Not Until Us (Hope Springs Book 4)

by Valerie M. Bodden

  He frowned, studying her. “Everything okay?”

  “Yep.” She strode ahead of him toward the door. “Let’s go.”

  Chapter 27

  The evening still felt warm, but apparently a cold front had gone through Jade. They’d been walking down the beach together for twenty minutes, but every time Dan came within two feet of her, she moved away.

  Pretty soon, she’d be walking knee-deep in the water to avoid him. Already her feet had to be soaking from the waves that pounded the sand.

  He’d asked a few times if everything was okay, and every time she’d answered with a short “Yep” and kept walking in silence. He was trying to give her the space she needed to deal with whatever it was that had changed between the time she’d left their table at dinner and the time they’d walked out the door of the Hidden Cafe, but that would be a lot easier to do if she showed some small sign that she was still remotely interested in being here with him.

  He slowed, then stopped walking, watching the flecks of light spark off her hair as she kept going.

  She made it another fifty yards before she seemed to realize he was no longer next to her.

  She whirled around and raised her arms out to her sides. “What’s wrong?” He could tell she was yelling, but he could barely hear the words over the constant refrain of the waves.

  “You tell me,” he called back.

  She watched him, her hands still raised, and he wondered if she’d heard him. Then she dropped her arms and spun back around, walking farther away from him.

  He huffed out a breath. Why was she making this so difficult?

  He bent over and dropped his hands to his knees, considering. Maybe he should give up on this whole thing.

  But half a minute later, he sprang up and sprinted down the beach after her. He knew how he felt about her, and that wasn’t going to change because she spent one evening pushing him away.

  In less than a minute, he’d closed the space between them. Although his instinct was to grab her and demand to know what was wrong, he was careful to give her the two feet of space she seemed to need.

  “So in case you didn’t realize, I’m not terribly experienced at this dating thing.” He stuck his hands in his pockets. She had to know that already, but it was still embarrassing to admit.

  Jade appeared to be fighting a smile, as the edges of her lips curved the slightest fraction. He chose to take it as a positive sign.

  “So if I did something wrong at dinner—if I used the wrong fork or sneezed too loudly or didn’t tell you enough times how beautiful you are—you have to tell me so I can fix it.”

  Jade completely lost the battle with her smile now, but it wasn’t the open, easy smile she’d worn at dinner. This smile was laced with sadness.

  “There was only one fork,” she said, her voice subdued.

  “And I don’t think I sneezed at all, so that leaves not telling you how beautiful you look enough times. Which is a huge mistake, and I’m so sorry for it. Because you do. Look beautiful.”

  He risked taking a step closer to her. Miraculously, she didn’t move away.

  “Dan.” The way she said his name like that, like it was goodbye, made his stomach drop.

  “What is it, Jade? Why aren’t you willing to give us a chance?”

  Jade’s mouth twisted. “There is no us.”

  But he wasn’t going to give up that easily. Not this time. “I’d like there to be.”

  He took another step closer and reached for her hand. He knew she’d felt the connection between them at dinner. They needed to get back to that.

  But she yanked her hand out of his. “Don’t you understand?” Her eyes were wild and filled with a pain he couldn’t comprehend but wanted desperately to erase.

  “No, I don’t,” he said honestly. “I thought things were going well. I thought, when we held hands―” He looked away. How big of a fool had he been? “I thought there was something between us. I thought you felt it too.”

  “You know who else felt it?” Jade’s words were caustic, and he couldn’t help but look at her.

  What on earth was she talking about? As far as he knew, it had only been the two of them.

  “All of Hope Springs, that’s who.” Jade spun away from him and walked toward the water.

  He watched her back for a moment. Her bare shoulders heaved, as if she were trying to catch her breath.

  “What do you mean?” He finally let himself walk to her side. An icy wave washed over his feet, soaking the cuffs of his pants.

  “Everyone up there saw us holding hands.” Jade sounded completely defeated.

