“I love it.”
“Then maybe it can be our place?”
I stilled at his words. The idea of a place that was ours, just for us, made me feel special. Like we were special. He pulled me closer to him and wrapped his arms around my waist. I placed my hands on his chest, but not because I was going to push him away. I wanted to feel his heart beating. I wanted to know that I got to him like he got to me. He lent his head down and brushed his lips against mine so gently I froze, scared to move in case I missed something.
“Is this okay?” he whispered as his breath mingled with mine.
I gave a slight nod, wanting to keep my lips as close to his as I could, and then he tilted his head and kissed me. Our second kiss, and this time there would be no dad to interrupt us. We had all the time in the world. He tasted like mint gum and every naughty, dirty thought I’d ever had. I wanted to drown in him and never come up for air.
I wrapped my arms around his neck and he bent down and then picked me up, deepening the kiss as I wrapped my legs around his waist. I felt wanton, free, and I didn’t care. All that mattered was this moment, being in this moment, with him. I’d thought the room was bathed in colour, but he just doused my whole soul in a vibrance that no colour could match. He was the spark that set my heart, soul, body and mind on fire.
He walked us backward until I felt my ass bump against something solid and cold. The altar. I sat on it, but kept my legs clamped around him. I didn’t want to let him go, ever. Our tongues explored, our lips entwined; this was a dance that I never wanted to end. The feel of his tongue sliding over mine made me hungry for more. The way it curled and teased me, tasting so fucking good. My heart ached for him, my body yearned for him, and in this moment, I wanted it all with him. He made time stand still and I loved it.
He ran his hands from my waist to my ass, squeezing and groaning into my mouth. Feeling desperate for more, I ran my fingers through the softness of his hair and then clung to him, like I’d die if he tried to break away. He was my air, my water, and everything I never knew I needed.
After today, I knew I’d never survive without this.
He pulled away first, but kept his forehead pressed against mine as he panted breathlessly. His eyes were closed, and I watched as he slowly opened them, showing me the depth of emotion that he felt and couldn’t hide anymore. I didn’t want him to. I’d fought against my feelings long enough. I couldn’t do it anymore.
“Jesus,” he said as he held my face in both of his hands. “I need to slow this down.”
Instantly, my heart hit the floor so hard I felt the thump in my gut.
“No,” he spluttered, seeing my solemn expression. “I didn’t mean slow us down. I meant this. I don’t want to scare you away.”
I reached my hands up to hold his face, just like he was holding mine and I kissed him, a soft gentle kiss on the lips, then I pulled away.
“You aren’t going to scare me away. You never have, and you never will. I want you, Ryan Hardy, rough edges and all. I. Want. You.” I made sure to emphasise the last part. I needed him to know that I was in this one hundred percent.
He wrapped his arms around me to hold me close, and buried his face in my neck like he was breathing me in.
“There’s no rush,” he said. I could feel his heart beating wildly in his chest and I squeezed him tightly to me.
“I know,” I whispered back. “I’m not going anywhere.”
We stayed like that for a while, me sat on the altar, and him stood in front of me, both of us holding the other like we’d found something so precious we were scared to let go in case the fragile moment shattered like paper thin glass.
Today, we’d given each other a part of ourselves that no one else had ever seen. He’d always be Ryan Hardy; tough guy, Renaissance man and one of the lads. But this boy, right here in my arms, he was my Ryan. Kind, gentle, loving, and all mine.
Reluctantly, after a time, Ryan pulled back and said, “There’s one more thing I need to do tonight.”
I smirked, having absolutely no clue what it was that he needed to get done. But I nodded, and he held my hand as I slid off the altar. Then he wrapped his arm around my shoulders and kissed the top of my head.
“It’s a guy thing,” he said with a hint of amusement in his voice.
Interesting.
Ten minutes later, we were pulling back up to the kerb opposite my house. I looked at my watch to see it was just before eight. Great. I was getting front row seats to watch Chase get stood up.
“Really?” I side-eyed Ryan. “You’re gonna make me watch him get shot down?”
