The foster mom gave the social worker a dirty look. “Can we do this later? I’d like to just get her inside. It’s freezing.”
The woman cared. Which was good, because T had only been in her house a short while.
T positioned her body so her back was to empty space. She didn’t want to be surrounded.
“What meds are we talking about?” Merck didn’t bother to introduce himself. T knew him from my relationship with the cop.
The foster mom hugged the blanket. “Antidepressants. For the selective mutism.”
I looked at T and she met my gaze. Medication. T was flashing to her mom, I was sure of it. Obviously, for her she was totally able to talk. She didn’t need the drugs.
I walked over to the foster mom. “Ma’am? Can I have this?”
She looked me up and down and then looked to Merck. He nodded.
I grabbed the blanket. “Thanks.”
After spreading the afghan like wings looking for an angel, I walked to T.
I wrapped her up. She put her cold forehead against the base of my neck.
I kissed the top of her messy head. “T, what’s going on? Just come with me. Okay?”
Just like the night under the bridge, I lifted her into my arms. I nodded at the car, and Merck jogged over and opened the back door. I leaned down and put T inside.
The social worker began shaking his head, with his mouth moving from one side to the other.
T was safe with me, and I’d do anything to keep it that way.
Merck began doing what he did best, soothing complicated situations so that the people involved could get through the night.
I slid in next to T. She was zoning out. Maybe she was allergic to what they had given her? Meds were tough. The correct combination really helped some kids. I watched how right they were when it happened. But getting the dosage correct, and the type correct was trial and error. And I was looking at an error right now with big brown eyes and a stubborn streak.
“You know, your mom would want you happy, if she had it all together. That’s how I hear moms are. This is a nice lady you’re with.”
I watched as she fumed at me. “Are you kidding? Right now?” she whispered so the adults wouldn’t hear. And even though she was mad at me, I put my arm up so no one could see her mouth moving.
“Maybe drop the not talking thing?” I offered.
She shook her head and pinched her eyebrows together. “I have one mother.”
Merck headed in our direction. I glanced at him, and he acknowledged me. A resolution had been reached, and I knew T wouldn’t be happy with it just by the way he had his shoulders set.
Animal
That night the foster mom agreed to let T keep her window open if she would come inside the house. The little girl with the asthma would sleep on the floor in the master bedroom tonight. T got out of the other side of the car, so I couldn’t stop her. She was leaving too quickly. I didn’t get to tell her that I understood and it was just a suggestion. I’d support her.
Instead, she walked back in the front door of the foster home like she hadn’t been losing it on the front lawn at all.
I knew she was sneaking out as soon as she could. She was done with a capital D. Merck and I rolled out after the social worker had finished his paperwork.
Merck scratched his jaw lightly when we were finally rolling back to the home. “I feel like that was too easy.”
“It was. T’s not likely to stay put.” I already knew I’d sneak out as well and try to intercept her.
I heard Merck sigh. “Yeah, I’ll tell the guys to look out for her. It’s really cold, and I don’t trust that she would be able to stay warm.”
“What are the odds that we could get T into a place like I’m in? Do they have one for girls?” I was trying to think if I’d ever heard of something similar.
“They do, but it’s not in the same school district. I know you guys are close, so I was shying away from that option. I mean, that foster mom is really fantastic. She’d be great with T. She is great with T.” Merck swung the car around the circular driveway to sign me back in.
“Yeah, I appreciate that. I’ll mention it to her, maybe. Thanks for everything.” I got out of the car the same time Merck did, and we slammed our doors in unison.
He patted me on the back after I was signed in, and I thanked him for the trip. I jogged up the back steps to my unit.
I was out the window minutes after headcount. I was good at shimmying down the latticework that normally propped up ivy in the spring. I could pop locks. Maybe that’s what I had to teach T about escaping. If she knew how to get out of anywhere, no door would ever really be closed for her.
I was hustling to the neighborhood where T was, and I knew it would take a while when a lowered Monte Carlo flashed by me down the road, illuminated by the light post I was walking underneath.
I knew I was screwed when it slowed down and reverse lights came on.
I turned to the woods and headed for them. Another car came up behind me and skidded to a halt. The Monte Carlo had company, and so did I.
T
I was able to get my clothes from the laundry room after everyone was asleep. I had a warm jacket on and my mother’s hospital bracelet. Nothing else I had mattered. I knew Marybeth, the foster mom, was a light sleeper, but I’d tuckered her out with worry. I still made sure to be extra quiet.
I was done. I didn’t want to leave, but too many adults around me were involved and official. My fine art of staying under the radar was blown. And this foster cared too much. She’d make sure I had a place to stay—even if it wasn’t here. I could sense she played the long game. Part of my traitorous heart wanted to lean into the welcome. The caring. The dedication.
But I shook it off. I hadn’t taken the next dose of the meds, so I was hoping my head would clear soon.
I had to leave Midville, and it killed me. I would have to treat this town like I was a wanted criminal here. The scars around my determination flared up. I would miss seeing my mom from a distance. I would pine for Animal’s understanding.