  “And that’s a problem?” He’d understood her desire to keep their relationship secret in high school. After all, she was the cool girl and he was the nerdy preacher’s son. But he’d figured they were old enough to be beyond that now.

  “Of course that’s a problem.” Jade fired the words at him.

  “Because you’re embarrassed to be seen with me?”

  “What?” Jade turned sharply toward him. “Why would I be embarrassed to be seen with you?”

  He shrugged. “You never wanted to be together in public in high school, so―”

  “Because I didn’t want my so-called friends to make problems for you. I was afraid they’d scare you off.”

  Dan opened his mouth to speak, but all that came out was a long breath. All these years he’d been under the impression that she’d been ashamed of liking him and somehow that had been the reason she’d left. But she’d wanted to protect him?

  A new tenderness for her filled him. “What is it then? Why don’t you want people to see us holding hands?”

  “Because of me, Dan.” She met his eyes, letting him see everything she was thinking for the first time maybe ever.

  She looked tormented. “I’m not the kind of woman you should be holding hands with.”

  He almost laughed, the statement was so ridiculous. But the look on her face stopped him.

  “Why not? It just so happens that you have the perfect hands for holding.” He moved closer and slowly reached for her hand, giving her time to pull away if she wanted to.

  This time, she let him wrap his hand around hers, and he smiled as the warmth of his skin transferred to her cold fingers. “See?”

  She didn’t smile back. “You know my reputation, Dan. You pretend not to, but you do.”

  He squeezed her hand tighter. “I don’t see what that has to do with holding hands.”

  She shook her head. “Don’t play dumb. If people see us holding hands, they’ll start talking.”

  Dan laughed. Was that what she was worried about? “I think people have more interesting things to talk about than who I hold hands with.”

  “Tell that to the women in the restroom.” Jade withdrew her hand from his, crossing her arms in front of her.

  “The women?” In the restroom? Is that what had transformed her from open, lighthearted Jade into sullen, closed-off Jade? “Who?”

  Jade shrugged. “I don’t know their names. They’re from church, I think. It doesn’t matter.”

  “And they said something to you?” It was probably just a misunderstanding she’d blown out of proportion.

  “They didn’t know I was in there. They were talking about you and me. Holding hands.” She gave him a grim look.

  “So what? It doesn’t matter if they were talking about us holding hands. I don’t care who knows. In fact, I think it’s great people know. I’ll tell everyone myself.” He cupped his hands around his mouth and yelled to the waves. “I held hands with Jade Falter. And I want to do it again.”

  He grinned at her. “There. Now everyone knows.”

  “Stop, Dan.” Jade’s eyes flashed. “They weren’t just talking about us holding hands. They implied that you were with me because of my reputation. Because you wanted to do more than hold hands. A lot more.” Even in the quickly fading light, he could see the red rise to her cheeks.

  His chest tightened. What
right did anyone have to make assumptions like that about Jade?

  “I’m so sorry.” He stepped in front of her so that she had no choice but to look at him. “They never should have— The thing about the church is that it’s made up of sinners. Me included. But―”

  Jade stopped him with a glare. “I don’t care what they said about me, Dan. I’m used to it. But don’t you get that if people see us together, my reputation is going to rub off on you? That’s why we can’t hold hands. Why we can’t be together.” Her delicate throat rippled as she swallowed, and he wanted nothing more than to wrap her in his arms and make all the pain of the encounter go away.

  “You’ve changed, Jade. You’re not the girl you were in high school. We’ll just have to make sure everyone sees that. They already know you volunteered at camp, and soon they’ll see you volunteering at VBS. They’ll realize you’re the perfect girl for a pastor in no time.”

  Jade lifted her head, her eyes wide enough to reflect the full moon that was rising. “And if they don’t?”

  “If they don’t, I don’t care. I don’t care what they think.”

