Jay (Castle Ink Book 2)

by Amy Davies

  “That is Dex all over. But he loves you both and he would do anything for you.”

  “Yeah, he would. Took him long enough.” She winks at me. I shake my head and pull up outside Castle Ink. This place makes my chest swell with pride. It took us years to get where we wanted to be, but we took that big risk and it’s paying off. I turn the car off and jump out. I quickly get Phoebe out of the car, leaving Addy to get her bag. Phoebe is cradled against my chest as we walk into the studio. Dex is standing by the reception desk, talking to the bubble twins that I have to work on today. He looks up when he hears the door open. His smile spreads across his face and he walks towards us.

  “How’s my baby girl?” He looks at Phoebe, and it’s as if she senses him or recognises his voice as she stirs in my arms. I never would have thought that Dex would get to be a father. But seeing him now with Phoebe in his arms, seeing the smile on his face, makes me think that in time we will all get to where we need to be. After Fiona died, none of us thought Dex would find himself again. But look at him now, holding his daughter while his girlfriend watches with a huge, beautiful smile on her face. I always knew that he would let his heart open up to Addy. Unfortunately, it took a long fucking time and plenty of heartbreaking moments for them to get together, to be able to share their loving smiles with the precious little girl they made. I want what they have. Someday I will get it, though maybe not anytime soon, because the girl I have feelings for has none for me. Rachel is stringing me along and like the muppet I am, I’m letting her do it.

  “Jaaaaaay,” the high-pitched, whiney voice snaps me out of my thoughts. Fucking shit, I forgot about the bubble twins. I shake my head at my brother as he smirks at me over Phoebe’s head. Fucker. I plaster a fake smile on my face and turn to see them both standing there, looking like a mirror image of each other. Everything - and I mean everything - matches. It is weird as fuck.

  “Girls. So, what are we doing today?” I ask.

  “Weeell, we want a unicorn on our hip. Both exactly the same. Like us,” she says cheerfully. Grating. Nerves. Heaven help me. I hear Dex and Addy chuckle behind me. I turn my head to look at them and Addy coughs to hide her laughter.

  “I will remember this.” I scowl at them. “Okay, let’s go to my room and get this started.” I turn and walk away, not waiting for their response, not waiting to see if they follow me. I walk past Luke and the fucker has the gall to smile at me. “Oh, I will remember this, too. Prick,” I promise him as I walk towards my room. The annoying clacking of the girls’ heels follow behind me, but not as annoying as Luke’s laughter filling the room. I need to find a way to get back at him.

  Something that will be the cockblock of the decade.

  That will piss him the hell off.

  Oh yes. IT. IS. ON.

  I push open the door to the room that will trap me with the bubble twins for about an hour or more. Their giggles fill my room and I groan to myself. This is going to be the longest hour of my life.

  rachel

  I check my phone for the hundredth time, but the screen is still blank. Nothing. No calls or texts from Jay. It has been two weeks since I walked out of his place. The last thing I told him was to call me when he grew up, but he hasn’t called, and I hate how I’m feeling. I hate him for making me feel like this. Why the hell couldn’t he just leave things the way they were? We shagged and that was it. I can’t give him more, even though I know that’s what he wants. It just isn’t in me. I fucking love my life - I love the freedom. I work my arse off, so I have the right to party hard. But Jay’s doesn’t want that, he wants to settle down and have what Penny and Liam has. And what his brother, Dex, has with Addy. I don’t ever see myself as a mum. Don’t get me wrong, I love Penny’s kids, but Penny is a perfect mother to them, even though Knox isn’t hers by blood.

  I will leave the motherly shit to her.

  I never had a mother growing up, or a father for that matter. My parents left when I was eleven and they didn’t look back. They wanted the freedom to do whatever the fuck they wished, and their plans didn’t include a small child. I was dumped off at my aunt and uncle's house. They took me in but I never really felt a part of the family. I did my own thing growing up, stuck to myself most of my teenage life. I did great in school and then when I got to college. I knew from a young age that I wanted to help people, and my parents leaving me pushed me even harder. They made me feel unwanted. Not good enough. So, I decided I would help people. That is why I became a pediatrician. I fucking love my job, but I hate it at the same time.

