Once Upon a Bad Boy--A Sometimes in Love Novel

by Melonie Johnson

  “What?”

  “Before you broke up with me … before you walked away.” She stopped, took a breath. “We, uh, spent some time in your car together.”

  The floor fell out from under Bo’s feet. His stomach going with it. No. Not possible.

  He hadn’t used a condom, but Sadie was on the pill. Had been on the pill for more than a year. “But … you were on the pill…”

  She shook her head, pink rising in her cheeks. “I’d stopped a few weeks before the dance.”

  He stared at her, dumbfounded. “Why the hell would you do that?”

  She bit her lip and stared at the ground, cheeks flushing hotter.

  “Did you want to get pregnant?” There. He’d said the word. It was out there now. Floating between them.

  “No.” Sadie shook her head fiercely. “But my reason was equally foolish. I’d heard taking the pill could make you gain weight, and I’d wanted to make sure the dress I bought fit for the dance so—”

  “My God, Sadie.” Bo groaned. He ran a hand through his hair, trying to wrap his mind around it. “When did you know?”

  “My body is like clockwork, so pretty quick. I suspected early June. And knew by the beginning of July.”

  “Why didn’t you tell me?”

  “I tried.” Her words were laced with accusation, a knife stabbing him in the gut and twisting.

  “What do you mean you tried?” Despite his best efforts, Bo could feel his temper rising. “This is the first I’ve ever heard of it, so you couldn’t have tried very hard.”

  “I came to see you.”

  “Where? When?” Disbelief punctuated each question.

  “Here! I came here, to your house.”

  “When was this?”

  “As soon as I knew for sure, right after the Fourth of July holiday,” Sadie said.

  “After the fourth…” Bo echoed, rewinding the days, going back to that summer.

  Fuck. The accident.

  “Luna answered the door, said you were gone, and refused to tell me anything else. Only that you wouldn’t be back for a long time.”

  “So, you just gave up?”

  “I gave Luna a message, told her it was important, that I needed to see you.” Sadie paused. “I begged her, Bo.”

  She was telling the truth. Sadie had tried to tell him. She had wanted him to know.

  “That was the summer of the accident. My Dad and I, we were likely still in the hospital…”

  “And Luna never gave you my message.” Sadie’s words dropped like stones. Hard and flat.

  Bo shook his head. “There was a lot going on. My dad—for a while we were worried he wouldn’t pull through—maybe she forgot.” He wanted to believe that, wanted to believe that in the chaos of that summer, Sadie’s visit had slipped his sister’s mind. But Bo doubted it. And by the look on Sadie’s face, she did too.

  A bitter laugh escaped Sadie. “Somehow, I’m not mad at her. She didn’t know why I needed to see you.” Sadie shrugged. “When you didn’t call, I decided that you stood by what you said, and you never wanted to see me again. I could have tried reaching out again, but I was angry. And scared. I didn’t want to force something on you that you didn’t want. Didn’t want to force it on myself. I had been accepted into the acting conservatory; it was a big deal. If you don’t get in that first semester, you don’t get in. If I’d given up my spot, I’d be giving up my entire plan for college, my plan for my career.”

  “Please. Your parents could have bought you another spot.”

  Sadie jerked as if he’d slapped her.

  “I didn’t mean that,” he began.

  “Yes, you did,” she called him out, tone razor sharp. “You absolutely did.”

  “Fine!” Bo exploded, temper snapping like a twig beneath his boot. “I meant it. You have fucking everything. Who cares if you go to a different college or do some other acting shit. You don’t even need to have a fucking job if you don’t want one!” His angry words bounced off the stable walls. Rustling the horses.

  “You’re right.” In contrast to his heat, Sadie was ice cold. “I’ve got a trust fund and a rich daddy, and now thanks to my grandma, I’m going to own this place. I didn’t need to go to college. And I don’t need a job. I did those things because I wanted to. And the thing is, I can, Bo. Because it’s My. Fucking. Choice.”

