The Face At the Window

by Ruby Speechley

  Mum makes us a mango and banana smoothie. She’s just heard from the police who’ve told her they traced the threatening emails Cole was claiming to be getting from me and Amy. They confirmed they were from Cole’s teenage son. He had a baby with a woman seventeen years ago. He was knocking her about too, but she managed to run away with their baby. The boy was getting his revenge on his dad for what he did to them. Cole had such a skewed view of fathers not having rights to see their children. Sometimes there’s a good reason.

  Amy and I sit in the garden sipping our drinks in silence. The weather is nowhere near as hot as it was. I suppose summer is almost over. A torn red piece of piñata raffia flutters in the rose bush. I tell her everything Mum told me about my parents and that we’re moving to America in case Dad finds us when he’s released. I hold Amy’s hand and we both cry.

  Mum lets me take Amy upstairs to see the contents of the box we couldn’t get into. I lift open the lid. There’s his face again. I pick the photo up and stare at it for ages. I wonder if he was like Cole; charming, complimentary, persuasive, authoritative and clever with words. It’s a grainy picture but it’s clear how handsome he was then. How easy it must have been for Jess to fall in love with him.

  Chapter Eighty-Two

  Two Weeks Later

  Scarlett

  I meet Gemma for coffee at her restaurant. She’s surprisingly welcoming considering what I did.

  ‘Come and sit down,’ she says, leading the way to a table near the coffee maker.

  ‘I’m really grateful you didn’t press charges, Gemma.’ I look her in the eye then hang my head in shame. ‘I’m sorry for what I did. I really wish I’d known how he was treating you. All the signs were there but I didn’t quite join the dots.’

  ‘You saved me, Scarlett, and I’m so grateful.’ She blinks, getting teary and I do too, thinking about what he did to her, seeing him turn into an animal. I think about my mum, going through something like this too.

  ‘I never thought to tell anyone about him when I was at school,’ I say. ‘I didn’t imagine he’d go on to do what he did.’

  ‘How were we to know what was going on in that sick head of his? You should count yourself lucky you got away.’ She brings over two cappuccinos.

  I wish my mum had got away. I wish she’d stayed with Dan. What a good life they’d have had. Maybe living here or in America. But I’d never have been born.

  ‘Your job’s still here if you want it.’

  ‘Thanks, but we’re moving away, starting afresh.’

  ‘Somewhere nice?’

  ‘America.’

  ‘That’s a big move. Good luck. Would be good to keep in touch.’

  ‘Yeah, I’d like that.’

  * * *

  Later, I pack my last few things and vacuum my bedroom. It looks strange, empty. We’ve had some good times here. Most of our stuff is in storage. We’ll get it shipped out later, but for now we’re only taking essentials.

  It’s been hard deciding to go with Mum and Dan to New York, but Amy persuaded me it was an opportunity I couldn’t pass up. If I really hate it, I’m coming back. That’s our agreement.

  ‘Dan says he’ll be here in about ten minutes, Scarlett. Are you ready?’ Mum calls up the stairs.

  ‘Yes, all packed.’

  ‘I’d better go.’ Amy hugs me one last time. ‘You promise to FaceTime me every day, okay?’

  ‘I promise. And you have to come and visit.’

  ‘I will. I’ve started saving up already. Mum’s keen too.’ She picks up a rucksack of my old things I’ve given her. She’s going to ebay them and make a bit of cash.

  I follow her downstairs. She waves to Mum who’s still on the phone to Dan. I see her out. Neither of us wants to prolong the agony with a long goodbye.

  As I’m turning to go back upstairs, there’s a knock on the front door. Amy must have forgotten something. I open it and a tall man with dark blonde and grey hair is standing there grinning at me. He looks familiar.

  ‘Hello?’ I wonder what’s so amusing to him.

  ‘Hello, Scarlett.’

  ‘Do I know you?’ I tilt my head.

  ‘I don’t think so, but I’d like to get to know you,’ he says, putting his foot up on the step, ‘because I’m your dad.’

