Cowboys Don't Have a Secret Baby

by Jessie Gussman

  “I can’t stay here,” he finally whispered.

  “No,” she agreed, but she didn’t move.

  He didn’t either.

  “I have to go.” He meant leave. His plane left this evening, and he should be on his way to the airport, but he didn’t want to leave Louise. “Training camp is busy. Coach made us keep our phones in the locker room last year. I might only be able to call you in the evening when I get back and the morning before I go. I know as soon as I get there I’ll get sucked into the busyness and everything, but I’ll call.”

  Taking a big, shaky breath, Louise rolled to her back, and he moved a little to give her room. Her face was red and blotchy, her eyes swollen, her cheeks wet.

  His entire being ached with her, but there was a little part of him that whispered she must feel something for him, since he could make her hurt like that.

  He moved until he had both hands holding her face. He lay half over her and tried not to notice how soft and good she felt beneath him but focused on her eyes. “Look at me.”

  Her eyes fluttered open.

  “I will call you. I promise.”

  A struggle went on in her eyes. He could almost see her jutting her chin out. “I believe you,” she whispered, and he knew it cost her. Her mind would want to protect her heart, keep it from being broken by an ignorant man again, but her heart wanted to trust again, and she allowed it to win the fight. He hadn’t deserved her trust the first time; he definitely didn’t deserve it again, even as her face was still ravaged from the crying she’d just done over him.

  He hesitated before he lowered his head, kissing her wet cheek as tenderly as he could. He had to be careful. Kissing Louise had never been an activity that was easy to stop.

  Once he kissed her cheek, he moved to her swollen eyes, trying to soothe her with his lips, not knowing any other way. He kissed one closed eye then the other. Soft kisses. Her other wet cheek. Wet from tears she’d cried because of him. He fluttered his way down her angled jaw, feeling the soft skin, knowing there was a strong woman with backbone and purpose under it. One who would support him despite the opposition of the whole town, if necessary. A woman strong enough to forgive his stupidity and give him another chance. If she weren’t, he wouldn’t be here on her bed now.

  His lips were on her neck, tasting the smooth skin there, when she moved a little, and her hand came out, sliding along his cheek with a sandpaper sound, loud next to his ear. His chest spasmed, and he squeezed his eyes closed against the urgent need to kiss her. Not yet. Instead, he trailed his lips up her neck and jaw, grabbing her earlobe and giving a light tug before moving across her cheekbone.

  Her breathing had shifted with his, both more shallow. Their hearts raced together.

  His lips moved to the tip of her nose, resting softly on it. Their eyes met and held. The air around them seemed to shimmer. His hands tingled, and he pushed them into her hair.

  Her head tilted just a little, and his lips hung suspended in the air before they landed, whisper soft, on hers. Their eyes held, although his lids lowered halfway of their own accord, and it felt like they were shooting heated darts.

  Her eyes flared as well, and her hand pulled on the back of his neck, urging him closer. He might have been able to win the battle with himself, but he couldn’t fight her, too.

  With a groan that felt like it had been torn from his soul, he angled his head and obeyed her unspoken command to be closer, meshing his lips with hers and kissing her the way he wanted to. The way he’d dreamed about. The way he remembered.

  Only the memories were a dim imitation to having the real Louise under him again, his lips on hers, his hands touching the actual woman, warm and soft. Everything he’d remembered and so much more.

  It took three seconds before the door bursting open and hitting the wall registered. Palmer’s angry shouting penetrated his haze-filled mind.

  His eyes met Louise’s startled ones before he was grabbed by both shoulders and yanked from her bed. He stumbled to a knee, reaching to see her around the bodies of her brothers.

  “Didn’t you learn anything from the last time?” Palmer shouted, his face red, his hands clenched.

  Ty didn’t bother to answer. The fact that he was in her room, kissing her, was answer enough. Even if that were the first kiss in nine years, it didn’t matter. If her brothers hadn’t shown up, he might not have stopped.

