Cowboys Don't Have a Secret Baby

by Jessie Gussman

  “I’ll try to be out of bed by then.” His teeth flashed, and she remembered his self-depreciating sense of humor.

  “You’ll probably be up at dawn jogging or something.”

  “No, not yet. No one knows this. But the reason I came home in the first place is because I tore a few ligaments, not doing hockey, and I needed surgery to repair them. My agent doesn’t want anyone to know, because it could hurt my monetary prospects as he negotiates a contract.” He opened the heavy door for her, and she walked out.

  “I see. So you’re expecting to completely recover.”

  “Yeah, not a big deal. Just takes some time. It’s nice that Sweet Water has a gym in town now. Makes it easier. I don’t have a long drive every day.”

  They stopped at the bottom of the steps. Her car was back toward the diner. He’d probably parked on the other side of town.

  “Booker?”

  She looked up at him, not touching. He’d promised, and he’d kept the promise.

  “Yes?”

  “Thanks.” He ran a hand through his hair, free from his hat, and hooked it around his neck. “I know this wasn’t easy for you.”

  “No. It wasn’t. But I’m not perfect, and I’ve made some mistakes, and I hope that people will forgive me, too.” She didn’t know if he’d be angry about Tella or not. She didn’t feel like he had the right to be. If he’d have called her, even once, she would have told him she was pregnant. It would have been a relief. But maybe not. Part of the reason she hadn’t sought him out was so that he could play the hockey he was born to play. If he’d come home to do the “right” thing and marry her, he wouldn’t be where he was. It was a sacrifice she’d made on purpose.

  His hand dropped. “I’ll see you Friday.”

  “Yeah.”

  “At two.”

  “Yeah.”

  “I only said I wouldn’t touch you tonight.”

  “We’ve got a cattle prod at home. I’ll change the batteries and bring it.”

  He laughed and held his hands up. “Ford used one on me once. I dropped like a rock. He got in big trouble.”

  Louise laughed. “I’m sure Sawyer and Palmer did the same thing at one time or another.”

  He took a breath in through his nose. “I’d like to make sure you get home okay.”

  “I’ve been driving myself home since I was seventeen.”

  “I know.” He shoved his hands into his pockets. “Don’t think I’m a stalker, but I watched you walk out of the diner a few nights ago, and with the lightning and thunder, it was all I could do not to follow you.”

  He’d watched her? Maybe she should be aghast at that, but the fact made her happy. “I’d think you’re a stalker, but only a recent one, since I haven’t seen you for almost a decade.”

  “You gonna rub that in for the rest of my life?”

  She shrugged and tossed her head, starting away.

  “I’m gonna follow you. I’ll take the fields home.”

  The way she’d gone when they’d met at the river. He stood waiting for her answer, and she was certain if she said no, he’d respect her choice. “That’s fine.”

  “I’ll walk you to your car.”

  “I can make it that far, I promise.”

  “Humor me.”

  She shrugged and started walking. She couldn’t deny that it felt good for someone to care.

  They walked down the sidewalk in silence, Ty’s big body close beside her. She could feel the heat coming off in waves. Everything that was completely missing when she was with Paul surrounded her in 3D with Ty.

  She hadn’t wanted to marry Paul, but if she didn’t, she could lose her chance to have a father for her little girl and get the one billion dollars. It wasn’t an opportunity that came around often. Or ever. And Paul was a sure thing. Ty had already left her hanging once.

  It wasn’t entirely fair to hold that against him, but what if something else happened? Would he leave and never come back? Paul had grown up here, gone to college, and come right back, living in an apartment as a bachelor for the two decades since. So he was almost forty. That didn’t matter. An age difference of ten years wasn’t a big deal. Paul loved Tella and was excellent with her. That was what really mattered.

  “What are you thinking about?” Ty’s voice came easily beside her.

  “Paul.”

  He grunted. “It’s not looking good for me if I’ve got you right beside me and you’re thinking about him.” He hissed out a breath. “Booker, tell me you don’t have feelings for him.”

