Renegade Hearts (Rebels of Sandland Book 1)

by Nikki J Summers

“Your dad told you? You never saw any evidence yourself?”

  “Why would my dad lie?”

  Because he’s a self-serving asshole.

  “I don’t know, Em. And I don’t want to upset you, but you need to see if you can find that coroner’s report, or a toxicology exam or something. I have a bad feeling about this.”

  “You think this wasn’t an accident, don’t you?” The fragile look in her eyes almost broke me.

  “I don’t know what I think. Listen, Danny was a good guy. But what came out afterwards? It was all horseshit.” I took a deep breath before I hit her with the next bombshell. “Does the name Troy Barker mean anything to you?”

  “Troy is Dad’s mechanic. He maintains all his classic cars. He does other stuff too. I think he’s a jack-of-all-trades. Dad’s known him for years.”

  That made sense. If he maintained the cars, then he’d take a pretty nice sum home for his efforts. But something deep in my gut told me something still wasn’t right. “And you? Do you know him?” I asked her.

  “Not really. He barely speaks when he does come to the house, which isn’t often. They do most of their business in Westminster. Dad drives the cars to him. To be honest, he kind of creeps me out. He’s scary looking.” She grimaced, and I felt myself tense up. I didn’t like her being scared of some fucker like this Troy Barker, whoever he was.

  “Why does he scare you, babe?” I asked, shifting closer towards her.

  She smiled slightly, probably because I’d called her babe. I could tell she liked that. It always made her blush.

  “He’s got this aura about him. Like he’d take you out without breaking a sweat and probably smoke a cigarette over your dying body afterwards and use you as his ashtray. It’s probably the scars. He has some nasty scarring on his face. Dad said they were from the army, but I don’t think you get jagged knife scars from the military.” She shrugged. “I guess I just don’t trust him.”

  I was glad to hear it. Whoever this guy was, I didn’t like to think of him being around her. Not until we’d found out everything we could.

  “If he scares you, stay away. Call me if you ever need me.”

  She chuckled at me. “My knight in shining armour.”

  “I wouldn’t need armour. I’d kick his ass if he even so much as looked at you the wrong way.” I grinned then drew the conversation back round to Danny. “I think your dad would rather use Danny as a soundbite for his campaign than find out the real truth.” I didn’t want to tell her I thought her dad had Danny’s blood on his hands. So, I went with the political angle. It worked.

  “That’s exactly what he wants.” She took a deep breath and a little hiccup escaped. I didn’t want her to get upset. I wasn’t the best at dating, but I knew crying wasn’t ideal on a first date.

  “Babe,” I said, twisting to face her and taking both of her hands in mine. “Whatever happened, we’ll get to the bottom of it, you and me. But let’s not spoil today. Danny wouldn’t want you getting upset, and if he was sat here with us now, he’d call me out for being a jerk and making you cry.”

  She laughed through a little tear that’d escaped and rolled down her cheek. “I know.”

  “Please, don’t cry.” I brushed her tear away and leant forward to give her a little kiss. Anything to take her mind off the heartbreak she was facing.

  I couldn’t help but groan as she kissed me back. She tasted of strawberries, cotton candy, and every fantasy I’d ever had about her.

  I could get lost in this girl for days if she’d let me.

  She shuffled closer to me and her mouth opened up to let me in. I slid my tongue over hers and her hand went to the back of my head, pulling me in further. Suddenly, it was like the whole damn world fell away, and all I could focus on was her. Her mouth, and the way she felt in my arms, all soft and willing. I pushed her down onto the blanket and she let me. Then I put my leg in-between hers, lying over her and kissing her, desperate to take this further, but wanting to slow it down and capture every second of this in my memory.

  I’d waited a long time for her.

  I wanted to enjoy every moment with my Emily.

  There was something truly hypnotic about kissing Ryan. Even in a wonderland such as this, where the heady scent of flowers invaded your senses and the sound of the breeze blowing and rustling through the trees made you feel at peace, all that faded to nothing. He could make me forget where we were. The pain that I felt losing my brother wasn’t gone, but he did a damn good job at overshadowing it. When I was with him, he eclipsed everything.

