by Nicole Thorn
He shrugged indifferently.
“Are you going to kill me now?”
He smiled chillingly. “I would, but I think you’d like that. And I’d like to draw this out a bit more.”
“Like it?” I snapped. “Why would I like it?”
“I think that some part of you wants to be dead. It would be easier than trying to be alive.”
He wasn’t wrong. It had been so easy, death. That didn’t mean I’d just let him kill me. I wasn’t that far gone yet. I feared the day I would be.
I was back on his hit list, and he didn’t seem to mind. Any pain he might’ve felt had vanished.
“So that’s it? I’m just the target again?”
His indifference turned to anger. “Excuse me?”
“Your diary. In it you called me The Target. Like I was nothing. I believed I was nothing, and then you tried to convince me otherwise. Why? A game? A way to pass the time?”
“When did you read it?” his voice sounded deceptively calm.
“Why does that—”
“When did you read it?” he yelled at me.
I flinched back, and for half a second, his face softened into the Ezra that I knew. “When you left me alone, after you first grabbed me,” I told him.
His anger lessened by a fraction. “Of course you read it,” he said.
“You didn’t answer my question. Am I just a target now?”
Ezra stood up straight, and got on the motorcycle. He didn’t look at me when he spoke. “You were never more than that.” His engine roared to life, and he left without another word.
I ran back up the fire escape and into my room. I crashed down on my bed, and the tears came. My body ached with guilt and fear and regret. I’d lost the tiny part of Ezra that had cared about me.
***
Elisa woke me with a piece of double chocolate cake.
“Whoa. What the Hell happened to you.”
“What are you talking about?” I shoveled a mouthful between my teeth.
“You’re a mess and your eyes are bloodshot. It looks like you cried for an hour. Did you?”
“No,” I lied and took another bite.
Brown eyebrows went up as she crossed her arms. “Really?”
I shook my head.
“Tell me the truth.”
“I’m fine.”
She tapped her foot on the white carpet. “I can force it out of you, ya know.”
I ignored her.
“Annie!” she shouted, and I nearly dropped the cake on the floor. Poppy would have been pissed about the chocolate stain.
“It’s nothing,” I lied again.
Elisa sat on the bed and fidgeted. She pulled Ezra’s jacket out and examined it. “Where did you get this?”
I didn’t answer.
“I know you don’t own a leather jacket,” she sounded mystified as she tried figuring it out. “So how did you…” Her eyes widened. “Is this his.” It sounded like she accused me of something.
“Um…”
“Why do you have this?”
“He let me wear it when it got cold.”
“How sweet,” she said sarcastically. “Why was it on your bed? You weren’t wearing it, so that couldn’t be why. Did you sleep with it or something?” She laughed, and I let my face go blank.
“Oh shit,” Elisa whispered. “You did. Please tell me I’m wrong.”
I didn’t.
“Jesus.” Elisa stood up, throwing the jacket on the floor. “Did you develop some kind of fucked up Stockholm Syndrome when you were with him? He feeds you and lets you borrow his jacket, and you just melt? Did he make you have sex with him?”
“No! That’s not what this was.”
“So, he didn’t touch you?” She sounded relieved, until I didn’t lie quick enough. “What did he do to you? I’ll kill him!”
I stood up and put the cake down. “N-no. Don’t hurt him. Please don’t hurt him.”
“Annie.” Her voice weakened with concern. “What you feel for him—think you feel—it’s a lie. It’s not real.”
I wanted to tell her that it was, but I stayed quiet. I let her hug me and tell me that everything would be all right. That I’d never have to see him again, and that she’d keep me safe. I didn’t want that.
When Poppy and Oswald got home, I heard the same lies from them after Elisa blabbed about my feelings.
“Oh, Annie.” Poppy hugged me. “I’m so sorry. We should have never left you in that house.”
I’d have given anything up if it meant having what I got with Ezra.
Chapter Twenty-Two: Absolution
Ezra
I’d caused her pain. I thought that it had been what I wanted, but once I’d caused the harm, I wanted to take it back. Such a blasphemous lie, telling her she meant no more than a target to me.
My anger had lessened with that look in her eyes. She’d betrayed me twice. I couldn’t really blame her for either act, but that didn’t take the anger away.
At least she hadn’t read much of what I’d written in my diary. I was grateful she didn’t get a hold of the book more recently. I didn’t need her knowing how I felt about her. It would only make this harder.
Though I didn’t think that killing her while she hated me would be any better. I’d know soon.
I drove back to the apartment, and I had to stop myself from turning around three times. I needed to keep up surveillance on Anna just in case she ran. It would be a long search for her, and with four witches, I might’ve never found her again.
I parked outside for nearly two hours before I saw Anastasia’s head poke out of her window. She looked scared and happy. Happy to see me…
It seemed too far out of reach to believe that she told the truth when she said she wanted me. If she did, she wouldn’t have left me.
A thought poked at my brain. She left so you wouldn’t kill her. She just wanted to stay alive. Maybe it didn’t matter how much she might’ve wanted me, because she wanted to be alive too.