“You don’t have to look if you don’t want to, but I’ve waited all week for this.” Ryan reached over and grabbed my hand, pulling it into his lap and threading his fingers with mine. Suddenly, I didn’t care what we were here for. All that mattered was him. I leant across and kissed his cheek and he turned to take my mouth in another toe-curling kiss. I loved the way we fit together so perfectly. His mouth over mine, our tongues laced together. The taste of him was hypnotic. I was well and truly under his spell.
We broke away when we heard a car engine roar to a stop next to us.
“Showtime,” Ryan sang, settling further down in his seat and winding his window down. We watched as Chase checked himself in his mirror, patting his over-gelled hair and then grinning at his own reflection.
“What a knob.” I shook my head and Ryan laughed.
“He loves himself way more than he could ever love anyone else. You probably did him a favour tonight, babe. The waiter only needs to put a mirror on the table. He can sweet talk himself all night.”
I laughed, but the fact he’d called me babe, made the rest of his words sound like white noise. I liked being his babe.
Chase got out of the car and we saw him root around in his pockets and pull out what looked like a foil packet. Condoms.
“Motherfucker,” Ryan spat, and I squeezed his hand as he tensed up beside me. Chase stuffed them back into his jeans and we both saw him smirk to himself. “I swear to God, I’m gonna kick the shit out of him one of these days.”
“Not tonight, babe,” I said, using Ryan’s pet name and he turned to me and grinned, then lifted my hand up and kissed the back.
“I don’t need to. I’ve got you. I don’t need anything else.”
I had to resist the urge to throw myself across the van and launch myself on him.
Yes, Ryan. You do have me.
Instead, we both went back to watching the farce that was my non-date with Chase unfold. He rang the doorbell, gave his hair one last pat and shape for good measure, and when my mum answered, he straightened up, no doubt giving her a full dose of the Lockwood charm. I could see mum frowning and then shrugging her shoulders.
Chase started to rub at his perfectly set hair, causing it to fall out of place as he tried to work out what the hell was going on. I wasn’t there and being told no was something Chase Lockwood didn’t like to hear, ever. Even when you actually said it to him, he didn’t listen. It made me go cold thinking about other times I might’ve said no, and he’d just disregard my feelings. I’d had more than a lucky escape. Ryan had saved my ass tonight.
Mum and Chase stood for a minute longer, Mum looking uncomfortable and probably asking him if he’d like to come in and wait, and Chase shuffling on his feet hopefully feeling like a prize twat. Then he spun around and marched down the steps away from our porch. Mum bit her lip, scowled and then shut the door.
Just as Chase was about to open his car door, Ryan beeped his horn and Chase’s head shot up. He narrowed his gaze like he was trying to make out who we were and then his face dropped. Ryan flipped him the bird, then he started the engine up and rolled the van forward a few feet to put us adjacent to Chase’s parked car. Chase folded his arms and huffed a laugh, looking down the road and then back at us sat in Ryan’s van.
“Fancy seeing you here, mate.” Ryan leant out of his window and gave Chase the once over. “Word of
advice, next time you so much as look at my girl, you’ll be drinking your food through a straw.”
Chase laughed and went to speak, but Ryan cut him off.
“You’re on thin ice, Lockwood. I mean it. Stay away from Emily and stay away from me. Understand?”
Ryan put his hand on my knee and rubbed it. Chase bent down, and his face turned to stone when he saw me sitting in the passenger seat.
“Enjoy slumming it, Em,” he sneered. “When you want to try dating a real man, you know where to find me.”
“That’ll be a hard pass, Chase. I’d rather stick pins in my eyes,” I replied sharply.
We didn’t wait around for Chase to give us another word. We’d had our say. He’d been warned off and neither one of us wanted to look at the slimy toad for a minute longer than we had to. So we sped off and left him to eat our dust.
After a few minutes of driving around aimlessly, Ryan pulled over, cut the engine and turned to me.
“Let me take you out, on a real date, not one I’ve stolen off Lockwood.”
