Harmony of the Soul

by Monroe, Jennifer

  “You sent for me, my lady?”

  She turned to find Forbes standing at the door. “I did,” she replied with a smile. “I have a gift for you.”

  Forbes lifted his brows. “A gift? I am well-paid, my lady. I need no gifts.”

  She reached into her reticule. “You have no choice but to accept it,” she said. “Now, open your hand.”

  With a frown, he did as she bade, and she placed a silver band in his palm. “What is this?”

  “It is what I desire,” she replied. “I have kept my promise and have not mentioned a single word about the night we spent together, nor have I told anyone what we spoke about. But I have thought long and hard concerning what we feel for one another, and I have found the solution.”

  Forbes shook his head. “There is no solution,” he said. “I told you this already.”

  “But there is! Do you not see? Charles will return in a week, and the petition for divorce is already prepared. No matter the outcome of this birth, I shall request he file it immediately.” The excitement built and the words rolled off her tongue. “We will move to a small cottage where we will raise the children together. You can find other employment and I will be able to escape this farce of a marriage. Together, we will both be happy.”

  “No,” he replied, not even taking time to consider her suggestion. “You are a lady, a woman raised in a life of leisure. I am unable to offer you what you need, not on a butler’s salary.” When she went to argue, he took her arm and turned her toward the window. “What do you see?”

  “My children,” she replied. “My beautiful daughters.”

  “Do they deserve to struggle in life? Do they deserve a life where they must work hard, struggle, and lack an education? For that is what they will have if we leave here together. Do you believe Lord Lambert will keep to himself the fact you have left him for his butler? No one will offer me a position as butler once they learn what happened between us.”

  Tears filled her eyes, and her heart ached, for what he said was true.

  “Never doubt that there is nothing I will not do for you or your children.” His eyes fell to the swell of her stomach. “Nor for our child when he or she arrives. But what you ask of me, I cannot do.”

  “What am I to do, then? If the child is a girl, he will send her away, and if it is a boy? Do I still remain?”

  “Yes, you will, and we shall never speak about our feelings again.” He sighed. “Until that day.”

  “What day?”

  “Until the day your son returns to Scarlett Hall with his bride. On that day, we shall leave here together.” He opened her hand and placed the silver band in her palm before closing her fingers around it. “Know that my life is to serve you and your children. There are things I cannot say or do, for your husband will make me leave, but never doubt that my heart is with you and will always remain there.”

  There are feelings in a lady’s heart that are brought about by love, formed by a bond that words cannot explain. Then there are times, like now, that such feelings can never be mentioned, even as a whisper. This was a promise she would see Forbes kept. When that day came, and after her children found their happiness, she would once again have hers.

  And that thought would see her happy for many years to come.

  Chapter Twenty-Five

  Nathaniel took a step back in shock and he had to grasp the desk to keep from falling. “I am the son of a…butler?” The question was like a heavy stone upon his tongue as he studied his mother’s tear-stained cheeks. “This cannot be! My father was Lord Charles Lambert, a baron, a man of title, a man of the aristocracy.” His stomach roiled and he worried he would sick up every meal he ever ate.

  His mother placed a hand on his arm. “Charles never loved me, nor did he love any of his children, not truly. It was why he was willing to give Annabel to Silas in order to pay his debts. The only reason he saw you as different was because you were his heir, the boy who would one day take over his title. Nothing else mattered to him.”

  “But I thought he was a good man,” Nathaniel whispered. “And you hid the truth of who he was from us?”

  “I had to,” his mother replied. “I could not allow any of you to see him for who he was. I did whatever I could to protect you. All of you. You were just children and deserved a happy life.”

  Nathaniel nodded. His father’s love for the drink had worsened over the years, but he never would have thought he raised a fist to his mother. If he had known, the man would have died sooner than he had! Striking a woman was despicable. In his opinion, there was no place for such abhorrent behavior.

