The Mysteries of Max BoxSet

by Nic Saint

  “Oh, but I mean them, all right,” said Dooley.

  “You’re dead to me, too,” I told Harriet. “Collusion with the enemy is not something we treat lightly, Harriet. You’re not part of this family anymore.”

  “You’re being very immature, Max. And you, too, Dooley. We’re all grownups here, so let’s act like it.”

  “Speak for yourself,” said Dooley.

  She rolled her expressive eyes. “Look. Last night at dinner it was pretty obvious that Odelia and Chase are developing feelings for each other.”

  “I think the word lovebird is appropriate here,” growled Brutus.

  Harriet gave her new mate an adoring look. “They were exactly like lovebirds, weren’t they?”

  “They sure were, honey pie. Just like us.”

  “Oh, sugar plum,” she cooed.

  I thought I was going to be sick. “What’s all this about last night?”

  “Well, since you weren’t there, you didn’t see it, did you?” asked Harriet primly. “But Odelia and Chase made the loveliest couple.”

  I exchanged a look of panic with Dooley. “Couple?” I croaked.

  “Lovebirds?” squeaked Dooley, on the verge of a panic attack.

  “Yeah, you should have seen them,” grunted Brutus with a chuckle. “Your regular Romeo and Juliet. Anyways, where were you guys last night?”

  “None of your business,” I snapped.

  “If you have to know, we were investigating,” said Dooley haughtily.

  “Investigating?” scoffed Brutus. “In your sleep? Some investigation!”

  “For your information, we cracked this case wide open,” said Dooley.

  “Dooley,” I said warningly.

  “You cracked the case?” asked Brutus. “You mean you caught the killer?”

  “We most certainly did,” Dooley confirmed.

  “Dooley!” I said. “Shut up!”

  “Yeah, shut up, Dooley,” said Brutus. “Cause I’m pretty sure there’s nothing to tell.”

  “We know exactly who the killer is,” said Dooley, ignoring the anxious looks I was giving him, “because we found a witness to the crime.”

  At this point, Harriet asked, “You talked to a witness? Who was it?”

  “Don’t tell her, Dooley,” I told him. “This is for Odelia’s ears only. Besides, I thought she was dead to you?”

  “She is dead to me,” Dooley confirmed, “but as long as she keeps asking me questions I can’t not answer, can I? That would be just plain rude.”

  “Entering the house of another cat when you’re not invited is rude,” I said with a pointed look at Brutus. “And so is colluding with the enemy,” I added with a nasty glance at Harriet.

  “Oh, I’m invited, all right,” said Brutus. “Ain’t that right, honey bunch?”

  “I invited him,” said Harriet. “This is my house, too.”

  “You’ve got some nerve,” I said, shaking my head.

  “I don’t see why we can’t all live together,” said Harriet now, sounding like a seventies hit song. “Why we can’t all simply get along and be friends.”

  “Because Brutus is a bully and a brute, and bullies and brutes don’t get along with non-bullying brutes like us,” said Dooley.

  “Kicking a friend out of your house is kind of a brutish move, buddy,” said Brutus.

  “You’re not my friend,” I said stubbornly.

  “A friend of a friend is a friend,” he riposted.

  “Well, since Harriet is dead to me that makes you…” I hesitated. This was all getting very confusing. “Anyway, I don’t want you here so that’s that.”

  Brutus grinned, displaying two sets of very sharp teeth. He patted my cheek with his paw. “Maxie. Baby. Your human and my human are inches away from getting it on, which makes us more than friends. The moment those two lovebirds move in together you and me are gonna be brothers, bubba! We be shacking up together. We be like homies, bro!”

  “Yes, Max,” gushed Harriet. “You should have seen Odelia and Chase last night. So Brutus is right. Very soon now we’re all going to be living together, so why don’t you let bygones be bygones and welcome him into our family?”

  “Over my dead body,” I growled, shaking off Brutus’s paw.

  Brutus moved in, and whispered in my ear, “That can be arranged.”

  I glared at him. “Why don’t I simply tell Odelia I don’t want you here?”

  “Yeah!” cried Dooley. “Maybe she’ll make Chase give you away!”