  Chapter Eighty-Three

  Scarlett

  ‘Go away, I don’t want to see you,’ I scream and try to shut the door, but his shoe is in the way.

  ‘Who’s that?’ Mum rushes out of the kitchen, phone in her hand. ‘What the hell? Hurry, Lewis is here.’ She shouts down the phone.

  ‘How are you, Kelly?’ Dad pushes the door wide, steps into the house and shuts it quietly behind him.

  ‘I’m calling the police, do you hear me?’ Mum shouts, her hands shaking.

  ‘I wouldn’t do that if I were you.’ He strides towards her and takes her phone clean out of her hand.

  ‘You can’t barge in here,’ she says, ‘give that back.’

  I run ahead of him and stand in front of Mum, arms out, blocking him so he can’t get to her.

  ‘Scarlett, stop that. Get behind me.’ Mum tries to pull me out of her way.

  ‘I’ve come to see my daughter, no law against that, is there?’ He stops and smiles down at us.

  ‘She doesn’t want to see you, didn’t you hear her?’ Mum backs up, stumbles into the kitchen.

  ‘I thought you were in prison?’ I stand by Mum, glancing at the back door, trying to work out if it’s locked.

  ‘Got out a month ago.’

  ‘Did you know this, Mum?’ The key is in the door, so it’s probably unlocked.

  Mum glares at him with such hatred, then she slowly nods.

  ‘Why didn’t you tell me?’ He must have been watching the news, finding out all sorts about me including what school I went to, where we live, where I work.

  ‘I didn’t want you to be scared. I tried to get us away before he found us, I’m sorry.’ She clasps my hand in hers.

  ‘I’m a changed man, Scarlett.’ He holds his palms up.

  ‘But you killed my mother.’ I look at him disgusted and pull away from Mum as he comes towards me. I feel my back press into the counter. My pulse is thundering in my temples. There’s nowhere else for me to go.

  He shakes his head. ‘No, I didn’t.’

  ‘What?’ I look at Mum, frowning. ‘Why would he say that?’

  ‘He’s lying, Scarlett. He was found guilty.’ Mum reaches out to me but he’s in the way. I’m cornered.

  ‘Doesn’t mean I did it. You know that. Remember the Birmingham Six, Kelly? All innocent men. Banged up for life. All false convictions. Happens all the time.’

  ‘So if you didn’t do it, then who did?’

  He is silent as though waiting for something.

  The back gate rattles open. Lewis steps past Mum and opens the back door.

  ‘Right on cue. Hello, Danny boy. Still sneaking in through people’s back doors, are we?’ Dad eases a length of lead pipe out of Dan’s fists and thuds the heel of his hand into his chest. Dan falls backwards, down the two steps.

  ‘Still trying to play with the big boys, aren’t you?’ Lewis kicks Dan’s heels.

  ‘What are you doing?’ Mum screams and pulls at Dad’s jacket but he gently swots her away.

  ‘And you should tighten up the security on your phone. I can read and hear all your calls.’ He twiddles her phone around in his fingers and chucks it back to her.

  ‘Tell them what you did, Danny boy.’ Lewis leans on the kitchen counter.

  Dan rubs the back of his head, looking bewildered.

  ‘I’ll tell them for you then, shall I? The night Jess was going to leave me, Dan here tried to be the big hero. He let himself in through the back door into our kitchen where Jess was getting ready to leave. Except he wasn’t supposed to be there, it wasn’t part of the plan, was it, Kelly?’

  Mum’s eyes are wide. She shakes her head.

  ‘You see, Kelly made the mi
stake of telling Dan her plan to get Jess to walk out on me – leave the back door open and sneak out in the middle of the night.’

  Mum frowns at Dan, but neither of them says a word.

  ‘Trouble is, while he was there, he thought he’d have a go at getting rid of me by stabbing me. So guess what? He took a big carving knife out of the block on the counter but Jess tried to stop him going upstairs to find me, and he dodged out her way. Except that made her lunge towards him to try and take the knife off him, but the fucking idiot was holding it out and stabbed her to death.’

  ‘You’re lying,’ Mum screams.

