Leveled

by Jay Crownover

  That was what condition I thought my heart was going to be in after I lost Remy, but now the twinges it was having, the twitches it was displaying at the nearness of this man made me wonder if it, like Dom, had been injured and pushed too hard to heal before it was ready.

  Dom’s dark head bent down so that he was looking at the tips of his tennis shoes. He put his hands on his lean hips and I saw his wide shoulders hunch forward. He looked like he was suddenly being weighed down with the truth of how serious his situation was and that his natural-born fight may have been doing more harm than good.

  “I just want to get back to how I was.”

  I reached out a hand before I could stop myself and put it on his shoulder. His skin was warm, vital and throbbing with so much life under my fingertips. His head jerked up at the contact and our eyes locked. It felt like the most meaningful conversation I had ever had was happening even though no words were exchanged as we looked at each other.

  “There is no going back but there is accepting your new normal.” That was one of the hardest lessons I had had to learn along the way.

  Those massive shoulders went back, his army-green eyes gleamed at me, and I almost passed out when the full impact of the sexy grin he unleashed hit me.

  “I’ll accept that there might not be any going back, but there is going forward and from where I’m standing what’s in front of me is anything but normal.”

  He might be a bruiser and far more blunt in his manner and with his words than I was used to, but as we continued to watch each other I had to admit it was a nice change of pace to see the intensity of the things I was feeling reflected right back at me.

  There was nothing subtle or hidden about Dominic Voss and that forthrightness was irresistible and a balm to the hidden parts of me that were just as broken as his body was.

  Chapter 3

  Dominic

  I hurt all over.

  It was a different hurt than the searing and relentless pain that had taken up residence in my shoulder and leg since the accident, this was more of a constant ache, a heavy throb that lived deep in all of my muscles and reminded me every waking moment that there was still work to do. I always considered myself to be in excellent shape and worked hard to make sure that I could not only keep up with the bad guys but with all the other guys on the force. After spending a week getting my ass handed to me by Lando I understood that just being able to bench-press my own weight didn’t mean shit about being fit.

  He had me doing all kinds of things to build my strength back up and all kinds of things I had never done before to stretch the injured parts of my body out and build in new flexibility and elasticity I hadn’t even known I needed. I did everything he told me to do even when it felt like my joints were going to pop out of the sockets and even when it felt like my lungs were going to catch on fire and burn up. I couldn’t remember ever working as hard for anything in my life but the dull ache in my shoulder as I reached for the beer in front of me without a struggle or any kind of awkwardness reminded me that hard work and a little pain was indeed leading to results.

  I still had a slight limp but it wasn’t as noticeable and the mobility that I had gained back in my shoulder was mind-blowing considering the short amount of time I had spent with the sexy trainer. He pushed me hard and I in turn grumbled at him about it and flirted with him shamelessly, in part to keep my mind off of how hard the paces were that he was putting me through, but mostly because he was gorgeous and I found the way he ran hot and cold with me fascinating.

  He watched me the same way I watched him and occasionally when I tossed out an offhanded quip about our obvious attraction he would look like he was considering taking our relationship to a different level but he always shut it down and kept things coolly professional.

  “So why don’t you just ask him out?” Royal was sitting across from me in the bar I had asked her to meet me at for a drink after a particularly grueling round of therapy. She’d just gotten off of patrol and I could tell by the tight pull of her mouth and the shadows in her chocolate-colored eyes that it hadn’t been a great shift. I wanted to ask her what happened, but I honestly wasn’t sure I could handle the jealousy that would claw at me when she talked about doing the only thing I wanted to do.

  Royal was the best friend a guy could ever ask for and she knew me better than anyone, aside from my family. I didn’t have to go into details about the heady sexual tension that was pulsing between me and the handsome physical therapist: she could tell by all the things I wasn’t saying and by the frown that I couldn’t seem to shake.

  “Because I need his help more than I need to get laid, and I don’t want to offend him or make him uncomfortable if he’s flat-out not interested.” Even if he gave off very interested vibes when he thought I wasn’t paying attention.

  She made a face and pushed some of her long, auburn hair over her shoulder. What can I say? Redheads were my favorite, and she was the prettiest girl I had ever seen. I felt like I had been keeping her safe not only from overzealous boys but also from herself since the first moment we met. She always deserved more than to be just another pretty face and she worked hard to prove it. We were kindred spirits that way. No one had ever questioned my ability to do my job, but I never wanted to give them the chance to.

  “Well then, once you’re back to one hundred percent and back on the force, then you can ask him out and the worst that can happen is he can say no.”

  I grunted a response, because being rejected by Lando on a personal level really did seem like the worst thing that could happen, which was insane considering the reason I had him in my life in the first place.

  “I need to worry about getting my job back, not getting a date.” I lifted an eyebrow at her as she smiled a little sadly at me. “I miss it. I miss you. How’s the new partner working out?”

