Renegade Hearts (Rebels of Sandland Book 1)

by Nikki J Summers

  “Let’s get this over with. Get you checked in and sorted out. The less time we spend here the better. I’ve seen enough hospitals this year.” I strode over to the double doors with purpose and the boys followed me. When the staff saw Brandon, they ushered him through to a cubicle and we followed. Kian stayed in the waiting room. He agreed to fill out the paperwork as best he could.

  An older nurse in her fifties came bustling into the cubicle and went straight to Brandon, pulling the towel off his wound and clucking her tongue as she did. She looked like the motherly type, all soft curves and sympathy, but when she spoke, she was anything but.

  “Jesus wept, what have you done, you stupid boy? Been fighting?” She side-eyed Ryan then tutted back at Brandon.

  “The other guy came off worse,” Brandon said, trying to give her a cheeky grin and twinkle his eyes. It just made him look like he was having problems focusing.

  “I’ll look forward to patching him up later then. It’s not like I have anything better to do here, in a hospital, meant for sick people.”

  Ryan muttered something about Brandon being sick in the head and she whipped her head around.

  “If you’ve got something to say, pretty boy, spit it out. I’ve got no patience for time wasters. If all you’re gonna do is mumble in the corner, you can get out.”

  I’d never seen Ryan be put in his place so abruptly.

  “Sorry, ma’am,” he said and sank back into his chair, staring over at me. Did he expect me to dive into this little shit-show and back him up?

  “And you?” She turned her attention to me now. “What’s a lovely girl like you doing with two reprobates like these on a Saturday night? Haven’t you got anything better to do with your life? If you were my daughter, I’d tan your backside and ground you for a month.”

  “I thought nurses were supposed to be compassionate,” Brandon said before I could respond. “I think I want to take a reshuffle.”

  “This isn’t Wheel of Fortune, Rocky. You don’t get to pick and choose who you see. If you want me to patch this up without leaving a shitty scar behind, you’d better show a bit more respect. They don’t call me the queen of stitches for nothing.”

  “Cool title… If you live in a prison,” Brandon replied.

  She laughed a full, loud belly laugh at him and then smirked. I could tell she was starting to warm to him. I think she liked Brandon’s banter.

  “I think I’ll move us to a private room for the stitches. The big boys always scream the loudest. Can’t have you scaring the kids away.” She chuckled and led us out of the cubicle and down corridor.

  “I won’t scream. I’m no pussy,” Brandon said, begrudgingly getting off his chair and following her.

  “That remains to be seen, boy. In my book, pussies don’t fight and end up in hospital on a Saturday night, dragging their best friend and their girl along for the ride.”

  “I’m not-”

  “She’s not his girlfriend,” Ryan interrupted me. The nurse, Constance it said on her name tag, turned and gave both Ryan and me a pointed stare.

  “Far be it from me to question whatever weird arrangement you youngsters have going on.”

  I huffed. What the hell was Constance insinuating? I felt Ryan link his hand with mine. He didn’t like her jumping to conclusions either, if his hand holding was anything to go by. Brandon looked back at us and then down to our joined hands and huffed his own annoyance.

  “What can we say, Constance? We’re into some weird, kinky shit.”

  “Brandon!” I snapped. “Speak for yourself.” And I felt the blush rise up from my chest, over my neck and onto my face.

  Constance laughed again. “I’m fifty-nine years old, boy. Nothing you say or do can shock me. I’ve seen it all.”

  We made our way into the private room and Constance ushered Brandon into a seat. I dropped Ryan’s hand and stood to the side. I felt awkward and didn’t know what to do with myself. Maybe I should’ve stayed behind in the waiting area with Kian?

  Constance busied herself prepping things for the stitches and cleaning the wound. Brandon hissed a few times, but he wasn’t about to show any weakness. Then she held a syringe up, tapping it, ready to numb the area for him, and Brandon’s face went ghostly white.

  “What the fuck is that for?”

  “Anaesthetic,” she said without looking at him. “Unless you want me to stitch that with nothing but a piece of wood for you to bite down on.”