The only option I had was to become a missing person. Fade from memory. Become a girl that used to be. It would be best if I didn’t see Animal again, but my feet seemed pre-programmed to head in his direction. I pulled my hood up and took off into the night without looking back.
Chapter 13
Animal
It was pointless to run now. Stupid Boon and Fleece and their dumb as bricks friends, Brooks and Smiley, were all feeling pretty frigging pumped.
Because they got me alone.
I crossed my arms in front of my chest so they couldn’t see my heart pounding there.
There was no Merck here. No friends to help. And I had no weapons.
Clearly, this was going to be a mess.
“Look at this. Not so fucking ballsy without the gun I handed you.” Fleece stomped his foot and hit his own fist. I cursed under my breath when I flinched.
“We could’ve had a sweet car, a nice payout. But instead, I’m up at night wondering if you flipped on me.” Boon was bobbing his head like there was music playing. I guessed it was his lame way of agreeing with Fleece.
Brooks decided he had shit to say and added, “Where’s your sugar daddy, Animal? That cop like ’em young?”
I was going down, that was for sure. But I didn’t have to cower for them.
“Brooks, how many hours did it take for you to string that sentence together?” I turned my face toward him. “And you two low-life assholes have to spend your time obsessing over a fourteen-year-old kid? Are you too scared of the guys your own age?”
After the insults settled, their predatory sneers turned to grimaces and frowns. I threw as many punches as I could, but when one of them hit the back of my knee, I bowed.
And once I was on the ground, there was no getting back up. I wished darkness would take me, but I was conscious for every punch, blow, and kick.
Animal
They say you
r life flashes before your eyes when you’re dying. That’s not what happened when I was getting the ever-living shit kicked out of me on a cold road at night.
My future flashed in front of me. How mad Merck would be at me for sneaking out. How hard it would be to know T was alone in this world. That I wouldn’t get to be an adult, fully in charge of my own decisions.
I kept trying to at least hurt them, take out a kneecap or something, but four guys together seemed like a monster with a million arms.
I saw her Converse sneakers in a blink. Maybe I was dreaming it. They’d hit my head enough.
The sound of gunshots blurred with the blows. With each passing thunder, there were fewer arms on the monster.
I heard growling. There were loud bells in my ears, too. One of my lungs felt like something from inside me was poking it. My left hand was numb. My leg made me yell when I tried to move it.
A cold hand lay on my forehead gently. “Stay put. Don’t move. They won’t hurt you anymore.”
I looked to my left without moving my head.
T.
She had a gun in her other hand.
“I’m going to grab a phone and see if I can call the cops.”
“Merck.” I wasn’t sure she heard me. My word sounded more like a cough.
The girl who was out of her mind hours earlier had just saved me.
I was in and out of consciousness. I didn’t hear her phone call or if she got Merck.
But the next time I came to, my head was in T’s lap and she was speaking to Merck. Sirens and lights made my head hurt worse.
“…put my jacket on that and tried to apply pressure. I wanted to keep him warm…”
Out again. Pain. Shallow breaths.
In again.
“…you did great, T. You’re going to have to let the paramedics do their job, though. Let him go.”
A growl. A low, female growl.
Out again.
For a long time.
Maybe this was death after all.
Chapter 14
T
I was having trouble peeling my fingers off of Animal. I knew he needed to go in the ambulance, but letting go of him was against everything I had inside.
Watching those men hurt him had flipped a switch for me. I was ready to kill everyone. Not my person. They weren’t taking one of my people. I only had two.
Merck—I recognized him, and he was firm with me that Animal needed to go to the paramedics.
I released him from my grip, but I felt like I was letting him fall off a cliff. Merck passed me to another cop.
When the ambulance door closed, I started to fight. It was hard to make a choice. My head was foggy. The meds were still wearing off, but still.
It went south quickly. It went to fighting for Animal to fighting for my life. They were only able to subdue me when they had the handcuffs on me.
They set me on the ground, and it was the first time I had to look at the damage I’d done. Three men dead. One man getting loaded into another ambulance.
I was a murderer now, and I had not one bit of regret. Each of them would have killed Animal. And as long as I had breath in my body, I wasn’t letting that happen.
I could turn off the consequences in my head. Animal had to live. That’s what mattered.
Chapter 15
Animal
Waking up in a hospital was confusing as shit. The monitors. The smell. Knowing somehow that time had passed, but not how much. I was tethered to the bed by an IV and lots of wires and something below my waist that I didn’t want to think about.
Merck was sleeping in a chair near the bed. I cleared my throat and tried to cough. Everything felt like I’d been through a meat grinder.
Merck’s eyes popped open. He looked at me hard and I tried to wave at him. Only my fingers would move.
He stood and ran out of the room so fast I thought there had to be something dangerous going on.
The nurse who ran back into the room with Merck had a much better bedside manner than he had, giving me information and welcoming me back to consciousness.
“Hey, guy! Great to see you awake. Just lie still for me. I know it feels like you’re a science experiment right now. I’m going to just get your vitals and we can do a pain assessment. You hurting?” She checked the machines while talking to me and timing my pulse.
