by T. A. White
His lips curved. "You know that's not happening."
Kira lifted a shoulder. It was worth a shot.
"How long do you think you can keep me here?" Kira asked.
"I've already beaten Luatha's record by several weeks. Most would agree I'm not doing too bad."
Kira's eyes narrowed. He had a point, but in all that time, he had not once made any effort to see her. If he really cared about her because of her relation to his brother, you'd think he'd want to introduce himself. Maybe try to get to know her.
He hadn't. So, either he was lying, or there were things she didn't understand.
"I’ve been thinking about why you chose the warrior’s path, and I think I understand now,” he said after several moments.
Kira waited.
“You think passing the Trial of the Broken will get you what you want,” he said.
“And what’s that?” Kira asked.
“The respect of the House and sponsorship to the adva ka,” her uncle said.
Kira wasn’t concerned he’d guessed right. Graydon had done the same. Even an idiot would be able to see her motives.
“It’s not a bad plan,” the Overlord said, settling in his seat. “But the uhva na is simply the first hurdle on the way to the adva ka. If you pass, you’ll be appointed a mentor. They will determine when you advance. Passing the uhva na won’t solve all your problems.”
"It's a start." That's all she needed.
Tuann law was clear on this point. Those who passed the adva ka achieved a certain level of freedom not available to those who hadn't. They could choose their course. Whether that was to pledge themselves to their old House or find a new one was up to them,
"As long as your path leads you to the Tuann," he said softly. "Right now, you think you will be able to leave and never return. That is a fallacy."
"Oh?" There was danger in Kira's tone. She didn't like threats—especially when they came from supposed family.
He shifted, his expression relaxing as if her response had assured him of something important. "The humans have something called an energy vampire in their myths, yes?"
Kira stared at him, not answering.
He continued with an air of finality. "It is as good an example as any. Tuann are dependent on our links with others and the Mea'Ave. One of the reasons your ki started to poison you was because you had no access to the Mea’Ave when grief broke your few connections. Spend too long away from the Mea’Ave or your brethren, and it will start happening again."
An instinctive denial filled Kira. "Quillon said it was because I used too much ki too quickly."
"He is right, but what he no doubt hesitated to tell you was that trauma starts the process," her uncle said. "Devastating loss coupled with an explosive release of ki. You never replaced any of those relationships, did you?"
Kira's gaze shifted away from him as she stared unseeing at the wall.
"Deprived of the emotional and physical links to others can cause a Tuann to fade. The Mea'Ave sustains us as we sustain it. You'll always be tied to us. Accept it as your due and adjust your goals to take that into account," he told her.
Her gaze snapped to his. "I'm ninety-two. For a human, that's not half bad."
He studied her, judging her seriousness. After a moment, he shook his head. "No, you're not the sort to give in. You've seen too much of death to be any other way." Hie expression filled with certainty. "You'll keep fighting because to do otherwise would dishonor those you've lost."
Quiet fell between them.
"Tell me I'm wrong," he challenged.
"You're wrong." There was no hesitation in Kira's answer.
"Liar." His chin dipped as a faint smile touched his lips.
Kira's jaw flexed, hating he knew her that well. He was right. She could no more let death take her than Jin could resist a challenge.
Her uncle reached out and touched the disrupter. "This can help you learn to manage your ki, but it can't change reality."
Kira held his gaze, unable to hide the stubbornness that refused to accept his words.
He sat back. "I'm sure you'll need time to come to terms with this."
There was no coming to terms. Kira wouldn’t let her life be derailed. Even if what he said was true, she'd find a way around it. If she had to make regular visits to Tuann worlds to get her dose of Mea'Ave that's what she would do.
Her uncle's face was thoughtful as he considered her. "You've caused a stir. No one, not even an oshota, has ever attempted that course alone and walked away. You took a risk. The drones might not cause death, but they can burn out your mind."
"Maybe now you and yours will stop treating me like I'm a child in need of saving," Kira suggested.
His lips twisted. "I'm nearly two thousand years old as humans measure it. You'll always be a child to me."
Kira blinked, unable to compute the magnitude of his age. He looked maybe middle-aged, if she stretched it. The only clue to his long years was the press of experience hiding in his eyes. The sort that said he'd seen and done everything and lived to tell the tale.
"Didn't expect that, did you?" He seemed amused by her surprise. "The Tuann are an old race. Our children are rare and precious because of it."
The way he said it caught Kira's attention. "How many children did you lose to the Sorrowing?"
Harlow didn't answer, a blend of rage and pain, sorrow and sadness lingering in his expression. It was a cocktail Kira knew intimately.
"All of them," he finally revealed. “Every child we had. Over seventy in our House alone. The other Houses weren’t as hard struck as ours, but they suffered losses as well. Until you were found, we thought all the children had died shortly after they disappeared.”