  “Feelings didn’t get me anywhere the last time.”

  He huffed and looked away. “I have to live that down. I need some time. I can’t erase something like that overnight.”

  At least he knew it and didn’t expect her to fall into his arms as soon as he said “sorry.” “Paul and I already have plans.”

  “How soon?” he asked. There was a thread of desperation in his voice, but she had to believe it was because he was used to getting what he wanted. She’d seen pictures of him with beautiful women on his arm. He had a reasonable excuse for not contacting her, but it wasn’t like he sat alone in his apartment dreaming about her every second.

  “After Harvest Fest.”

  They’d reached her car, and she clicked to unlock the doors. He put his hand on her latch but didn’t open it.

  “I just have a few weeks.”

  She lifted a shoulder. She was too attracted to him. She wanted him too much. He’d hurt her too badly once. Did she even want to go down that road again? Not likely. As soon as he left and she didn’t have to see him, it would make things easier.

  She shook her head. “Ty, I like you. I don’t know if you’re the same guy you were when we were younger—”

  “I can show you who I am,” he interrupted with soft vehemence. “Please let me.”

  “You don’t know me, either. There might not be anything but some wicked attraction between us.”

  He put his hand up in a “stop” signal. “Don’t discount that. I’ve been with a lot of women, and you’re the only one that makes my insides feel like scrambled eggs.”

  She hated that he’d been with a lot of women. “Doesn’t sound like a compliment.”

  “It was.”

  “That was a good point, though. You’ve got all these other women. Maybe you’re just chasing me because I didn’t fall into your arms as soon as you smiled at me.”

  He shrugged. “Maybe that’s part of it. Maybe it’s hard to find a girl who doesn’t go all cow-eyed because I’m a good hockey player.” He said that without arrogancy. Just stating a fact.

  “You’ve found plenty of girls, I’ll give you that.”

  He leaned down so their eyes were more level. His voice was gentle but firm. “Maybe the reason there were a lot is because I couldn’t find the one that was better than you.”

  “And maybe you like variety. Or maybe you don’t know how to stay.” She met his eyes. He wasn’t going to intimidate her. And she wasn’t going to not tell him what was in her heart.

  “Maybe, if I find the right girl, I’ll quit hockey and take up ranching again.”

  “You’d better tell your mother, because she’s talking about selling the ranch.”

  “I know. I’m thinking about buying it. I should have done it before this.”

  Louise wasn’t sure what to make of that. She didn’t think it would happen. Ty was too big of a star to quit and lower himself to ranching again. Plus, she’d already talked to Miss Donna about buying.

  “You gonna open my car door?” Louise asked, pushing her other thoughts aside.

  But he didn’t move. “What are you doing Friday after work? I’ll take you out.”

  Her heart jumped, and her shoulders buzzed. But... “I’m going to a movie with Paul.” They’d had to reschedule after something urgent came up with his IT work.

  Ty’s lips flattened, but he just nodded. “What about the next night?”

  “Paul and I are ge
tting married for reasons other than our ‘feelings,’ but it hardly seems right to go out with another man.”

  “So tell him you’re checking out the competition. Or tell him we’re friends. I can tell him he’s going to have to work for you if he wants you.” Ty stared down into her eyes, as though promising he’d work for her.

  Louise pressed her lips together and looked away.

  Ty leaned over again. “If he wanted you, why wasn’t he waiting for you when you got off work? Or better yet, he could have been working with you. Why aren’t you rushing to his apartment when you’re done, and why aren’t you slapping my face and telling me to get lost?”

  That was a good question. If she wasn’t interested in Ty, she should send him on his way. And if she were going to take a chance on Ty, she should break it off with Paul immediately. It wasn’t right to waffle between the two.

  She knew which one she wanted; she just didn’t know if she could trust him. And Paul, even if he was boring, was a sure thing. A sure father and a billion dollar sure thing.

  “Paul’s willing to marry me. I’d have a home here, with my family, and he’d never leave me.” She met his eyes, unfathomable in the dusky light, before lifting her chin and getting in her car.