  Jade gave a disbelieving laugh. “Yes, you do. It’s why you were so worried about how camp went and why you couldn’t talk to the parents afterward.”

  Dan almost flat out denied it, but he stopped himself. She was right.

  “I don’t care what they think about this, Jade. About us.”

  “I don’t know.” She chewed her lip, and suddenly her lips were the only thing he could focus on. He lifted his hands to her face.

  “Do you remember the first time we kissed?” he murmured.

  She nodded, her eyes softening. “It was perfect.”

  Dan’s thumb slid back and forth on her cheek. “Not true. I had no idea what I was doing, and I’m sure you could tell.”

  Jade’s laugh was low and throaty. “Maybe it wasn’t the most technically perfect, but it was still perfect.”

  Her eyes fell closed, and Dan leaned forward. It had been eight years since that kiss. But in this moment, it felt as if no time had gone by at all.

  “Dan.” Jade whispered his name.

  The last thing Dan saw before he closed his own eyes was the smile playing on her lips.

  And he could feel that smile when his lips at last met hers.

  All the magic of that first kiss eight years ago was still there—with none of the awkwardness. Jade’s hands slid from his shoulders to wrap around his neck, and she pulled him closer. He let his hands travel to her hair, deepening the kiss.

  Jade sighed softly against his lips, then pulled back. He pulled her into a tight hug.

  “I hope that was better than last time,” he said into her hair.

  She tightened her arms around him. “Your technical performance has definitely improved. But it was still perfect.”

  They stood like that for a few minutes, until Jade tried to disentangle herself. But Dan wasn’t ready to let her go.

  She shook her head but leaned into him again. “Maybe it’d be best if people didn’t see us doing that,” she whispered.

  He turned to look up and down the beach. “I don’t see anyone here.”

  He dropped his head for another kiss.

  Chapter 28

  Jade twirled her way across the tiny living room of Vi’s apartment as she waited for Keira to answer her phone. She must look like an absolute lunatic right now, but she didn’t care. She had to do something with all this extra joy building inside her.

  “About time you called.” Keira’s cheerful voice belied her gruff words. “I was starting to worry Hope Springs had finally done you in.”

  “Nope.” Jade lifted a mini replica of the Old Lighthouse off Vi’s shelf. Maybe she and Dan could go there sometime soon. “Everything’s good here.”

  “What do you mean everything’s good there?” Keira’s disbelief sounded through the phone. “Last time we talked, you were ready to hop a plane back to LA.”

  “Let’s just say things are better now.” Jade set the lighthouse down and moved to look out the window at the lake. And the beach. The beach where she and Dan had walked every night for the past week and a half. Where they’d kissed every night for the past week and a half.

  “What do you mean things are better? Did you fall in love with working in your sister’s antique shop or— Oooh.” Keira gasped. “Or did you fall in love? You met a wholesome Hope Springs guy, didn’t you?” She squealed, making a sound Jade had only ever heard from three-year-olds.

  “Nope.” Jade dragged out her answer. The suspense would kill her roommate, but she couldn’t resist. “I didn’t meet him. I already knew him. We sort of, almost, dated, I guess, a long time ago.”

  “You almost dated? What does that mean?”

  “It’s a long story. But the point is, he’s still in Hope Springs and so am I for the moment and―”

  “Oh my goodness, it’s a second chance romance.” Keira’s shriek was so loud that Jade pulled the phone away from her ear. “I love those.”

  Jade chuckled. “Slow down, Keira. I―”

  But once Keira got going, nothing could stop her. “I’ll come for your wedding. Wouldn’t miss it. Wait— Does that mean you’re not coming back to LA?”

  “That was the exact opposite of slowing down. No one’s getting married.” But she had to admit that the same questions had been going through her head. And she wasn’t sure she had the answers yet.

  “You’re going to stay there, aren’t you?” The excitement had partially faded from Keira’s voice. “I’m going to miss you.”