Anastasia climbed from the window and slowly walked over to me. “So.” She crossed her arms. “You’re gonna camp out here until you decide to kill me?”
“Yup.”
“Kinda creepy if ya ask me.”
“I didn’t.”
She hid a smirk. “How refreshing it is to get back to this with you. The bickering and rudeness. I really hated all of that nice stuff, like the bacon and cuddles,” she said sarcastically.
“You chose to end that, Anastasia. You did this.”
She held her arms out. “I’m sorry I didn’t want to die. Forgive me for trying to save my own life. How could I do such a selfish thing? May God smite me down right now.”
“Quit being a brat. By the way, it was selfish, the way you left.”
She closed her eyes. “I know it was.”
“Good. You shouldn’t have done it that way. What I really don’t understand is why you laid with me all damn day. You wouldn’t leave my side for a second. Why?”
Her eyes opened and went to the ground. “I wanted you. I just wanted to be close to you before I left.”
Confirming that she had it planned. “Why would you want to be close to me? What on Earth could make you want that? Don’t you dare try telling me that you care about me. I want the truth.”
“That’s the truth. I told you yesterday that I’ve never lied to you. Not a single time. Every time I kissed you, it was because I wanted to.”
Again, I had to ask, “Why?”
She laughed once, sharply. “You said you weren’t a fool, Ezra. Figure it out. Now tell me this, why did it upset you so much when I left? You know that finding me again would be easy. Killing me would be easy. You’ve had your finger on the trigger since before we met, but you’ve been hesitating. Tell me why?”
I ignored the obvious reason, just because it seemed too ridiculous.
“No answer?” she asked, getting more and more aggravated by the second. “How about an answer for this one? Why
did you try so hard to convince me that I mattered? I begged you to kill me, to do the job that you were sent for. You chose to ignore your job to comfort me instead. The girl who you don’t even trust enough to tell her how you died, and how you got the damn job in the first place.”
“You want to know how I died? You want to know the monster I am? Fine. Have what you want.”
Before ~ II
I laid in my bed, twisting the dagger in my hands. I’d used it to take more lives than I could count. Most of the men in the village had fallen by now. Only a few of the women met the end of my blade. My mother being the first. I’d slit her throat, like she’d had my Divina’s throat slit. Like a pig. Like she was nothing.
She was everything.
The last man I’d killed was done this morning, while his wife and children slept in their beds. He had been a well-respected man. One who I knew had been a favorite of my father’s. That might be because he was the village butcher.
I’d killed him as such, cutting all of his limbs from his body and wrapping them in butcher paper, for his family to find.
When my brother screamed for me, I knew they did.
I put my dagger under a pillow, so Hamish would not see. If I got caught, then no one else would die. They all needed to die.
My brother came in through the wooden door, and his curly blonde hair fell into his face. He brushed it back.
He was only fifteen years old. When our brother found our parents bodies, Hamish cried for two days. He did not know the evil in them. Or me.
“Yes?” I said with no emotion. I hadn’t felt anything since that day.
“The butcher! His wife is wailing in the town courtyard. She said that her husband was murdered. He was cut to pieces. The little girl found him when she woke up.”
A child found him… “Did she?” I asked with my eyes on nothing. “Pity.”
“This killer still runs free. What if he comes after us next? He’s already killed three people in this house.”
“I doubt he’d kill here again, Hamish. No need to worry.” My little brothers did nothing to me. I had no reason to kill any of them.
“How can you sit in here while our people are killed daily? Do you not care?”
“I do not,” I answered.
***
I awoke early, with my sights set on the farmer down the road. Divina once told me that he dropped a jar of milk and blamed her. He’d hit her. She wanted me to do something about it when it happened, but I didn’t. I wouldn’t fail her now.
I quietly walked past his sleeping dog and into his bedroom, where he laid sleeping. For the next part, I’d need him unconscious. Couldn’t have him yelling for help.
I took the empty bottle of what used to be wine, and broke it on his head. The man still breathed, but he didn’t move when I threw him over my shoulder.
I brought him out to the barn, and dropped him on the hay-covered ground.
The hook was already attached to a rope, saving me a lot of time. I threw it over the wooden beam across the top of the barn, then I hung the man upside down.
He slept for a while longer, but I waited in a wooden chair across from him until he woke up. Thankfully, I had a lot of patience. I didn’t want the farmer sleeping for this.
When his eyes opened, the panic set in instantly. His head whipped around, and when he looked at me, I smiled.
“Hello,” I greeted him, and stood. “Fine day.”
The man cried. “W-what are you doing? Why am I here?”
I clicked my tongue. “You’re quite a rude man, and I’m here to make sure you’re not rude to anyone else. So—” I flipped the dagger around in my hands.
“Please, please I’ll do any—” My blade slid across his throat. His blood poured as he choked on it. I watched he farmer until his cries turned to choking coughs.
His dog finally woke. I turned to look at him as he ran up to his master.
I couldn’t just leave this dog to slowly starve to death. That would be cruel. I looked down at my dagger and called to the dog. He ran to me, and I knelt down.
