Ashwin was in a contemplative mood as he drove back to his mother's house, and Kasey seemed to understand that as she glanced out the window at the breathtaking beauty of the mountains. She hadn't been to the mountains in ages, and she was surprised when two solitary tears rolled down her cheeks as she remembered the childhood vacations she used to take with her parents. She jumped slightly when Ashwin gently placed his hand over hers and murmured, “What are you thinking about, sweetheart?”
Kasey sighed and said, “I was remembering how I used to come here on vacation with my parents.”
Ashwin nodded but said nothing else as he turned onto the dirt road that was marked with a large sign announcing the Cherokee Reservation, and five minutes later he parked in front of his mother's house and switched the ignition off before he said, “It's six o'clock. Are you ready for your big surprise tonight?”
Kasey sighed and gave him a small smile. “I suppose I'm as ready as I'll ever be.”
Ashwin pinned her with a somber look and said, “There's nothing to worry about, sweetheart. I'll be with you the entire time, OK?”
Kasey frowned at his odd words and inquired, “Why do I get the feeling that whatever it is you have planned for me tonight is going to scare the bejesus out of me?”
Ashwin laughed and replied, “What, exactly, is a bejesus?”
Kasey shrugged. “I have no idea.”
“That's what I thought.” He leaned over and gave her a quick kiss before they got out of the car and walked into the house, and moments later he sat her down on the bed and instructed, “You need to wear something comfortable and warm, although we'll have a fire going. OK?”
Kasey nodded and opened the closet to select something appropriate, and Ashwin disappeared into the bathroom to get ready for the evening's ceremony. When he emerged Kasey didn't notice anything different, save for his somber expression and serious attitude. He glanced at the clock and nodded in approval when he saw what Kasey was wearing, but Kasey was having a hard time concentrating on anything except the black jeans that clung to his muscular thighs, as well as the black lace-up moccasin boots that allowed him to walk in absolute silence. He smiled at her entranced look, but before he could comment, his mother suddenly entered the bedroom and mysteriously announced, “It's time.”
Ashwin nodded and gently placed both hands on Kasey's shoulders before he smiled and said, “I'll see you soon.”
“What? Wait! Where are you going?” Kasey cried as she watched him walk down the hallway and out the front door. His mother gently took her arm and guided her to the kitchen, then warmed a cup of coffee in the microwave and set it in front of her. “Drink up, child. You'll need this.”
Kasey bit her lip as she slowly drank the strong, hot coffee, and when the cup was empty, Ashwin's mother simply asked, “Are you ready?”
Kasey nodded and walked beside Ashwin's mother to the front door, and as soon as they stepped onto the front porch, Kasey shivered at the chill of the early-evening air. Ashwin's mother walked down the front steps, then turned to Kasey and said, “Follow me.”
“I thought that bitch was dead!” Sylvie furiously muttered to herself as she watched Ashwin's mother and Kasey disappear into the woods. Her brow was furrowed in anger and her mouth was set in a straight line as she briskly paced behind the large oak tree that was less than fifty yards from Mrs. Ross' house. She was almost tempted to follow them into the woods and disrupt the peyote ceremony that Ashwin had planned just for Kasey. “He never did anything like that for me,” she mumbled as she continued shuffling back and forth, kicking dry leaves as she paced. Her anger was such that the cool evening air didn't bother her at all, and it reached a fever pitch when she glanced at Ashwin's car and noticed the four new tires that adorned it. She wanted to slash them all again, even though she knew how petty it had been the first time she'd done it. She gave a frustrated sigh as she continued to pace and mutter to herself, then abruptly stopped when the proverbial light bulb flickered to life above her head. She stood absolutely still, the tip of her index finger pressed against her lips as she finally decided upon the ultimate payback for everything he had put her through, everything he had done. If she couldn't have him, then no one else would, either. She couldn't imagine him making love to anyone else the way he'd made love to her less than a week before. The mere thought of him doing such a thing made her blood boil with a self-justified rage. Satisfied with her brilliant plan, she quickly looked both ways to make sure no one was watching, then quietly disappeared into the woods.