  “I haven’t decided anything yet, Keira. At this point, I’m still planning to come back to LA.”

  “But you’re considering staying? For this guy?”

  “Yes. No. I mean―” Jade forced herself to slow down and explain. “I am considering staying. But not for the guy.”

  Keira snorted.

  “Well, not just for the guy,” Jade amended. “My sister’s here too, and she has this great group of friends who have welcomed me, and I don’t know. . . . It’s kind of starting to feel like home here.”

  “I’m happy for you, Jade.” Keira sounded sincere. “I’ve never heard you call anywhere home. So this is pretty huge.

  “Not huge.” Jade didn’t want to overplay it. “And nothing’s decided yet.”

  But in her heart, she knew—it was huge.

  “Ready for this?” Dan’s smile as he met her at Vi’s car the next morning sent the same pool of warmth surging through her stomach as always. Even after a week of spending every spare moment together, she still hadn’t gotten used to that feeling.

  He picked up the oversize beach bag she’d packed and leaned down to drop a kiss on the top of her head. Jade squirmed even as she acknowledged the flip in her heart. She still felt slightly uncomfortable about letting others see them together. But Dan’s naturalness about the whole thing eased her worry a little.

  She caught Vi’s grin as she and Nate also emerged from the car.

  “Good morning, Dan,” Vi called.

  “Hmm?” Dan lifted his head. “Oh, morning.”

  “So are you?” Dan took Jade’s hand and drew her toward the ferry landing. “Ready for this?”

  This time it was Jade’s stomach that flipped. “Have I mentioned I’m not the biggest fan of boats?” Just the thought of getting on the ferry that was supposed to take them to Strawberry Island had left her feeling queasy all morning.

  “I know.” He leaned over to kiss her head again as they walked. “But I promise not to leave your side.”

  The tenderness in his eyes unwound something that had been coiled tight in Jade’s gut. “Then let’s do it.”

  Dan wrapped an arm around her and held her against his side as they came to the pier where the rest of their friends had already gathered. Most of them already knew about Dan and Jade’s developing relationship—a word she had to admit she liked the sound of—and they greeted them with smiles.

  “You
two are so adorable together,” Sophie called when they were close enough.

  “We know.” Dan squeezed her close, and she swatted at him, but she couldn’t deny that the fact that he wanted everyone to know about them meant everything to her.

  The only one who didn’t seem to approve was Leah, who was busy rummaging in her bag, though Jade doubted she was searching for anything in particular. She couldn’t blame Dan’s sister for being less than thrilled with her baby brother’s choice of women, especially since she’d been trying so hard to set Dan up with Grace.

  Thankfully, Dan had been right when he’d said Grace had taken things well. She’d taken it so well that if it weren’t for the fact that Jade knew Grace was the most sincere person alive, she’d think it was all an act.

  But when Grace’s eyes fell on them now, she immediately grabbed her phone. “Y’all need a picture of this.” She snapped the photo, then swiped at her phone for a few seconds. “There.”

  Both Dan’s and Jade’s phones dinged with a notification, and they pulled them out at the same time.

  “That’s a great picture. Thanks,” Dan said to Grace.

  Jade could only stare at the image on her screen. She was looking at the camera, smiling a smile she didn’t recognize—one that made her appear completely comfortable and at home.

  But Dan wasn’t looking at the camera. His eyes were on her, and the look in them made Jade’s breath hitch.

  She’d seen that look before. That was the way Nate looked at Vi, the way Spencer looked at Sophie, Ethan looked at Ariana, and Jared at Peyton. It was a look that said the words neither of them had spoken yet.

  It was a look that said he loved her.

  “Don’t you like it?” Dan asked quietly enough that only she could hear.

  “I love it.” She blinked and turned her phone off, tucking it into her pocket.

  “Me too.” Dan tugged her forward. “Come on, we don’t want to miss the boat.”

  They followed the others, who were already crossing the narrow walkway onto the ferry.