  She sat back in the seat across from me and fiddled with the label on her drink. Her dark brown eyes shifted to the tabletop and I saw her bite on her lip. I blinked a little and scolded myself for asking something I didn’t really want to know the answer to in the first place. Life went on whether I wanted it to or not and I could tell by her almost guilty expression that Royal was enjoying being on patrol with a cop that was not me.

  “It’s good. He’s good. It’s different working with someone that hasn’t known me since I was five, but I miss you, too, Dom, and I want you back at work as soon as possible.”

  I copied her pose and lifted a hand to rub it over the top of my short hair in frustration. “You want me back, but you don’t want to be my partner anymore, do you?”

  She flushed and tapped her fingers nervously on the side of her beer bottle. Royal was my best friend in the entire world and I would do anything for her, even if it meant letting her go.

  “When you fell off that building and I thought I was watching you die right in front of me it was the worst thing that had ever happened to me. I couldn’t be a cop in that moment because I was so worried about you and I couldn’t be a good cop after, because I was convinced it was my fault you got hurt. I don’t think about the new guy that way. He’s my partner, I have his back, we’re a team, but I don’t feel like my life is going to be over if something bad happens to him. Does that make sense?”

  I grunted again and finished the rest of my beer. It wasn’t what I wanted to hear, but it made sense. “There are no guarantees I’m going to be deemed fit enough for duty anyways. I want you to be the best cop you can be even if it’s partnered with someone that isn’t me. I’ve always wanted what is best for you, Royal.”

  She bit down on her lip even harder and lowered her head, but not before I saw a sheen of tears flash over the surface of her dark eyes. “You will be back, Dom. I know you will.”

  It was depressing to think about any other option, so I changed the subject with all the subtlety of a bulldozer. “How are things going with your southern charmer?”

  I wasn’t the biggest fan of Royal’s new boyfriend and it wasn’t
just because the guy had a criminal record and a smile that could charm the pants off of even the most jaded of hearts. I couldn’t trust a guy who was that pretty and that smooth. I honestly believed he cared about Royal, but he had already broken her heart once and that was pretty much impossible to come back from in my book. I tried to play nice because I knew she was a goner for the guy and he was it for her, but generally I just stayed away and stayed out of their relationship. I knew Royal was hoping I would warm up to Asa eventually, but I didn’t see it happening anytime soon.

  A smile made her already stunning face truly beautiful in the way only love could. “Things are good. I wasn’t sure how moving in together so quickly was going to work out, but so far so good.” She laughed a little. “Plus he always comes to get me when I lock myself out of places and never complains. That automatically makes him a keeper in my book.”

  She was happy. Really, truly happy and more than that she was settling into the person she had always struggled to be. There was no more doubt about the choices she had made and the path she was on. Royal was owning the things that had always made her so special and unique and I couldn’t be happier for her.

  I was about to tell her as much when a tall familiar figure suddenly cut through the crowd at the bar. I shouldn’t have been surprised to see him here considering the bar I picked was close to the gym, so I didn’t have to go far after my therapy session, but it was still startling to see him outside of the serious and professional setting I was used to spending time with him in. I let my eyes roll over him as he caught sight of me and faltered a little. Instead of being dressed in his typical polo shirt and pressed slacks he had on a pair of track pants similar to mine and a white tank top. His rust-colored hair was tousled on the top of his head and if I had to wager a guess, I would bet he had just come from doing a workout of his own.

  I watched the indecision flash across his pale eyes before he veered off and made his way over to where I was sitting. He stopped by the edge of the table and dipped his chin down in a slight nod. I couldn’t keep my gaze off of the smattering of freckles that dotted the tops of his strong-looking shoulders and that danced along the curve of his toned biceps.

  “Hey.”

  I motioned to Royal, who was looking between the two of us in an almost comical fashion, and introduced them. “Orlando Frederick, this is my best friend, Royal Hastings. She also used to be my partner on the force.”

  She stuck out a hand and gave the other man a cheesy grin as he shook it. I wanted to kick her but figured that would be too obvious.

  “I’m so happy you agreed to help him. We can’t wait to put him back to work.” She looked at me and blinked too-wide eyes in an overtly obvious manner. “It was so nice to meet you, but I have to run. I’m supposed to meet my man for dinner,” she slipped off the stool and winked at me. “And dessert. Keep up the good work and I’ll be in touch.”

  Before I could stop her, she was gone and Lando had slipped into her empty seat. A waitress came by and he ordered a vodka and tonic and another beer for me.

  “She’s adorable.” It was pretty safe as far as small talk went and Royal was one of my favorite subjects.

  “She is and she knows it. She’s actually the one that got me the referral to get in and meet with you. Her boyfriend works with someone that pulled the strings.”

  He crossed his arms and leaned forward a little bit on the table and I told myself not to drool or say anything stupid as I watched his muscles tense and flex with the motion.

  “Rome Archer.” His eyebrows pulled down slightly and his denim-colored eyes flashed with something that looked very lost and sad. “There isn’t much I wouldn’t do for the Archers.”

  I didn’t know most of the people that Royal had been spending time with since my injury and since getting involved with Asa, but I did know they seemed like a good group of people and they took care of my girl for me when I wasn’t able to.

