The Face At the Window

by Ruby Speechley

  ‘It’ll really unnerve her,’ she says in a low whispery voice, ‘she’ll question him but end up questioning herself when she realizes she can’t believe a word he says. The evidence will be screaming the truth right there in front of her.’

  ‘Will it be enough to make her leave him, though?’

  She tips her head from side to side. ‘Alternatively, I have another plan.’ She pauses, her eyes alight, fingers steepled.

  ‘Go on.’

  ‘When you do see him again, how about I film it, or take photos? Then we can post them online.’

  ‘Great idea. We could clone his Facebook page, if he’s still not blocked you?’

  Amy clicks on her phone and opens the app. ‘I’m still in.’

  ‘Good. So if he doesn’t come back to me, we can invite all his friends to his new page to see what he’s been up to.’

  ‘I’ll make a start on it tonight.’ She checks her watch. ‘I’d better get going.’

  ‘Hang on a sec, what’s this other idea you were going to tell me?’

  Amy leans close to my ear. ‘Why don’t you tell Cole that you’re pregnant too,’ she whispers.

  Chapter Forty-Two

  Monday 13 August 2018

  Gemma

  ‘There’s an update on the man outside the supermarket,’ Greg says, looking up from his phone. ‘He’s come forward after seeing the CCTV still of himself on the news. He says he was waiting outside the store for his wife who went in to buy a newspaper and two bottles of cold water but got stuck in a queue.’

  ‘So he has nothing to do with Rosie?’ I ask.

  ‘It seems not. His wife confirmed his story as did her receipt. The time matches up. When they checked the CCTV again, she can be seen walking behind him and stopping to look at a flower stall, that’s why we’d not put them together.’

  I sigh. ‘So what does this mean now?’

  ‘We’re back to Thomas with Rosie and her accomplice. At least we can assume they are looking after him well, considering all the supplies they bought.’

  ‘That doesn’t mean they’re going to bring him back, though, does it?’

  ‘I’m afraid not. When did you say Nick was coming back?’

  ‘He didn’t tell me, why?’

  ‘It looks like his Facebook page has been cloned.’

  ‘When I last tried to call him his phone was switched off.’

  ‘We need him back here as soon as possible so we can ask him if he knows anything about who might have done it.’

  My phone beeps. It’s Twitter alerting me I’ve been tagged in over fifty posts. I swipe through them, all have the hashtag #MissingBaby. I shouldn’t read them, but I can’t stop myself.

  I don’t believe a word they say. That poor baby!

  Bet you anything they’re the guilty ones. The father’s right shifty.

  Rosie can’t be found because she doesn’t exist – I reckon they made it all up to save themselves.

  It’s a cover up. They killed their own baby. Evil bastards!

  Did you see the guilt all over their faces?!! Some people don’t deserve to have kids.

  What kind of mother kills her own flesh and blood? She should be locked up for life.

  She’s one of those selfish mothers who put their career first. They should be hanged for this.

  ‘What on earth is going on?’ I show my phone to Greg and Becca. Greg takes it from me I’m shaking so much.

  Their shocked faces say it all.

  I retch and run to the toilet.

  I didn’t think it was possible for this nightmare to get any worse.

  But it just did.

  Chapter Forty-Three

  30 July 2018

  Scarlett

  The next day I put my bikini on after breakfast and take a towel into the garden. My shift doesn’t start until 2 p.m. so I can make the most of the morning. Amy hates ‘getting her body out’ as she calls it. She wears a long flowing cotton top, jeans and canvas slip-ons. She won’t even wear flip-flops because she hates her feet. She must be roasting. Anyway, there’s no point because she doesn’t tan at all. Her skin is so pale it’s see-through and turns pink if left in the sun for more than ten minutes.

  Amy sits next to me on the grass without a towel. She doesn’t mind the thought of ants or spiders running over her skin. Cockroaches are the main bug she has an issue with, especially because they were in her old flat. She says I’m welcome to be scared of everything else.

