Last Laugh

by Rahiem Brooks

  “Fuck dat, Darryl. I want him indicted, and if you don’t do it than I am going to be forced to asked your boss to fire you.”

  Darryl laughed.

  He paced from one end of his office to another, looked at the agent, and then gave her a sly grin.

  “Do I look like I give a damn about you telling my boss on me, tattle tits?”

  “Gee that’s original, you fucking cop wannabe. Never knew you to be caddy. But that’s nice to know,” she said and stood. “I promise to get the last laugh here. When I leave, I am going to get enough warrants to investigate everything about you. I think the Bezel Brothers have gotten to you with their money.”

  “That’s even more original. Why the hell would I let them buy me?”

  “Money. Greed. Like everyone else. You need to know that I am going to put a microscope so far up your ass that you’ll see my face every time you spread your ass cheeks.”

  Darryl bursts into laughter. “Only a veteran federal agent would make such a dumb ass comment. Are you done?”

  “I’m not, but I am leaving. Expect to hear from me again, asshole.”

  “I’ll be waiting, cunt.”

  48

  UNITED STATES COURTHOUSE

  Just after 11 a.m. Ravonne Lemmelle exited the elevator on the 11th floor of the United States District Court for the Eastern District of Pennsylvania. His client, currently an accused felon, was being released because the charges were being dropped. He had did it, and kept his record against the feds unblemished. This wasn’t like a trial where he actually garnered an acquittal. However, it will look great on his resume when being reviewed by criminals that wanted to pay his $500 an hour fee.

  The minute that he walked into courtroom 1102, he felt like he was thrown off the Golden Gate Bridge at the height of rush hour. The entire room was shaking with energy, and he doubted that the judge knew all about what was happening in his lair. The prosecutors were huddled up and Ravonne hoped that Darryl didn’t pull a fast one. The court clerk, reporter, and US marshals were inside the well of the courtroom, gracing the area of the court where the magic happened. Ravonne walked closer to the well, pushed the swinging door open, and entered the sacred ground. There were books and papers all over the prosecutor’s table and he didn’t understand what the hell all the paperwork was needed for. Just tell the judge you fucked up and let’s keep it moving. We don’t need all the relevant US Crimes Codes read for us to understand your admission of getting it wrong this time.

  On the whole, the courtroom had a dark and mysterious aura about it, thanks to the cheap, deep, gray carpet and dark brown wallpaper. How about livening this place up with some blues and yellows? The lighting was low, and the room seemed dimly lit. Ravonne was not there facing charges, but he felt his life was over.

  A door on the side of the jury box opened and in came Kareem Bezel, shackled and handcuffed, with a smile on his face. The marshal sat him next to Ravonne and removed his handcuffs, then backed up and took a seat in one of the chairs that lined the wall separating it from the gallery.

  “You can take off these shackles, as well,” Kareem said and balled up his face. “No doubt, I am out of this bitch today.” He nodded and then winked at the marshal who ignored him. Kareem turned to Ravonne, and said, “Pardon me. Good morning, sir.”

  “Oh, how nice of you,” Ravonne said and gave him a dirty look. He then grinned. “You owe me big time for getting you out of doing big time.”

  “Yeah, yeah,” Kareem said. “Who are all those people back there?”

  “Who else?” Laughter. “Your fans. Every reporter in town camped out for two hours for tickets to this show.”

  “Mr. Lemelle are you ready to go?” The court clerk asked. He wore an expensive designer tie and shoes that he received from Nordstrom

  Ravonne said, “Yes, let’s get this dog and pony show on the road.” He threw on his pince-nez and got into character.

  “He irks me.” Ravonne heard a prosecutor say.

  Ravonne slowly raised from his seat and walked over to the prosecutors table. He looked at two prosecutors and the FBI Agent that initiated charges against Kareem Bezel.

  “Good morning, Darryl. How are ya?” Ravonne asked, and then added. “I know this is painful, but it had to be done. Let your colleague here know that this is not a result of my magic, but your FBI agent sitting over there ignoring me dropped the ball here.”

  “Ravonne, get away from this table,” the FBI Agent replied, and stood up. He walked over to Ravonne, leaned into him, and whispered in his ear. “I’ll have everything about you investigated and if you’ve so much as cheated the government out of $1 on your taxes, I’ll have you arrested, jailed, and your license taken.”

  Ravonne leaned a little closer, and then replied, “As a federal agent you know that making threats is a crime, and in this building a federal one. You should be arrested for wasting the courts time and money on this bogus prosecution.”

  “All rise,” the court clerk said. “The Honorable Joseph Defaria presiding.”

  “I’ll see you next time,” the agent said, spun on his heels and headed back to his seat.