“You didn’t steal anything from him. That guy is delusional. But yes, a date sounds… Nice.”
“Nice? It’ll be more than nice.”
He shuffled over to me and nuzzled my neck, making me collapse into a hopeless mess of giggles. I was way too ticklish.
“I’ll look forward to our better-than-nice next date,” I purred, finding his lips and losing myself in my Ryan.
“So?” Brandon sat forward expectantly, drumming his fingers together as they dangled in-between his knees. “What did you think of the asylum? Any good?”
“Nope. It’s a no-go. Too many corridors and empty rooms. It lacked… Spirit.”
He rolled his eyes at me and groaned. “We’re not looking for a fucking wedding venue, Ry. Just four walls and some kind of roof to accommodate us for the night. Do you need me to take a look at it?”
Over my dead body. I wasn’t letting him anywhere near the place. This was not up for discussion. I knew he’d have loved it. He’d have used that chapel as his own private MGM Grand if he could. But it wasn’t his to use. Not any more
“No point. I think we should check out the waterworks again. Or maybe the old foundry? We’ve had that place on our list for ages.”
Brandon looked at me like he was scrutinising every word, but he didn’t argue. Finn was the one who broke the stand-off.
“Did you get any further with Emily and all that shit with her dad?” He looked between Zak and me, but it was Brandon who replied.
“Fuck, haven’t you heard? Did we forget to tell you? Ryan nailed Lockwood’s ass to the cross last weekend over Emily. Dude got blown off faster than a groomsman with a Vegas stripper.” He leaned over and slapped my knee to congratulate me. Shifting from suspicious, to pissed off, to proud all in the matter of a few seconds.
“Nice imagery, mate.” Finn scowled and then laughed as Brandon filled everyone in on what’d happened on Friday night, like he’d actually been there watching the whole thing himself. He was like a proud parent with how he described it. I couldn’t tell if he was more proud of me for stepping in or Emily for going along with it.
“So, its official now? With you and Emily? You’re a thing?” Finn asked, and Zak smiled to himself.
“Yeah. She’s mine.” I shrugged, and I noticed Brandon grit his teeth. “You got a problem with that?” I asked, ready to go nuclear on his ass or anyone else’s who wanted to call me out on it.
“Nope.” Brandon shook his head, but he wouldn’t look at me.
“I’m taking her out again tomorrow. Any ideas on where’s a good place for a date?” I was aiming that at Zak, and maybe Finn.
Brandon piped up. “What? Is the back of your van not good enough for her?” And then wiggled his eyebrows suggestively. Prick.
“Fuck you,” I spat back, and he gave a fake laugh.
“Just remember which side you’re on.” Brandon sat back in his chair and tried to look like he wasn’t pissed off with me.
“Speaking of sides,” Zak stood up and wandered across his living room to gather some papers he had on his table, and then he came back to join us. “I’ve had a bit of a break through with this account. It seems Daddy Winters likes to keep things clean, if you know what I’m saying.”
We nodded, but Zak carried on like we didn’t.
“Looks like he’s laundering a hell of a lot of money through this account. A few of the names I’ve followed up have led me to some pretty shady places.” He turned to look right at me. “Let’s just say, if that was my girl living in his house, I’d get her the hell out of there.”
I don’t know what power he thought I had over Emily, but I’d need more than a hunch and Zak’s hacking skills to convince her. I needed solid proof that spelt it out for all of us. Alec Winters was a no-good, self-serving thief, and if my suspicions were right, he had more than money laundering on his hands. His were soaked in blood.
“There was one name that sprung out at me though. Troy Barker. Ever heard of him?” We all shook our heads. “A pretty hefty sum of money was transferred two days after Danny’s accident into an account in his name. It might just be a coincidence, but I’m looking into it. Maybe see if Emily knows who he is? And if you could get eyes on that toxicology report or anything, it’d really help,” Zak said, addressing me.
“I need more time. Danny is a sore subject for her. I can’t ask outright. I need to build up to it.”
