Accidental Secrets: A totally gripping, steamy, sexy contemporary romance (Accidental Love Book 3)

by Dana Mason

  Is this how abusers work? They lull you into a false sense of security and then turn the tables when you’re least expecting it? I don’t know what to think. Now I’m questioning everything I’m doing.

  I don’t want to be this person. I’m not drama queen material. It’s not who I am… but what about Mom? Is she right? Is it possible to have a father-daughter relationship and still protect her? I just don’t know how to do that.

  Forty-Three

  Rachel

  Mike shows up before his parents and I’m so glad. I can tell he’s still not happy and I’m so upset that we’ve ruined his day. When he comes inside, I can see that he’s already been home and cleaned up from being at the gym all day. He’s dressed in shorts and a t-shirt, as if ready to swim. He scans the living room, looking for Raegan, but she’s still in her room.

  “How’s it going?” he asks quietly, leaning in to give me a sly peck on the cheek.

  “She’s been in her room since I got home. I’m not sure what to think. I really don’t know what happened.”

  It’s as if he deflates when he hears this. “Maybe we need to confront her about it?”

  “And what if it turns into a big fight before your parents get here?” I ask, closing the front door.

  “Rachel, we can’t be ruled by the emotional outburst of a thirteen-year-old girl. If she blows her top with my parents around, it’s on her. She’ll only embarrass herself.”

  “And me, Mike! Listen, I completely agree with you. If this were any other day or any other party, I’d cancel it right now. But it’s not. This was supposed to be a big deal. We’re supposed to be celebrating you and your gym opening. I don’t want her to ruin it.”

  His eyes drift around and he finally says, “Let’s just carry on without her. Leave her in her room and if she wants to meet people, she’ll come out. If she doesn’t, she won’t. We can all still try to enjoy ourselves.”

  “Good idea.” I wave him in the direction of the kitchen where I’m working on the food prep. I peek down the hall before entering the kitchen but her door is shut tight. Whatever. He’s right, we need to let her come to terms with this on her own. She’s the one acting out and we can’t give in to her temper tantrums.

  I take out all the fixings for the salad and say, “I still need to tell you about my talk with my mother.”

  “I really, really don’t like Raegan being alone with her. I don’t trust her and we don’t need her interfering in our lives.”

  “I made it clear to her that we wouldn’t put up with any of her nonsense. She needs to accept that this is happening and we will not allow her to interfere with us being a family.”

  “How did she take that?”

  “At first she didn’t take it well at all. I ended up telling her about the rape and about therapy. I told her I how depressed I was after that and how she didn’t even notice. I really let her have it. I told her I was done being her victim and that it was her fault that I’d become such a doormat and I wasn’t going to be that doormat any longer.” I finish washing the veggies and take out a large salad bowl. “I told her a lot and she seem to understand.”

  “Good. Jesus, Rachel, it’s about time.”

  “I know, but after our talk the other night, I realized I’ve lived in this void for so long and I’m tired of it. I’m done taking her shit. I’m done taking everyone’s shit.”

  Mike raises his eyebrows at that and it makes me smile. “Rachel Williams, did you just curse?”

  “I sure the fuck did,” I say, whispering the f word.

  He takes the salad bowl from my hand and sets it on the counter before bringing me close. “I’m so proud of you.”

  “Don’t be.” I brush him and his praise off. “It’s embarrassing. I should have told her off years ago.”

  “Yes, you should have, but that goes against your nature.” He gently tucks a strand of hair behind my ear. “It’s not who you are so I understand what a leap this is for you.” Playfully poking me with his finger, he takes a step back. “Just don’t start that shit on me or I’ll have to punish you for back-talking me.”

  This makes me laugh so hard I nearly snort. I reach out and lightly smack his chest.

  “Shut up!”

  Mike fakes a deep voice and says, “Watch your mouth, woman!”

  We’re laughing when the doorbell chimes. Both our backs go straight at the same time and it’s funny because we look like we’ve been caught doing something wrong.

  “That’s all you. I’m not answering that door.”