  “Now, concerning Forbes…”

  “I am not angry, Mother,” he replied. “Or rather I am not angry at you. You were hurting, vulnerable, and he took advantage of you in your weakened state.”

  She shook her head. “No, he did not. We were in love then as much as we are today. Your father is a good man.”

  Nathaniel had to bite his tongue to keep from shouting at his mother. Never had he raised his voice to her, and he would not begin now. She had been duped by a man willing to cross a line that should never be crossed, and therefore he would not take it out on her.

  Yet, he wanted to wail, to cry, ‘I am the son of a baron, not a butler!’ If the truth were ever revealed, he would be shamed for eternity. He would lose everything. But that was not what held his anger at the moment. Rage filled him as he thought of how his father, how Charles had treated his mother. The things he had done that pushed her into the arms of another man. Into the arms of a butler.

  “He cares for you, Nathaniel. And your sisters. He has done more than any woman could ask of a man.”

  Nathaniel drew in a deep, calming breath, although it did little to soothe him. “That may be so,” he replied, “but we shall not speak of this again. I cannot have this revealed or everything I have will be ruined.”

  “Please, speak to him. Ask him questions as you have asked me. I believe you will find his motives were pure.”

  Although part of him wanted to understand why Forbes had done what he had, Nathaniel would not speak to him. Whatever friendship they once had was now over, and he would avoid the man for the time being.

  “I sent a letter to Mr. Radcliffe to request a moment to speak to him. I will do whatever I am able to win his approval. One way or another, I will return with Harmony as my wife. If you wish to leave with Forbes, I cannot stop you, but I cannot have that man in my house upon my return.”

  She sighed. “I know you are furious, and you have every right to be, but I am the source of that anger, not he.”

  “No, Mother,” he said, pulling her in for an embrace. “You are not at fault. But I will not speak a word to him about any of this. Better yet, let us carry on as if I do not know. It will make the time before I must ask him to leave easier to endure for everyone.”

  “If that is what you wish.” She had a sad note to her voice, but he ignored it.

  “It is.”

  Holding his mother, Nathaniel considered what she had revealed to him. How he wished to tell her that many times, in secret, he had wished Forbes was his father, for he had been the one who was there with ready advice when Charles was off roving across the country like some sort of nomad. How many women had he called upon during his time away from home? And did he treat his mistresses as terribly as he had Nathaniel’s mother?

  No, he could not torture himself with such questions, for Charles was not there to respond, and conjecture would get him nowhere.

  All these years, it was Forbes who lent an ear and served the Lambert family with pride. Yet to see the man as more than a butler would be impossible, for, by doing so, Nathaniel would be forced to admit that he was the product of an affair and was nothing more than a bastard. And that was something he was not willing to do.

  Chapter Twenty-Six

  Although Harmony did not wish to admit it, the notion of never hearing from Nathaniel again was becoming a reality. She and her parents had
returned ten days earlier and she had yet to hear a single word from the man she loved.

  At the very least she expected a letter explaining that he still cared for her, that he still wished to marry her, but none had come. Nor had he called to her home. Would he not come to inform her father that their courtship and eventual marriage had not come to an end? That their love, although not yet spoken outright, could not be stopped? Would he not fight for her? As the days passed, her faith that he would do so waned.

  Sitting on the edge of her bed, she glanced up when her mother entered the room.

  “Have Lydia redo your hair,” her mother said with a frown. “I do not like it hanging loose like a child, and neither will Henry.”

  “I care nothing about that man’s opinion,” Harmony said. “He is a liar, for one. Furthermore, he has treated me cruelly before, why would he not do so again?”

  Her mother’s frown deepened to a scowl. “How dare you speak ill of the man who is still willing to court you?” she asked. “Even after what Lord Lambert had done to him and the disrespect you have shown, he is still willing to consider you as a potential mate. Few women would receive a second chance like this.”