  He lay over me as we kissed on the blanket in the middle of the park, not caring who was walking by. He set my body on fire. Made me desperate and wanton for him. The way his lips moved over mine just felt… right. Like we were meant to fit together like this. I’d kissed guys before, but no one had ever kissed me like Ryan did. He kissed me like I was always his, with urgency and a hint at the promises it could lead to. My body melted into his and I ran my fingers through his hair then scraped my nails along his scalp and down to the nape of his neck. I wanted to pull him further into me, drown in him if I could. I couldn’t get enough. The way his tongue teased mine had me squirming and moaning softly underneath him.

  Ryan was the first to pull away. I didn’t want him to, but he did. He stroked my face as he looked at me like I was the most precious thing he’d ever seen. He held his face millimetres from mine as he caught his breath.

  “Damn. What are you doing to me, Em? I’ve turned into a sixteen-year-old, making out in the park.”

  I laughed. I guess when you’re caught up in a moment it doesn’t matter where you are, you’ve got to go with it.

  “I’ve never made out with anyone in a park before, so I wouldn’t know.” His face dropped as soon as I said that, and I realised why. He thought I was calling him out on it.

  “I didn’t do stuff like that… I was just… I…”

  “Relax,” I said, lifting my head up slightly to plant a quick peck on his lips. “I didn’t mean it like that. I like making out like sixteen-year-olds in public.”

  He let me kiss him, but he soon frowned and pulled away again. “I don’t think I like the public bit. I don’t like sharing you.”

  “That’s something you’ll never have to worry about with me,” I replied, making sure he understood from my expression that I was as far removed from his brother’s ex-fiancée, Britney, as they came.

  “Me too.” He stared straight into my eyes and made my heart swell that little bit more for him. “We should really eat some of this food Connor packed for us.” He didn’t make any effort to move off me, just stared at my lips like he had other plans for them on his mind.

  “I don’t think I’m hungry.” I bit my lip and I noticed a fire ignite in his eyes as I did. “Not for a picnic, anyway.”

  He gave a low, sexy chuckle and then bent his head down to nibble and kiss my ear and then moved down to my neck. That was a weakness of mine.

  I groaned and tilted my head to the side, and Ryan moved further over me, grinding his hips into me as he did. I think kissing my neck and hearing my moans were a weakness for him too, judging from the bulge I could feel in his jeans.

  I didn’t have that much experience with guys, and I always thought I’d feel awkward and embarrassed about doing stuff, but with Ryan it felt natural. I wanted to experience everything with him. I wasn’t so naive to think he’d been saving himself for me, but I’d never seen him with another girl. And the stories I heard were always about Zak and Brandon. Ryan had always been more mysterious, like Finn.

  Ryan went from nuzzling my neck to kissing along my jaw and then back to my mouth. His hands had started to move up my body and he was squeezing my hips, then they were moving round to my ass, through my dress. I’d never hated a piece of clothing as much as I hated this one. I wanted to feel his hands on me. I wanted to feel him.

  I pushed him up off me gently and whispered, “I don’t think we should be doing this here.”
>
  He hung his head in shame and said, “I know. I’m sorry. I couldn’t help myself.” I didn’t like seeing the guilt that swam in his eyes.

  “No. I meant we need to go somewhere else.”

  A sly smile crept onto those plump lips of his and the twinkle in his eyes came back. “I think I know just the place.”

  He climbed off me and held his hand out to help me stand up. I took it and then stood, brushing down the skirt of my dress and trying to hide the blush that was staining my cheeks at seeing another older couple a few feet away, who probably witnessed everything we’d been doing.

  “You’re cute when you blush,” he whispered into my ear and then brushed past me to pick up the blanket and put it into the back pack. “I’m gonna enjoy finding other ways to make your cheeks go red.”

  That comment had me blushing even more.

