my plans had been contingent on the barrier holding. My skill selection would have changed radically if I was in this town or hiding in the wilderness.

  Woodsman Level 1: You have gained the first level of the woodsman class.

  Level UP, Woodsman 1

  You have selected the Woodsman Class, please chose two stat buffs for yourself at first level!

  You have gained the skills light armor, tracking, survival, and trapping as well as all simple Weapons, and bows and you gain one rank of the specialty Archery.

  You already have skill with simple weapons. Please choose another skill or one will be chosen for you.

  You already have skill with light armor. Please c
hoose another skill or one will be chosen for you.

  Your Hit point Total is increased by 10. Your Stamina is increased by 10.

  “Shart, does anything increase regeneration?” I asked.

  “Spirit governs how quickly you regenerate all resources.” he replied.

  “I thought that endurance increased regeneration speed?”

  “No, endurance increases regeneration amount, but spirit increases it quite a bit more. Basically, Spirit reduces the window of time for you to regain resources for all three kinds; endurance increases the amount. “

  That was worth considering. I kept running out of Stamina. Having more endurance would give me more Stamina, but just increasing my Spirit might do more. It would certainly be handy to recover health faster. I dumped both points into Spirit. My head cleared slightly.

  Spirit: Good

  The length of time between my recovery periods dropped from 6 seconds to about 4. That would be handy. I could also tell that my health recovery was similarly reduced from 8 hours to 6, meaning I’d recover a third more hit points per day.

  Glancing at my skills chart, I noticed the Tracking. The Tracking skill allowed you to hone in on opponents and see their tracks if they were fresh. Survival allowed you to operate successfully in the woods, and Trapping gave you the ability to build traps. Traps sounded useful, but I’d get into that later.