Holiday House: A Series of Tales

by Catherine Sinclair

  CHAPTER VIII.

  THE BROKEN KEY.

  First he moved his right leg, Then he moved his left leg, Then he said, "I pardon beg," And sat upon his seat.

  "Oh! uncle David! uncle David!" cried Laura, when they arrived fromHoliday House, "I would jump out of the carriage window with joy to seeyou again; only the persons passing in the street might be surprised!"

  "Not at all! They are quite accustomed to see people jumping out of thewindows with joy, whenever I appear."

  "We have so much to tell you," exclaimed Harry and Laura, each seizinghold of a hand, "we hardly know where to begin!"

  "Ladies and gentlemen! If you both talk at once, I must get a new pairof ears! So you have not been particularly miserable at Holiday House?"

  "No! no! uncle David! we did not think there had been so much happinessin the world," answered Laura, eagerly. "The last two days we could donothing but play and laugh, and"----

  "And grow fat! Why! you both look so well fed, you are just fit forkilling! I shall be obliged to shut you up two or three days, withoutanything to eat, as is done to pet lap-dogs, when they are gettingcorpulent and gouty."

  "Then we shall be like bears living on our paws," replied Harry, "anduncle David! I would rather do that, than be a glutton like Peter Grey.He went to a cheap shop lately, where old cheese-cakes were sold athalf-price, and greedily devoured nearly a dozen, thinking that the deadflies scattered on the top were currants, till Frank shewed him hismistake!"

  "Frank should have let him eat in peace! There is no accounting fortastes. I once knew a lady who liked to swallow spiders! She used tocrack and eat them with the greatest delight, whenever she could catchone."

  "Oh! what a horrid woman! That is even worse than grandmama's storyabout Dr. Manvers having dined on a dish of mice, fried in crumbs ofbread!"

  "You know the old proverb, Harry, 'one man's meat is another man'spoison.' The Persians are disgusted at our eating lobsters; and theHindoos think us scarcely fit to exist, because we live on beef; whilewe are equally amazed at the Chinese for devouring dog pies, andbirds'-nest soup. You turn up your nose at the French for liking frogs;and they think us ten times worse with our singed sheep's head, oatcakes, and haggis."

  "That reminds me," said Lady Harriet, "that when Charles X. lived inwhat he called the 'dear Canongate,' His Majesty was heard to say, thathe tried every sort of Scotch goose, 'the solan goose, the wild goose,and the tame goose; but the best goose of all, was the hag-goose.'"

  "Very polite, indeed, to adopt our national taste so completely,"observed uncle David, smiling. "When my regiment was quartered in Spain,an officer of ours, a great epicure, and not quite so complaisant, usedto say that the country was scarcely fit to live in, because there it iscustomary to dress almost every dish with sugar. At last, one day, in arage, he ordered eggs to be brought up in their shells for dinner,saying, 'that is the only thing the cook cannot possibly spoil.' Weplayed him a trick, however, which was very like what you would havedone, Harry, on a similar occasion. I secretly put pounded sugar intothe salt-cellar, and when he tasted his first mouthful, you should haveseen the look of fury with which he sprung off his seat, exclaiming,'the barbarians eat sugar even with their eggs!'"

  "That would be the country for me to travel in," said Harry. "I couldlive in a barrel of sugar; and my little pony, Tom Thumb, would be happyto accompany me there, as he likes anything sweet."

  "All animals are of the same opinion. I remember the famous rider,Ducrow, telling a brother-officer of mine, that the way in which hegains so much influence over his horses, is merely by bribing them withsugar. They may be managed in that way like children, and are quiteaware, if it be taken from them as a punishment for being restive."

  "Oh! those beautiful horses at Ducrow's! How often I think of them sincewe were there!" exclaimed Harry. "They were quite like fairies, withfine arched necks, and long tails!"

  "I never heard before of a fairy with a long tail, Master Harry; butperhaps in the course of your travels you may have seen such a thing."

  "How I should like to ride upon Tom Thumb, in Ducrow's way, with my toeon the saddle!"

  "Fine doings indeed!" exclaimed Mrs. Crabtree, who had entered the roomat this moment. "Have you forgotten already, Master Harry, how many ofthe nursery plates you broke one day when I was out, in trying to copythat there foolish Indian juggler, who tossed his plates in the air, andtwirled them on his thumb! There must be no more such nonsense; for ifonce your neck is broke by a fall off Tom Thumb, no doctor that I knowof can mend it again. Remember what a terrible tumble you had off Jessylast year!"