  We walked back to the van hand-in-hand. I didn’t even notice the stunning surroundings, with its wild flowers and rugged beauty. But I did notice we were gripping each other’s hands tightly and were so focused on getting out of here that we were both panting as we walked. My heart was threatening to crowbar its way out of my chest and drop onto the dusty path at Ryan’s feet. And as for my body, every nerve-ending was sparking to life in anticipation.

  Ryan Hardy was fast becoming an addiction for me.

  An addiction I didn’t want to come back from.

  I’d never seen this side of him before in all the time I’d known him, well… known of him. He’d always been the aloof, guarded, quiet one. Not as quiet as Finn, but he didn’t speak unless he really had to. I wondered if he’d been like this with anyone else. I hoped not. I liked to think that this softer, sexy side was all mine.

  “You’re frowning. What’s up?” he said, pulling me from my thoughts. We’d reached his van and he opened the door for me, but when I got in, he stayed where he was and crouched down in front of me. “I don’t like those kinds of frowns. Talk to me. Do you want me to take you home?”

  “No,” I shot back. Home was the last place I wanted to go. “I just… I was thinking…”

  “Oh, God. This is gonna be bad, isn’t it?” He hung his head then looked back up at me and I reached forward to brush his hair out of his eyes. It made him smile and I felt a little less anxious about what I was gonna say next.

  “I was thinking about you… Us… And other girls.”

  He choked, and his eyes went wide. “Okay. Wasn’t expecting that. I’m not Zak. I don’t… What?” He looked at me like I’d spoken a foreign language. The weird, hopeless expression on his face made me give a nervous laugh.

  “I think I worded that wrong.”

  “Yeah. And I think I need to sit down to have this conversation.”

  He lifted himself up and wandered round to the driver’s side. I closed my door and turned to him as he blew out a few deep breaths.

  “So, you’re either asking me about ex-girlfriends or I totally read you wrong and you’ve got some fetishes that I never saw coming.”

  “You’re different… I mean, with me. You’ve always been this closed off jerk-”

  “Gee, thanks,” he cut in.

  “You know what I mean. You’re a jerk, most of the time. Sorry, but it’s true. I’m not saying I think you’re a jerk, I just-”

  “Get to the point, babe.” I stopped talking and took a few seconds to gather my thoughts.

  “I want to know if you’ve been like this with other girls. The way you are with me, I mean.”

  “Em. If you’re asking me if I’m a virgin, it’s a no.” He stared at his lap like he’d just heard it was the end of the world. “I’m sorry. I wish I could tell you otherwise.”

  “I know that. I’d kind of guessed that already.”

  He looked across at me and after a few breaths he spoke. “But if you’re asking me if I’ve ever been in love with anyone else, then the answer is no. And no, I’ve never felt like this before.”

  He closed his eyes and sighed. When he opened them, I could see honesty and truth there.

  “I like being with you, Em. I like what we’re building here. I do feel different when I’m with you. I feel like I can be myself. I might still act like a prick when we’re in public. I’ll definitely act like one around the lads, but that doesn’t mean that I’m not aching inside, desperate to get you alone again. There are no girls you have to worry about. Trust me.”

  “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have asked.”

  “Yes, you should’ve. I don’t want to put you on the spot about this stuff. But trust me. I’ll take all of this at your pace. You control everything.”

  We pulled onto the forecourt of Ryan’s family garage, but he drove the van down the side and then stopped when he was adjacent to the workshop. His workshop. I hadn’t told a soul about Sean, his dad, showing me around here. It wasn’t my story to tell and I kind of liked having a little secret glimpse into Ryan’s world. We both got out of the van at the same time and Ryan took my hand.

  “I wanted to show you something else. I don’t let a lot of people see this,” he said as he opened up and stepped back to let me through first, into his space. “This is my workshop. I make cars here.” He spoke quietly behind me.

  “Wow. It’s amazing,” I said, thinking I was doing a really good job of appearing startled and in awe. Turns out, I was a crap actress.

  “You’ve seen it already?” He smirked and shook his head.

  “What? No! This is all new to me. This is-”

  “My dad showed you, didn’t he?”

  I couldn’t hide my smile. “Yes. But before you go off on him, he just wanted to share with me how proud he was of you. Don’t get mad.”