  ‘He dropped the knife, ran out the back door and left me to find her. I came down to see what all the noise was about and found her on the kitchen floor. I knelt over her but I couldn’t find a pulse, she was already dead. I was covered in her blood when I went out the front to shout for help.’

  ‘You killed her, you did it.’ Mum points at Dad. ‘Tell him he’s wrong, Danny.’

  Dan doesn’t move or speak.

  ‘Why do you think he snuck off to America? And he’s been sending you money for Scarlett every year, hasn’t he? Guilt money.’

  ‘Dan, tell me he’s lying.’ Mum kneels next to him, pleading with him. I hold her arm trying to calm her down.

  Dan shakes his head, eyes to the ground.

  ‘What? Don’t let him do this?’ Mum stands up.

  ‘Don’t let me do what, Kelly? Isn’t it enough that I’ve spent the last twenty years at Her Majesty’s pleasure for something I didn’t do?’

  ‘It doesn’t mean you weren’t guilty of hurting Jess, intimidating her, making her life hell. Dan was trying to protect her from you.’

  Dad turns to me, hands out. ‘I’ve been on a DVPP rehabilitation programme. I know I treated your mum badly and it was wrong. But I did not kill her.’

  ‘Is it true, Dan? Did you kill my mother?’

  ‘I didn’t mean to – it was an accident. Just like he said.’

  ‘How does he know all this?’ Mum crosses her arms, still determined to prove this is all a lie.

  ‘I went to see Lewis in prison.’ Dan finally pushes himself off the ground.

  ‘You what?’ Mum’s face creases in disgust.

  ‘You have to understand, the guilt was eating me away. I couldn’t live with myself. Jess was in contact with so few people, I knew he’d work out that, apart from you, I was the only person who could have been there that night.’

  ‘I can’t believe I’m hearing this.’

  ‘We talked and came to a deal,’ Dan says.

  ‘What sort of deal?’

  ‘I make sure Scarlett is financially secure for the rest of her life and he doesn’t tell the police it was me.’ Dan stands up.

  ‘There’s no point another man doing time for this. He’s suffered too. He killed the woman he loved,’ Dad says.

  ‘Did you love her?’ I ask.

  Dad turns to me. ‘I did, but I didn’t know how to love her. She was frightened of me. I hate that, but I was so insecure and scared of her leaving me. The only way I knew of keeping her with me was by controlling her. I understand that now. I have changed, Scarlett. I promise you. I’m working with the prison service as a counsellor, helping men learn to control their anger, recognize where that deep-rooted insecurity comes from that makes them want to control women.’

  ‘So come on then, prove it,’ Mum says.

  ‘Erm, how about the simple fact that Danny boy is still breathing? And after everything I’ve been through, do you think I’d give up the chance of spending time with my daughter? If she wants to, of course.’

  Mum doesn’t have an answer for once. And I don’t know what to say either. My head is spinning. I have my dad at last, but he’s hardly how I imagined him to be. There’s so much I need to get my head around. All three men have left my life in a complete mess. At least Gemma can enjoy being a mum to Thomas now, without fear and threats. I only wish Jess had been as fortunate.

  I reach for Mum’s hand and she smiles at me. Whatever happens next, I’m lucky to have her.

  A letter from Ruby

  Dear Reader,

  Thank you for reading my fourth novel, The Face at the Window. I hope you enjoyed it! If you did, I’d be grateful if you could leave a quick review on Amazon, Kobo or Goodreads.

  This novel was difficult to write for many reasons but mainly because of the subject matter. I’ve not been in an abusive relationship myself, but I’ve had a taste of it from a ‘wrong’ boyfriend and have known women who have been victims. When I was a teenager, I worked with a girl who showed me bruises on her legs and told me how her boyfriend held her face down in a sink of water. I think I asked her why she didn’t leave him. I didn’t understand why she stayed. I didn’t understand that perhaps she was too scared to leave. Maybe we’re all guilty of doing nothing, or not doing enough, but I’ve never forgotten my mistake.