  "You are always speaking about that little overturn, Mrs. Crabtree; andit was not worth recollecting above a week! Did you never see a manthrown off his horse before?"

  "A man and horse indeed!" said uncle David, laughing, when he looked atHarry. "You and your charger were hardly large enough then for atoy-shop; and you must grow a little more, Captain Gulliver, before youwill be fit for a dragoon regiment."

  Harry and Laura stayed very quietly at home for several weeks aftertheir return from Holiday House, attending so busily to lessons, thatuncle David said he felt much afraid they were going to be a pair oflittle wonders, who would die of too much learning.

  "You will be taken ill of the multiplication table some day, andconfined to bed with a violent fit of geography! Pray take care ofyourselves, and do not devour above three books at once," said MajorGraham one day, entering the room with a note in his hand. "Here is aninvitation that I suppose you are both too busy to accept, so perhaps Imight as well send an apology; eh, Harry?"

  Down dropped the lesson-books upon the floor, and up sprung Harry in anecstacy of delight. "An invitation! Oh! I like an invitation so verymuch! Pray tell us all about it!"

  "Perhaps it is an invitation to spend a month with Dr. Lexicon. Whatwould you say to that? They breakfast upon Latin grammars at school, andhave a dish of real French verbs, smothered in onions, for dinner everyday."

  "But in downright earnest, uncle David! where are we going?"

  "Must I tell you? Well! that good-natured old lady, Mrs. Darwin, intendstaking a large party of children next week, in her own carriage, to passten days at Ivy Lodge, a charming country house about twenty miles off,where you are all to enjoy perfect happiness. I wish I could be grounddown into a little boy myself, for the occasion! Poor good woman! what alife she will lead! There is only one little drawback to your delight,that I am almost afraid to announce."

  "What is that, uncle David?" asked Harry, looking as if nothing innature could ever make him grave again. "Are we to bite off our ownnoses before we return?"

  "Not exactly; but somebody is to be of the party who will do it for you.Mrs. Darwin has heard that there are certain children who becomeoccasionally rather unmanageable! I cannot think who they can be, for itis certainly nobody we ever saw; so she has requested that Mrs. Crabtreewill follow in the mail-coach."

  Harry and Laura looked as if a glass of cold water had been thrown intheir faces, after this was mentioned; but they soon forgot every littlevexation, in a burst of joy, when, some days afterwards, Mrs. Darwinstopped at the door to pick them up, in the most curious-lookingcarriage they had ever seen. It was a very large open car, as round as abird's nest, and so perfectly crowded with children, that nobody couldhave supposed any room left even for a doll; but Mrs. Darwin said thatwhatever number of people came in, there was always accommodation forone more; and this really proved to be the case, for Harry and Laurasoon elbowed their way into seats and set off, waving theirhandkerchiefs to Major Graham, who had helped to pack them in, and whonow stood smiling at the door.

  As this very large vehicle was drawn by only one horse, it proceededvery slowly; but Mrs. Darwin amused the children with several verydiverting stories, and gave them a grand luncheon in the carriage; afterwhich, they threw what was left, wrapped up in an old newspaper, to somepeople breaking stones on the road, feeling quite delighted to see thesurprise a
nd joy of the poor labourers when they opened the parcel. Inshort, everybody became sorry when this diverting journey was finished,and they drove up, at last, to the gate of a tall old house, that lookedas if it had been built in the year one. The walls were very thick, andquite mouldy with age. Indeed, the only wonder was, that Ivy Lodge hadstill a roof upon its head, for every thing about it looked so totteringand decayed. The very servants were all old; and a white-headed butleropened the door, who looked as frail and gloomy as the house; but beforelong, the old walls of Ivy Lodge rung and echoed again with sounds ofmirth and joy. It seemed to have been built on purpose for hide andseek; there were rooms with invisible doors, and closets cut in thewalls, and great old chests where people might have been buried alivefor a year, without being found out. The gardens, too, were perfectlyenchanting. Such arbours to take strawberries and cream in! and suchsummer-houses, where they drank tea out of doors every evening! Herethey saw a prodigious eagle, fastened to the ground by a chain, andlooking the most dull, melancholy creature in the world; while Harrywished the poor bird might be liberated, and thought how delightful itwould be to stand by and see him soaring away to his native skies.