  He laughs as he walks to the door. “So much for being in this together.”

  I hear him greet his family and everyone sounds so happy and full of smiles. When they come inside, Mike leads them to the back patio. I stay in the kitchen because I’m really not sure what to say. I briefly saw them earlier today at the gym, but I was too preoccupied with Raegan to really say hello.

  While Mike comes back inside to get them drinks, I place the prepared salad in the fridge, then grab the marinated tri-tip steak and take it out so it can come to room temperature. I place the shucked corn on the counter, and he says, “You’re hiding.”

  “No, I’m preparing food, not hiding.”

  “Now you’re lying.” This makes me smile, despite myself. Okay, yes, he’s right. I’m a coward and I’m hiding. “Don’t worry,” he says. “They’re not interested in drilling you. They just want to see you and get to know Raegan.”

  I try to smile at this, but it’s half-hearted. “I wouldn’t blame them for hating me.”

  “I would… but it doesn’t matter, they don’t. Come on.”

  I follow him out of the kitchen and into the backyard. I’m immediately hugged by Diana and Olivia and that puts me a little more at ease. “I hope you guys are swimming,” I say when Olivia jumps into my arms.

  “Yes, yes,” she says. “Where’s Raegan, is she going to swim too?”

  “I think she’s planning to join you in a while.”

  Mike saves me from saying more when he says, “You guys remember Rachel, don’t you?”

  Mike’s mom gives me a big smile as she stands to hug me. “Yes, of course. It’s good to see you, Rachel. Thank you for inviting us over for dinner.” When Sharon releases me, she says, “And thank you very much for getting us a room at The Sutter. It’s such a beautiful place. Mike said you’re the manager there. Is that right?”

  “Yes, I started as a part-time event planner years ago. When I finished school, I was hired on as the event and wedding manager. And a few years later, I was promoted to hotel manager. I really love it there. The owner group gives me full autonomy so I don’t have to answer to anyone really.”

  “Well, it’s a beautiful place and our suite is amazing.”

  “Good, I’m glad you’re enjoying your stay.”

  Mike and I take a seat at the patio table with them and as I sit, Mike’s dad, Edward says, “I’m glad to see you’re doing well, Rachel. We were all worried when you disappeared.”

  I feel instant heat in my cheeks and for a moment, I can’t respond. Thankfully, Mike saves me from having to say anything right away.

  “Dad, we haven’t talked to Raegan about everything yet so please don’t bring it up when she’s here.”

  He flashes me an apologetic look and says, “Okay, I just wanted Rachel to know we missed her. Her absence was felt by all of us.”

  “Thank you for saying that. I missed you all too. It was a very hard time… for everyone. I know.”

  “Mike mentioned your mom was behind the sudden move—I don’t ever remember meeting her when you two were in school.”

  “It’s true,” Sharon says. “I don’t think we ever did meet her. Do you know what it was that she had against Mike? I even remember him mentioning back then that she never liked him.”

  “Do we really need to talk about this now, guys?” Mike throws his hands out in irritation and says, “Come on. This is supposed to be a family dinner. I don’t want to make Rac
hel or Raegan feel uncomfortable by talking about the past bullshit.”

  I lay a hand on his in an effort to relax him. I know he feels the need to defend me, but I don’t want his irritation to inflame the situation. I take a deep breath to explain but I’m interrupted by my phone vibrating in my pocket. I grab it to read the display.

  Raegan: Mom, were you raped?

  I’m so surprised reading this, the phone slips from my hand and hits the ground with a smack. Mike quickly snatches it up and glances at the display. His eyes go wide as he hands the phone back. I can see he’s as freaked out by the message as I am.

  “What’s this about?”

  “Um… I’m not sure.” I smile at everyone and say, “I’m sorry, but I need to go check on something. I’ll be back in a few minutes.” Then I rush into the house and toward Raegan’s room. I push the door open to find her sitting on her bed, waiting for me, and it’s clear she’s been crying. Her agitation is obvious. Laying around her in piles are all of my notes from high school. She’s opened them all and read them. It’s as if she’s looking for something.

