by Nicole Thorn
I focused on the glass sitting on the floor a few feet away.
“Just think about what you want it to do,” she told me. “Then it’ll happen. That’s how most of this works. You picture something, and it happens.”
How could she be so okay with this? Three lives, three lives lost for the sake of one who didn’t want this to begin with.
I felt rage bubbling up at… everything. That I died in the first place, that my friends didn’t know how to let me go, that my parents didn’t want any part of me with them, that the first time I’d felt something since I died was relief that I would die again, only to have my friends steal that peace from me again.
The glass exploded, and the shards went flying. Elisa held her hand up and they froze in the air. A few small pieces hovered terrifyingly close to my eye and a couple already hit my skin.
“Sorry,” I said through shallow breaths.
“It’s okay,” Elisa said as the glass moved away from us and into the trashcan by the door. “It takes a while to get the hang of it.”
Again, I didn’t care much. Even back when I had been alive, the idea of having the kind of power that Elisa promised frightened me.
“Are you still upset with us?” she finally asked.
“Yes,” I answered honestly. “Who were they?” I wouldn’t look at her. My eyes focused on a spot on the wall.
She sighed. “No one important. Not like you are.”
I turned to meet her eyes. “Who are you to decide that?”
“I’m one of your best friends. I couldn’t just leave you dead,” her voice sounded soft, but her eyes didn’t match. They looked desperate and angry. “I don’t regret what I did.”
“But you didn’t do it right.” I stood up and closed my eyes, trying to remember what it felt like to have a beating heart. To feel something in my head and heart and soul. To have life mean something.
“I’m sorry that you’re—”
I opened my eyes. “Dead?”
Her fists clenched at her sides. “You are not dead.”
“I sure as Hell ain’t alive.” I felt like half of me remained in that coffin. Rotting like I should’ve been.
“You are, and we’re gonna keep you that way. Even if that dick comes after you again.” Elisa crossed her arms.
Ah yes. My almost-hero/murderer. When I felt that knife at my side, I had been so desperate for him to push it in. I wanted to feel peace again.
I should have been terrified, but I wasn’t. Oddly enough, right after I got home and my friends undid that stupid invisibility spell, my first thought had been it figures that he was only talking to me because he wanted to kill me.
The opportunity had gone now. As much as I wanted him to kill me in that moment, I couldn’t let him anymore. Not when I knew that people died so I could live. I couldn’t die again, making their sacrifices for nothing.
“Great,” I said through a sigh.
“Come on.” Elisa took my hand and brought me downstairs when we heard Poppy and Oswald come back.
When we reached the bottom of the stairs, Poppy pulled a cake out of a pink box. The cake had white frosting with green, blue, purple, and pink roses on the top.
Oswald held a gaggle of balloons.
“Happy birthday.” Elisa hugged me and pulled me to the counter.
I blinked. “What?”
“Yeah.” Oswald put his hand on my back. “December twentieth. Look.” He held his phone up, and I saw the date in his calendar.
“Oh,” I said. What did a birthday mean to a dead girl? Not much.
Still, they forced me to blow out nineteen candles and sit through the birthday song. I almost burnt the house down when Poppy put a paper hat on my head.
“What did you wish for?” she asked.
To feel alive.
“Nothing,” I lied. Three frowns faced me, but I ignored them. They couldn’t be mad at me. They didn’t have the right. They were killers. They took it upon themselves to make a choice for me that proved they didn’t know me like I thought they did.
Poppy cut the cake and gave me a corner piece—just like I always preferred. The cake tasted good, but I didn’t feel like I could enjoy it. I felt the souls of the lives lost hanging over my head. They followed me like ghosts.
Guilt consumed me. I needed to be alive for them, but I felt like I couldn’t be happy. “So,” Oswald said. “What would you like to do today?”
I finished my last piece of cake and started cutting another one. “I wanna be outside.” I didn’t know why. Maybe because I missed the sun.
“We can do that.” Elisa smiled warmly at me. I tried to match it. That was all being alive was; playing a part.
We went to a park a few miles away.
“Cool, there’s an ice cream stand,” Oswald said. “Let’s go.” He dragged Poppy behind him.
“You coming?” Elisa asked, pulling her wallet from her purse.
“I’m okay. I had a lot of cake.”
“All right. We’ll be back.” She pecked me on the cheek and left.
The sun shined brightly and the cold wing blew. Just how I used to like it. The park had actual grass. I took my shoes off so I could feel it against my feet.
Music played in the background.
The wind made the cotton of my sundress hit my skin lightly. I sank down to the grass and laid on my back. I let the sun warm my face as I breathed in and out.
Could I will my heart to beat again?
I found myself in the middle of a memory. I was a little girl—maybe seven or so—and I hung out with Poppy and Oswald. We played superheroes in my backyard. My mom made us capes and Oswald’s mom made each of us a weapon that went with who we chose to be. Poppy was Thor. Oswald was Batman I was Captain America. My dad introduced me to Captain America. I even still had some of his old comics in my room.
We spent a lot of Saturday mornings playing in my backyard. Life had been so easy. Nothing real ever happened.