No wonder they refused to let her go. To do so would be like reliving the Sorrowing all over again.
“Your father was so happy when he learned your mother was pregnant with you,” Harlow said.
Kira quelled her instinctive desire to leap on his words and demand more. Her parents were little more than figments to her. Not quite real. Stories about fictional people that had little to do with Kira.
Despite that, she couldn’t help wondering who these two strangers were. What they had been like.
“He called you his little miracle.” Harlow’s expression held a faint note of reminiscence. Memories of her father were happy ones.
Harlow focused on Kira. “Neither of your parents expected to fall in love with each other. Their union was a political match, arranged by the emperor to foster peace between Luatha and Roake.”
“Did it work?” Kira asked.
Harlow’s head tilted. “After a fashion. Liliana’s sister, Leigha, was the Overlord, and from what I saw the two loved each other dearly. Leigha wouldn’t have lightly considered an action that would have led to putting your mother in danger.”
Kira read that as Leigha would act in the best interest of her House against her sister’s new husband, even if it made her feel like crap inside. Such was the responsibility of being a leader. You didn’t always get to act according to the needs of your heart.
“I’m guessing they managed to fall into something,” Kira said.
Harlow inclined his head. “Against all odds. My brother and Liliana were a surprisingly good match. Harding was the gentler soul of the two. Not to say they weren’t both warriors. Liliana was surprisingly well versed in the art of the blade given she came from a House comprised primarily of artisans.”
“She was your friend,” Kira guessed. The way he talked about her was too familiar for that of a near stranger, brother-in-law or not.
Harlow’s lips quirked. “That surprises you.”
Kira lifted a shoulder. “Roake hasn’t exactly struck me as a warm and welcoming sort of place, and from the way you talk, it’s obvious she would have had difficulty fitting in here.”
“You’d think, but Liliana had a way about her.” Harlow’s gaze sharpened. “She dumped your father on his ass during their f
irst meeting.”
That startled a laugh from Kira, interest sparking.
Harlow put an elbow on the arm of the chair. “I thought Leigha was going to kill Liliana for that stunt. I’ve never seen an Overlord so torn between pride and fury. When Leigha told her to apologize, Liliana got this stubborn look on her face and refused. Said he’d got what he’d deserved.”
“What had he done?” Kira asked.
Harlow paused, then shook his head. “I’m not even sure I know. That was Liliana, though. She had a code that only she understood. If you crossed it, she was always quick to let you know.”
“I’m surprised your brother married her.”
Harlow got this secretive smile on his face. “I’m not. Harding always said Liliana made him look at the world in a different way. She was his balance, and he hers.”
Harlow focused on Kira. “He got her back in the end for dumping him on his ass. He spread piri dye on the handle of her en-blade. She managed to leave several streaks all over her face before she realized. It stayed there for nearly a month.”
Sounded like something one of her old squad would have done to get back at someone.
“Harding used that time to work his way into her heart. It didn’t stop the pranks, however, which became legendary,” Harlow said. “They were both extremely competitive. Neither was the type to let something go.”
“How long were they together?” Kira asked.
“Nearly a century.”
Kira raised her eyebrows. She tensed as a thought occurred to her. “Did they have other children?”
Did she even now have a sibling running around Roake?
Harlow’s gaze was steady as he considered her. “No. As I said, children are rare and precious for us. Since we live a very long time, there often isn’t a strong urge to procreate. It’s not uncommon for a couple to wait centuries before attempting to have children.”
Kira plucked at the sheet covering her legs as she debated continuing this line of inquiry. There were questions she could ask. Questions she had thought often about, if she were honest with herself.
But, did she want the answers? She still didn’t know.
“My name—” Kira stopped.
This was one of those things she waffled on. She had been Kira Forrest for so long. It was a name she’d picked for herself. A way of claiming her identity from those who’d tried to strip it from her.
Her younger self had thought the name Kira meant rebirth. An attractive sentiment to someone who had grown up in hell.
It was only later that she realized she’d added an r and changed the meaning entirely.
“Did they have a name in mind for me?”
Harlow’s gaze was enigmatic. After what felt like an eternity, he inclined his head. “They did.”
Kira squeezed her hands together, the question hovering on the tip of her tongue.
Harlow waited, letting her set the pace. If she wanted this piece of her past, she would have to claim it.
Before she could decide one way or the other, Graydon appeared in the threshold, breaking the moment between her and her uncle.
Kira slammed the lid on her questions, her walls coming up.
Good thing too, as Graydon filled the room with a roiling mass of emotions Kira struggled to decipher. Anger was there. Relief. Rage.
He observed the two of them with an implacable expression, finally offering, "I can come by later."