  To see children that can’t get better is heartbreaking. It’s another reason why I can’t ever have children. The pain would be way too much to cope with, and I never want to feel like that. I’ve had enough people leave me, so why set myself up for more heartbreak.

  My parents left me. Jodi fucking died and left me. My first and second boyfriends left me for other women. So honestly, what was the point? I see what Penny has with Liam and the kids, and my heart aches a little for what they have, but then my senses come back to me and I see the heartache in the future. I try not to, but I can’t stop my head and heart battling with each other.

  “Doctor Cullen.” Someone calls my name, pulling me from my thoughts. I snap my head to the direction of the voice and see Nurse Carol walking closer to me. I smile at her and wait for her to reach me.

  “Hey, you looked deep in thought. Are you okay?” she asks me, concern lacing her voice.

  “Yeah, I’m good. Just thinking about Lacey in room five,” I explain. She doesn't need to know the thoughts in my head. Lacey is a sweet girl who came in for a liver transplant. She’s doing better these days and her body is accepting the liver perfectly. It was touch and go for a while before the operation.

  “She was looking good this morning. So, do you have plans for tonight?” she casually asks, while writing in a patient's notes. I do have plans. I plan on going home and getting all dolled up, then hitting the town to get some guy to take me home and make me forget.

  “Nope. No plans at all. Catch you tomorrow, Carol,” I say and walk away. Once I get to the staff lounge, I push the door open and walk over to my locker. Picking up my handbag, I quickly shut my locker and then make my way off the ward. My car sits in my allocated spot, so it’s easy and quick to get to.

  The drive home takes me thirty minutes on a good day, which today is, thank God. Pulling up outside my house, I see Penny and baby Isla waiting for me. I can’t keep the smile from forming on my face. I love this girl and her kids. Connie, Knox, and Isla mean the world to me, but I couldn’t see myself as a mother. I don’t think I will ever settle down. The thought of Jay not being in my life makes my chest ache a little, but not enough to make me change my ways.

  “Hey, ladies,” I greet them.

  “Hey, girl. How was work?” Penny asks. I take Isla’s bag off her shoulder and we walk up to my front door. Once I unlock it, we walk into my living room. Penny sits on the sofa with Isla in her lap. She is getting so big. This is the point where any woman would get all baby-broody, seeing a new mum and baby interacting, but me...nothing. This is why I like to keep men at arm’s length and in an easy routine. They get to shag me however they want, and we both get what we need. This thing with Jay was an attempt to see if I could handle more, and believe me I tried, but I simply can’t do it. I see how everyone around me handles their relationships, and I feel no yearning to be a part of a couple. But for some strange reason, my body needs a man’s touch, it craves Jay Castle’s body. That man can do amazing things with his dick and his tongue, and my body loved it – it’s the only reason I stay.

  “Work was the same. We have a darling little girl who is doing amazing with her liver transplant. I’m so happy for her and her family. It was touch and go for a bit but then she started responding really well.” I smile at her as I take my shoes off.

  “That’s great news, Rach. I hate it when the children get ill. It isn’t fair.” Bless her heart. Penny was always the soft
one of our group. “It would break my heart doing what you do every day.” She leans in and kisses the top of Isla’s head.

  “So, what did you pop over for? Any reason?” I have no clue why I asked, because I know why she’s here. Jay tells his brother, Dex, and best friend, Liam, everything. They’re like a group of old ladies at coffee morning.

  “Leave it, Pen. He hasn’t called me, either, so there isn’t any reason to hash this out, okay.”

  “You two need to have your heads banged together. When are you going to see what a good bloke you have right in front of you?”

  “Leave it. Listen, I have plans tonight with some girls from work and I need a shower. So…” I leave the sentence hanging. Her face flashes disappointment and something else I can’t place. I hate that I need to make her leave, but I can’t handle talking about my so-called relationship with Jay. She has her perfect fucking life, and she can keep it. It isn’t for me. Penny and I haven’t been out since before she got pregnant. With Liam now in her life she is always wrapped around him. I don’t hate her for what she’s got, though maybe I get jealous from time to time, but my head quickly kicks in and stamps that feeling down.