  I shrugged. “I don’t know him, but I’m grateful he put in a good word for me.”

  Lando nodded and we lapsed into an awkward silence while we waited for the drinks to arrive. When the waitress put the rocks glass down in front of him, he ran a finger around the rim of it and looked at me from under his eyelashes.

  “I’m not really much of a drinker, but it’s been a long week.” I didn’t know him well, but I could distinctly hear a hint of accusation in his tone.

  I picked up my beer and narrowed my eyes at him. “Why is that?” I was the one with the sore muscles and burning tendons. I should be the one drinking for the strength to keep going, not him.

  He picked his drink up and finished it all in one healthy swallow. He set the rocks glass down and stood up to dig his wallet out of his pocket. He tossed some money on the table and took a few steps so that he was standing at my elbow. I looked up at him as he bent his head down just enough that he could speak directly into my ear. A full body shiver worked its way across my skin as his voice rasped, “You are distractingly good-looking, Dominic, but I don’t date my clients, and I don’t think I could ever get involved with a cop.”

  I was too stunned to react for a moment and in those few seconds he managed to push away from the table and make his way towards the door. By the time I managed to fumble my own wallet out of my back pocket and pay for my own drinks, he was out the door, but I was used to chasing down my prey even if I wasn’t as fast as I used to be. I caught up to him in the parking lot of the clinic as he was approaching a sleek-looking sports car.

  I put a hand on his shoulder and was already tearing into him before he turned fully around to face me.

  “I don’t know what I find more insulting, the fact that you just assume I want to date you or the fact that I’m a cop somehow makes me beneath you. You have a lot of nerve Mr. Fancy-Pants, a lot of nerve and a lot of ego.”

  I was pissed and offended. I was also hurt and a little bit embarrassed. I didn’t like anything about it. Sure the guy was ridiculously attractive and I had never been drawn to anyone the way I was instantly drawn to him, but that didn’t mean I was asking him to move in together and get married. A little harmless flirting and some innocent eye-fucking shouldn’t have landed me in the shame corner and I wanted him to know it. I was opening my mouth to finish giving him a piece of my mind when I was cut off by hard hands on either of my shoulders pushing me backwards into the side of the car behind me.

  I grunted at the contact and at the surprise of chilly metal against my back while my front was suddenly pressed all along a rigid and hard male body.

  He might look distinguished and fancy, but he kissed rough and dirty. His hands were hard on my shoulders as he leaned into me and held me in place while his mouth moved over mine. I put a hand on the lean curve of his waist and met him move for move because I’d kissed plenty of boys in my time but never one that made my head spin to the point that it made me forget where I was.

  His lips were soft, but there was hard passion behind them. He kissed me like he was angry that he wanted to kiss me, but I wasn’t going to complain about being handled like that. I liked the abrasion, liked the almost desperate way he held on to me, and I liked that he felt as solid and heavy as I did as we continued to press closer and closer together. I offered zero resistance when the tip of his tongue brushed across the seam of my lips. I let him in, in fact, I couldn’t wait to let him in and get him closer. I tugged on his waist until we were hip to hip and I felt him take in the heated gasp that escaped when I felt his arousal press against my own.

  His skin was soft, almost baby smooth as our faces touched, and I found the contrast between that softness and the hardness of the rest of him alluring and exciting. His muscles were tense and hard, but they felt like they were encased in velvet and silk. I wanted to know if the rest of him felt the same way.

  One of his hands slid around the back of my skull and he pulled me even closer still as he continued to devour my mouth like it was the only opportunity he was ever going to have to act o
n his baser impulses. I was getting ready to put a hand under the hem of his tank that had ridden up just a little over a set of abs that I wanted to touch and was slightly envious of when a loud beep from one of the cars next to us startled us apart.

  We were both breathing heavy and watched each other with wary eyes as we put some space between us. Lando blew out a deep breath and shoved both of his hands through his already messy hair. His pale eyes were serious as he told me, “You won’t be my client forever, Dom, but you will be a cop for the foreseeable future. I already lost someone I cared about and I barely came back from the pain of that. I’m not a strong enough man to care about someone that purposely puts themselves at risk … even if you are more than tempting.”

  I leaned back against the car he had just ravaged me against and watched him silently while he slipped behind the wheel of his sports car and pulled out of the spot.

  Huh … that was interesting, to say the least, and even though we had only known each other for a week, he had to know I was the kind of guy that thrived on a challenge and on overcoming obstacles. Besides, our entire relationship was based on healing and it was starting to look like I wasn’t the only one with wounds that needed some attention.

  Chapter 4

  Lando

  I was hoping the rhythmic pounding of my feet on the treadmill and sound of weights clanking together would be enough to drown out the endless lecture about common sense and impulse control I had been giving myself since I lost my damn mind and kissed Dom. The “what were you thinking” was colliding against the “when can we do that again and again and again” in a symphony of noise and emotion that was so loud and overwhelming I just wanted to hide from it all.