  “Please be seated and let’s take attendance,” the judge said and plopped into a tall, ebony, leather chair.

  “Darryl LAST NAME for the government.”

  “Ravonne Lemmelle on behalf of Mr. Kareem Bezel, Your Honor.”

  “Great. We’re here for a government’s motion, correct?” the judge asked, and wiped his glasses. He looked good from his perch, with his new perm creating very curly locks in his hair. His voice and demeanor were calm, and as usual his skin was blanched highlighting his rosy cheeks.

  Darryl stood, and said, “Yes, Your Honor. The government wishes to dismiss all charges. You have the motion in front of you.”

  “I see,” the judge said and shifted in his seat. He looked at the prosecutor and thought, Whose side are you on? He had been with the US attorneys before becoming a judge and in all of his years he had only witnessed one motion to withdraw a prosecution. “I have read your motion, and for the record, I’d like a few details on the record for the Appeals Court just in case there’s a need.”

  “I’d object, Your Honor.” Ravonne interjected. He didn’t need the media having every detail of the government’s case laid out coming from the prosecutor’s mouth. The motion was open to the public and they could read it there.”

  The judge looked at Darryl for any rebuttal. “Your Honor, may I confer with the defense attorney a second?”

  Judge Defaria was confused, but he said, “Sure.”

  Darryl walked over to Ravonne, and whispered, “I have a confession.”

  “Tell it to your pastor, Darryl. No tricks today, pal. Do you see this media? It’s not fair to anyone here for you to lay out the facts on open record. Can we at least move into the judge’s chambers?”

  “No,” Darryl said and walked away from Ravonne. He pulled his cell phone out and connected it to the monitor. “I’d like to proceed, Your Honor.”

  “Objection, overruled, Lemmelle,” the Judge said and then to Darryl he said, “Proceed.”

  “I’d like to submit this video as the government’s exhibit 1,” Darryl said, and let the video play when the judge entered the video in as evidence.

  On the monitor was DEA Agent Lucas McKenzey dressed as woman sitting on Darryl’s sofa in his home. Darryl said, “Your Honor, that woman in my home is actually, former DEA Agent Lucas McKenzey. He came to my home dressed in drag after I had met him in a seedy part of town seemingly by accident but at this point I am not sure.”

  “What the hell is going on here?” Kareem whispered to Ravonne.

  “A prosecutor is about to go to jail.”

  Darryl went on. “This demon broke into my home and found out one of my dark secrets and then tracked me to a gay bath house. In exchange not to be outted, I provoked the BOP to transfer Kareem Bezel from Philadelphia County custody and back to FDC. I then provided the agent with s
pecific details to kidnap the defendant. But it didn’t stop there.”

  “You son of a bitch,” Kareem blurted out.

  Judge Defaria banged his gavel. “Control your client, Mr Lemmelle. He’s not free, yet? And I’ll hold him for contempt very quickly.”

  “Yes, Your Honor,” Ravonne replied.

  “McKenzey kidnapped my mother and forced me to help him kidnap the defendant in order to get her back. I drove McKenzey to kidnap the defendant and I watched him kill the two marshals and then pull off with the defendant in the cop’s car. And with that I know beyond any reasonable doubts that Mr. Bezel was not responsible for the charges laid out in the indictment.”

  The courtroom was silent. Everyone hung onto every word spoken by the prosecutor, and could not believe what they had heard. No one more surprised than his assistant prosecutor, and the FBI agent.

  Judge Defaria hung his head low and then shifted in his seat again. Beads of sweat could be seen forming on his face. To Darryl, he said, “I see this is a motion to dismiss with prejudice?”

  “Yes, Your Honor. Speaking with my boss, we have an understanding that these charges are not to be brought against the defendant again.”

  “Well, then Mr. Bezel. The charges against you are dropped and you’re free to go.”

  Ravonne was stunned. He knew that his client was going to be released, but had no idea that Darryl was truly about to confess to committing crimes that would surely land him behind bars. He couldn’t think straight and he was then distracted by Kareem telling the marshal to remove his shackles under the loud blare of a yell.

  Kareem turned around and found Darryl laid out in the middle of the well with blood forming around his face. The prosecutor had stabbed himself in the heart and throat.

  * * *

  Outside the courthouse, Kareem was greeted by more news cameras and microphones than a celebrity walking down an Oscars Award’s red carpet. They hurled question after question to him, all of which he ignored until one caught his attention.

  “What are you going to do now?”

  Kareem stopped in his tracks, and turned to the reporter. Leaning into the man’s tape recorder, Kareem smiled, and said, “I am going to join my family in Walt Disney World.”

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