  “Fine.” She stands and adjusts Isla on her shoulder and walks towards me. She scoops up the baby’s bag on her way and heads for the door. The thing with Penny is that she’s a silent firecracker, always has been. “We’ll get out of your hair, then. I hope you know what you’re doing, Rachel Cullen.” She shakes her head at me and walks out the front door. My heart sinks at the thought of Penny being disappointed in me. She’s gotten more motherly over everyone in the group since she had Isla, a proper mother-hen. Penny has always known how to hurt you with words. I shake off the feelings she’s left me with and walk into my bathroom to get showered and ready for a night out. I need a drink - or five.

  * * *

  The club is loud and packed tonight. I’ve been here a few times but it has never been this full before. I walk over to the bar, making sure I sway my hips just that little bit extra. You never know who’s watching. I lean over the bar and get the attention of the very hot man serving drinks. The red dress I’m wearing makes sure everyone gets an eyeful of my breasts. He sees me and walks over, the smile on his face and the drop of his eyes tells me I wore the right dress tonight.

  He leans in and asks, “What can I get you, sweetheart?”

  I lick my lips, and give him his answer, “Rum and coke, please.”

  “Coming right up.” He turns and starts to make my drink. I’ve never been a beer or lager girl. I drink wine from time to time, but rum and coke is my poison. I feel heat to my left while watching the barman make my drink. I turn my head and see a very sexy man standing next to me. He towers over me. His blonde hair is trimmed short on the sides, with a little length on top. I lick my lips again and move back a little, surveying his body in the shirt and trousers he’s wearing. The shirt is pulled tight across his arms and shoulders - he’s bigger than Jay. Fucking hell, I need to stop thinking about him. The man in front of me smirks when he sees that I’m checking him out.

  “What’s your name?” he asks, bringing his mouth to my ear. The music is loud, stopping any kind of normal conversation.

  “Rachel. You?”

  “Nice to meet you, Rachel. My name is Gavin. So, are you with someone tonight?” he asks me. I shake my head and a sly smile crosses his face. “Good,” is all he says.

  “What brings you out tonight?” I ask him. My drink gets set on the bar top and I lift it to my lips, taking a sip. The rum and coke slides down my throat. The alcohol enters my system and, along with the music bass and the way this man is making my body buzz… I am in for one hell of a night. Gavin slides his body closer to mine and my body reacts to the slight touch of his hand that’s now sliding around my waist. I look up into his eyes and damn, they are pretty. Big black lashes surround his bright blue eyes. Damn, a girl could get lost in those babies. I lift my glass to my mouth and down the whole drink. I need to feel this man against me. I place the glass back down and lick my lips, catching the little drop of liquid that sits there. Gavin follows the movement and his eyes darken. Fuck yes, I’ve hooked me a good one tonight.

  I take his hand in mine and pull him towards the dance floor. I can’t wait to see what he’s packing in his black trousers when he grinds against me. Usher’s ‘Love in this Club’ plays through the room. Everyone is grinding on the person they’re dancing with and I intend to follow suit. I pull Gavin into the middle of the dance floor and yank him close to me. I turn so that I’m facing away from him, and my arse nestles nicely against his already hard dick in his trousers. All thoughts leave my mind when the music picks up and we join in with the crowd and their grinding. Something about letting the music flow through my body clears my mind of all the crap I’ve had to deal with.

  “Fuck, you feel good, sweetheart,” Gavin whispers into my ear, his breath hot against my skin. His hands slide lower down my front, pulling me tighter to him. One of his hands slides beneath the hem of my dress and he lifts the material up my thigh a little. Goosebumps spread across my skin, and flashes of Jay’s face appear in my mind. The last time I was touched like this, it was him doing the touching. I try to shake the pictures from my mind, but my body makes me feel like it’s Jay behind me. Touching me. Making me feel hot and horny.

  Fucking stop it, Rachel, I scream inside my head.

