Much Ado About Nothing (Arden Shakespeare: Third Series)

by William Shakespeare

  Messenger. But few of any sort,deg and none of name.deg

  Leonato. A victory is twice itself when the achiever brings home full numbers. I find here that Don Pedro hath bestowed much honor on a young Florentine called Claudio.

  1.1.5 gentlemen men of upper class

  7 sort rank

  7 name distinguished family

  Messenger. Much deserved on hjs part, and equally re memb'red by Don Pedro. He hath borne himself beyond the promise of his age, doing, in the figure of a lamb, the feats of a lion. He hath indeed better bett'red expectationdeg than you must expect of me to tell you how.

  Leonato. He hath an uncledeg here in Messina will be very much glad of it.

  Messenger. I have already delivered him letters, and there appears much joy in him; even so much that joy could not show itself modest enough without a badgedeg of bitterness.

  Leonato. Did he break out into tears?

  Messenger. In great measure.

  Leonato. A kind overflow of kindness.deg There are no faces truer than those that are so washed. How much better is it to weep at joy than to joy at weeping!

  Beatrice. I pray you, is Signior Mountantodeg returned from the wars or no?

  Messenger. I know none of that name, lady. There was none such in the army of any sort.

  Leonato. What is he that you ask for, niece?

  Hero. My cousin means Signior Benedick of Padua.

  Messenger. O, he's returned, and as pleasantdeg as ever he was.

  Beatrice. He set up his billsdeg here in Messina and challenged Cupid at the flight;deg and my uncle's fool, reading the challenge, subscribeddeg for Cupid and challenged him at the burbolt.deg I pray you, how many hath he killed and eaten in these wars? But how many hath he killed? For indeed, I promised to eat all of his killing.

  15-16 better bett'red expectation greatly exceeded anticipated valor

  18 uncle (does not appear in the play)

  23 badge emblem

  26 kind overflow of kindness natural overflow of tenderness

  29 Mountanto a fencing thrust

  35 pleasant lively

  37 bills advertising placards

  37 flight shooting contest (i.c., he thought himself a lady-killer)

  39 subscribed signed up

  40 burbolt blunt arrow

  Leonato. Faith, niece, you taxdeg Signior Benedick too much; but he'll be meetdeg with you, I doubt it not.

  Messenger. He hath done good service, lady, in these wars.

  Beatrice. You had musty victual, and he hath holp to eat it. He is a very valiant trencherman;deg he hath an excellent stomach.

  Messenger. And a good soldier too, lady.

  Beatrice. And a good soldier todeg a lady. But what is he to a lord?

  Messenger. A lord to a lord, a man to a man; stuffed with all honorable virtues.

  Beatrice. It is so, indeed; he is no less than a stuffed man.deg But for the stuffing--well, we are all mortal.

  Leonato. You must not, sir, mistake my niece. There is a kind of merry war betwixt Signior Benedick and her. They never meet but there's a skirmish of wit between them.

  Beatrice. Alas, he gets nothing by that! In our last conflict four of his five witsdeg went haltingdeg off, and now is the whole man governed with one; so that if he have wit enough to keep himself warm, let him bear it for a difference between himself and his horse. For it is all the wealth that he hath left to be known a reasonable creature. Who is his companion now? He hath every month a new sworn brother.

  Messenger. Is't possible?

  Beatrice. Very easily possible. He wears his faith but as the fashion of his hat; it ever changes with the next block.deg

  44 tax i.e., tease too hard

  45 meet even

  49 trencherman eater

  52 to in comparison with

  56-57 stuffed man dummy

  63 five wits common sense, imagination, fancy, estimation, memory

  63 halting limping

  73 next block most recent shape

  Messenger. I see, lady, the gentleman is not in your books.deg

  Beatrice. No. Anddeg he were, I would burn my study. But I pray you, who is his companion? Is there no young squarerdeg now that will make a voyage with him to the devil?

  Messenger. He is most in the company of the right noble Claudio.

  Beatrice. O Lord, he will hang upon him like a disease. He is sooner caught than the pestilence, and the taker runs presentlydeg mad. God help the noble Claudio if he have caught the Benedict;deg it will cost him a thousand pound ere 'adeg be cured.

  Messenger. I will hold friends with you, lady.

  Beatrice. Do, good friend.