  Even now, his lips were still tingling, and all he wanted was to see her, touch her, and make sure she was okay.

  He leaned farther, his knee burning from his weight pushing it down into the old hardwood floor, but he needed to see that Louise was fine. Needed one last reassurance of looking into her eyes and making sure she didn’t regret what they’d just done, before her brothers dragged him away and kicked him out of their house.

  But Sawyer moved his body, and he couldn’t lean around. He tried the other direction, but Sawyer grabbed his shirt with both hands. “I think you’ve put her through enough.”

  Palmer grabbed his own handful of Ty’s shirt and shoved, pushing him out Louise’s door. “More than enough,” he growled.

  “Wait,” Louise cried, but Palmer slammed the door closed with the hand that wasn’t shoving Ty away, down the hall. He half-expected to be thrown down the stairs, too, and that was fine. He wasn’t going to fight Louise’s brothers, but he needed to see her. Just once. Just to make sure she didn’t think he was taking advantage of her with that kiss that he hadn’t planned on but had rocked everything in his world. Brought back all the memories of the best and worst night of his life.

  “Louise,” he yelled. He needed to make sure she was okay. He kept his eyes glued to her closed door as they shoved him down the hall.

  “Shut up,” one of the brothers said.

  Her door started to open. His heart leaped as her golden head came into view.

  Then Palmer grabbed him and jerked him around. “Watch where you’re going. I don’t want to have to deal with the heartbroken females in this house if you fall down the stairs and break your sorry neck.”

  Each brother had an arm and a handful of his shirt, and they shoved him until he was out of the house and into his car.

  “You know I’m coming back,” he finally said as he sat behind the wheel. Louise was nowhere in sight.

  “Do what you have to, but you grew up here, and you’ve not been away so long that you’ve forgotten it doesn’t work the same way here that it does in the city. Louise isn’t one of your one-night stands or a hookup or whatever the frig you’re calling it today.” Palmer’s face was still red, but his tone had modulated a decibel or two.

  Sawyer spoke in a more level tone, seeming more in control, but he didn’t fool Ty. If someone was going to deck him, it would have been the quiet brother. “She survived what you did to her the last time. And she’ll survive this, too. But if you love her, you’re not going to put her through that kind of pain again.”

  “I asked her to go with me.” His voice was rough with frustration.

  Palmer threw his arms in the air. “Oh, that’s just great. What an honor.” His voice lowered and became a growl. “You have a child together. She deserves a ring.”

  Ty closed his eyes. “I know.”

  “I think if you knew that, you wouldn’t have been in her room, lying on top of her. Get out of here,” Sawyer said, his eyes fierce and dark.

  Ty looked toward the house, but her brothers blocked his view. He’d call Louise on the way to the airport. In the meantime, at least he could say goodbye to Tella.

  Chapter 21

  Louise watched him pull out from the downstairs window. She knew her brothers were frustrated because they hadn’t “protected” her the last time, and they felt it was their job.

  It might have been nice if they’d asked her what she wanted before they threw Ty out, but she had to admit a part of her felt justified at what had just happened.

  Ty had escaped unscathed nine years ago. And, yeah, he’d endured a li
ttle teasing and a few insults from the town since they’d found out, but it was nothing like what she’d lived through. Not that she wanted him to suffer since she had suffered. Nothing like that.

  But to allow her brothers the privilege of throwing him out. Maybe she felt like it was okay.

  If Ty was serious about her, he’d call. If he wasn’t, if she didn’t hear from him, well, he’d better not come back into town thinking he was going to get a third chance with her.

  She had to let him see his daughter. She had no choice about that.

  But this was the test. He’d left before, promising to call and come back and see her, and it had been lies. He had the opportunity to prove himself now.

  She hoped he did, because she was really afraid she’d fallen for him. Again.

  Fallen for him to the point where she’d give up any hope of inheriting a billion dollars and leave the home and land that she loved to move herself and her daughter to the city just so she could be near him.