  “In your dreams, buddy,” growled Brutus.

  “Odelia listens to what we tell her,” I said. “And if we tell her we don’t want you here, she’ll give Chase an ultimatum: either get all loved-up and cuddly on her couch and watch Cops together, or get rid of his furball.” I gave Brutus a sweet smile. “I wonder which way Chase is going to lean.”

  “We’ll see about that,” he said, but I could see a hint of doubt in his eyes. He’d probably never met a cat that could make himself understood by his human before, and it wasn’t a gift he shared with us. He’d have no way of pleading with Chase to keep him, and I was pretty sure that if Dooley and I put our collective paws down, it was bye-bye Brutus.

  “You wouldn’t do that,” said Harriet, aghast.

  “Oh, but I most definitely would.”

  “He’s bluffing,” said Brutus, giving me a nasty glare. “He’s just trying to come between us, sweetie pie, and it’ll never work.”

  Harriet seemed doubtful, though. She knew what we were capable of when push came to shove. But she seemed to make up her mind and lifted her chin. “If you tell Odelia you don’t want Brutus here, I’ll tell her that I do want him here. That will make her think twice.”

  “You wouldn’t do that!” I cried.

  “Watch me,” she hissed, narrowing her beautiful green eyes.

  Dooley seemed even more taken aback. “You wouldn’t go against family!”

  “Of course not,” she said sweetly, “since Brutus is my family now.” She stared at the big, black cat adoringly. “He’s got qualities no other cat has.”

  “Like what?!” cried Dooley. “The fact that he still got his… nuts? Well, I can fix that. We talked to Odelia and soon it’s gonna be nuts on the nuts!”

  “For your information,” said Brutus haughtily, “my… situation is perfectly legal, thank you very much. A policeman’s cat has to set an example, so naturally I’m in compliance with the applicable penal code.”

  “Huh?” asked Dooley, not comprehending.

  “Brutus is fixed,” huffed Harriet, “and I can’t believe you’d stoop so low.”

  We both stared at Brutus. “You’re fixed?” I asked. “But how…”

  “Why the surprise, fellas? These days all the cool cats are fixed.” He gestured at us. “And a couple of losers, too, of course, to balance things out.”

  “But how can you be so… buff, and still be fixed?” asked Dooley.

  “Being a real hombre got nothing to do with what’s going on down there,” said Brutus, taking on the air of a mentor teaching his mentees a few life lessons. “Being a cat’s cat has to do with attitude, and the knowledge that you’re a superior being, not with the size of your… equipment.”

  I gave a snort. “You’re definitely not a superior being.”

  “Oh, but he most certainly is,” said Harriet, moving over to her new mate and stropping against him seductively. “The stamina this cat got? You wouldn’t believe it!”

  “Say it, girl.”

  “I am saying it and saying it loud and proud.”

  “Now growl it.”

  Harriet growled, and Dooley and I threw up in our mouths.

  “I’m gonna be sick,” I told Dooley.

  “Me, too,” he confessed.

  The cooing and lovebirding that followed was enough to make us both gag, and I knew this was going to prove a tougher fight than we’d anticipated. Not only had Brutus invaded our space and seduced our friend, but with Harriet he had ga
ined a powerful ally to convince Odelia to accept him into our home. Odelia loved Dooley and me, but she simply adored Harriet. Everybody did. Because of that snowy white fur people always thought she was the most beautiful creature they’d ever seen, and would stop at nothing to give her what she wanted. If Harriet wanted Brutus introduced into the home, Odelia would do it, against my and Dooley’s protestations.

  Unless… I gave Dooley a nudge. “Let’s skedaddle, buddy. We have a human to find and a job to do.”

  “But we can’t leave these two here!” he cried. “This is our home!”

  “And now it’s mine,” said Brutus with a smirk, and proceeded to stalk over to the couch, hop on, and make himself comfortable in my spot! Then he patted the space beside him. “Hop on, baby cheeks. Let’s have a party.”

  Harriet giggled, and without waiting for my approval, hopped onto the couch, stretched out luxuriously, and lovingly gazed into her new mate’s eyes.