  Pollen fills the air and the tiny spores float by on the breeze. My nose tingles. A motorbike buzzes somewhere in the distance. I swing my legs off the sun lounger.

  ‘What do you think of my idea then?’

  ‘I don’t know, Amy. Do you really think he’ll believe I’m having his baby?’

  ‘Why not? It’ll give him a good reason to leave the mouse.’

  ‘I’ll think about it. Fancy an ice cream?’

  ‘Yes, please.’

  Mum is home at lunchtime. She changes into her swimsuit and sun hat and joins us in the garden holding a large G&T.

  Amy and I check the mouse’s Insta page. There’s a new arty one of a cappuccino with a stencil of a heart marked out with cinnamon on the froth, laid out on one of their rustic wooden tables with an open book. There’s a selfie of her taken from the side, hand across her bump, except I’m not looking at the baby to be, my eyes are firmly on the rock on her finger. She never wears rings at work. The solitaire must be two carats at least. I zoom in. Even her wedding ring has diamonds in it. I would kill for an engagement ring like that. He must really love her to splash out that much. My stomach folds in on itself with jealousy. I leave a few choice words.

  I stand up and Amy follows me indoors. I stop in the hall and keep my voice low. ‘I’m going to see if he’ll meet me. I’ve decided to tell him this bit of good news.’ I touch my flat stomach.

  We grin at each other and fist-pump.

  I Snapchat Cole asking when we can meet because I have something important to tell him. I’m surprised when he texts back straight away.

  What is it? Are you OK?

  Not really. I can’t tell you on here.

  Oh babe, don’t do anything stupid.

  Can you meet me?

  I can come to the park – 9 p.m.?

  I’ll be waiting.

  I hold the screen up to Amy before the message disappears and we high five each other. When Cole told me he loved me, that we could be together because he was divorcing his wife, he made a promise he can’t break as far as I’m concerned. He’s not been with her for the whole pregnancy according to him, so why get back with her now? I need to see him again, find out what’s really going on and tell him I’m pregnant with his baby too, so what’s he going to do about that? He needs to make up his mind.

  Chapter Forty-Four

  30 July 2018

  Scarlett

  It’s a beautiful balmy evening with people chatting and drinking outside the pub on the embankment. Darkness is beginning to fall and the lights along the river are twinkling as couples stroll up and down, arm in arm. I hurry along to the park further down from there and wait on a bench tucked away from the main walkthrough. Amy is already there, hiding behind a bush near the litter bin. We decided it was safer if I arrive by myself in case Cole is checking out if I’m alone or not as we agreed. She left a good twenty minutes before I did, so as not to bump into him. We decided it would give her time to get into a comfortable position. All I have to do is try and keep him here so that she can record our conversation and try and take photos too.

  He arrives dead on time. I throw my arms around him and he hugs me back, rubbing his hands up and down my body. Just the smell of him sends me into dizzy excitement and I have to remind myself what I’m here for. I kiss his lips but he pulls away, lets go of me.

  ‘What is it you want to tell me?’ he asks in such a formal way, it startles me. ‘You sure it’s not you sending me these bloody emails?’

  ‘No, of course not
.’

  ‘See.’ He shows me the message.

  Think you’re so clever, don’t you? But you haven’t got a clue what’s coming to you.

  Experience points collected: 8,237

  Countdown: Three lives remaining.

  ‘What does it mean? Who’s doing this?’ He stuffs his phone in his pocket.

  ‘I don’t know.’ I touch his arm. I can’t help it, I will him to hold me again. ‘When are you going to leave her?’

  ‘I’m not, babe, I’m sorry, you know I can’t… not now.’ He cups my face and I lose myself in his serious eyes.

  ‘Just because she’s having a child?’ I try not to sound whiny, but I can’t help it.

  ‘I’m going to be a dad any day now.’ He blinks and his eyes redden. I am not the person he should be gushing to.

  ‘You said you two were over, have you forgotten?’ I fold my arms.

  ‘I thought I made it clear.’ He strokes my chin. ‘In another life things could have been so different.’ I push his hand away.