  He froze. She wasn’t talking about college anymore. “Abeja—”

  “No.” Her voice cut through his. “I came here thinking I needed to try and explain, to make you understand … but you know what? I don’t. I don’t have to explain myself to you.” Sadie walked toward him, chin up, staring him down. “What happened is in the past. We can’t go back. We can’t change it. If this is our second chance, our chance to make it right, we have to be ready to let go of our mistakes and move forward.”

  “Mistake?” That word seemed too small, too insubstantial for what she’d done. Bo pictured Toby. Gutted by the thought of his nephew not existing, not being a part of his life. He shook his head. “This isn’t some little accident. You had an abortion, Sadie.”

  Her face paled. But then her violet eyes flashed. “I know. I was there.” She moved toward him. “I was young. I was scared. And I had to make a choice.”

  “So did Luna.”

  She reeled back. “Is that what this is about?”

  He ran a hand over his face. “All I’m saying is that—”

  “—Is that she faced the same choice as me, right?” Sadie crossed her arms. “The difference is, you think your sister made the right decision.”

  Bo was silent, jaw clenched. He didn’t know what to say to her. He didn’t know how he felt. There was so much jumbled up inside him right now. Anger, regret, frustration, fear. Resentment burned in his chest. Why didn’t she tell him? Why hide it from him for so many years?

  “This was supposed to be our second chance, Bo.” Sadie held her hand out to him, palm up, the same as he’d done in her apartment. “Our chance to make it right, remember?” She sounded like she was on the verge of crying, voice thick with tears.

  The sound ripped Bo apart, but he stood still. He didn’t take her hand. He couldn’t.

  He didn’t know if they could make this right.

  After a long, silent moment, Sadie’s hand fell away. “I guess this is it, then.” She sucked in a shuddering breath. “I guess it’s my turn to say this.” Her voice was sharp, acid burning away everything but anger.

  “It’s over, Bo. For real this time.” Sadie turned, shoulders back, spine straight, and walked away from him, footsteps echoing on the stable floor.

  * * *

  Dusk had just started to fall when Sadie stomped out of the stable and out of his life. Hours later, it was only six in the evening, but full dark, the November night cold and cloudless. Bo sat at the edge of the hayloft window, legs dangling, watching his breath as it puffed into the air around him

  “Stay out here much longer and you’re going to get icicles in your beard.” His sister sat beside him, sliding her feet over the edge. “Shit, it’s cold.”

  “Get used to it. Winter isn’t even here yet.”

  “Thanks for the reminder.” Luna sighed, legs gently swinging back and forth.

  “I drove Sadie back to the big house. Figured it was too cold to walk.” Luna hesitated, and Bo could feel his sister’s eyes on him.

  “Did she say anything?” He couldn’t stop from asking.

  “She said a lot of things.”

  “Let me guess, I’m an asshole.”

  “I think the word dick came up more frequently. Dickhead, dickhole, dickwad. You know, variations on a theme.”

  “So it was an artistic choice.”

  Luna snorted. Then her tone shifted. “She told me what happened, said it’s going to be made public soon anyway, and better if I found out from her.”

  Bo sighed. “I can’t believe she didn’t tell me back then.”

  “Well, first of all, you dumped her, and second
of all, to be fair, she did try to tell you. Your bitch of a sister didn’t give you the message.”

  “I was hoping you’d just forgot,” Bo admitted.

  “Nope.” Luna’s feet kicked faster. “I did it on purpose.” The kicking stopped. “I had no idea Sadie was pregnant. I just knew you’d broken up with her and figured she was acting spoiled, wanting her way. I’m sorry, Bo.”

  “It’s okay.” His heart twisted in on itself as he tried to imagine what might have been. “It’s done.”

  “It is done. And I think, maybe it was for the best.”

  “What?” Bo stared at his sister. “You can’t mean that.”

  “Why not?” Luna blinked at him.

  “Because…” he sputtered.

  “Because of Toby?” She shook her head. “What does he have to do with this?”

  “Because you had to face the same thing! She was eighteen too. You had nothing, no resources, no help, and she had everything.”

  “Maybe if I had more resources, I would have done things differently.”

  “I can’t believe you would say that.” Bo shoved back from the edge of the window and stood. “I can’t believe you would think that about your own son.”