  “Oh, crap,” I muttered. “I can’t take any more of this.” And I hurried out the pet door, Dooley in my wake. And as we rounded the house and made our way to the street, I said, “We have to do something about this.”

  “But what can we do? You heard Harriet. She’ll vouch for him.”

  “I’ve got the perfect idea, Dooley,” I assured him. “We’ll simply tell Odelia we know who the killer is, but if she wants us to reveal the identity, first she has to kick that brute out of our house.”

  “You mean blackmail?” asked Dooley, eyes widening.

  “Let’s just call it a bargaining chip.”

  He brightened. “I think it’s a great idea! Do you think she’ll go for it?”

  “I’m sure she will. She’s desperate to find that killer, so she’ll give us whatever we want in exchange for the information.”

  We hurried along, now on a mission to save our home from this intruder. Harriet was nursing a viper at her bosom, and we needed to shift him.

  “I can’t believe Harriet,” Dooley lamented. “Who would have thought she’d betray us like this?”

  “That’s kitties for you,” I said. “They see a handsome tom and they forget all about you.”

  “I thought she was our friend,” said Dooley dejectedly.

  “Well, she’s our friend no more,” I said with determination. “This is war, Dooley, and since she’s colluding with the enemy that makes her our enemy, too.”

  “The enemy of our enemy is our enemy, right?”

  I thought about this for a moment. “Not exactly.”

  Five minutes later, we strolled into the offices of the Gazette, and were surprised to find that Odelia wasn’t there, seated at her desk as usual.

  “Where is she?” asked Dooley. Then he gave me a horrified look. “Don’t tell me! She’s probably holed up with Chase Kingsley, making out on his couch, just like Harriet and Brutus!”

  “I don’t think so,” I said musingly. “Chase is staying at Uncle Alec’s place, and Odelia making out on her uncle’s couch seems… inappropriate.”

  “They might have rented a room! Humans do that kind of stuff!”

  “Not so soon. It takes a lot longer for humans to get their groove on than with us cats.” Last time we saw Odelia she hated Chase Kingsley’s guts, and I didn’t think one family dinner would have made such a big difference, no matter what Brutus or Harriet said. I knew Odelia, and even though she’d brought home some weird specimens, she never kissed on the first date. “Let’s check her other haunts,” I said now. “I’ll bet she’s over at the doctor’s office.”

  But when we went there, there was no sign of Odelia either. We stopped by the library next, and finally headed over to the police station. Now that Brutus had taken over my home, the station house was safe terrain once more. Brutus might be a lot of things, but he wasn’t capable of being in two places at the same time. When we hopped onto our usual perch on Chief Alec’s windowsill, my heart leaped with joy when I saw Odelia holed up in there with her uncle and… Chase Kingsley. But just as we arrived, she left.

  So we did the only thing a smart cat would do: we simply barged into Chief Alec’s office through the window, plopped down on the man’s desk, and, before his surprised eyes, hopped down and tripped after Odelia.

  “Well, I’ll be damned,” the chief grunted, then bellowed, “Odelia! Your cats are here!”

  Odelia turned back, and was all smiles when she caught sight of us.

  “Oh, hey, darlings,” she said as she bent down and gave us a cuddle. “Finally up and awake, huh?”

  “Oh, Odelia, we have so much to tell you!” Dooley cried.

  “Yeah, we know who the killer is!” I added.

  She gave us both a keen look but quickly rose again, and I immediately saw why: we were being watched with interest by Detective Kingsley.

  “Are these your cats?” the burly cop asked.

  “Yeah, they’re mine,” she said with a smile.

  “And they just come barging in here like that?” he asked, raising his eyebrows.

  “Your cat comes barging into our house, buddy!” Dooley yelled.

  But all Chase could hear was Dooley’s plaintive mewling, of course.

  “Um…” Odelia stared down at me. I could see she was eager to listen to our story, but she couldn’t very well do it now, with Chase and Uncle Alec watching on. To them it would sound like she was meowing, and might give the wrong impression. So instead she merely said, “Yeah, they’re very attached to me. Sometimes they just follow me around all day long.”