A strong wind blew at me and the cold gave me goosebumps. I ran my fingers along the. It was a small comfort when my body still had proper reactions to things. It made me feel halfway human.
“Chilly?” I heard a familiar voice say.
I didn’t open my eyes. “Here to try and stab me again?” I asked Ezra.
“Not today,” he said in a blasé voice.
I chuckled. “I’m not afraid of you.” I turned my head and opened my eyes. He laid next to me, his face turned to mine.
He wore black jeans and an old looking leather jacket. The same one from the first time I met him.
“I don’t need you to be. If I thought you would be afraid, then I would have found you when your friends,” he said the word almost mockingly, “were farther away. Currently they are still in line. Fighting about if strawberry ice cream is better than vanilla.”
“That’s dumb. Strawberry is clearly the winner,” I rested my hand on my stomach and crossed my ankles.
“Clearly.”
“So, why are you here? Do you just have a thing for parks? Ya know, people frown upon those who lurk in dark corners and try and kill young girls. Might wanna rethink your strategies, buddy.”
An eyebrow went up in amusement. “I’ll have you know, little dead girl, that my strategies have been working for me for over two and a half centuries. So bite me.”
I sat up and looked down at him. “My, look who thinks they’re cock of the walk. Big talk for such an old man.”
He narrowed his green eyes at me. “Excuse me?”
“You heard me.”
He sat up, and I thought he might hit me.
“What are you?” I asked. “Antichrist, Made, hellion, Fallen? Can’t be a topside if you’re as old as you claim. Well, I guess you can if your parents are both immortal beings…” I corrected myself.
He looked surprised. “You seem to know a lot about the things that go bump in the night.”
I rolled my eyes. “I lived in Hell for five months. I’m fairly well
versed in supernatural creatures.” I stopped and looked down. “I’m one now…”
He waited a few seconds. “Hellion.”
I looked back up. “Ah, part of a very exclusive club of the living-dead. How’d you die?”
He looked into my eyes and I felt unsettled. Like I invaded something of his. Not that I gave a damn about his feelings.
Was it terrible that I felt a small connection to him because we both died? He knew how it felt to die and come back. I knew that all of the hellions had died and the Devil made them into demons. They worked for him.
Ezra sidestepped my question. “I’m here to make you an offer.” He smiled.
“Oh. What could you possibly give me?”
“Don’t for a second think I have nothing I could give you. Or that you wouldn’t want it. Trust me, you would.”
Unaffected by his efforts—for the most part—I said, “What’s your offer?” I laid back in the grass.
Ezra tucked his knees close to his chest, and leaning a little toward the ground. He pulled apart blades of grass and let them fall to the earth. “I know you don’t want this life. And if you let me, I can put you back where you belong. You can still get your Heaven.”
“It’s not about just me anymore. Three people gave their futures up for me. If I let myself die, then it will have been for nothing. I can’t do that to them.”
“You don’t get a choice in the matter. Your choices were taken the second you died. I’m offering to make this easy on you.” He broke another blade in half and started peeling it apart.
“Do you do that for everyone you’re sent after?”
Ezra finally looked at me. “No. No I don’t.”
I considered it, but only for a second.
I couldn’t lie down and die. I didn’t know if I wanted to anymore. I wanted to feel alive again. I didn’t know if I could get there, but I’d spend the rest of my life trying.
“If I say no?” I asked.
He sighed. “Then the hunt beings. I will find you wherever you try and hide. Then I’ll kill you. You’ll end up in Hell, no matter what you say.”
I chewed on the inside of my cheek. “Well then, gotta go with a hard no on that one. I’m going to stay alive.” I sat up. “And you’re not going to kill me.”
The corner of his mouth turned up, revealing the smallest hint of a dimple.
His eyes went to the shoulder of the arm I leaned on. The thin black strap had fallen down my arm. He slowly ran his hand up the length of my arm.
“I will kill you,” he said calmly as his fingertips brushed over my shoulder and down my back. “I promise you that. Just not today.” He stood up and offered a hand to me.
I didn’t take it.
“Why? Not in the mood?” I asked.
“Because, it would be rude to kill a girl on her birthday.”
I had no clue how he knew it was my birthday, so I let it go rather than waste time being creeped out.
Ezra put his hands in his jacket pockets. “Have a nice day.” He walked away from me.
Chapter Six: Intel
Ezra
That girl. That frustrating, infuriating, stubborn dead girl.
I offered her the best I could do. I took time out of my day to go and see her, to try for once to be kind. I should have known better. No matter. I’d have her soon.
I grabbed my motorcycle to head back to my loft.
Once there, I went back over the girl’s file, looking for anything that might’ve helped me. After an hour, I had the words memorized. In the whole file full of information on her, I didn’t know a thing about the girl. Nothing that could help me come up with something to get her to go willingly.
Not that I needed her to be willing. I just wanted it.
Maybe I wasted my time. I should just go and find her tomorrow and put us out of our miseries.
I found it interesting, her reason for wanting to live. It had absolutely nothing to do with what she wanted. She didn’t want to waste what three people unwillingly gave up for her.
