Global Warming Fun 5: It’s a Dry Heat

by Gary J. Davies

  ****

  That night as he dozed off Ed sensed strange creatures in the forest. They seemed human but not human. They were very surprised to sense Ed, but not really surprised to have a mind-to-mind link with someone. Ed was shocked when he realized that they were telepathic. He was even more shocked when he briefly shared the senses of one of the group of three and saw what its companions looked like in the moonlight. They were big and hairy but not bears.

  "Sasquatch!" he muttered. “Holly cannoli!”

  Despite their obvious fear and disdain for humans they edged closer cautiously; they were very curious about Ed.

  Not wanting to alarm the others or to have a violent confrontation, Ed crept out of the tent and stepped cautiously through to moon-lit fern forest towards the approaching Sasquatch family: an adult pair and a juvenile.

  Ed was surprised when an owl landed nearby and scrutinized him. He reached out mentally to it and found that it was already being influenced by an external presence - a Sasquatch! The Sasquatch were scrutinizing him via the owl! Suddenly how the Sasquatch could survive in forests among dangerous carnivores and evade humans made perfect sense to Ed. They had much the same telepathic abilities that he did! Ed found another owl and used it to watch the approaching Sasquatch. The Sasquatch noticed and became more curious and apprehensive than ever!

  Abruptly they stood before him, though mostly hidden in deep shadow. Ed stood in a small clearing that was flooded with moonlight. He could smell them better than he could see them: a musky almost skunk-like odor.

  Even though he was expecting it, Ed was shocked when the massive shaggy seven-foot tall male at last stepped out into the moonlight to face him. There wasn't enough light to discern much color, but Ed thought that its fur color might be brown. Its face was more human-like than ape-like, but definitely not human. Ed sensed intelligence but not human intelligence. He could sense complex thoughts being exchanged between the three Sasquatch, but other than some emotions most meaning was lost to him. They had a language of their own which they exchanged telepathically!

  Ed reasoned that just as it had taken him decades to learn the jant language, it would likely take him decades to learn the Sasquatch language, so there wasn't much chance of him learning their language tonight. Instead he thought simple friendly, calming thoughts, as he learned to do over the years with all animals he communicated with. But the massive creature that towered above him remained as frightened as he was, almost.

  Finally Ed reached out with his open right hand, palm up, in what he hoped was a friendly gesture. The Sasquatch immediately reciprocated. Ed had his owl land atop his shoulder. The Sasquatch did the same. Ed released his owl, and the owl flew away in the night as Ed did his best to think positive thoughts. The Sasquatch again reciprocated in kind.

  Ed was wondering what to do next when the Sasquatch reached out its huge hair covered hand towards Ed, and in return Ed reached out and gently but firmly grasped two of its huge fingers. The fingers were callused and leathery.

  It must have been a friendly gesture, because the big creature suddenly stepped forward and enveloped Ed in its long hairy arms, hugging Ed against himself with alarming force and a mental barrage of friendly feelings. Ed's face has pressed firmly into musky smelling fur. There was a rush of non-audible Sasquatch telepathy and the hug thankfully became much less forceful. Ed did his best to reciprocate the hug but his was so weak in comparison that he couldn't tell if the Sasquatch even noticed the gesture.

  Finally the hugging stopped along with all tension between Ed and the Sasquatch group. The adult female, a head shorter than the male and a foot taller than Ed, and the juvenile male, a head shorter than Ed, stepped out of the shadows. All three of them circled Ed slowly, sniffing him, tugging on his clothing, and gently poking him, while exchanging thoughts like crazy! Evidently the close inspection of a human was a rare treat for them. Their musky scent was overpowering; Ed breathed through his mouth and struggled to keep from gagging but he couldn't help grinning.

  Then abruptly there was quick exchange of thought and alarm between the creatures and the female and juvenile disappeared. The male gave Ed a quick hug and was also gone. Ed was left standing alone, wondering what had happened.

  "Are you alright?" asked a human voice from the darkness. It was Doll, approaching from the direction of the camp as silently as a Sasquatch.

  "Sure," said Ed, "why wouldn't I be?"

  Doll switched on a small flashlight and shone it on Ed. "You're pretty far from camp. Do you smell a skunk or something?"

  "There were some odiferous critters visiting the area," said Ed. "I'll tell you all about it in the morning."

  Doll inspected the ground near where Ed stood. There were huge human-like footprints all around Ed. "Holly shit!" she muttered.

  "Not to worry," said Ed. "They were friendly critters."

  "Glad to hear it," said Doll. "I'm looking forward to hearing your tale in the morning."

  "What are you doing up and about?" Ed asked the Warrior Princess, as they made their way back towards the camp.

  "Skunk and I take turns standing guard through the night. Much of the time we perch atop the log that separates our camps, where we can oversee both your campground and ours. I saw you step away from your tent but thought that you were simply heeding a call to nature. When you didn't come back after a few minutes I got concerned."

  "I sensed company coming and decided to head off any possible trouble," said Ed.

  "Glad to hear that you're also on alert."

  "I just happened across their thoughts before falling asleep." said Ed. "Once asleep I snooze so soundly that a herd of elephants stomping their feet and thinking nasty thoughts wouldn't wake me. It's comforting to know that you and Snake take turns standing guard."

  "No biggie; we're used to doing it," Doll replied, "though we've usually done it in desert or mountain country instead of in a northern rain forest with Big Foot. You better change that shirt before you get back into your tent with Mary. You're covered in bits of long brown hair and really stink bad."

  ****