  “I think I’d prefer the wood.” We all looked at Brandon as he sat up as straight as a rod, glaring at the syringe like it was an AK-47.

  “Great. You’re scared of needles.” Constance tutted again and forced her way forward regardless, aiming the needle at Brandon’s forehead, ready to inject around the cut. Brandon snorted and then slumped in the chair.

  He’d passed out.

  Big bad Brandon Mathers, bare-knuckle boxer and all-round psycho was scared of needles and had passed out in nurse Constance’s chair.

  “Oh my God. He’s out cold.” I gasped, holding my hand over my mouth in shock.

  “He does this all the time. He can’t do needles.” Ryan shrugged.

  “And to think I called him Rocky.” Constance laughed. “More like Mr T.”

  “That was planes, not needles.” Ryan rolled his eyes.

  “Oh, yeah.” Constance chuckled and then shrugged her shoulders. “Better get this injected before he wakes up then.”

  A few seconds later, Brandon came round, but he was groggy and didn’t put up a fight. Constance worked her magic, cleaning him up and finishing the stitches neatly. To watch her work was mesmerising. All the while she hummed along to a Lionel Richie song playing on the radio in the corner.

  “Make yourself useful, boy,” she said to Ryan, who was leaning against the wall, biting his nails. “Go and ask the front desk to send a porter down here so they can wheel him out.”

  “I don’t need a bloody chair. I can walk just fine.” Brandon went to stand up and almost passed out again. Constance pushed him down into the seat by his shoulders and huffed.

  “You’re not ready to walk yet,” she said. “Give it a few more minutes. People are always unsteady on their feet after an episode like yours.”

  “I didn’t have a fucking episode,” he growled back. “It was hot in here, that’s all.”

  “Whatever you say, love,” Constance said, giving Ryan the nod to do as he was told.

  Ryan pushed off the wall and threw me a look, then left. I watched Constance clear away the instruments and then wrap Brandon’s head up carefully with her bandages. When she was finished she came over to stand by me, with her back to Brandon.

  “He’s a handsome boy. They both are.” She gave me a knowing smile. “They both love you, don’t they?”

  I stuttered. “They aren’t my boyfriends. They don’t… We don’t…”

  She laughed and then sighed, giving me a stern, motherly look. “Either they’ll break your heart, or you’ll break both of theirs. If you want my opinion… Choose one and stick to it. You can’t keep them both dangling. That shit never works out. Trust me. I’d know. You’ll lose them both.”

  I frowned. “I’m not with Brandon. I don’t feel like that about him,” I whispered, so he wouldn’t overhear.

  She nodded. “And the other one?”

  “It’s… Complicated.”

  “Uh huh. Complicated and exciting? I was young too once. Be careful. You’re heading for a whole heap of heartache if you keep this up. I saw the doe-eyes they were both giving you. For your own sake, pick one and make sure the other knows.”

  At that moment, Ryan came back into the room, followed by a porter pushing a wheelchair.

  “Cubicles are all rammed tonight, Con. Think we’ll have to park him in a corridor or the waiting room until he’s good to go,” the porter said.

  Constance patted a grim-faced Brandon on the shoulder and smiled. “He’s a tough-nut. He won’t need a bed. You could park him in the ca
r park and he’d be all right.”

  Brandon grunted in agreement.

  Ryan and the porter managed to help Brandon into the chair. All the time, Brandon was swatting them out of the way and cursing them, saying he was fine on his own. And me? I was still stunned from Constance’s little outburst and looking between the two boys in front of me.

  “Made the right choice?” Constance whispered in my ear. “If you go with your heart, you’ll never go wrong.”

  If I went with my heart, would I be hot-footing it out of this hospital and never looking back? I doubted it. For some reason, these boys were pulling me in. But I always knew one was calling to my heart. I just didn’t know if he was playing with it in return.