  "Yes! with a large slice of raw meat in his beak!" said Peter Grey, whowas always thinking of eating. "I dare say he lives much better here,than he would do killing his own mutton up in the clouds there, ortaking his chance of a dead horse on the sea-shore occasionally."

  Harry and Peter were particularly amused with Mrs. Darwin's curiouscollection of pets. There were black swans with red bills, swimminggracefully in a pond close to the window, and ready to rush forward onthe shortest notice, for a morsel of bread. The lop-eared rabbits alsosurprised them, with their ears hanging down to the ground, and theywere interested to see a pair of carrier-pigeons which could carryletters as well as the postman. Mrs. Darwin showed them tumbler pigeonstoo, that performed a summerset in the air when they flew, and horsemenand dragoon pigeons, trumpeters and pouters, till Peter Grey at lastbegged to see the pigeons that made the pigeon-pies, and the cow thatgave the butter-milk; he was likewise very anxious for leave to bringhis fishing-rod into the drawing-room, to try whether he could catch oneof the beautiful gold-fish that swam about in a large glass globe,saying he thought it might perhaps be very good to eat at breakfast.Mrs. Darwin had a pet lamb that she was exceedingly fond of, because itfollowed her everywhere, and Harry, who was very fond of the littlecreature, said he wished some plan could be invented to hinder its evergrowing into a great fat vulgar sheep; and he thought the white micewere old animals that had grown grey with years.

  There were donkies for the children to ride upon, and Mrs. Darwin had aboat that held the whole party, to sail in, round the pond, and she hungup a swing that seemed to fly about as high as the house, which theyswung upon, after which they were allowed to shake the fruit-trees, andto eat whatever came down about their ears; so it very often rainedapples and pears in the gardens at Ivy Lodge, for Peter seemed never totire of that joke; indeed the apple-trees had a sad life of it as longas he remained.

  Peter told Mrs. Darwin that he had "a patent appetite," which was alwaysready on every occasion; but the good lady became so fond of stuffingthe children at all hours, that even he felt a little puzzled sometimeshow to dispose of all she heaped upon his plate, while both Harry andLaura, who were far from greedy, became perfectly wearied of hearing thegong. The whole party assembled at eight every morning, to partake ofporridge and butter-milk, after which, at ten, they breakfasted withMrs. Darwin on tea, muffins, and sweetmeats. They then drove in theround open car, to bathe in the sea, on their return from which,luncheon was always ready, and after concluding that, they might passthe interval till dinner among the fruit-trees. They never could eatenough to please Mrs. Darwin at dinner; tea followed, on a mostsubstantial plan; their supper consisted of poached eggs, and the maidwas desired to put a biscuit under every visitor's pillow, in case theyoung people should be hungry in the night, for Mrs. Darwin said she hadbeen starved at school herself, when she was a little girl, and wishednobody ever to suffer, as she had done, from hunger.

  The good lady was so anxious for everything to be exactly as thechildren liked it, that sometimes Laura felt quite at a loss what to sayor do. One day, having cracked her egg-shell at breakfast, Mrs. Darwinpeeped anxiously over her shoulder, saying,

  "I hope, my dear! your egg is all right?"

  "Most excellent indeed!"

  "Is it quite fresh?"

  "Perfectly! I dare say it was laid only a minute before it was boiled!"

  "I have seen the eggs much larger than that."

  "Yes! but then I believe they are rather coarse,--at least we think so,when Mrs. Crabtree gives us a turkey egg at dinner."

  "If you prefer them small, perhaps you would like a guinea-fowl's egg?"

  "Thank you! but this one is just as I like them."

  "It looks rather over-done! If you think so, we could get another in aminute!"

  "No! they are better well boiled!"

  "Then probably it is not enough done. Some people like them quite hard,and I could easily pop it into the slop-basin for another minute."

  "I am really obliged to you, but it could not be improved."

  "Do you not take any more salt with your egg?"

  "No, I thank you!"

  "A few more grains would improve it!"

  "If you say so, I dare say they will."

  "Ah! now I am afraid you have put in too much! pray do get another!"

  This long-continued attack upon her egg was too much for Laura'sgravity, who appeared for some minutes to have a violent fit ofcoughing, and ending in a burst of laughter, after which she hastilyfinished all that remained of it, and thus ended the discussion.