  Leonato. You will never run mad,deg niece.

  Beatrice. No, not till a hot January.

  Messenger. Don Pedro is approached.

  Enter Don Pedro, Claudio, Benedick, Balthasar, and John the Bastard.

  Don Pedro. Good Signior Leonato, are you come to meet your trouble? The fashion of the world is to avoid cost, and you encounter it.

  Leonato. Never came trouble to my house in the likeness of your Grace; for trouble being gone, comfort should remain. But when you depart from me, sorrow abides, and happiness takes his leave.

  Don Pedro. You embrace your chargedeg too willingly. I think this is your daughter.

  Leonato. Her mother hath many times told me so.

  75 books favor

  76 And if

  78 squarer brawler

  84 presently immediately (the usual sense in Shakespeare)

  85 Benedict (the change in spelling suggests a disease based on Benedick's name)

  86 'a he

  89 run mad catch the Benedict

  99 charge burden (of my visit)

  Benedick. Were you in doubt, sir, that you asked her?

  Leonato. Signior Benedick, no; for then were you a child.

  Don Pedro. You have it full, Benedick. We may guess by this what you are, being a man. Truly the lady fathers herself.deg Be happy, lady, for you are like an honorable father.

  Benedick. If Signior Leonato be her father, she would not have his headdeg on her shoulders for all Messina, as like him as she is.

  Beatrice. I wonder that you will stilldeg be talking, Signior Benedick; nobody marks you.

  Benedick. What, my dear Lady Disdain! Are you yet living?

  Beatrice. Is it possible Disdain should die while she hath such meet food to feed it as Signior Benedick? Courtesy itself must convert to Disdain if you come in her presence.

  Benedick. Then is courtesy a turncoat. But it is certain I am loved of all ladies,deg only you excepted; and I would I could find in my heart that I had not a hard heart; for truly I love none.

  Beatrice. A dear happiness to women! They would else have been troubled with a pernicious suitor. I thank God and my cold blood, I am of your humor for that.deg I had rather hear my dog bark at a crow than a man swear he loves me.

  Benedick. God keep your ladyship still in that mind, so some gentleman or other shall scape a predesti-nate scratched face.

  Beatrice. Scratching could not make it worse and 'twere such a face as yours were.

  107 fathers herself shows who her father is by resembling him

  110 his head white-haired and bearded (?)

  112 still always (the susual sense in Shakespeare)

  121 loved of all ladies (he had "challenged Cupid")

  126-27 of your humor for that in agreement on that

  Benedick. Well, you are a rare parrot-teacher.deg

  Beatrice. A bird of my tongue is better than a beast of yours.

  Benedick. I would my horse had the speed of your tongue, and so good a continuer.deg But keep your way, a God's name! I have done.

  Beatrice. You always end with a jade's trick.deg I know you of old.

  Don Pedro. That is the sum of all,deg Leonato. Signior Claudio and Signior Benedick, my dear friend Leonato hath invited you all. I tell him we shall stay here, at the least a month, and he heartily prays
some occasion may detain us longer. I dare swear he is no hypocrite, but prays from his heart.

  Leonato. If you swear, my lord, you shall not be forsworn. [To Don John] Let me bid you welcome, my lord; being reconciled to the Prince your brother, I owe you all duty.

  Don John. I thank you. I am not of many words, but I thank you.

  Leonato. Please it your Grace lead on?

  Don Pedro. Your hand, Leonato. We will go together. Exeunt. Manentdeg Benedick and Claudio.

  Claudio. Benedick, didst thou note the daughter of Signior Leonato?

  Benedick. I noteddeg her not, but I looked on her.

  Claudio. Is she not a modest young lady?

  Benedick. Do you question me as an honest man - should do, for my simple true judgment? Or would you have me speak after my custom, as being a professed tyrant to their sex?

  142 parrot-teacher i.e., monotonous speaker of nonsense

  137 continuer staying power

  140 jade's trick trick of a vicious horse (i.e., a sudden stop?)

  142 the sum of all the end of the sparring match

  155 s.d. Manent remain (Latin)

  158 noted (1) scrutimzed (2) set to music (3) stigmatized

  Claudio. No, I pray thee speak in sober judgment.