Too bad it wasn’t that simple.
I couldn’t let her be. I needed to do my job. I wonder if it would be any comfort to her if she knew that those souls now resided in Heaven, in utter peace and safety.
I tucked the file away with my small collection of books. I knew it would have been smarter to get one of those electronic things that I could read on—so that I could travel without having to lug them around. But I enjoyed too much the feeling of paper under my hands. My actual home had quite a large collection.
I had a whole room that smelled of old books. Several of them nearly as old as me. Those I kept safely locked away, should a person with a death wish decide to break into my home.
I laid in my king-sized bed and found myself again staring above me. I think I was bored. One of the few downfalls of being cut off from society was that I didn’t have much to do when not actively hunting someone.
A loud beeping got me out of bed. I knew who called before I checked my phone. Only one person had the number.
Rupert called me down to Hell. I didn’t bother with trying to figure out why. I just closed my eyes and focused on getting down there.
I opened my eyes to the familiar bus stop. Rupert already waited for me.
“Yes?” I said as I approached him, leaving the empty bus stop behind. He didn’t have a new file in his hand, so it couldn’t have been about a new assignment.
“I need to add to your current case. The girls’ friends are the ones who somehow brought her back. I think it’s best if we knew how. I’d like you to get as much information on them as you can. This cannot happen again, and when you kill the girl, we can’t have her friends pulling her right back out.”
I nodded. “I’ll get the information.” I grinned as an idea popped into my head. Something that would piss off that smartass little girl. “And I know exactly how I’ll do it.”
I thought about those people she called friends and how they could have possibly gotten the power to resurrect the dead. I’d never seen or heard of that working before. Many tried, of course, following some random leads that they thought might help them. They looked all over the world for charms or wise men to ask for the information they needed. People tended to mistake old men for wise ones.
Those three children shouldn’t have been able to tap into that kind of energy. If I was being honest, I wanted to know how they did it.
“Good. That’s all, you can go home now.” He turned from me and headed for the antichrist gates.
I’d never been inside, I wasn’t allowed in without specific permission from Lucifer. Even when I died, I never made it past the bus stop. Maybe that had been for the best. The side of Hell that I would’ve gone wasn’t as nice as the other.
I saw a little red head running towards us as Rupert walked back home. I waited for the girl.
“Ezra!” Caroline shouted to me before she reached the bus stop. “Did you find her? Is she okay?”
“Who?”
She narrowed her eyes at me. “Annie Amarus. I know you’re the one assigned to bring her back.”
I crossed my arms. “You know her?”
She huffed. “Yes. We’re friends. I was with her when she got pulled out of Hell. I didn’t know what was happening until I talked to Rupert a couple days ago. He told me what happened to her soul. And that you’re going to kill her.”
She didn’t look angry with me, just worried for her friend. I should have known that she’d find herself such a troublemaker for a friend.
I’d known Caroline since just after she died. She had only been sixteen when one of her siblings murdered her. For some reason, I felt for her. I would talk to Caroline when I came down to Hell, and it eventually turned into as close to a friendship as I could get.
It didn’t take Caroline too long to recover from her death. She got her job as a bus driver and her mother could visit her. It eased her way.
“Yes, I’m going to kill her,” I said, not b
othering to be gentle about it. Even if I wanted to be, I didn’t think I could.
“Is she okay?” Her blue eyes—not as bright as Anastasia’s but somehow livelier—were full of desperate concern.
“She’s not taking well to her new life. She wants to be dead again, but she won’t go willingly. She feels guilt over the people that died for her to come back.”
“Of course she does. Annie’s not the kind of person who wouldn’t care. She’s a fighter and she’s strong.”
“Fantastic.” I rolled my eyes. “I’m glad to hear that this assignment will remain a difficult one. I love troublesome targets.”
She kicked my leg. “She’s not an assignment. She’s my friend, not your target.” She stepped closer to me and poked me in the chest with her fingernail. “I know you’re supposed to kill her, but I swear if you hurt her in any other way, I will take that pretty little dagger of yours and—”
“I get it.” I put my hands on her shoulders and pushed her back. “You’re okay with me killing her, but I need to be careful not to hurt her feelings.” My mocking tone made her angrier.
“No, I’m not okay with you killing her, but there’s nothing I can do about it. Listen to me, dearie. I like you, but I like Annie too. If I find out that you put her through any more grief than she needs to be going through, we will have words.”
“Oh, dear.” I smiled. “How frightened I am. Whatever shall I do?”
“Take a break from being a dick. That might do ya some good. Maybe if you get to—no.” She shook her head and a confident grin painted her face. “Not maybe. If you get to know her, you’d like her. She’s funny and—”
“Annoying,” I corrected her.
“Smart.” Caroline kicked me again. I believed her.
“But, dearie.” I smiled down at her. “You haven’t ever gotten to see the full extent of my charm.”
Caroline never registered on that level for me. When I met her, she had been so young and scared. In my mind she would forever be that same young girl.
She rolled her eyes at me. “I think I get the idea. I doubt Annie would ever want your charm.”