I pet his head with my free hand. “Hello, boy. Today is going to be a very bad day for you.”
He howled.
“I know a little about bad days. No good way to end them. It’s best to just get on with it.”
My grip on the dagger tightened as I stood up. I walked back over to the man and cut the rope. His body landed on the wet hay below, and it made a harsh sound. The man still fought for his life.
I produced two knives from my pocket. I’d been saving them, but this would work out fine. Couldn’t risk him getting away. I shoved a knife into each of his hands. He screamed and lost another gush of blood. Bless my patience and ability to make the cut shallow enough to keep him kicking a while longer.
I knelt again and sliced his arm open in several spots, then stood.
“Eat up,” I said as I walked out of the barn. I heard the dog crying for his owner as I left.
***
The village grew more and more panicked as the bodies started piling up. They’d gone as far as to send for help. Someone to find the killer. He was supposedly in the village already, interviewing people for information. I chose not to partake in the matter.
My last task had ended with me covered in blood. I had found the priest and crucified him to the church doors.
I knelt at a small river in the middle of the woods. I dipped my hands in the water and tried to wash the blood off.
Once I did the best I could, I stood up and turned. I rung out my shirt, and looked up when I heard twigs breaking.
I saw a man. Tall and bulky. He had an arrow pulled tightly against his bowstring, ready to fly. It pointed at the ground beside him.
His eyes traveled my body, and his face changed when he took in the blood.
“What did you do that brought about so much blood?” the huntsman asked.
“Hunting.”
“What were you hunting?”
My smile grew. “None of your concern.”
He brought his arrow up, and pointed it at me. “Who?”
“Who? You insinuate it was a man I killed.”
“I did.”
“Well, that too, would be none of your concern.” I pulled my damp clothes over my head.
“A boy is the one killing everyone in this village? What would make you do such an evil thing?”
No point in trying to deny it. I’d been caught. Not that I tried hard to avoid it. “Evil is born from evil.”
“And your evil ends today.” He let his arrow fly, and it hit me in the center of my chest. I dropped to my knees and died in the water.
***
My eyes opened to a barren wasteland. It smelled of sulfur and dust.
I stood alone in the endless and empty land. The only things in sight were too massive gates on opposite sides of the lane.
I looked down at my chest, where the arrow went through my heart. There was no evidence of a wound, yet I didn’t feel alive.
“Ezra.”
I turned around.
A tall man approached. Much taller than me. His hair was black and long. His eyes two different colors, one hazel and the other green.
“What is this place?” I asked him.
“Hell.” He smiled.
Of course. I’d earned this fate. My only disappointment was that Divina resided in Heaven. She must have.
“And who are you?”
His smile grew. “I have many names. The one you may know me best as is Lucifer.”
I spoke with The Adversary himself.
“I thought you’d be taller.”
A black eyebrow went up. “I would ask if you had a death wish, but I received my answer. You made no move to save your skin. Why?”
“I saw no reason to.”
“I see. I know you, boy. I know your life, and your reasoning for what you’ve done. I care not for your reason. I did, however, enjoy your methods.”
“Did you? I i
mpressed The Morning Star? I’m honored.” I bowed.
“Best not mock those more powerful than you. If you think that an arrow was painful, I’ll remind you that you’ve yet to taste my hellfire. You won’t, if you accept the offer I’m about to make you.”
“What might that be?”
“I need killers. Assassins. Typically, I pick a few and they go through a few decades of training. I’m making an exception for you.”
“You want me to kill for you?”
“Yes. You will live until you are killed again. If and when that may happen, you will reside in the castle for my fallen demons.”
“No torture?”
“Not unless you disobey me in your life. As long as you do the jobs I give you, you will live and live well. What is your answer?”
What could I say? Eternal torture or a job for Lucifer? “My answer is yes.”
Without warning, purple fire surrounded me. It was painless, but I felt my body changing.
When the fire died, Lucifer said, “Enjoy your new body. Works just like the old one, but better. You’ll heal much faster. Your hearing and vision are increased, as well as your strength. All of your senses. Everything you need to kill those I send you after. All you need to do now is decide on your weapon of choice.”
“A dagger,” I said immediately. “I want a dagger.”
***
I stared at Anastasia. She knew everything now. Every kill I made when I was human, and why I killed them. She knew the monster now, and I waited for her to say it.
“I’m so sorry, Ezra.”
My brain shut down for a moment as I went over her words. “You are… sorry?”
“Yes,” Anna said like I should know better. “That was horrible, what your parents did to her.”
“Did you miss the part where I slaughtered my village?”
“No.”
I narrowed my eyes, considering her.
She spoke up again. “Obviously that wasn’t a good thing to do. But I know why you did it. You were young, and overcome with grief. I don’t condone it, but I… understand it.”
“You’re not scared of me?”
“No.” Her voice sounded soft. I still waited for her eyes to change. For there to be a sign that she saw the monster now. There was no change in her, but I felt one in me. Everything made sense to me now. I figured out why I didn’t know what happened to me before.