  Benedick. Why, i' faith, methinks she's too low for a high praise, too brown for a fair praise, and too little for a great praise. Only this commendation I can afford her, that were she other than she is, she were unhandsome, and being no other but as she is, I do not like her.

  Claudio. Thou thinkest I am in sport. I pray thee tell me truly how thou lik'st her.

  Benedick. Would you buy her, that you inquire after her?

  Claudio. Can the world buy such a jewel?

  Benedick. Yea, and a case to put it into. But speak you this with a sad brow?deg Or do you play the flouting Jack, to tell us Cupid is a good hare-finder and Vulcan a rare carpenter?deg Come, in what key shall a man take you to go in the song?

  Claudio. In mine eye she is the sweetest lady that ever I looked on.

  Benedick. I can see yet without spectacles, and I see no such matter. There's her cousin, and she were not possessed with a fury, exceeds her as much in beauty as the first of May doth the last of December. But I hope you have no intent to turn husband, have you?

  Claudio. I would scarce trust myself, though I had sworn the contrary, if Hero would be my wife.

  Benedick. Is't come to this? In faith, hath not the world one man but he will wear his cap with suspicion?deg

  177 with a sad brow seriously

  178-79 to tell us ... carpenter i.e., to mock us with nonsense (Cupid was blind, Vulcan was a blacksmith)

  191 but he ... suspicion who (because he is unmarried) will not fear that he has a cuckold's horns

  Shall I never see a bachelor of threescore again? Go to, i' faith! And thou wilt needs thrust thy neck into a yoke, wear the print of it and sigh away Sundays.deg Look! Don Pedro is returned to seek you.

  Enter Don Pedro.

  Don Pedro. What secret hath held you here, that you followed not to Leonato's?

  Benedick. I would your Grace would constrain me to tell.

  Don Pedro. I charge thee on thy allegiance.deg

  Benedick. You hear, Count Claudio; I can be secret as a dumb man. I would have you think so. But, on my allegiance--mark you this--on my allegiance! He is in love. With who? Now that is your Grace's part. Mark how short his answer is--with Hero, Leonato's short daughter.

  Claudio. If this were so, so were it utt'red.

  Benedick. Like the old tale, my lord: "It is not so, nor 'twas not so, but indeed, God forbid it should be so!"

  Claudio. If my passion change not shortly, God forbid it should be otherwise.

  Don Pedro. Amen, if you love her, for the lady is very well worthy.

  Claudio. You speak this to fetch me in, my lord.

  Don Pedro. By my troth, I speak my thought.

  Claudio. And, in faith, my lord, I spoke mine.

  Benedick. And, by my two faiths and troths, my lord, I spoke mine.

  Claudio. That I love her, I feel.

  Don Pedro. That she is worthy, I know.

  193-94 thrust thy neck ... Sundays i.e., enjoy the tiresome bondage of marriage

  200 allegiance solemn obligation to a prince

  Benedick. That I neither feel how she should be loved, nor know how she should be worthy, is the opinion that fire cannot melt out of me. I will die in it at the stake.

  Don Pedro. Thou wast ever an obstinate heretic in the despite of beauty.

  Claudio. And never could maintain his part but in the force of his will.deg

  Benedick. That a woman conceived me, I thank her; that she brought me up, I likewise give her most humble thanks. But that I will have a rechatedeg winded in my forehead, or hang my bugle in an invisible baldrick,deg all women shall pardon me. Because I will not do them the wrong to mistrust any, I will do myself the right to trust none; and the finedeg is (for the which I may go the finer), I will live a bachelor.

  Don Pedro. I shall see thee, ere I die, look pale with love.

  Benedick. With anger, with sickness, or with hunger, my lord, not with love. Prove that ever I lose more blood with love than I will get again with drinking, pick out mine eyes with a ballad maker's pen and hang me up at the door of a brothel house for the sign of blind Cupid.

  Don Pedro. Well, if ever thou dost fall from this faith, thou wilt prove a notable argument.deg

  Benedick. If I do, hang me in a bottledeg like a cat and shoot at me; and he that hits me, let him be clapped on the shoulder and called Adam.deg

  Don Pedro. Well, as time shall try:

  225-26 in the despite of in contempt of

  228 will sexual appetite

  231 rechate recheate, notes on a hunting horn

  233 baldrick belt, sling (the reference here, and in rechate, is to the horns of a cuckold)

  235 fine finis, result

  247 notable argument famous example

  248 bottle basket

  250 Adam i.e., Adam Bell, one of the three superlative archers in the ballad "Adam Bell"

  "In time the savage bull doth bear the yoke."

