The Duchess of Malfi
Page 46
Weep eyes, break heart!
My love and I must part.
MAUD. O, I could die with music!—Well sung, girl.
MOLL. If you call’t so, it was.
YEL. She plays the swan,
And sings herself to death.
Enter Touchwood senior
TOUCH. SEN. By your leave, sir.
YEL. What are you, sir? or what’s your business, pray?
TOUCH. SEN. I may be now admitted, though the brother
Of him your hate pursued: it spreads no further.
Your malice sets in death, does it not, sir?
YEL. In death?
TOUCH. SEN. He’s dead: ’twas a dear love to him,
It cost him but his life, that was all, sir;
He paid enough, poor gentleman, for his love.
YEL. [Aside] There’s all our ill removed, if she were well now.—
Impute not, sir, his end to any hate
That sprung from us; he had a fair wound brought that.
TOUCH. SEN. That helped him forward, I must needs confess;
But the restraint of love, and your unkindness,
Those were the wounds that from his heart drew blood;
But being past help, let words forget it too:
Scarcely three minutes ere his eyelids closed,
And took eternal leave of this world’s light,
He wrote this letter, which by oath he bound me
To give to her own hands; that’s all my business.
YEL. You may perform it then; there she sits.
TOUCH. SEN. O, with a following look!
YEL. Ay, trust me, sir,
I think she’ll follow him quickly.
TOUCH. SEN. Here’s some gold
He willed me to distribute faithfully
Amongst your servants.
[Gives gold to Servants]
YEL. ’Las, what doth he mean, sir?
TOUCH. SEN. How cheer you, mistress?
MOLL. I must learn of you, sir.
TOUCH. SEN. Here is a letter from a friend of yours,
[Giving letter to Moll]
And where that fails in satisfaction,
I have a sad tongue ready to supply.
MOLL. How does he, ere I look on’t?
TOUCH. SEN. Seldom better;
Has a contented health now.
MOLL. I’m most glad on’t.
MAUD. Dead, sir?
YEL. He is: now, wife, let’s but get the girl
Upon her legs again, and to church roundly with her.
MOLL. O, sick to death, he tells me: how does he after this?
TOUCH. SEN. Faith, feels no pain at all; he’s dead, sweet mistress.
MOLL. Peace close mine eyes!
[Swoons]
YEL. The girl! look to the girl, wife!
MAUD. Moll, daughter, sweet girl, speak! look but once up,
Thou shalt have all the wishes of thy heart
That wealth can purchase!
YEL. O, she’s gone for ever!
That letter broke her heart.
TOUCH. SEN. As good now then
As let her lie in torment, and then break it.
Enter Susan
MAUD. O Susan, she thou lovedst so dear is gone!
SUSAN. O sweet maid!
TOUCH. SEN. This is she that helped her still.—
I’ve a reward here for thee.
YEL. Take her in,
Remove her from my sight, our shame and sorrow.
TOUCH. SEN. Stay, let me help thee, ’tis the last cold kindness
I can perform for my sweet brother’s sake.
Exeunt Touchwood senior, Susan, and Servants, carrying out Moll
YEL. All the whole street will hate us, and the world
Point me out cruel: it’s our best course, wife,
After we’ve given order for the funeral,
T’ absent ourselves till she be laid in ground.
MAUD. Where shall we spend that time!
YEL. I’ll tell thee where, wench:
Go to some private church, and marry Tim
To the rich Brecknock gentlewoman.
MAUD. Mass, a match;
We’ll not lose all at once, somewhat we’ll catch.
Exeunt
SCENE III
Enter Sir Oliver Kix and Servants
SIR OL. Ho, my wife’s quickened; I’m a man for ever!
I think I have bestirred my stumps, i’faith.
Run, get your fellows all together instantly,
Then to the parish church and ring the bells.
1ST SER. It shall be done, sir.
Exit
SIR OL. Upon my love
I charge you, villain, that you make a bonfire
Before the door at night.
2ND SER. A bonfire, sir?
SIR OL. A thwacking one, I charge you.
2ND SER. [Aside] This is monstrous.
Exit
SIR OL. Run, tell148 a hundred pound out for the gentleman
That gave my wife the drink, the first thing you do.
3RD SER. A hundred pounds, sir?
SIR OL. A bargain: as our joy grows,
We must remember still from whence it flows,
Or else we prove ungrateful multipliers:
Exit 3rd Servant
The child is coming, and the land comes after;
The news of this will make a poor Sir Walter:
I’ve struck it home, i’faith.
4TH SER. That you have, marry, sir;
But will not your worship go to the funeral
Of both these lovers?
SIR OL. Both? go both together?
4TH SER. Ay, sir, the gentleman’s brother will have it so:
’Twill be the pitifull’st sight! there is such running,
Such rumors, and such throngs, a pair of lovers
Had never more spectators, more men’s pities,
Or women’s wet eyes.
SIR OL. My wife helps the number then.
4TH SER. There is such drawing out of handkerchers;
And those that have no handkerchers lift up aprons.
SIR OL. Her parents may have joyful hearts at this:
I would not have my cruelty so talked on
To any child of mine for a monopoly.