  In the midst of all their happiness, while the children thought thatevery succeeding day had no fault but being too short, and Harry evenplanned with Peter to stop the clock altogether, and see whether timeitself would not stand still, nobody ever thought for a moment ofanything but joy; and yet a very sad and sudden distress awaited Mrs.Darwin. One forenoon she received a letter that seemed very hastily andawkwardly folded,--the seal was all to one side, and surrounded withstray drops of red wax,--the direction appeared sadly blotted, and atthe top was written in large letters, the words, "To be deliveredimmediately."

  When Mrs. Darwin hurriedly tore open this very strange-looking letter,she found that it came from her own housekeeper in town, to announce thedreadful event that her sister, Lady Barnet, had been that day seizedwith an apoplectic fit, and was thought to be at the point of death,therefore it was hoped that Mrs. Darwin would not lose an hour inreturning to town, that she might be present on the melancholy occasion.The shock of hearing this news was so very great, that poor Mrs. Darwincould not speak about it, but after trying to compose herself for a fewminutes, she went into the play-room, and told the children that, forreasons she could not explain, they must get ready to return home in anhour, when the car would be at the door for their journey.

  Nothing could exceed their surprise on hearing Mrs. Darwin make such anunexpected proposal. At first Peter Grey thought she was speaking injest, and said he would prefer if she ordered out a balloon to travelin, this morning; but when it appeared that Mrs. Darwin was really inearnest about their pleasant visit being over so soon, Harry's face grewperfectly red with passion, while he said in a loud angry voice,

  "Grandmama allowed me to stay here till Friday!--and I was invited tostay,--and I will not go anywhere else!"

  "Oh fie, Master Harry!" said Mrs. Crabtree. "Do not talk so! You oughtto know better! I shall soon teach you, however, to do as you are bid!"

  Saying these words, she stretched out her hand to seize violent hold ofhim, but Harry dipped down and escaped. Quickly opening the door, heran, half in joke and half in earnest, at full speed up two pairs ofstairs, followed closely by Mrs. Crabtree, who was now in a terriblerage, especially when she saw what a piece of fun Harry thought thisfatiguing race. A door happened to be sta
nding wide open on the secondlanding-place, which, having been observed by Harry, he darted in, andslammed it in Mrs. Crabtree's face, locking and double-locking it, tosecure his own safety, after which he sat down in this empty apartmentto enjoy his victory in peace. When people once begin to growself-willed and rebellious, it is impossible to guess where it will allend! Harry might have been easily led to do right at first, if any onehad reasoned with him and spoken kindly, but now he really was in a sortof don't-care-a-button humour, and scarcely minded what he did next.

  As long as Mrs. Crabtree continued to scold and rave behind the door,Harry grew harder and harder; but at length the good old lady, Mrs.Darwin herself, arrived up stairs, and represented how ungrateful hewas, not doing all in his power to please her, when she had taken somuch pains to make him happy. This brought the little rebel round in amoment, as he became quite sensible of his own misconduct, and resolvedimmediately to submit. Accordingly, Harry tried to open the door, but,what is very easily done cannot sometimes be undone, which turned outthe case on this occasion, as, with all his exertions, the key would notturn in the lock! Harry tried it first one way, then another. He twistedwith his whole strength, till his face became perfectly scarlet with theeffort, but in vain! At last he put the poker through the handle of thekey, thinking this a very clever plan, and quite sure to succeed, butafter a desperate struggle, the unfortunate key broke in two, so thennobody could possibly open the door!

  After this provoking accident happened, Harry felt what a very bad boyhe had been, so he burst into tears, and called through the key-hole tobeg Mrs. Darwin's pardon, while Mrs. Crabtree scolded him through thekey-hole in return, till Harry shrunk away as if a cannonading had begunat his ear.

  Meantime, Mrs. Darwin hurried off, racking her brains to think what hadbest be done to deliver the prisoner, since no time could be lost, orshe might perhaps not get to town at all that night, and the car wasexpected every minute, to come round for the travellers. The gardenersaid he thought it might be possible to find a few ladders, which, beingtied one above another, would perhaps reach as high as the window, whereHarry had now appeared, and by which he could easily scramble down; sothe servants made haste to fetch all they could find, and to borrow allthey could see, till a great many were collected. These they joinedtogether very strongly with ropes, but when it was at last rearedagainst the wall, to the great disappointment of Mrs. Darwin, theladder appeared a yard and a-half too short!