  “Raegan, what did Grandma tell you?”

  “So, it’s true. You were raped?”

  “Is that why you’re acting out the way you are? Because she told you that.”

  She rolls her eyes. “Why do you always avoid answering my questions? You told me you’d talk to me—stop treating me like a child. Why can’t you be honest?”

  “Wait—so, I get victimized and that gives you an excuse to be nasty to me? Is that how this is working now, Rae? Because if it is, I’m leaving. I don’t need your attitude. I have people here who actually want to talk to me.”

  Her gaze falls to the ground and I can tell what I said got to her. She scrubs her nose with the back of her hand and says, “I’m sorry, Mom. I’m just upset. I’ve read every one of these and I don’t see any signs of aggression. I don’t see anything wrong.”

  As I approach her, she sits up and wraps her arms around me.

  “What do these old letters have to do with that?”

  She squeezes me and says, “I’m so confused.”

  “Raegan, I’m sorry your grandmother shared that with you, but she shouldn’t have. I’m fine, you can see that. It happened a long time ago and everything is okay now. If you want to talk about it, we can, but today isn’t the time.”

  “I started this and I don’t know how to fix it.” Now she’s outright sobbing, her chest pumping in and out as she tries to calm herself.

  I’m completely confused now too. “What are you talking about?”

  “It’s my fault you’re having to entertain your rapist. If you’d told me—been honest from the beginning—I wouldn’t have pushed you to find him.”

  I draw back from her and grip her shoulders. “What are you talking about? I’m not entertaining my rapist.” Just as I finish saying this, Mike walks into Raegan’s room.

  “Everything okay?” he asks.

  “Why don’t you leave?” Raegan shouts at him. “Nobody wants you here!”

  Mike’s eyebrows raise as he stares at her, obviously hurt by what she has said. “What have I done to suddenly offend you, Raegan?”

  “Mike.” I reach my hand out to stop him from saying more. “I think there’s been a huge misunderstanding.”

  “I know what you did. I know what you’re like. You’re a typical narcissist.”

  As soon as I hear this, I know exactly what’s happened and I want to throw up. My mother. How could she?

  “Stop!” I shout at her. “Stop talking right now!”

  “It’s okay, Rachel. She doesn’t want me here, I’ll go.”

  “No! You stop too! Stop right there. You’re both going to come in here. Shut the damn door and let me talk.”

  “Mom, let him go. It’s okay. We don’t need him here.”

  “Raegan, say another word and I’m going to tape your damn mouth shut. Let me talk!”

  She leans back against her headboard and crosses her arms over her chest. Mike closes the door and leans against it, crossing his arms over his chest. My eyes switch between them and it’s stunning how alike they are. If this wasn’t a very serious moment, I’d get a camera.

  “Raegan, you asked me if I was raped. Did Grandma tell you I was raped?”

  She nods. “Yes, she told me everything.”

  “Why would your mother tell her something like that?”

  “Aha! Stop talking—both of you.” I point to him then to her. “I’m doing the talking right now.” I try again. “Raegan, did Grandma tell you who raped me?”

  I glance at Mike as I ask this question and his head tilts with confusion. I give him a be quiet look and it works, he keeps his mouth shut.

  Glaring at Mike, Raegan says, “Yes.”

  His eyes widen. “Wait a minute… are you telling me—”

  “Michael, please, stop. Let me do this.”

  “Raegan, who did she tell you raped me?”

  “Why the song and dance, Mom? We all know it was Mike. Otherwise, we wouldn’t be having this conversation.”

  I’m fighting with everything I have to not lose it. I’m so upset. I cover my mouth with my hand and stand there, staring at her. I seriously do not know what to say. I look over at Mike. He’s pale, and actually looks sick too. My eyes are locked on his as I shake my head. “I’m sorry.” My voice cracks and that forces me to turn my back on them both so I can get my bearings. I shake it off and turn back toward my daughter and kneel in front of her. I want her to look into my eyes when I tell her this.