Kasey slowly followed Ashwin's mother down a path that wound through the woods, and she rubbed her arms and glanced nervously around as shadows fell and darkened the path they were walking on. In the distance she could see smoke rising from what appeared to be a teepee, and five minutes later Ashwin's mother walked inside the teepee and led Kasey over to her seat. Kasey sat down and silently took in the scene before her—the chief, dressed in full regalia, stood at the front of the teepee, accompanied by a man who appeared to be a minister. Yet another man stood guard at the entrance of the teepee, and as Kasey glanced around, she noticed four men with drums and flutes sitting off to the side at the front of the teepee. They were shirtless, and their faces and chests boasted various paints as they sat silently and patiently. The fire burning at the front of the teepee popped and crackled in a comforting manner when the guard added another log to it, and as Kasey sat there she couldn't help wondering where Ashwin was. It was already completely dark outside, and when he entered the teepee, Kasey didn't recognize him right away. He was shirtless, and his face boasted a stunning yet somewhat frightening black and white paint job—black on one side and white on the other. He was wearing a braided, black leather necklace from which hung a fascinating medallion in the center, and as he approached her his expression was somber. He remained silent as he sat down beside her, and she decided to also remain silent as she turned her attention back to the front of the teepee. A few other men walked into the teepee and sat down, and Kasey somehow knew that they were important members of the reservation simply by the way they carried themselves. They, too, were dressed in full regalia, and Kasey was full of wonder and awe as she took it all in. She watched as the guard added another log to the fire, and then the chief began to speak. “My fellow brethren, we have gathered here this evening to partake in a very important cleansing and healing ritual.” He stopped long enough to hand each person present a small cup, but when he got to Ashwin, he handed him the small cup as well as a small, covered bowl. Ashwin nodded and murmured, “Wado,” then set his own cup of the mysterious substance aside and carefully uncovered the small bowl. Kasey slowly leaned over and peered at its contents, then sat back and focused her attention on what the chief was saying. “Oh Mighty Creator, we come to you tonight seeking cleansing, healing, and enlightenment as you have meant for it to be. May all of those present here tonight find the healing and peace that they seek.” The chief nodded, and the four men sitting at the front of the teepee began to slowly play the drums and flutes. The other men whom Kasey was certain were important members of the reservation uncovered their cups, but instead of consuming the contents, they simply set the cups on the ground and patiently stared straight ahead as the beat of the drums became stronger and louder. Kasey glanced over just as Ashwin scooped a spoonful of the pureed peyote out of the bowl, and his voice was gentle yet authoritative as he murmured, “Open your mouth.”
Kasey obeyed, and Ashwin slipped the spoon into her mouth, much like a mother would spoon-feed a baby. She chewed and grimaced at the bitter taste, then swallowed it down and asked, “What is that?”
“It's peyote pudding.” He spooned more into her mouth and added, “You have to finish what's in this bowl. Understood?”
Kasey peered into the bowl again and felt her heart sink a little when she saw how much more she had left to eat, but surprisingly, the next bite didn't seem quite as bitter as the first bite had. She began to feel pleasantly dizzy, and as Ashwin s
pooned yet another bite into her mouth she softly slurred, “You're feeding me PP.” She giggled and added, “Peyote Pudding. Clever.”
Ashwin forced himself to keep a straight face at her words, because he knew it was the peyote taking effect. He scooped the last spoonful out of the bowl and slipped it into her mouth, then quickly ingested his own peyote and leaned over to Kasey. “Remember what I told you...no matter what happens, I'll be right there with you. OK?”
Kasey nodded slightly and blinked as everything began to change—the fire burning at the front of the teepee was suddenly a brilliant variety of colors, and the tiny sparks that floated upwards from the burning logs resembled fairies that danced gaily in the air. She glanced over at the chief, whose stunning headdress suddenly turned into a majestic eagle that flapped its wings and issued a loud squawk just as the chief began to speak. She was vaguely aware of Ashwin's hand curling around hers as the chief said, “Even though these are the words of our ancestors, handed down from tribe to tribe, the meaning remains the same.” With that, the musicians began to play the drums and maracas as the chief closed his eyes and began to chant:
Wani wachiyelo Ate omakiyayo (Father help me I want to live)
Wani wachiyelo Ate omakiyayo (Father help me I want to live)
Wani wachiyelo Ate omakiyayo (Father help me I want to live)
Atay nimichikun (Father have you done this?)