  In The Face at the Window, I wanted to explore the aftermath of domestic abuse in one family and the escalating abuse in another. One situation mirroring the next. How the nature of coercive control means the victim may not be strong enough to walk away because the perpetrator has worn down their confidence, taken over their finances, locked them in. Although there is a twist at the end of my novel, I wanted to show how my characters Lewis and Nick, were both capable of extreme violence.

  I’ve watched several programmes on domestic abuse over the last few years and closely followed the case of Sally Challen, who was convicted of murdering her abusive husband in 2010. Maybe not so well known is the case of Natalie Queiroz. I came across Natalie’s story quite by chance online. I felt I needed to understand from a first-person account how such a violent act could come about. Natalie bravely and eloquently tells her story in her book, Still Standing. Fortunately, Natalie and her child survived.

  Women’s Aid reports that the Covid-19 pandemic escalated abuse and closed down routes to safety for women to escape. Child survivors have not had the respite of school or nursery. A few celebrities have shared their personal stories of surviving domestic abuse, including singers Mel B and Brenda Edwards. Talking about their experiences helps to bring this difficult subject into our conversations.

  When I was growing up, domestic violence wasn’t talked about at all. The police wouldn’t interfere in a ‘domestic’. Perhaps my ignorance and naivete are the reasons why I didn’t know how to help the girl I worked with. I believe the more we talk about it, the more we can help those in need before they become another tragic statistic.

  Warmest wishes,

  Ruby x

  Website/blog: rubyspeechley.com

  Twitter: @rubyspeechley

  Facebook: Ruby Speechley Author

  Instagram: @rubyjtspeechley

  Domestic Abuse Helplines and websites:

  If you are in immediate danger call 999. If you cannot talk, dial 55 and the operator will respond.

  National Domestic Violence Helpline: 0808 2000 247, open 24-hours a day, free and in confidence.

  Nationaldahelpline.org.uk

  Refuge.org.uk

  Womensaid.org.uk

  helpline@womensaid.org.uk

  Men’s advice helpline: 0808 8010327

  Mensadviceline.org.uk

  Acknowledgements

  I wrote the messy zero draft of this novel via NaNoWriMo.org (write a novel in a month). It has changed a lot since then, but this writing tool helped me to get the words down quickly from my ideas and notes.

  I would like to thank my husband and children for giving me the time and space to write during the national lockdown and a house move.

  Thank you to all my friends and writers on social media and in real life for keeping me sane while working through such trying circumstances. I am incredibly grateful to be able to continue doing the job I love.

  Once again, sincere thanks to my brilliant agent, Jo Bell for her expert advice and guidance, and to all the team at Bell Lomax Moreton for their support and enthusi
asm.

  Special thanks to my talented publishers at Hera Books, Keshini and Lindsey, for bringing this fourth novel to readers. Their dedication to their authors and to readers is so impressive. Thank you again to Keshini for being the best editor I could wish for.

  Thank you to the many resources online including Refuge.org.uk, and to Graham Bartlett for his advice on crime and police matters in this story.

  I’ve taken the liberty of merging Sainsbury’s at Kempston with Bedford’s main shopping centre. Any other changes or errors are entirely my own.

  DVPP – Domestic Violence Perpetrator Programme is run by Cafcass.gov.uk “It aims to help people who have been abusive towards their partners and ex-partners to change their behaviour and develop respectful and non-abusive relationships.”

  Finally, thank you to all those working tirelessly every day to help and support victims and their families of domestic abuse.

  First published in the United Kingdom in 2021 by Hera

  Hera Books

  28b Cricketfield Road

  London, E5 8NS

  United Kingdom

  Copyright © Ruby Speechley, 2021

  The moral right of Ruby Speechley to be identified as the creator of this work has been asserted in accordance with the Copyright, Designs and Patents Act, 1988.

  All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopy, recording, or any information storage and retrieval system, without permission in writing from the publisher.

  A CIP catalogue record for this book is available from the British Library.

  ISBN 9781912973712

  This book is a work of fiction. Names, characters, businesses, organizations, places and events are either the product of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, events or locales is entirely coincidental.