  “Raegan,” my voice wavers so I take a breath and try again. “Your grandmother lied to you. I was raped… but it wasn’t Mike. Michael has never hurt me. I was raped by a man I was dating four years ago.”

  “No, no, Mom. Grandma told me Mike was abusive to you and that he was mean to you and that’s why you didn’t tell him you were pregnant. That’s why you ran away when you found out about me. She said you were scared of him.”

  I shake my head, and tears drip from my eyes. I’m fighting with everything I have to keep my cool. I’m so embarrassed and ashamed of my mother, now I can’t even look in Mike’s direction.

  “No, Raegan, everything she told you is a complete lie. None of that is true. I was… I was in love with Mike.” I place a hand on my chest. “I am still in love with him. He has never… never once hurt me.” My voice cracks so I stop to take a cleansing breath. “I left town when I got pregnant because Grandma threatened to put you up for adoption. She threated to have Mike arrested. She did all of that. She was abusive. She did this. Not Mike. She made me promise not to tell him about you. She made a lot of threats… I was afraid of her, not Mike.”

  Forty-Four

  Michael

  “I’m so sorry,” Rachel says as she gets to her feet. She’s obviously mortified by her mother’s actions. I walk over and pull her to me. I don’t care if Raegan is watching. I don’t care if she knows we’re together. I don’t care if she doesn’t like it. I can’t see Rachel this upset and not comfort her. I wrap my hands around her and hold her close. She’s trembling and as soon as her head hits my chest, she loses all control over her emotions.

  I let her cry it out and having her do it in my arms is a relief. I need to be useful, otherwise I’m going to explode. I don’t understand why that woman hates me so much. Just as Rachel’s crying slows, I feel a set of arms come around us both. Rachel freezes and I do too, then I peek over to see Raegan gripping us both around our waists, her face buried between us.

  I lower my left arm to wrap around her and Rachel does too. Now they’re both crying and as much as I hate it, I love it at the same time. These are my girls. My family.

  After a long time, Rachel withdraws and Raegan clings to me. I lift her off her feet and hold her against me. She’s not little, but she’s light so it’s easy to do. When I hear her whisper, “I’m sorry. I’m so sorry for what I said. I’m so sorry about today. I’m sorry for believing her. I was
so confused because… because…”

  “Hey, it’s okay. This isn’t your fault.” I set her down and she sits back on the bed. Rachel and I sit on either side of her.

  Rachel grabs her hand. “This isn’t your fault, Rae. She’s manipulative and horrible.”

  “But why would she tell me that? Why would she want me to believe that…” Raegan’s voice cracks and after a pause, she says, “That I was born from that?”

  As soon as I hear this, I want to punch a wall. What the fuck is up with that woman? I look over at Rachel, who shakes her head in disgust. “I don’t know why, Raegan, but I think we need to ask her.” She’s still wiping the tears from her face, but her voice is almost back to normal and that makes me feel better.

  “Maybe we should,” I say. “I think it’s time she answers for what she’s done—to all of us.”

  “We’re supposed to meet her for brunch tomorrow. Would you like to join us?”

  I nod. “Yep. I’ll be there.”

  “Let’s invite your entire family. She should be accountable to everyone.”

  “Jesus, woman, I love the savage in you. I wish you’d show it more often.”

  This makes Raegan laugh and it’s the sweetest sound. I wrap an arm around her shoulders and say, “Your real grandparents are in the backyard waiting for dinner. What do you say we go out there so you can meet them?”

  Raegan nods and then grins up at me. “I would like that.”

  Rachel and I stand and Rachel says, “Take a minute if you need it… put on your swimsuit, then come outside and have some fun with us. Okay?”

  Raegan gets up and hugs her mom one more time, then we leave her alone. We both stop in the hall to have a moment to collect ourselves too. We stare at each other and it’s as if we’re both in shock.

  When Rachel starts to apologize again, I lay my finger on her lips. “Stop apologizing for your mother. It’s not your fault.”