  ‘You promised me.’ The burn in my cheeks has gone up a notch. ‘We were happy together. Why did you take her back?’

  ‘Because I need to give being a dad my best shot. You must understand that? For the sake of my baby. He or she needs both parents.’ He ends with a one-note laugh, like I’ve missed a private joke.

  I don’t comment and my silence unnerves him. He looks around, probably checking who might have noticed us. If I never speak again will he continue speaking for me? Deciding what I should and shouldn’t do because it suits him?

  ‘We had some fun together, though, didn’t we?’ He strokes my face with the back of his hand. ‘You’ll find someone new, I know you will. A beautiful, talented girl like you.’

  ‘Someone my own age, you mean?’

  ‘Yeah, why not. If that’s what you want.’ He digs his hand in his pocket, looks around as though he’s worried someone will see us. Has he suddenly remembered that he’s at least seventeen years older than me? A rustling comes from the bushes by the fence. I resist looking in Amy’s direction and hope he doesn’t think anything of it.

  ‘You’ve not told anyone about us, have you?’ He takes out a cigarette and lights it, blows the first drag of smoke at the ground. A man in luminous green shorts and T-shirt jogs towards us, rubbernecking as he goes past. Cole tuts loudly.

  ‘Don’t you love me any more?’ Hot tears push at my eyes.

  He takes my hand and his gaze slides over me as he constructs a suitable answer.

  ‘Love between a man and his wife is… different to any other… it’s deeper, enduring, more forgiving. Yes, I love you, of course I do, but we can stay friends, can’t we?’

  ‘Friends?’ I push him in the chest. ‘After everything we… we did together?’

  He steps back, his eyes roving from side to side as though he fears someone is going to jump him any second.

  ‘Maybe that was not the right word. Utterly wrong, in fact. The thing is, I care about you – you know in your heart I do, otherwise I wouldn’t be here with you now, would I?’

  ‘But you don’t love me enough. You don’t want me any more.’

  ‘I have to try and do right by my wife and our unborn baby.’ His voice is pleading but with the hint of a sharper edge. He’s losing his patience. It’s almost time for me to drop the bomb on him.

  ‘You have to understand, I don’t want to be like my dad.’ He swallows and stares at the ground before he continues. ‘He left when I was seven because my mum had an affair. He tried to win custody of me, but the law is so bent in the mother’s favour, even though she’s a heartless tart, he had no chance. I never saw him again and I’ve never forgiven her.’

  ‘I’m really sorry that happened to you.’

  ‘That’s why I tried to encourage you to find your dad if he’s still alive, no matter what story your mother spins. Whatever happened between them, he has the right to be in your life and you have the right to know him, have a relationship with him. It’s not up to her.’ He offers his hand to me, but I bat it away. ‘He could be out there looking for you right now.’ I don’t want to talk about my dad.

  ‘You said you wanted to marry me, and I believed you.’ My voice is louder. I hope Amy captures it all. ‘I gave myself to you believing this was the real thing.’

  ‘I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have let you think that. I genuinely thought at one point that my wife and I were over for good. You know we were separated when you and I got together, right? But when she told me she was pregnant and wanted to come back, I had to think again, give her one more chance.’

  ‘You never said why she left you.’ I search his eyes, but he looks away.

  ‘We just weren’t getting on. The pressure of both working long hours was too much. It happens to lots of couples.’

  ‘But you don’t have to stay with her. You’ll still be able to see your child.’

  ‘There’s no alternative. I’m not going to take that risk. I cannot deal with only seeing my child every other weekend, if I’m lucky. And what if she met someone new? He’d see more of my kid than I would. I can’t let that happen.’ He shakes his head.

  ‘How do you know it’s definitely yours?’

  ‘What?’ His whole demeanour changes in a split second. His body straightens and he moves away from me. I may as well be holding a knife to him.

  ‘You know for sure, do you, if she really was away all that time?’ I cross my arms. ‘Know where she went, do you?’

  ‘That’s not a very nice insinuation, Scarlett. My wife would never ever be unfaithful to me.’