Oshiya chichiyelo (Humbly have pity on me)
Wani wachiyelo Atay omakiyayo (Father help me I want to live)
Wani wachiyelo Atay omakiyayo (Father help me I want to live)
Wani wachiyelo Atay (Father I want to live)
As the elders joined the chief in the age-old peyote healing chant, Ashwin gently eased Kasey backwards until her head was resting on the pillow that had been placed there especially for her. She slowly blinked up at him and sighed, and despite the strangeness she felt in her head, she understood Ashwin perfectly as he leaned over her and murmured, “Don't be afraid.”
Kasey closed her eyes and suddenly found herself in a very dark room. She was overcome with fear until she felt Ashwin gently take her hand, and with a wave of his free hand the darkness suddenly lifted. She saw her mother and father sitting side by side in the guest bedroom of her apartment, and she gasped softly when she saw how disfigured her father's face was. The sight of it was enough to make her vomit, and after she'd recovered, she noticed that her mother was sitting there with an angry expression on her face as she belittled the man she'd been married to for over fifty years. “Why did you do this to me, John? Now look at what you've done! We'll be forced to spend eternity like this, and I wouldn't be surprised if you aren't just yanked down to hell!”
Kasey swallowed hard as her father slowly raised his head, and the utter shame and dejection in his eyes was hard to witness as he shook his head and continued to stare down at the floor. She turned her attention back to her mother, whose face was also disfigured, although not as badly as her father's. She suddenly noticed that her parents were chained together, and as fear and sympathy warred within her, she boldly stepped forward and said to her mother, “Why are you blaming daddy for all of this? Do you think your actions didn't play a part in any of this? Do you not remember all those times you belittled him, especially in front of me, not to mention other people? How do you think that made him feel?”
Her mother sat there silently, her gaze riveted to the floor as Kasey continued to speak. “For years I had to listen to you pick fights with him over just about everything, but especially money! Didn't you ever think that all of your nagging and fighting chipped away at his sense of self-worth as a man? And me...how could you have ever allowed what happened to me to just be swept under the rug? Do you know how many times I've wondered what kind of father KNOWS that a man molested his daughter but did absolutely nothing about it? DO YOU?”
Ashwin gasped at Kasey's words, for he had known nothing of the horrors she had endured as a child. Her surprising revelation suddenly explained why she had stopped meeting him in their private, dreamworld forest all those years ago, as well as why she couldn't remember the meetings they'd had there when she'd been twelve--the utter horror and trauma of what she'd suffered had caused her to repress everything. He stepped closer to her and wrapped his arms around her in a protective, comforting gesture, but he remained silent as Kasey's father began to speak.
Kasey's father slowly raised his head and said, “Punkin, I never meant to do this...I never meant for you to see it...and I'm sorry for all the hurt you've suffered, both at my hands and your mother's.”
Kasey bit her lip as she turned back to her mother and continued, “And then, after daddy developed Alzheimer's, you never let up! It made me SICK to see the way you treated him when you came to my place for a visit! He wasn't a child, yet you acted like he could do absolutely NOTHING right! Why did you do that to him?”
Kasey's father slowly shook his head. “No, punkin, you can't place all the blame on your mother. That just wouldn't be right, nor would it be fair. Your mother and I spent over fifty years together. I made my fair share of mistakes during that time as well. But no matter what, both of us loved you and never, ever wanted to see you hurt.”