  Another night, another shit-storm in the life of Ryan Jameson Hardy. I felt like my willpower was dying a slow death. Everything around me seemed to be goading me, egging me on. Making me feel like the control I’d craved was just an illusion. I had no control. Not when every little movement, every throwaway comment or look got my back up. I always knew she made me weak, but I’d been good at fooling myself all these years. Making it look like the pretty little liar didn’t affect me. Now, I wasn’t so sure she was the liar I’d always painted her out to be. In fact, I knew she wasn’t. She’d gone above and beyond tonight, for all of us. She was earning her place in this fucked-up little crew we had. Trouble was, I didn’t want to share her, even now.

  The porter wheeled Brandon out to the waiting room and I glanced over to see Emily talking to Nurse Ratched. Emily looked up at me as they spoke, and a blush coloured her cheeks. Usually, seeing her flustered like that would’ve spurred me on to up the asshole stakes. But something had changed tonight, and I didn’t want to be that asshole anymore. Not for her.

  I spotted Zak and Finn sitting in the corner next to Kian, and we parked Brandon up close by.

  “Who’s doing the close tonight?” I asked, feeling irritable and pissed off. Our parties went on for as long as they needed to, and it was still pretty early. With all of us sat here watching Brandon’s ass, there was no one to shut shit down. We couldn’t afford to lose money, D.J. equipment, or our reputation.

  “Cops came and shut us down,” Zak said. “We got everything out in time though. Not everybody, but…” He shrugged. “At least we’re good.”

  I knew that meant he’d closed any bets, collected money and got all our stuff out. We were good for another night.

  “Were you there when they showed up?” I asked.

  “No. Tom texted us with the tip-off. We cleared the place in good time.” He looked at Finn and they both nodded in agreement.

  We were lucky to have an ally in Tom. He was a local policeman. A good guy. He’d been a few years above us in school, and I think he liked the underdog. That, and living dangerously. Why else would a cop go out of their way to tip four reprobates like us off when a raid was about to happen? If it wasn’t for Tom Riley, we’d have failed years ago.

  Brandon continued to whine like a bitch in the corner, complaining about anything and everything. I had no filter and no patience for his bullshit tonight. He soon piped down when he spotted Emily coming over. Even he’d mellowed towards her.

  “Hey, Winters. You gonna come and mop my fevered brow?

  “Fuck off,” she snapped back.

  He clutched his heart, trying to be dramatic. “She loves me,” he joked, and the others chuckled along. Not me. I was getting tired of his sly digs.

  “You look fine to me. Let’s go.” I stalked towards the door, not even waiting to see if any of them would follow me. I didn’t care. Well, I did, but I wasn’t about to show it.

  When we got to the car park, I glanced back and saw them following a few feet behind. Zak was smirking, and he threw his arm around Emily saying, “You’re becoming one of us now, Ems. We’ll have to find a job for you. Make it official.”

  She grimaced and pushed his arm off in disgust. “I don’t think so. That sounds like everything I don’t want to do with my life… Ever.” He thought she was joking. She wasn’t. That girl was growing bigger balls by the minute.

  She whipped her phone out and started scrolling away. I knew what she was doing, looking for her friend’s number so she could get a ride home.

  Not happening, princess.

  I walked over to Kian and held my hand out. “Gimme your keys.”

  He fished them out of his pocket and gave them to me without question.

  “You go with Finn and Zak. Take Brandon home. I’ll drop Emily off.” I turned to walk away, but Winters had other ideas.

  “I don’t think so. I’m calling an Uber.”

  “Like fuck you are. Get into the damn car, Emily.” She rolled her eyes at me and I could tell she was about to argue some more, but she thought better of it and stomped over to the passenger door of Kian’s car.

  “I suppose I should be grateful. At least this car has a working door.” She opened it, got in and then slammed the door shut, sitting back with her arms folded and a sour-ass look on her face.

  She was pissed, but I liked that she still did as she was told. The perfect combination of challenge, sass and goddamn sexy attitude that sent a message straight to my dick. The others headed over to Finn’s car which was parked nearby, and Brandon shouted over to me. “Go easy on her, mate. Leave something for the rest of us.”