  ALL THE OTHER PASSENGERS were on the airplane and they were closing the door when Ty rushed into the boarding area. It wasn’t a huge airport, and thankfully he’d been able to skim through security.

  Unfortunately, he realized as he settled in his seat that he’d been in such a rush, so consumed with Louise and the feelings kissing her and leaving her had generated, that he’d never gotten his phone back from Tella.

  His head dropped back against the seat, and he cursed his stupidity. If he’d remembered five minutes earlier, he would have missed his plane looking through the airport shops to see if he could find one that sold phones.

  He’d pick one up in Pittsburgh as soon as he landed. He spent the flight itchy that he hadn’t been able to contact Louise and find out how she was doing. How she’d handled the scene with her brothers.

  He couldn’t believe that she’d changed her mind about him, but it did nag him a little that she hadn’t come to his defense, although he knew what her brothers had done to him was long overdue. Still, why didn’t she come out? Had she felt like he was taking advantage of her? Maybe she hadn’t been as overwhelmed by his kiss as he’d been by hers.

  He tried to remember. He was pretty sure she was enjoying it, but he’d been so crazed by her taste and touch and finally kissing the woman he loved, he really couldn’t say for sure.

  But one thing he could say for sure was he loved Louise. Nothing he’d ever felt for anyone else even compared. He needed to tell her. Even if she didn’t love him back, he wanted her to know how he felt. He should have told her before he left, instead of kissing her. Man, he was a dimwit sometimes.

  It was after midnight when his plane finally landed in Pittsburgh, and there were no shops open to get a phone.

  Training camp started at nine. He probably wouldn’t be able to get a phone before. But he could get one of the trainers to pick one up. He couldn’t leave the training facility, but they could.

  He walked into his condo which felt cold and unwelcoming and lonely. He made sure his equipment was in order, took a quick shower, and fell into bed, only to toss and turn, worrying about what Louise thought since he’d left and hadn’t called. His only consolation was that Tella must know that he didn’t have his phone since he’d given it to her. With that thought came another: Louise might actually have his phone, which was perfect. It somehow made him feel satisfied in his soul that she might be holding something of his right now. It made the silence and the distance between them a little easier to bear.

  He walked into training camp the next morning, and his mind most definitely was not on hockey.

  Duncan Ross was the first teammate he saw. “Hey, let me borrow your phone, man,” he said.

  Duncan’s eyebrows shot up. “Yeah, missed you too. Had a great off-season. Looking forward to the new season, and yep, maybe we can spend some extra time practicing,” he said sarcastically, but he fished in his pocket for his phone, turning it on and punching in his passcode before handing it over.

  Ty took the phone but almost immediately knew it was useless. “Crap.” He grabbed his head like it hurt and bent over. “Crap, crap, crap.”

  Duncan was joined by Bobby and Nicklas. “What is it, dude? You having a seizure or something?”

  “No.” He jerked the phone back at Duncan. “Frig it. I don’t know her frigging number. Or my mom’s or anyone’s. I just have them programmed.”

  “Her?” Bobby caught the word immediately.

  Something close to panic swirled in Ty’s chest. He answered absently, “Yeah.”

  “You fell in love over the off-season?” They laughed. “We’ll see if it lasts.” Nicklas smacked his shoulder. “Women want the glory, but they don’t want the sacrifice that goes with it.”

  “Shut up,” Ty said. He knew what Nicklas was saying, but that wasn’t Louise at all.

  “Just warning you, man. Never seen you with one that stuck, anyway. This one probably won’t be any different. Especially if you don’t call her for a day or two.” Bobby snickered like it was funny. “They see your picture, and they think you’re cheating.”

  Or that he’d left her again.

  He didn’t know what to do. He’d been planning on buying a new phone, but that wouldn’t solve his problem, either. He could have a hundred phones, but if he didn’t know her number... He knew his old house number, but his mom had turned it off. He didn’t know her cell number. Heck, he didn’t even know his own cell number.