4TH SER. I believe you, sir.
’Tis cast149 so, too, that both their coffins meet,
Which will be lamentable.
SIR OL. Come, we’ll see’t.
Exeunt
SCENE IV
Recorder dolefully playing, enter at one door the coffin of Touchwood junior, solemnly decked, his sword upon it, attended by many gentlemen in black, among whom are Sir Oliver Kix, Allwit, and Parson, Touchwood senior being the chief mourner: at the other door the coffin of Moll, adorned with a garland of flowers, and epitaphs pinned on it, attended by many matrons and maids, among whom are Lady Kix, Mistress Allwit, and Susan; the coffins are set down, one right over against the other; and while all the company seem to weep and mourn, there is a sad song in the music-room
TOUCH. SEN. Never could death boast of a richer prize
From the first parent;150 let the world bring forth
A pair of truer hearts. To speak but truth
Of this departed gentleman, in a brother
Might, by hard censure, be called flattery,
Which makes me rather silent in his right
Than so to be delivered to the thoughts
Of any envious hearer, starved in virtue,
And therefore pining to hear others thrive;
But for this maid, whom envy cannot hurt
With all her poisons, having left to ages
The true, chaste monument of her living name,
Which no time can deface, I say of her
The full truth freely, without fear of censure:
What nature could there shrine, that might redeem
Perfection home to woman, but in her
Was fully glo
rious? beauty set in goodness
Speaks what she was; that jewel so infixed,
There was no want of anything of life
To make these virtuous precedents151 man and wife,
ALLWIT. Great pity of their deaths!
1ST MOUR. Never more pity!
LADY KIX. It makes a hundred weeping eyes, sweet gossip.
TOUCH. SEN. I cannot think there’s any one amongst you
In this full fair assembly, maid, man, or wife,
Whose heart would not have sprung with joy and gladness
To have seen their marriage-day.
2ND MOUR. It would have made
A thousand joyful hearts.
TOUCH. SEN. Up then apace,
And take your fortunes, make these joyful hearts;
Here’s none but friends.
Moll and Touchwood junior rise out of their coffins
ALL. Alive, sir? O sweet, dear couple!
TOUCH. SEN. Nay, do not hinder ’em now, stand from about ’em;
If she be caught again, and have this time,
I’ll ne’er plot further for ’em, nor this honest chambermaid,
That helped all at a push.152
TOUCH. JUN. Good sir, apace.
PAR. Hands join now, but hearts for ever,
[Moll and Touchwood junior join hands]
Which no parent’s mood shall sever.
You shall forsake all widows, wives, and maids—
You lords, knights, gentlemen, and men of trades;—
And if in haste any article misses,
Go interline it with a brace of kisses.
TOUCH. SEN. Here’s a thing trolled nimbly.—Give you joy, brother;
Were’t not better thou shouldst have her than the maid should die?
MIS. ALL. To you, sweet mistress bride.
ALL. Joy, joy to you both.
TOUCH. SEN. Here be your wedding-sheets you brought along with you;
You may both go to bed when you please too.
TOUCH. JUN. My joy wants utterance.
TOUCH. SEN. Utter all at night
Then, brother.
MOLL. I am silent with delight.
TOUCH. SEN. Sister, delight will silence any woman;
But you’ll find your tongue again ’mong maid servants,
Now you keep house, sister.
2ND MOUR. Never was hour so filled with joy and wonder.
TOUCH. SEN. To tell you the full story of this chambermaid,
And of her kindness in this business to us,
’Twould ask an hour’s discourse; in brief, ’twas she
That wrought it to this purpose cunningly.
3RD MOUR. We shall all love her for’t.
4TH MOUR. See, who comes here now
Enter Yellowhammer and Maudlin
TOUCH. SEN. A storm, a storm! but we are sheltered for it.
YEL. I will prevent153 you all, and mock you thus,
You and your expectations; I stand happy,
Both in your lives, and your hearts’ combination.
TOUCH. SEN. Here’s a strange day again!
YEL. The knight’s proved villain;
All’s come out now, his niece an arrant baggage;
My poor boy Tim is cast away this morning,
Even before breakfast, married a whore
Next to his heart.
MOURNERS. A whore!
YEL. His niece, forsooth.
ALLWIT. I think we rid our hands in good time of him.
MIS. ALL. I knew he was past the best when I gave him over,—
What is become of him, pray, sir?
YEL. Who, the knight?
He lies i’ th’ Knight’s ward;154—now your belly, lady,
[To Lady Kix]
Begins to blossom, there’s no peace for him,
His creditors are so greedy.
SIR OL. Master Touchwood,
Hear’st thou this news? I’m so endeared to thee
For my wife’s fruitfulness, that I charge you both,
Your wife and thee, to live no more asunder
For the world’s frowns; I’ve purse, and bed, and board for you:
Be not afraid to go to your business roundly;
Get children, and I’ll keep them.
TOUCH. SEN. Say you so, sir?
SIR OL. Prove me with three at a birth, an thou dar’st now.
TOUCH. SEN. Take heed how you dare a man, while you live, sir,
That has good skill at his weapon.