  He put a hand on the door so she couldn’t shut it. “I can do those three things too.”

  “Paul wants to. And you already had the opportunity.” She gave his hand a pointed look. He moved it slowly, his eyes never leaving her.

  “Thanks for meeting me,” she said before she closed the door.

  Chapter 12

  Ty wasn’t supposed to be jogging on his leg, but he did it anyway, wanting to get to his ATV quickly. He could go road speeds on it, but he hadn’t worn a helmet. Bugs would be a problem, since there was no windshield. Not that he hadn’t done it plenty of times in the past, but somehow, when he was eighteen, he didn’t think about losing an eye.

  His leg twinged a bit, but it held up with no searing pain as he got to his machine and started it. He hadn’t wanted to take it through town, which was why he’d parked where he did. It was loud and not street-legal anyway. It used to be, but they’d not kept up with the changing regulations, he was sure. He ran down the opposite road out of town and took a left on Mr. Thompson’s field road. The ATV headlight wasn’t the brightest, so he had to take it easy.

  It had cooled down since the sun set, and with the wind hitting him, it could even be called chilly, but it was nothing compared to the cold that winter brought, so he did what he’d done every year he’d lived here, sucked it up and told himself he wasn’t that cold.

  He was eager to catch up, so he didn’t dawdle, but he’d always loved night in North Dakota. Everything was bigger. The sky was bigger, there were more stars, the starlight was brighter, the whole atmosphere seemed to be filled with night air and sounds. Nowhere else on earth could compare to a late summer night in North Dakota. He’d forgotten.

  Feelings stirred in his chest, and the land called to him, pulling him, making him wish he’d not stayed away so long and that he was actually home to stay.

  He loved hockey. He’d worked hard to be an elite athlete, but he loved North Dakota more. Maybe he’d needed to move away to know that. But there was a woman here who made him think that maybe he’d played enough hockey.

  Those thoughts surprised him. Nothing came before hockey.

  He hit the end of the field and slowed to make the turn on the road. She’d passed by here already, he was sure. He couldn’t see lights in either direction. But he turned right and gunned the motor, riding in the middle of the right lane.

  She must have been driving slow, waiting on him, because he caught up to her in the next five miles. After that, they traveled together at about 45 mph. He’d rather be in the car going home together.

  The thought gave him pause. All the time he’d spent dreaming about her and wishing for her, he’d never really thought of family and home. But nowhere he’d been in the years he’d been gone had been conducive to thinking about having a home and family. College certainly wasn’t. Hockey wasn’t. And he’d never want to try to raise a family in the city.

  Was Louise thinking of having children with Paul?

  The thought made a jealous monster rumble in his chest. He’d never really wanted children, but with Louise, she could change his mind.

  He backed off as she pulled into her driveway. It was long, and the house wasn’t visible from the road. He followed at a distance, knowing he’d take the field road that turned off a hundred yards from the house and would follow it out to where it passed the river where they’d met.

  Stopping at his turnoff, he waited for her to get out. The porch light was on, and she turned and lifted a hand before walking up the steps and disappearing into the house.

  LOUISE SHUT THE PORCH light off and leaned against the door. Her heart wanted so badly to be with Ty, but her mind told her Paul was the safe choice.

  “Did I hear a four-wheeler?” The only light in the kitchen came from the light over the sink. Gram stood in the living room doorway, probably on her way to the restroom.

  “It was Ty Hanson.”

  Gram stopped her slow progress. “Oh.” A little smile played around her mouth. “I see.”

  “We’re planning Harvest Fest together, remember?” Not that they’d talked that much about it.

  “I remember.” Gram kept smiling as she hobbled to the restroom. Louise puttered in the kitchen until Gram made it back to bed. Then she climbed the stairs, checking on Tella, who slept soundly, before creeping to her own room.

  Her phone buzzed. She pulled it out of her pocket. A text from Ty. Throwing herself across her bed with a happy little grin, she pulled the text up.

  Thanks for talking to me tonight.