  Yet he betrayed her in a heartbeat. Does that mean he thinks of me in the same way he does his mother, a cheap tart?

  ‘When you’ve calmed down, I think you’ll understand why I can’t abandon them. How cruel that would be.’ He’s gone into his teacher voice again. I’ve really pissed him off this time.

  ‘When I’ve calmed down?’ I shake my head. ‘So, where does that leave me?’

  ‘What do you mean?’ He wipes sweat off his brow with the back of his hand.

  ‘You can’t walk away from me, not now.’

  ‘Why not?’

  He genuinely thinks this is it, all over, he can tidy me away and get back to his real life, like we never happened. I tut and turn my face up to gaze at him. He’s not so gorgeous when he’s being an arse. I make him wait and wonder for a few uncomfortable seconds. Then I hit him with it.

  ‘Because I’m having your baby too.’

  Chapter Forty-Five

  30 July 2018

  Scarlett

  His face seems to move in slow motion – his eyes widen, mouth drops, his mind probably a muddle as to what to say to me. His eyelashes flutter and for a second I think he’s going to pass out.

  ‘You can’t be?’ he says at last, dragging his hand down his face, distorting his features.

  ‘Well, I am.’ How I’m enjoying this moment of victory.

  ‘You told me you were on the pill,’ he whispers.

  ‘Is that what I should tell my mum you said?’

  ‘Have you told her?’

  The look on his face – as if I’m squeezing his balls with pliers.

  ‘Not yet, but I’ll have to at some point, won’t I?’

  ‘Are you absolutely a hundred per cent sure it’s mine, I mean, if there’s even remotely the chance it could be someone else’s…’

  I almost choke on my own tongue. ‘You think I’m a slut, don’t you? There’s been no one except you.’ So that’s it, he thinks the mouse is purer than pure, because she’d never be unfaithful to him.

  ‘Okay, I’m sorry, I had to ask.’ He blinks at me, his eyes screwed up small like he’s not sure who I am any more. ‘How… how far gone?’

  ‘About ten weeks.’

  He presses his fingers to his eyes and a few moments later they open again. ‘You’ll have a termination, though, won’t you?’

  ‘Hang on, what about what I want?’ I
hold my hand up. He doesn’t want me to mess up his little family.

  ‘What about your future? I thought you were saving up to do a journalism course?’

  ‘This is a human being we’re talking about here.’ I point to my stomach. Even I’m convinced I’m pregnant now. I flick my hair over my shoulder. He should be saying he’s over the moon and that of course he’ll leave the mouse and be with me. But he shakes his head, stares at his trainers. ‘I’ll give you money. Whatever it takes. You’re such a talented girl, I don’t want you to ruin your life.’

  Jesus, he’s really trying to wriggle out of it. ‘I’m just a girl now, am I? Is that how you see me? Why would having our baby be ruining my life? You’re only thinking about yourself. What if I want this baby?’

  ‘No, of course you’re not a girl. You’re a sexy young woman. But please don’t do this.’ He walks round in a circle, hand to his head. ‘You can’t have this baby. You just can’t.’

  ‘Then leave her and we can be together.’

  ‘How can I when she’s about to give birth? Look, give me a few weeks. Once the baby’s born I’ll be able to think more clearly. I’ll be ready to make a decision, I promise.’ He covers his forehead with his palm.

  ‘Do you really mean it?’

  ‘Yes, of course I do. But I can’t promise anything, okay?’

  ‘Okay.’ He thinks I’m stupid.

  ‘You know you’re my special girl, don’t you?’ He takes my hand and rubs my skin with his thumb like that first time he touched me in his classroom.

  ‘In the meantime, what am I supposed to do?’

  ‘Look after yourself. Do you feel well? Are you being sick?’

  ‘Not yet.’

  ‘Please don’t tell your mum. I mean, there’s no need yet, is there? We can work this out between us.’

  ‘All right. But you better answer my messages straight away. Don’t ignore me or I’ll come and knock on your front door and tell her everything.’