  In the past, Harmony would have cowed and given in without an argument, but she was finding it more difficult every day to keep her opinions to herself. “My heart belongs to Nathaniel, not Lord Miller. Nor shall it ever. Why do you prefer him over Nathaniel? Has he offered to purchase a country estate for you?”

  Lights flickered behind her eyelids after her mother slapped her across the face. “Since the day you were born, I have done everything possible to see you raised to become a lady. Your father spent his days thinking not of himself, but rather of you. Therefore, tonight you will show Henry the respect he deserves and give him no reason to dismiss you. It is the least you can do for what we have done for you.” She gave a heavy sigh. “You should be thankful he wishes to continue doing business with your father after what you put him through.”

  Harmony rose from the bed, a renewed fearlessness filling her. “I love Nathaniel and I know he loves me. That will never change.”

  Her mother laughed. “And yet he is not here. It seems he has gone silent on what he feels for you.” She gave Harmony a sympathetic look, but Harmony doubted its authenticity. “Perhaps you have been duped by the man in more ways than you realize. Or maybe the shame of knowing the company his mother keeps has sent him into hiding.”

  Harmony’s heart went out to Lady Lambert. Although what she saw was shocking, she did not see the woman as the harlot her parents made her out to be.

  “Enough talk about the past,” her mother said. “Finish dressing, for Henry will arrive soon.” Then she turned and walked out the door.

  With a sigh, Harmony looked at her reflection. Lydia had spent a great deal of time on her hair already, and the thought of asking her to redo it appalled her. Yet, what little courage she had mustered in defense of Nathaniel did not cover defense of her hair.

  The door opened, startling her, and Lydia entered the room. She peeked through the crack before closing the door behind her. “I have brought news,” she said with a sense of excitement. “Look what I found!” She reached into the pocket of her apron and pulled out a letter.

  “What is it?” Harmony asked as Lydia placed the parchment in her hand.

  “Your father left it in the sitting room,” Lydia replied. “I didn’t read it, but I heard him say it’s from Lord Lambert.”

  Harmony’s heart raced as she opened the letter and began to read the words addressed to her father.

  Dear Mr. Radcliffe,

  It is with the utmost humbleness that I write to you today to apologize to you and your wife for what occurred during your stay at my home. I understand your concerns, but I would also like a chance to clarify what you saw. This can only be done in person, and thus I would like to call on you in order to clear up any misgivings you may have about me or my family.

  I also wrote Harmony in hopes that her feelings for me have not changed, and although I have yet to receive a reply, it is my hope we will be able to move past this misunderstanding and move forward with our plans of a future together.

  Please reply with the date and time to call that is most convenient for you.

  Sincerely,

  Nathaniel Lambert

  Harmony gaped at Lydia. “He sent me a letter?” she said. “Why have I not yet received it?”

  “Because you have been forbidden to speak to him again.”

  Harmony spun about and found her mother standing in the doorway. How had she entered the room without neither she nor Lydia seeing or hearing her? “Mother, I…”

  Her mother snatched the letter from her hand. “Where did you find this?” She then turned a scowl on Lydia. “Is this your doing? Did you bring this to her?”

  Refusing to allow Lydia to fall victim to her mother’s wrath, Harmony said, “I went to speak to Father and found it on his desk. I would like to know what became of the letter Nathaniel sent me.”

  “It was read and disposed of,” her mother replied, her lips pursed as if she had taken a bite of a lemon. “Your father already replied to Lord Lambert, refusing his request. Do not think that your father will not hear what you have done, but we have more immediate concerns. Finish dressing. And I already told you I do not like your hair, so Lydia, you will redo that. Henry will arrive in an hour, so you do not have much time.”

  Tears rolled down Harmony’s face as her mother bustled out of the room. Lydia pulled her close, and Harmony sobbed into her shoulder.

  “What will I do?” she asked, accepting the handkerchief Lydia offered her. “I know Lord Miller will be asking permission to court me, and I will have no choice!”