  “That’s not what I mean, Bo.” Luna scrambled to her feet. “I was saying, if my life had been different, I may have made different choices. And who knows where I might have ended up. I did what I thought was best at the time. The same goes for Sadie. If you hadn’t broken up with her, or if I had given you that message … do you think either of you would be where you are today?”

  Bo grit his teeth. “I don’t know.”

  “No one does! We’re human. We have to do our best with the choices in front of us at the time.” Luna took a step toward Bo. “You had a choice in front of you today, brother. Let’s hope you didn’t blow it.”

  CHAPTER 28

  IT WAS FEBRUARY, exactly three months until the release of Fair is Fair. Sadie had spent the first month of the new year in LA, networking and getting a sense for what she wanted to do for her next project. The rest of the time, she’d been flying all over the country for interviews on talk shows and podcasts. She’d flown back to Chicago to participate in Cassie’s new segment for ChiChat, a “Coming out of the Book Closet” special feature called “Book2Movie.” Sadie and Valerie Rose were scheduled to be the inaugural guests.

  The segment had gone smoothly, earning a thumbs-up from PR Meg. It had been fun to see Cassie, and Sadie enjoyed the chance to spend some time with Valerie as well. The author of Fair is Fair had become a good friend over the last few months.

  Last November, when Sadie had gone to Meg and told her she wanted to be the one to tell her story and expose her past on her own terms, there’d been quite a bit of backlash. But there’d been an outpouring of support too. An abundance of positive energy outshining the darkness and hate, overpowering the horrible things being said about her.

  From the start, Valerie had been a staunch and vocal supporter, declaring she couldn’t be prouder to have such a strong, passionate woman bring the character of Jamie to life. Thanks to the author’s legions of devoted fans, Sadie, or, more specifically Sadie as Jamie, became an overnight sensation, elevating the movie’s launch into the stratosphere.

  After wrapping the ChiChat taping in the city, Sadie had driven out to visit Nana, who was settled nicely in her new digs and already had a trio of gal pals. Her grandmother was officially a golden girl. Finally, Sadie faced the inevitable and headed to the estate, dreading staying in that big empty house by herself.

  Worse, it was Valentine’s Day weekend, and Sadie wasn’t looking forward to spending it alone. On a whim, she invited Ana over for a slumber party. She hadn’t seen her best friend often these past few months. They’d barely had time to hang out while Sadie had been filming, and when the abortion story broke, Sadie worried she might never see Ana again.

  She’d been afraid Ana was mad at what she’d done. That she, like some of the nastier people on the internet, believed Sadie was unforgivable. A lot worse had been said too, but Sadie had learned to block all that out. Ana admitted she’d been angry, but not because of what Sadie did. It was her body, her choice. No, what devastated Ana was the fact Sadie hadn’t trusted her enough to share her secret. Sadie’s lack of trust had cut her best friend deeply.

  Never one to wallow, Ana had forgiven Sadie and moved on. Now, on Saturday night, Ana was mixing decadent cocktails while Sadie sifted through a stack of romantic comedies.

  “Ready for ovaries before brovaries?” Ana asked.

  “I’m not sure you should be celebrating Galentine’s day,” Sadie teased. “Aren’t you dating Ryan?”

  Ana shook her head, the horn on her onesie wiggling. Since it was a slumber party, she’d insisted on the footie pajamas, providing Sadie with a black-and-white panda set, complete with stumpy tail. “First, Galentine’s is for every gal. And second, I gave your costar the ‘I just want to be friends’ speech before he left to film that dinosaur movie in Australia or New Zealand or wherever the heck he swanned off to this winter. Told him it had been fun, but it was time to move on, thank you and Godspeed.”

  “So, he’s not the one, huh?”

  “My prince charming?” The horn wobbled again. “No, definitely not.” Ana sniffed. “Ryan was grocery store cake. You don’t fall in love with grocery store cake.”

  “What?” Sadie laughed, watching as Ana set about mixing a cocktail.

  “Men are like cake,” Ana explained. “And I love cake. But I’m not in love. Not yet.” Ana drizzled chocolate syrup on the inside of a martini glass. “I have yet to find the perfect recipe. The right blend of richness, sweetness, and texture. The right balance of cake to frosting.”