“Jesus, Ryan. Can you hear yourself? Did you gift wrap those balls before you handed them to her for safe keeping?” Brandon snapped.
“She can do whatever she wants with my balls.” I grinned back, and he tutted, standing up to head into Zak’s kitchen and escape my smugness. I don’t think his sarcastic comment had got the reaction he’d wanted.
“I’m serious.” Zak pulled me back in again, giving me a look that told me I needed to stay focused. “I tried hacking into the official records, seeing if I could bring the toxicology report up or anything from the inquest, but there’s nothing. It’s like the accident never happened. Online anyway. Every trace of it has disappeared. Apart from his shitty interviews and the whole ‘our younger generation are doomed’ bullshit he spouts. We could really use a leg-up here.”
I agreed. I needed to man up and remember that I was doing this for Danny too. If anything had happened to me, I know for a fact he’d have stopped at nothing until he found out the truth.
I needed to bite the bullet and talk to Emily.
It was safe to say, Chase Lockwood was not gonna be welcome at our home any time soon. Apparently, he’d been beyond rude to my mum on Friday; who was home alone after Dad had had to make an emergency dash back to London on urgent business. She made it very clear that I was not to invite him back here again, despite the fact that his dad did business with us, otherwise he’d get an earful of her well-rehearsed lecture on bad manners and etiquette.
Sometimes my mum was awesome. Not often. But sometimes.
Tonight was my first official date with Ryan. He was picking me up at seven, but I had no idea where we were going and no idea what to wear. The guy ran illegal parties as his side-line, I doubted it’d be some upmarket club or bar and truthfully, I was okay with that. More than okay.
Ryan was the most real person in my life right now, aside from my girls. But I didn’t want to wear jeans again like every other time he’d seen me. Oh, apart from the white old lady dress I’d worn to the warehouse a few months ago. So, I went for a cute black skater dress. It was fun and flirty with just the right amount of sexy. Plus, the flared skirt meant I’d be able to scale a fence if needed without being restricted by the material. As long as he didn’t look up, that is. I’d have my ass on full display with the lacy thong I had on underneath.
I slipped on my heels and then popped a pair of flats into my handbag for emergencies, like uneven woodland floors or picking through rubble. I had to cover all bases, right?
When seven o’clock came, I hea
rd the doorbell and rushed to open it before my mum made an appearance. Ryan stood there looking like a tall glass of water in a desert. He was wearing a tight black T-shirt with tight jeans and a leather jacket. He oozed that sexy bad boy vibe and I knew I had to get him out of here before my mum copped a load of him and fucked up my plans for the night.
“Damn, Em. You look…” He looked me up and down like he was having the same thoughts that I was, but I jumped forward, slamming the door shut and cutting him off.
“Yeah, you too. Let’s get out of here.”
He raised his eyebrows, then must’ve remembered what my parents were like ‘cos he turned around and marched right after me, down my driveway, without giving the house a second glance. He made a grab for my hand to slow my steps and when I looked at him, he smiled and said, “Slow down. I want this to be special.”
We reached his van and I went to walk around the back, aiming for the driver’s door.
“Ah, no need. I got it fixed.” He opened the passenger side for me as I stood there gawping at him.
“You fixed it?” Nothing like stating the obvious, Em. Maybe I was a little more nervous than I realised?
“Yeah. I didn’t need to before. No one ever used it. But I had to fix it.” He shrugged. “It’s your door now.”
Most guys melted a girl’s heart with flowers, chocolates or jewellery. My Ryan had melted my heart into a pool of goo with a new door for his van. I honestly felt like dry-humping him in the driveway to show him how grateful I was. He was so perfect without even knowing it.
“No more climbing over the gear stick.” I put my hand over my heart to pretend I was flattered by the gesture. I shouldn’t have pretended. I was flattered. “I feel so special.”
“Em. That door had been broken for nearly two years. I wouldn’t fix it for just anybody.”
Renegade Hearts (Rebels of Sandland Book 1) Page 16