  Suck my dick, Mathers. It’d be a cold day in hell before I let you anywhere near her.

  We drove back to her house in silence. She let out the occasional huff, probably to tell me how fucked-off she was, but I liked the little noises she made. They had the opposite effect on me. When I pulled up outside her house, I shut the engine off and she got out of the car without saying a word.

  “Aren’t you gonna thank me for the ride home?” I asked, getting out to follow her.

  She spun round to face me, standing at the bottom of her drive and scowling. “Thanking you would mean I’m grateful, which I’m not. I was only at that hospital because you and your dumbass friends dragged me there. It wasn’t the way I’d wanted to spend my night.”

  I stopped right in front of her, making sure to stand a few steps too close. I liked pushing her outside of her comfort zone. I liked the way her eyes lit up when I got too near. “I’m sorry it was such a disappointment for you. Maybe I can do something to make up for it?”

  “Like what? Blow yourself up? Drive off a cliff? Ooo… The possibilities are endless.” She tapped her lip in thought and I stared. I couldn’t take my eyes off those plump pink lips of hers. The possibilities were indeed endless, sweetheart.

  “You did us all a solid tonight. And I’m not just talking about the hospital.” I bent down to look her in the eyes, running my fingers through my hair to give my restless hands something to do. “I never thought you’d go against Daddy like you did. Not for us. Those pictures you took… That was above and beyond. I’ve underestimated you.”

  I don’t know what came over me, but I reached forward to touch her face, cup her cheek and run my thumb across her bottom lip. She felt so soft, so delicate, and it was killing me how much I wanted to have this girl. Wrap her up, make her mine and never let go.

  I leant down, expecting her to melt into me for our first kiss. Shit, my heart was beating like crazy. I felt like I’d explode if I didn’t kiss her now; lock this down and give her what she wanted. What we both wanted. But no sooner had I leant forward than she took a step back and the look of revulsion on her face had me second guessing everything.

  She hated me.

  “I didn’t do it for you,” she spat. “If my dad is into some shady shit, I wanna know. I’ll do anything to help. But let’s get one thing straight… None of it was for you. I’m doing this for me.”

  I stood there with my mouth hanging open like a fucking freak as she stepped backwards, away from me, then turned and headed towards her front door. She didn’t look back, not even when she shut the damn thing. Just waltzed off like I hadn’t just put my whole heart on the line
, laid myself bare and fucking crashed and burned spectacularly. Thank God the others weren’t here to see it. I’d cracked open the doors to my stone-cold heart for her and what had she done? She’d ripped the bloody hinges off, ransacked it and then walked away, tossing the proverbial match behind her to set fire to the ruins. Only thing was, she wasn’t about to destroy me.

  Her fire only fanned my flames.

  Her demons fired up my own.

  And I realised in that moment, Emily fucking Winters was all I’d ever want.

  She was it for me.

  I barely slept that night. Thoughts of what Nurse Constance had said swirled around in my brain, clouding my judgment and twisting my reasons. Images of Brandon and his wicked intent made my stomach burn with the cloaked insinuations and seedy undertone. But it was Ryan that really consumed me in every way possible.

  I never knew where I was with him. Never knew where I stood. One minute, he’d be scaring me or taunting me, the next, I felt sure he was gonna kiss me. I replayed our last conversation over and over again, analysing every look, every word, and don’t even get me started on the touches. Ryan touching me had always felt like a shock to the system. But last night, when he put his hand on my cheek and rubbed across my lip, I felt like I was dying and being brought back to life all in one go. It was all too much. Too intense. I couldn’t breathe, couldn’t focus. It took every last bit of resolve I had to claw myself back and not fall into his trap.

  Because it was a trap, right? Why else would a guy like Ryan be teasing a girl like me?

  Looking into his eyes and seeing that need, it scared me. I moved away, because it was the only response my lizard brain could conjure up.

  Fight or flight.

  In a way, I chose both. I walked away from him, but not before giving him a parting shot and putting him in his place. I let him know that I’d made my choice. The choice Constance willed me to make before I left the hospital.