  Lydia pursed her lips for a moment. “We’ll think of something,” she said. “I don’t know what we’ll do, but rest assured, I’ll come up with some sort of plan.”

  Harmony gave the woman a smile. “Thank you,” she said, wiping at her eyes.

  “Until then, let me do your hair again.” She clicked her tongue. “And you look so lovely. Well, we’ve more important matters to worry about. Your hair is the least of them.”

  With a nod, Harmony took a seat in front of the vanity table and looked at her reflection. The thought of being made to entice Lord Miller made bile rise in her throat. Now more than ever she needed Nathaniel, and she prayed he would come despite her father’s refusal.

  Chapter Twenty-Seven

  Lord Henry Miller, Earl of Parrington, relished in his victory. Although his men had balked at the idea of assaulting him, his genius plan had been more successful than he would have ever considered. Yet, it was Harmony’s reaction that caused him the most joy, for her eyes were those of a conquered woman.

  They had yet to discuss their future, but it was clear she knew her fate and had finally come to terms with it – a life serving him as his wife, a rare beauty he could parade about on his arm who would also fulfill every carnal desire in him. For the truth was, Harmony was a prize, a reward for his endless pursuit to find happiness, for the hours he had been forced to endure her father’s incessant prattle.

  Faint traces of the bruises he received remained around his eyes. Most believed they were what remained of the beating Lord Lambert had sent after him, but Henry knew they were marks of all he was willing to do to have Harmony.

  “Would you care for more wine?”

  Henry looked at his glass. “Yes, thank you,” he replied with a smile for Harmony’s father. A footman hurried over, and Henry added, “In fact, I believe it would be best if our glasses were full, for I wish to make an announcement.” He gave a courteous nod to Mr. Radcliffe. “With your permission, of course.”

  Mr. Radcliffe uttered his approval, and Henry turned his gaze on Harmony. Did the woman realize the lengths to which he had gone to secure her hand? Likely not, but she would learn of it in time. Once he had won and she was his wife, if she knew the truth, all the better. What a marvelous way to
keep control of her!

  When their glasses were once again filled, Henry lifted his. “First, I am pleased to see you have returned safely from Wiltshire. Although Lambert has a great reach, I believe he would never dare think of crossing a man of your tenacity and capability.” He chuckled. “No man would be that foolish.”

  The prideful grin Mr. Radcliffe gave him was what Henry had hoped to see. Although most in the ton recognized the man’s foolishness, and thus ignored him, Henry used it to his advantage. What he found was, the more he slathered on the praise, the more Mr. Radcliffe accepted him. The man was a fool, indeed!

  “It is a shame you were forced to leave that godforsaken part of the country as you did, but in your despair and with great sacrifice, you and your lovely wife were able to protect Harmony from whatever shame she would have been forced to endure. My respect for you has doubled because of this.”

  It still rankled him that the man refused to explain what exactly had brought about their abrupt departure. All Mr. Radcliffe revealed was that Lady Lambert was a woman of loose morals and that he refused to have his daughter exposed to such circumstances. To have such wonderful dirt on the baron and his family would give Henry a means to crush the Lambert name once and for all!

  Well, now was not the time to inquire further, so he continued with his toast. “It is my respect for your family that brings me to what I wish to ask this evening. I would like to court your daughter.”

  Mrs. Radcliffe smiled. “This is truly wonderful news. Do you not think so, Harmony?”

  Henry looked at Harmony, her green eyes causing a stirring within him. Now was his moment of triumph, the culmination of his labors to make her his.

  “Thank you, my lord,” she whispered.

  Thank you? he screamed in his head, although he maintained his smile. That was all she had to say on the matter? Yet, what had he expected? Despite whatever had occurred at Scarlett Hall, the woman likely had not lost her affection for Lambert. It would be up to him to see she forgot about that man, and soon!