  “That’s really deep.” Sadie lifted her glass in salute. “Respect.” She sipped her drink, considering Ana’s words. What kind of cake would Bo be? Not too much frosting. Sweet, but not too sweet. Indulgent texture. Decadent flavor. Sadie stirred her martini, smiling to herself as the answer came to her. A donut. Bo would be a donut.

  “You’re thinking of him, aren’t you?” Ana demanded, settling on the couch next to Sadie.

  “Guilty,” Sadie admitted, downing the rest of her cocktail. Her moment of levity faded, and she stared into her empty glass. “I don’t think he will ever forgive me.”

  “That’s bullshit,” Ana ground out.

  “Ana—”

  “No, don’t ‘Ana’ me.” She scowled, crossing her arms.

  “You look like an angry unicorn ready to stab somebody with your horn.”

  “I’m not a unicorn, I’m a narwhal.”

  “A what?”

  “A narwhal. They’re like whales, but cooler.”

  “But you have a horn,” Sadie insisted.

  Still huffy, Ana stood, fisting her hands on her hips. “It’s not a horn, it’s a tooth.”

  “Now I’m really confused.”

  “Never mind.” With a grunt of disgust, Ana grabbed Sadie’s empty glass and headed for the drink cart. “Back to what I was saying, if he’s not willing to forgive you, he’s not worthy of you,” she insisted, mixing more martinis. “I forgave you.”

  “And I’m not worthy of you,” Sadie admitted.

  Ana glanced up, emerald eyes sparking. “None of that. No pity parties allowed.” She rattled the cocktail shaker. “It was a shitty thing to do, not telling me. But I told you, I’m over it.” Ana topped off two glasses with chocolate shavings and returned to the couch.

  Taking one of the martinis, Sadie smiled, a squeezing bittersweet ache deep in her heart. Love and gratitude for her friend. “It meant a lot to me, you know.”

  “Yeah, I know.” Ana shrugged. “I wish you would have been honest with me in the first place. That hurt.”

  “I was barely honest with myself,” Sadie admitted, rubbing at the familiar burn in her chest. “I just wanted to bury the past, forget it had happened, and move on.”

  “We’ve talked about this.
” Ana reached across the couch, grabbing Sadie’s hand. “You can’t move on from something if you don’t face it. Hiding from it—or locking it in a mental box—doesn’t make it go away.”

  Releasing Sadie’s hand, Ana sat back. “Maybe that’s the problem.” She sipped her martini, green eyes thoughtful over the rim of her glass. “You haven’t seen him since this whole mess exploded, right?” Ana set her glass down. “So, how can you know Bo won’t forgive you if you haven’t talked to him?”

  “Isn’t it obvious? He doesn’t want to talk to me.”

  “Have you tried talking to him?” Ana challenged.

  “I told him I never wanted to see him again, remember?” Sadie moaned, rolling into a ball.

  “Oh, my said little panda.” Ana sighed and scooted closer. “Haven’t you learned by now?” She rubbed a soothing hand up and down Sadie’s back. “Never say never.”

  CHAPTER 29

  OPENING NIGHT FOR Fair is Fair had arrived and the crowd gathered outside in the warm May air grew even more excited with each new limo that pulled up. Local celebrities and politicians made their way down the red carpet to the movie theater hosting the premiere event, waving to the fans lined up on either side.

  As promised, Bo had scored Luna a pass to the event, and his sister stood next to him on the fringes of the crowd, bouncing with excitement.

  “Why do we have to wait all the way back here?” she wondered, standing on tiptoe as another limo pulled up, trying to get a glimpse of who was next to arrive.

  “Because I like to make you suffer,” Bo teased. It had been a long time since he’d seen his sister get this excited about anything. He was glad she was relaxing, having fun. The last few months had been good for her.

  Now that the carriage house and surrounding property were officially hers, thanks to Sadie’s grandmother, Luna had finally been able to indulge her passion, expanding her gardens, planting new crops, and adding a hoophouse, a greenhouse, and other landscape things Bo couldn’t keep up with. Since taking ownership of that bit of land, Luna had blossomed, the happiest he’d ever seen her.