  “Unbelievable.” He chuckled. He wasn’t mad. I wasn’t quite sure what he was, but mad wasn’t it. “I told him this part of the lot wasn’t open to anyone.”

  “Well, your dad didn’t think I was just anyone.”

  He must’ve thought I was hurt because he came over and put his arms around me to hug me.

  “I didn’t mean that. I meant he needed to go through me first. I don’t mind you seeing it. You could never be described as just anyone.”

  I hugged him back and then the corkboard on the wall caught my eye.

  “What is this?”

  It was the polaroid picture of me at the warehouse in my white dress, the one I’d seen hiding under the paperwork, back when Sean had given me the grand tour. Only this time it was pinned up on display.

  I walked over to it and flicked my finger underneath the picture. I’d hated that night, but then again, if I hadn’t gone, would I be standing here right now? On second thoughts, maybe I hadn’t hated that night as much as I said I did.

  “You think I’m a creeper, don’t you?” He tried to look guilty. It just made him look cuter.

  “What?” I said sarcastically, rolling my eyes. “You’ve chased me, freaked me out, scared every guy I’ve ever met away and now you have polaroids of me pinned to the wall. Why would I think you’re a creeper?”

  He laughed and picked up the camera that sat on his workbench. “When you put it like that, I sound like more than a creeper.” He lifted the polaroid camera and took another photograph of me smirking at him. When the photo shot out, he pulled it free and fanned it, then stuck it next to the white dress one. “I’ll own it. When it comes to you, I am a creeper. Maybe stalker sounds better? Or hunter?” He cocked an eyebrow.

  “Or guy who takes pictures and isn’t freaky or weird at all. I think I’d go with that. You have enough douchebag labels, Mr Renaissance.”

  He threw his head back and laughed, and I swear my whole body went into meltdown. I’d always loved it when he laughed like that, but here in this confined space, standing right in front of me, I couldn’t contain myself. I wanted to jump up and climb him, like a monkey climbing up a tree.

  “So, what are you working on?” I asked, glancing at the silver car that sat in the middle of his workshop. It’d transformed even more since
I was last here. I’d say it was ready to fly. It looked spectacular.

  “Working on? I’m working on trying not to come across as a douchebag to this really hot, really beautiful girl. Even though she’s probably thinking up a million excuses to get out of here and escape.”

  His gaze went from comical to lustful in seconds and he reached over and ran his fingers down my arm. Such a small gesture, and yet I felt goose-bumps break out all over me.

  “I think you’re doing just fine,” I managed to say as I struggled to catch my breath.

  He lent down to look at me with his hair falling over his eyes. I put my hands on his chest and I could feel his heart beat thumping, racing almost as fast as mine. He swallowed and then with a gravelly voice he said, “If at any time I’m not doing… fine, just tell me. No pressure.”

  I nodded.

  There was a sofa against the back wall and he took my hand and led me across to it. I kicked my ballet pumps off and sat down, curling my feet underneath me. Ryan edged closer towards me, then brushed my hair behind my ear and stroked my cheek.

  “Just kiss me,” I said, not wanting to wait a second longer, and he did. He crashed his lips to mine in a desperate hungry kiss, taking what he needed. This wasn’t sweet and slow like our other kisses. This was raw and passionate. He was holding my head in place and gripping my hair. I did the same, threading my fingers through his hair and pulling him into me. He moved his hands down to my thighs, pushing underneath my skirt and sliding them up until he was cupping my ass, my bare ass.

  “Fuck-” he said, pulling his lips away from mine, lifting my skirt and looking down. I guess he liked black lacy thongs, because when he saw what I had on underneath he went full-on animal on me.

  He pushed me back, so I was lying down and covered me with his whole body, pressing me into the sofa. Then his lips were back on mine; his tongue tasting and teasing me, his hands massaging my ass and his hips grinding into me. I kissed him back, lacing my tongue with his, loving how warm and sexy he felt. I ran my hands from his hair to his neck then I did some exploring of my own, dipping underneath his T-shirt to feel the rock-hard abs he had hidden under there.