  Benedick. The savage bull may, but if ever the sensible Benedick bear it, pluck off the bull's horns and set them in my forehead, and let me be vilely painted, and in such great letters as they write "Here is good horse to hire," let them signify under my sign "Here you may see Benedick the married man."

  Claudio. If this should ever happen, thou wouldst be horn-mad.deg

  Don Pedro. Nay, if Cupid have not spent all his quiver in Venice,deg thou wilt quake for this shortly.

  Benedick. I look for an earthquake too then.

  Don Pedro. Well, you will temporize with the hours.deg In the meantime, good Signior Benedick, repair to Leonato's. Commend me to him and tell him I will not fail him at supper; for indeed he hath made great preparation.

  Benedick. I have almost matterdeg enough in me for such an embassage, and so I commit you--

  Claudio. To the tuitiondeg of God. From my house, if I had it--

  Don Pedro. The sixth of July. Your loving friend, Benedick.

  275 Benedick. Nay, mock not, mock not. The body of your discourse is sometime guardeddeg with fragments, and the guards are but slightly basted on neither. Ere you flout old endsdeg any further, examine your conscience. And so I leave you. Exit.

  Claudio. My liege, your Highness now may do me good.

  260 horn-mad mad with jealousy (perhaps also "sexually insatiable")

  262 Venice (famous for sexual license)

  264 temporize with the hours change temper or attitude with time

  269 matter sense

  271 tuition custody

  276 guarded trimmed (used of clothing)

  278 flout old ends i.e., indulge in derision at my expense

  Don Pedro. My love is thine to teach. Teach it but how,

  And thou shalt see how apt it is to learn

&n
bsp; Any-hard lesson that may do thee good.

  Claudio. Hath Leonato any son, my lord?

  Don Pedro. No child but Hero; she's his only heir.

  Dost thou affectdeg her, Claudio?

  Claudio. O my lord, When you went onward on this ended action,deg I looked upon her with a soldier's eye, That liked, but had a rougher task in hand Than to drive liking to the name of love. But now I am returned and thatdeg war-thoughts Have left their places vacant, in their rooms Come thronging soft and delicate desires, All prompting me how fair young Hero is, Saying I liked her ere I went to wars.

  Don Pedro. Thou wilt be like a lover presently And tire the hearer with a book of words. If thou dost love fair Hero, cherish it, And I will breakdeg with her and with her father, And thou shalt have her. Was't not to this end That thou began'st to twist so fine a story?

  Claudio. How sweetly you do minister to love, That know love's grief by his complexion!deg But lest my liking might too sudden seem, I would have salved it with a longer treatise.

  Don Pedro. What need the bridge much broader than the flood?

  The fairest grant is the necessity.deg Look, what will serve is fit. 'Tis once,deg thou lovest, And I will fit thee with the remedy. I know we shall have reveling tonight.

  286 affect love

  287 ended action war just concluded

  291 that because

  299 break open negotiations

  303 complexion appearance

  307 The fairest grant is the necessity the most attractive giving is when the receiver really needs something

  308 'Tis once in short

  I will assume thy part in some disguise And tell fair Hero I am Claudio, And in her bosom I'll unclasp my heart And take her hearing prisoner with the force And strong encounter of my amorous tale; Then after to her father will I break, And the conclusion is, she shall be thine. In practice let us put it presently. Exeunt.

  [Scene 2. Leonato's house.]

  Enter Leonato and an old man [Antonio], brother

  to Leonato.

  Leonato. How now, brother? Where is my cousindeg your son? Hath he provided this music?

  Antonio. He is very busy about it; But, brother, I can tell you strange news that you yet dreamt not of.

  Leonato. Are theydeg good?

  Antonio. As the events stampsdeg them. But they have a good cover, they show well outward. The Prince and Count Claudio, walking in a thick-pleached alley in mine orchard,deg were thus much overheard by a man of mine. The Prince discovereddeg to Claudio that he loved my niece your daughter and meant to acknowledge it this night in a dance, and if he found her accordant,deg he meant to take the present time by the topdeg and instantly break with you of it.