  “So you’re not just a nosy reporter but a crazy cat lady too, huh?” he asked.

  Odelia scowled at him, and I was happy to see that the two of them weren’t an item. And if my extensive knowledge of human nature was anything to go by, it would take them a while to get to that point, if ever.

  “If I’m a cat lady, what does that make you? Crazy cat dude?” she asked.

  Chase opened his mouth to respond, but he momentarily seemed lost for words, so he simply closed it again, and Odelia took the opportunity to stalk out of the office. Chief Alec, who’d laughed loudly at his niece’s comment, now said, “Shoo. Follow the lady, cats,” and sent Dooley and me on our way.

  I was pretty sure he was one of the few people who knew about Odelia’s ability to talk to us, and I was glad he hadn’t betrayed that secret to Chase. At least one person in this family wasn’t selling out to the newcomers in town.

  Dooley and I tripped after Odelia and joined her in a small empty office. The moment the door closed, she turned to us, and said, “I think I know who did it.” And when she told us the name, both Dooley and I were surprised to find that she’d discovered the murderer’s identity all on her own. When we confirmed that she was right on the money, she smiled. “Now to prove it…”

  After she had left, Dooley and I shook our heads in dismay.

  “There goes our bargaining chip,” Dooley lamented.

  “Dayum,” I said, then slapped my face. Now I was starting to sound like Brutus.

  Chapter 23

  After the disappearance of the laptop, it didn’t take Odelia long to figure out that her initial theory had been correct: there was something on that laptop that revealed the identity of the killer. And then it dawned on her. The Army of No. She quickly took out her phone and started googling. It was just a hunch, but her hunches often proved correct, so…

  The mention of this Army of No had stirred a memory of a horrific event that had taken place a couple of years ago. Her father had been marginally involved at the time, and she’d even written an article about the tragedy.

  She now walked into Chief Alec’s office and placed her phone on his desk and tapped it. “Check this out, Chief.”

  Her uncle quickly read the page indicated, and stared up at her. “No.”

  She nodded. “Yes.”

  “What’s going on?” asked Chase, mystified by this exchange.

  Her uncle gave her a slight nod, as he settled back in his chair and gazed out the win
dow for a moment. She took a deep breath before launching into her story. “A couple of years ago, a young teenage boy was struggling with his sexual identity, and finally confessed to his mom that even though he’d been born a boy, in his heart he felt like a girl. After a lot of soul-searching, they finally consulted my dad, who advised they talk to a friend of his, a renowned psychologist in Bridgehampton. They did, and over the course of the next couple of months became convinced that going through the transition was the right thing to do. The boy was still in high school, so they decided to wait until after graduation so that nobody would be any the wiser. He didn’t want to attract attention to himself, and make a difficult and sensitive situation even harder.”

  “I remember the case,” said the chief gruffly. “Poor kid.”

  “What happened?” asked Chase.

  “Everything was going as planned, when suddenly the boy was outed on his school’s Facebook page, pictures of him exiting the clinic where he’d been going posted and the whole story being displayed for the whole school to see. It was a serious blow to the boy and his single mother, but they thought they could overcome it. But then the taunting started, and the name calling and the nasty comments wherever he went. Finally, the boy couldn’t take it anymore and…” Her voice broke.

  “It’s all right, hon,” said her uncle. “I’ll tell the story if you want.”

  She shook her head, and continued, “A little over two years ago, when his mother came home from work, she found him in his room, hanging from a rope, a note on his desk telling her he was sorry to have caused her so much trouble, and that the world was much better off without him.”

  “Christ, that’s horrible,” said Chase, distractedly raking his fingers through his hair.

  “Paulo Frey was behind the outing of the kid. I’m sure of it. I googled the affair, and the initial post and the pictures on the school page were posted by the Society of No. I think the boy’s mother discovered that Frey was behind it. That he was the one responsible for her son’s torment and death, and that in a fit of rage she decided to take revenge and killed him.”

  “Who was this kid?” asked Chase now.

  The Chief and Odelia shared a knowing glance, and finally the Chief said, “Luke Coral. Rohanna Coral’s boy.”