SIR OL. ’Foot, I dare you, sir!
Enter Tim, Welshwoman, and Tutor
YEL. Look, gentlemen, if e’er you saw the picture
Of the unfortunate marriage, yonder ’tis.
WELSH. Nay, good sweet Tim—
TIM. Come from the university
To marry a whore in London, with my tutor too!
O tempora! O mores!155
TUTOR. Prithee, Tim, be patient.
TIM. I bought a jade156 at Cambridge;
I’ll let her out to execution,157 tutor,
For eighteenpence a-day, or Brainford horse-races;
She’ll serve to carry seven miles out of town well.
Where be these mountains? I was promised mountains
But there’s such a mist, I can see none of ’em.
What are become of those two thousand runts?
Let’s have a bout with them in the meantime;
A vengeance runt thee!
MAUD. Good sweet Tim, have patience.
TIM. Flectere si nequeo superos, Acheronta movebo, mother.158
MAUD. I think you have married her in logic, Tim.
You told me once by logic you would prove
A whore an honest woman; prove her so, Tim,
And take her for thy labor.
TIM. Troth, I thank you:
I grant you, I may prove another man’s wife so,
But not mine own.
MAUD. There’s no remedy now, Tim;
You must prove her so as well as you may.
TIM. Why then
My tutor and I will about her as well as we can:
Uxor non est meretrix ergo falleris.159
WELSH. Sir, if your logic cannot prove me honest,
There’s a thing called marriage, and that makes me honest.
MAUD. O, there’s a trick beyond your logic, Tim!
TIM. I perceive then a woman may be honest
According to the English print, when she’s
A whore in the Latin; so much for marriage and logic:
I’ll love her for her wit, I’ll pick out my runts there;
And for my mountains, I’ll mount upon 160
YEL. So fortune seldom deals two marriages
With one hand, and both lucky; the best is,
One feast will serve them both: marry, for room,
I’ll have the dinner kept in Goldsmith’s Hall,
To which, kind gallants, I invite you all.
Exeunt
APPENDIX TO
A CHASTE MAID IN CHEAPSIDE
ACT IV; OPENING
TIM. Your proof is denied, tutor.
TUTOR. I prove to you, pupil, that a fool is not a rational animal.
TIM. You will certainly fail.
TUTOR. Please be silent. I show you—
TIM. How do you prove it, master?
TUTOR. A fool does not have reason, therefore is not a rational animal.
TIM. So you argue, master; a fool does not have reason and is therefore not a rational animal. Your proof is denied again, tutor.
TUTOR. Once more I prove it to you, sir: he who does not share in reason can in no way be called rational; but a fool does not share in reason, therefore the fool can in no way be termed rational.
TIM. He does share in reason.
TUTOR. So you maintain. Who shares in it, and how?
TIM. AS a man. I will prove this to you by a syllogism.
TUTOR. Prove it.
TIM. I prove it thus, master. A fool
is a man, just as you and I are; a man is a rational animal; so a fool is a rational animal.
TUTOR. Thus you argue: a fool is a man, just as you and I are; a man is a rational animal; so a fool is a rational animal.
1. Small keyboard instrument.
2. Adolescent melancholy in girls.
3. Aromatic herb used in salads.
4. Caliber.
5. Flaws.
6. Coarse.
7. Rich students.
8. The Cambridge carrier, for whom Milton wrote an epitaph.
9. To both my dear, loving parents, my father and mother.
10. Sixpence.
11. I love greatly.
12. Business.
13. God keep you (Welsh).
14. The mark was worth 13s. 4d (two thirds of a pound).
15. i.e., Of the tradesman class.
16. Words of substantial bourgeois worth.
17. Peak, grow meager.
18. Some lines referring to Tim seem to have been omitted. Perhaps the correct reading is “O Tim, sir, Tim.”
19. The original reads only “being.”
20. Deep in my pocket (with an innuendo).
21. Revels.
22. Complaisant cuckold.
23. Where articles of finery were sold.
24. The Royal Exchange.
25. Casks.
26. Cost.
27. The argument is denied.
28. i.e., Put on your hat.
29. A corruption of “good evening.”
30. Bows.
31. We can’t go on like this.
32. The card game.
33. Royal journey
34. A spring-lock to a gun.
35. Outside.
36. An allusion to the carting of prostitutes.
37. Common informers.
38. Sorrow.
39. The worth of a mark.
40. i.e., I cannot help it.
41. Houses for the correction of prostitutes.
42. Hospitals treating venereal diseases.
43. For want of an heir the properties go to Sir Walter.
44. Christening.
45. August 23.
46. i.e., Suppose.
47. A corruption of Christian.
48. Godparents.
49. Mind your own business (?).
50. Informers.
51. Corpses.
52. Lamb’s testicles.
53. A cant term for hands.
54. A double chin was regarded as the distinguishing mark of a bawd.
55. A part of the intestines.
56. A term of contempt.
57. A street in Clerkenwell noted as the residence of thieves and prostitutes.
58. Blood-stained cuff.
59. Inn at Queenhithe.
60. Beginning of flood tide.
61. Brentford.