  I force myself to turn around and look at Gavin. I need to get Jay Castle out of my head, that man is dangerous to my heart. I can’t let him suck me in only to hurt me later. I lift my arms up and wrap them around Gavin’s neck, pulling his mouth down to mine. He comes willingly. His lips are warm and soft, just like Jay’s.

  FUCK!

  I grind harder on Gavin’s package, and his groans fill my mouth. His hands slide down and cup my bum, squeezing the plump flesh. The music pounds around us. The heat from the dance floor making my body sweat, running down between my boobs. Gavin slips one leg between my thighs and my senses go crazy. Why does he make me feel like this? Jay’s face flicks through my mind again and I freeze. It isn’t Gavin making me hot, well, not his face anyway. It’s Jay. I’m using Gavin’s body to give me the aroused high that Jay normally would. I turn my head, breaking the kiss. My eyes move around the other people on the dance floor, but my gaze lands on a familiar set of eyes that are burning with anger.

  Anger that is directed at me and me only.

  Shit!

  jay

  Luke had asked me to join him at ‘The Pennant’, but I really didn’t want to come out tonight. I wanted to go home and chill and watch the footie on ‘Match of the Day’. But no, the fucker begged and had two girls to give me the puppy eyes. So here I am, walking down the street beside a hyped Luke Baker. I didn’t dress to impress tonight; I threw on some black jeans with holes in the knees and my black boots, topped off with my usual checked shirt with the sleeves rolled up.

  “Dude, you need to get laid, maybe then you’ll smile a little,” Luke pipes in from next to me.

  “Fuck off. I told you I didn’t want to come out tonight. I can still go home, you know,” I reply. I am really not feeling the mood tonight. I still have this shit with Rachel hanging over my head. Two fucking weeks and still nothing. I know she told me to call her when I grew up, but come the fuck on, I had every fucking right to be pissed at her. She used me.

  “Hey, listen. Let’s go have a few drinks and get your mind off Rachel, yeah. She’s screwing with your head. I would tell you to move onto the next bird, but I know you need to sort through this shit with her.” I nod at him.

  “Yeah, I know. This is so fucked up. I can’t believe the way she acted the last time I saw her. Makes me think things aren’t right about us, you know?”

  “Yeah, fella. I do know. I was in the same position a few years ago. I wanted more but she didn’t, so I fucked her off. Simple. You need to do what’s right for you, man.” I get what he is saying, but it’s easier said than done. I real
ly thought things would move forward with Rachel, but obviously she has other ideas.

  We walk into the club and the music, the smell of sweat and alcohol, hits my senses. The place is packed wall to wall. I’m pretty surprised that we were even allowed in, but Luke knows the guy on the door. We walk towards the bar and I watch as girls’ heads turn to look at Luke and me. I’m pretty tall and in good shape – yeah, I am fucking hot. But Luke… He’s like a brick shit house. Six foot three and muscles upon muscle. His dark brown hair and beard drives the ladies fucking mental. Three girls are sitting at the end of the bar, smiling at us, throwing some pretty suggestive looks our way. I wink at them and they giggle like a bunch of school girls. Luke grips my shoulders from behind and shouts into my ear.

  “Oh man, you are so in there if you want.” He steers me towards them, their smiles getting bigger. They push their tits out, trying to make them look more appealing, but they do nothing for me. I love a girl who is confident in her own skin, who doesn’t need to put on an act. Luke closes in on the redhead. Her boobs look bigger than my head. I have no clue why he likes that fake shit, because they do look fake.

  The blonde is pretty but over did it with the make-up. She smiles at me and slowly wraps her bright red lips around the straw in her drink, keeping her eyes locked on me. Yeah, this shit doesn’t turn me on. She leans forward, making sure I get an eyeful of her tits hanging out of her little top.

  “Hi, I’m Michelle.” She bites her bottom lip and I shake my head at her.

  “Jay,” I reply. She smiles and unashamedly runs her gaze over my body. I shudder, and not in the good way.

  “So, did you come here to shag some bird or are you looking for more?” Her question shocks the shit out of me. I shake my head at her.

  “I ‘m just here for a drink with my boy here.” I point to Luke, who already has his tongue down the redhead’s throat. Fucker works fast.