  What was to be done?

  The obliging gardener mounted to the very top of his ladder, and Harryleaned so far over the window, he seemed in danger of falling out, butstill they did not reach one another, so not a single person could guesswhat plan was to be tried next. At length Harry called out very loudlyto the gardener,

  "Hollo! Mr. King of Spades! If I were to let myself drop very gentlydown from the window, could you catch me in your arms?"

  "Mr. Harry! Mr. Harry! if you dare!" cried Mrs. Crabtree, shaking herfist at him. "You'll be broken in pieces like a tea-pot, you'll be madeas flat as a pancake! Stay where you are! Do ye hear!"

  But Harry seemed suddenly grown deaf, and was now more than halfout--fixing his fingers very firmly on the ledge of the window, andslowly dropping his legs downwards.

  "Oh Harry! you will be killed!" screamed Laura. "Stop! stop! Harry, areyou mad? can nobody stop him?"

  But nobody could stop him, for, being so high above everybody's head,Harry had it all his own way, and was now nearly hanging altogether outof the window, but he stopped a single minute, and called out, "Do notbe frightened, Laura! I have behaved very ill, and deserve the worstthat can happen. If I do break my head, it will save Mrs. Crabtree thetrouble of breaking it for me, after I come down."

  The gardener now balanced himself steadily on the upper step of theladder, and spread his arms out, while Harry slowly let himself drop.Laura tried to look on without screaming out, as that might havestartled him, but the scene became too frightful, so she closed hereyes, put her hands over her face and turned away, while her heart beatso violently, that it might almost have been heard. Even Mrs. Crabtreeclasped her hands in an agony of alarm, while Mrs. Darwin put up herpocket handkerchief, and could not look on another moment. An awfulpause took place, during which, a feather falling on the ground wouldhave startled them, when suddenly a loud shout from Peter Grey and theother children, which was gaily echoed from the top of the ladder, madeLaura venture to look up, and there was Harry safe in the gardener'sarms, who soon helped him down to the ground, where he immediately askedpardon of everybody for the fright he had given them.

  There was no time for more than half a scold from Mrs. Crabtree, as Mrs.Darwin's car had been waiting some time; so Harry said she might beowing him the rest, on some future occasion.

  "Yes! and a hundred lashes besides!" added Peter Grey, laughing. "Praytouch him up well, Mrs. Crabtree, when you are about it. There is no lawagainst cruelty to boys!"

  This put Mrs. Crabtree into such a rage, that she followed Peter with aperfect hail-storm of angry words, till at last, for a joke, he put upMrs. Darwin's umbrella to screen himself, and immediately afterwards thecar drove slowly off.

  When uncle David heard all the adventures at Ivy Lodge, he listened mostattentively to "the confessions of Master Harry Graham," and shook hishead in a most serious manner after they were concluded, saying, "I havealways thought that boys are like cats, with nine lives at least! Youshould be hung up in a basket, Harry, as they do with unruly boys in theSouth Sea Islands, where such young gentlemen as you are left danglingin the air for days together without a possibility of escape!"

  "I would not care for that compared with being teazed and worried byMrs. Crabtree. I really wish, uncle David, that Dr. Bell would order menever to be scolded any more! It is very bad for me! I generally feel anodd sort of over-all-ish-ness as soon as she begins; and I am gettingtoo big now, for any thing but a birch-rod like Frank. How pleasant itis to be a grown-up man, uncle David, as you are, sitting all day at theclub with your hat on your head, and nothing to do but look out of thewindow. That is what I call happiness!"

  "But once upon a time, Harry," said Lady Harriet, "when I stopped in thecarriage for your uncle David at the club, he was in the middle of sucha yawn at the window, that he very nearly dislocated his jaw! it wasquite alarming to see him, and he told me in a great secret, that thelongest and most tiresome hours of his life are, when he has nothingparticular to do."

  "Now, at this moment, I have nothing particular to do," said MajorGraham, "therefore I shall tell you a wonderful story, children, aboutliking to be idle or busy, and you must find out the moral foryourselves."

  "A story! a story!" cried Harry and Laura, in an ecstacy of delight, andas they each had a knee of uncle David's, which belonged to themselves,they scrambled into their places, exclaiming, "Now let it be all aboutvery bad boys, and giants, and fairies!"