Tears streamed down Kasey's face at her father's heart-felt words, but before she could say anything else, she was suddenly whisked back in time to the moment her father had turned the gun on himself after he'd shot and killed her mother. She watched herself in a mixture of horror and dread as her father's blood and brains flew into her mouth in seeming slow-motion, appalled by the sight of herself as she lay on the carpet in her apartment, covered in her father's blood as her mind slowly shut down, unable to handle what her eyes had seen. She watched as Ed stumbled in and found her, watched as the paramedics carried her out of the apartment, watched as she lay in the hospital bed in the psychiatric ward, limp, almost lifeless, oblivious to everything except the horrible scene that insisted on replaying itself over and over in her tortured mind. She watched as Ashwin insisted on being by her side every chance he had, watched as he cradled her on his lap and fell asleep with her cradled against his chest, watched as he cried over her, and then the reel from the past stopped as she once again faced her parents. They, too, had seen everything she had just seen, and their tears and sobs of anguish were genuine as they finally realized just what their actions had done to their beloved daughter. Ashwin finally released her from his protective embrace, and his eyes were full of sorrow as he offered her a small pair of bolt-cutters. She took a deep sigh as she walked over to her parents and murmured, “I love you, and I forgive you.” With that, she firmly cut the chains that bound her parents together, and moments later they slowly floated up out of their chairs and disappeared, finally free to go on to their eternal destination. Before she could say anything, though, she turned her head and vomited copiously at Ashwin's feet, but he didn't seem to mind as he gently rubbed her back and murmured, “That's normal.”
“You have got to be kidding me.”
Finally, a laugh. “Nope, I'm not kidding.”
Kasey wiped her mouth and inquired, “Where to now?”
Ashwin sighed and once again took her hand. “You're about to find out.”
With Ashwin's arms firmly wrapped around her, Kasey witnessed everything—Silver Moon's arrival at his apartment with her newborn and Sani, the way she'd talked to and treated Sani, the way she'd tried to come onto Ashwin, the way Ashwin had resisted her advances, even when she'd gone so far as to invite herself into his bed. After that, the note Ashwin had found from Sani, his decision to return the boy to the reservation, and Silver Moon's actions during all of this—her trip to the La Maison du Curios Noir, the agreement she'd signed in order to obtain the deadly powder, the way she'd sneaked into the hospital, the hateful words she'd spat at her as she'd slept peacefully in the hospital bed, the way she'd blown the deadly powder into her nose, and what had happened after that. Up until that point, she'd merely been a passive spectator, even
though silent tears had streamed down her cheeks as she remembered her confusion and terror over being cold and paralyzed and in such darkness. Ashwin's grief and desolation had caused even more tears to stream down her cheeks, and she watched with concerned interest the night he'd decided to drown his sorrows with alcohol. She watched his drunken return to his apartment, his irritation and frustration evident as he stumbled into the kitchen and then began yelling at Silver Moon's crying baby, but what she wasn't prepared for was the way he'd handled Silver Moon. Granted, the woman's words and actions left her feeling physically ill, but Ashwin's words and actions—his resigned acceptance of what Silver Moon had done to him while he'd been drunk--were even worse. Her mouth dropped open in a mixture of despair and horror as she watched Ashwin toss her onto his bed, undress her, and then allow Silver Moon to have her way with him, with little to no resistance from him. When it was all over, she was at a loss for words as she turned tear-filled eyes to him. “Ashwin...how could you? You thought I was dead, yet you did this with another woman, and Silver Moon, of all people! I just—I--” she shook her head again and repeated, “How could you?”
Ashwin's face was strained as he replied, “I am so very sorry, Kasey. I was drunk and consumed with grief. I was also angry enough with Silver Moon to literally kill her, but I didn't do that. I'm only human, sweetheart, and I never meant to hurt you. What I did that night, regardless of who initiated it, was wrong. I love you, Kasey, and I have never stopped loving you, not even after what Silver Moon and I did. Please forgive me.” He dropped to his knees in front of her and bowed his head, and even though Kasey felt a slight tug on her heart, she couldn't get the image of Ashwin and Silver Moon together out of her head. Even though it wasn't the sweet, tender kind of lovemaking she'd shared with him, he had still chosen to have sex with someone else, and knowing that that someone else had been Silver Moon made her vomit again. With a deep sigh she simply shook her head and whispered, “I—I'm sorry, Ashwin. I just don't know what to say.” With that, she turned and walked away.
The Medicine Man, Book 2 Page 14