“Yeah.” Gruff, grumbly voice.
Merck was on the other side of me with just his fingertips on my forearm. He’d usually pat me on the shoulder or whatever, but it was on fire right now. And he must have known that.
I turned my head to him. “T?”
Merck tilted his head to the side. “She’s safe. I’ll tell you everything, but first—you.” He pointed at the nurse and watched her intently.
She made me answer some questions and poked and prodded me. A doctor arrived, and he was fine, but I got the sense that the nurse knew more than he did about what was going on with me.
The nurse gently recommended a different course of painkillers because I’d had some sort of adverse reaction to the ones the doctor tried on me first.
Merck rolled his eyes at the nurse when the doctor turned around. She gave him a half-smile.
True to her word, the nurse told me I had a severe concussion, a cracked rib, a sprained ankle, and a dislocated shoulder. That reminded me of T again.
When all of a sudden I started to feel lighter and lighter, I knew whatever painkillers they had settled on were kicking in. Grateful was my overwhelming sensation. When the nurse was gone, I forced myself to stay awake.
“T’s okay. She had kind of a reaction to seeing you getting hurt. She killed three of the guys beating you up. Smiley lived. He’s a few floors below us right now. And T’s here, too. She’s not hurt, though. But…” Merck scratched his chin and looked reluctant to tell me. “She’s in the psych ward. She’s been growling and fighting people, but she’s safe.”
I nodded. I knew I would be more concerned soon. But I started floating away. The pain was dulling, and I was incredibly tired. “Protect.” Was all I was able to utter.
“I’m watching her. Don’t worry, son. I love you. Go back to sleep. I got you. And her.”
And I listened to him.
Animal
Healing was a lot about resting, so it seemed. And it also seemed like the pain got worse before it got better. It turned out I freaking hated painkillers. The Percocet gave me headaches. The Vicodin made me nauseous. I was aching. The physical therapist was a monster. How she made things better, I wasn’t sure, but soon enough I could pee on my own. When I managed that, I came out of the bathroom and looked at Merck.
“I know. T. Let me go figure things out. There’s rules there and stuff.” He pointed at my hospital gown. “You might want to figure out what you’re going to do about that.”
While he was gone, I sweet-talked a pretty nurse into letting me have a wheelchair and a few blankets so I could be in the hallways and also considered decent.
Merck came back shaking his head. “You’re lucky that the nurse in charge up there has about four million parking tickets. Let’s roll.”
I wanted to give a fist pump, but moving anything pretty much hurt everything.
We had to motor through the hallways and the elevator to get to T’s floor. I felt underdressed despite my blanket. My bathroom didn’t have a mirror, and I couldn’t find a reflective surface to see if my face was going to scare her.
I tried to protect it during the beatdown. Because I’m pretty.
We had to be admitted through two sets of doors to get into the psychological center.
The nurse in charge told us that T was in the rec area. I was expecting screaming. Maybe some naked people streaking around. The reality was a quiet difference.
There were only about nine other patients in the rec room. A TV was playing a dramatic daytime show. I spotted T at the table. A puzzle in front of her. But her eyes were on me.
Her gaze was shiny and seemed unfo
cused. It made sense. I bet here she was on the meds she didn’t like again.
Merck said hello to T and pulled a chair away so I could be pushed in next to her. Then he left us and started talking to the nurse who was watching over the patients.
I looked at the puzzle. Some sort of hairy tiger was the picture, but not all of the pieces that were jammed together were supposed to be that way.
“You doing that so they don’t catch on to you?” I mumbled.
Then I touched one of the ill-fitting pieces.
I watched as a smile inched onto her lips. Just a hint. And then I knew my T was in here.
She had a soft T-shirt on and baggy sweatpants. Canvas sneakers without laces.
“I can’t wear a bra because they think I’ll hang myself with it.” T slipped her index finger under her hospital bracelet.
I glanced around. I knew her gig was selective mute. And she was talking. But I guess that was where the selective part came into play.
“You okay?” She stopped fiddling with her bracelet and ran her index finger over mine.
“I’m going to be fine. It just hurts. Thanks, though. For saving me. I was going out, I think.” I had to stop to clear my throat.
“Animal Winters.” She read my name from the bracelet. Her medical fog seemed to lift a bit. “I’d do it again in a minute. Twice a day every day to keep you safe.”
“I know.” And I did. I knew she would be true to me no matter what. It was the realest thing that had ever been spoken to me. I looked at her finger. The nail had black polish on it. Where were you headed that night?”
“To you.” She shrugged.
“That’s where I was headed, too.”
She clamped her lips together. A glance over my shoulder let me know we were being watched.
Merck and I were going to have a conversation about what kind of trouble T was in because of the shootings. She was a juvenile, so I was hoping that would keep her safe.
My wheelchair was pulled back and T’s finger slipped out from under my hospital band.
“I’ll be back tomorrow. Okay?”
She didn’t respond, but she lifted her gaze to mine.
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