  He was screwed.

  What was he going to do?

  He flipped Duncan’s phone end over end in his hand. The diner. He could call Patty. He brought the search app up and looked up “Sweet Water diner.” Towns in twenty different states came up. What was the exact name? He couldn’t remember. The panic and desperation fighting like a tempest inside him made it impossible to think. There had to be a way.

  More guys were coming in; it was almost nine, and leaving wasn’t an option. They filed into the meeting room, greeting each other after spending the summer apart. Seeing new faces. Not seeing some of the old ones.

  Usually he loved the first day of camp. He loved pushing himself. The challenge. For the last few years, he’d been considered a leader on the team, and that was even better. He loved being able to share his knowledge and experience with the other guys.

  They were told to put their phones away, and he pried his fingers off Duncan’s phone and handed it back.

  The day was misery. He actually ended up being reprimanded by the coach because he hadn’t been paying attention. So unprofessional. He’d never understood how some guys could come and not treat this like a serious job, putting in their all. But today, he got it. Louise was more important than even his job.

  He didn’t have any way of telling her that.

  After camp that evening, they had the opportunity to meet the fans who were watching, sign autographs, and answer questions. Usually Ty took his time, staying for hours as he chatted with little boys who had big dreams, just like he did once.

  But his heart wasn’t in it. He needed to go and get a phone, to figure something out.

  “You gotta get a hold of yourself, man,” Duncan said as Ty stood in the locker room, racking his brain, trying to come up with a way to get Louise’s number. “You’ve never been this tight. Is she really worth it?”

  As he stared unseeing into Duncan’s green eyes, he had an idea. “Hey, look up the number for my agent on your phone.”

  Duncan pulled his lip back but got his phone out and, after making sure of the name, looked it up.

  “Let me borrow your phone. I need to call him.”

  “Sure. Just don’t take too long. I get my kid for a couple hours tonight, and the ex gets mad if I’m late.”

  “Sure.” Ty registered his words but didn’t pay too much attention. The panic that stayed banked all day bubbled like lava in his chest.

  “Hello?” his agent, Dave Smith, answered.

  “Dave. Ty Hanson.”

  “Where have you been? I
’ve been trying to call you since yesterday afternoon. I have an offer I need you to look over...”

  “I need you to call my mother. I left home without my phone, and I need her to send it to me. Tell her to overnight it.”

  “Uh, yeah. I think I have her number. I can do that.”

  “Actually, have her send it to you. Get it to me as soon as it comes. Wherever I am.”

  “But Coach doesn’t allow phones during camp.”

  “This is an emergency.”

  “I’ll do what I can.” He cleared his throat. “About this offer. It’s a pretty good one.”

  Ty listened while Dave rattled off the figures. Any other time, he might have been amazed at the amount of money people were willing to offer him to play the game he loved. Used to love. It came in a far second to Louise and Tella.

  “Yeah. That’s fine.”

  “Don’t do anything stupid until I get the final details hammered out. I’ll have something for you to sign by the end of the week.” He made a funny sound. “I have to go. Got some kind of stomach bug...” He made another strangled sound. “It’s awful.”

  “I need my phone. Don’t forget.”

  “I won’t. Gotta go.” His last words came out strangled and stiff before the line cut off abruptly.

  Chapter 22

  Louise dragged herself into work on Monday afternoon. Ty hadn’t called. He hadn’t texted. This could be high school all over again.

  After the way he’d left her house on Sunday, she’d been almost sure he’d call her on the way to the airport or at least when he landed. Wouldn’t he know she’d worry that he’d made it safely?

  She tried to imagine the scenarios that would keep him from calling. Maybe his phone had died. Maybe he’d been busy getting his stuff ready for the season. Maybe he’d dropped his phone or lost it.

  But she couldn’t help remembering doing this exact same thing nine years ago when he’d left. Making excuses for him. Thinking the best. Holding on, even when it was obvious that he wasn’t ever going to call. Or come home to see her.