  She couldn’t wipe the silly smile from her face. Maybe this was what it felt like to be courted. Spending the evening talking to someone and still wanting to talk, even after they’d parted. Ty and she had never lacked things to talk about.

  Thanks for meeting me, she texted back.

  You’re even more beautiful now than you were in high school.

  I wasn’t beautiful then. Or now.

  You’re beautiful because you’re real. And honest.

  Guilt squeezed her chest. She hadn’t been either with him. If she had, he would know right now that he was a father. That they had a daughter together.

  I’ll see you around.

  I’m going to see you in just a few minutes when I close my eyes and fall asleep. Good night, Booker.

  She rolled her eyes, but her silly smile was back and stuck on. Good night.

  FRIDAY MORNING, LOUISE sat on the bench outside Patty’s Diner. Her leg bounced up and down. She’d already stopped it three times and tried to act normal, but she couldn’t quell the dinosaurs that rioted in her stomach.

  Palmer and Ames hadn’t bought a bull at the auction the other day, but they’d gotten a lead and gone out today with the trailer, taking Tella along with them.

  Palmer had texted that he’d bought a bull and would be home early. He was dropping Tella off on his way through. Which was fine. It actually worked out better in some ways, because the neighbor lady that often helped them watch Gram and Pap had not wanted to be late that evening. So, Louise had been able to tell her that Palmer would be home well before supper. The problem was, as much as she loved seeing her daughter, Tella would be here when Ty arrived, and she’d not managed to get the words out of her mouth the last time she saw him informing him that he was a father.

  Sitting in the church pew with all the privacy in the world would have been a much better time to tell him than while Tella was standing over them, watching. She didn’t want to hurt her daughter by springing the identity of her father on her like that. It might be different if Ty weren’t a big sports star, but Tella could even be wearing his jersey today. In fact, Louise thought back to three this morning. Yep. Tella had Ty’s jersey on.

  Thankfully, just then, Pal
mer’s truck rumbled down Main Street with the silver stock trailer rolling behind. Louise jumped up, meeting them before they even pulled to a stop. She opened the back passenger door.

  “Tella! Honey, I missed you!” She grabbed Tella in a hug that surprised her sweet daughter. Tella hugged her back.

  “I missed you too, Mom, but we had a great time! There were so many animals at that ranch, and Uncle Palmer said I could get a Brown Swiss if you said yes, and we ate junk food and fast food all day, and I even had a soda, but now I have to pee. Let me out, please.”

  Louise blinked. Her daughter was normally calm and quiet. She stepped back so Tella could run into the diner where she was just as at home as her own home. Louise saw the Hanson name and Ty’s number, twenty-six, as Tella ran away. “Tella, wait!” But it was too late. Tella had disappeared into the diner. As soon as she came back out, Louise was going to send her back in to change. She grabbed Tella’s backpack with all her extra clothes and blankets. She had no idea how Ty was going to react to any of this; she didn’t need to complicate the situation by having him find out that his daughter was a huge fan.

  “I think she had a really good time. I’ve not seen her that wound up in ages.” Palmer looked back at Louise. “Are you in some kind of rush?”

  “No. Uh uh.” Louise slammed the back door shut and stood at Ames’s window, which Ames had wound down. “I just didn’t want to hold you guys up. I know you have a bunch of work to do to make that bull feel at home.” She hoped it wasn’t obvious that she wanted them to leave, now.

  “We have a few minutes to talk to you.” Palmer shoved the truck in park and opened his door.

  Panic crawled up her throat, although she wasn’t even sure why. Ty was going to find out; she needed to accept that. But maybe she didn’t want an audience. No one, and she meant no one, knew who Tella’s father was. “You don’t have to.”

  She wasn’t ready. Maybe she’d never be ready. But she didn’t want to have to face everyone’s reactions at once. She couldn’t handle it if they all ganged up on her. And what about Tella? She didn’t need to see everyone’s reactions, either. It probably wasn’t going to be pretty, and Louise wanted to protect her daughter more than anything.