"You're here now; you might as well stay." The Overlord stirred, waving him inside. Graydon stepped into the room, the door closing behind him with a decisive thump.
The Overlord focused on Kira and changed the subject to one no less emotionally fraught. "The Emperor's Face tells me you were recovered from a camp. Did any other children survive?"
Kira was quiet for several beats. She needed to be very careful in how she answered this. For all that the Sorrowing happened decades ago, the wounds from it were still fresh. She had no desire to reopen them.
"I was the only child rescued by Himoto and his team that night," Kira said carefully.
The Overlord's face tightened as if he'd taken a blow. All expression smoothed out. "That's regrettable. Many of our people were hoping for a miracle."
Kira had nothing to say to that.
"Little Storm, I assume you have news," Kira's uncle said, addressing Graydon.
Kira couldn't help peering at the commander in interest. That was an unusual nickname. She never would have attributed it to him if not for hearing it for herself.
He stared impassively back, not betraying by even the flicker of an eyelash embarrassment for the name. Kira found she liked him better for it. Those who took themselves too seriously crumbled and broke in the end. You had to remember the good even when the bad was at your doorstep.
"Devon will make a full recovery," Graydon revealed. "I spoke with the other initiates. They all agreed if he hadn't taken primus form, the tala dogs would likely have slaughtered them. He's shaken but mostly unharmed."
"Do we know why they ventured so close?" the Overlord asked.
Graydon shook his head. "My people are investigating. There is evidence they were driven from their normal hunting ground, but it's circumstantial."
The Overlord nodded and rose. "I'll leave you two to talk. There are other matters requiring my attention."
Graydon murmured an agreement as the Overlord made his way to the doorway. He paused before opening it, fixing his attention on Kira. "I hope you'll consider what I said."
Kira lifted her chin, not answering. She'd do that, but she doubted he'd like the conclusion she would draw. People rarely did.
Harlow seemed to read that in her, nodding as if he understood what she didn’t say. “When you’re ready for the answers to the questions you’re afraid to ask, I’ll be waiting.”
With that, the Overlord made his way out of the room, the door shutting behind him.
Graydon faced Kira, fury on his face. "We're going to have that talk now. Then we're going to discuss the military-grade drone gadding about in Roake's territory."
THIRTEEN
Alarm chased across Kira's face, disappearing as quickly as it had come. Nonchalant ease replaced it seconds later.
"What are you talking about?" she asked, managing to strike the perfect balance between confusion and bravado.
Graydon showed his teeth in a dangerous smile, catching the barely perceptible flinch before she could hide it. That's right, coli. You're caught.
There was no escaping it this time.
"Where. Is. He?"
Kira blinked innocently at him.
Graydon stared back. Not many tested him when he was in this mood. Most feared what he would do. Even if they hadn't been wary of the power he wielded as the Emperor's Face, they would have still considered him dangerous on a physical level.
He was the youngest chosen Face for a reason, and it wasn't because he was good at diplomacy.
Kira opened her mouth, a lie already forming. Graydon lifted a hand, cutting her off with a sharp gesture. "Careful, coli. Lying right now would be inadvisable."
He knew the drone was here. It had contacted him shortly after Kira started the course. The drone's warning was the only reason Graydon reached her in time. Even then, he'd been too late to prevent the ordeal she'd endured.
The reminder of his failure threatened to send his thoughts into a very dark place, and he felt a deep-seated rage building all over again.
Surprise lurked on Kira's face. Guilt. But no fear.
Graydon's mouth quirked unwillingly, the anger easing slightly. A good liar, she was not. It made the fact she'd built an entire life on deception and subterfuge all the more puzzling.
"Bring him out," Graydon said, unnervingly calm.
"Graydon," Kira started.
That snapped the thin tendril of patience he'd been holding onto. He shoved forward, ignoring her flinch.
He wasn't an untrained initiate she could run circles around or lie to wi
thout expecting severe repercussions.
He was the Emperor's Face, the highest position a Tuann could achieve except for Emperor. He wasn't someone to trifle with.
"Bring. Him. Out."
All expression on Kira's face leaked away.
"Jin. You might as well come out," Kira said emotionlessly.
Graydon didn't drop his guard. It would be dangerous to make the mistake of thinking she had been defeated.
Kira might have conceded for now, but soon enough, she'd return to challenging him on the simple basis that she could.
Silence thickened the air as they waited.
A rustle came from under the bed, the sheet hanging over its side stirring.
No one said anything as Jin revealed himself, rising until he hovered at eye level.
"Hey there, big guy," Jin said with an awkward laugh. "Long time, no see."
Graydon sent Kira a flat look. "You couldn't be this stupid."
Her mouth pulled up on one side. "I'd like to argue, but current company points to the fact I am."
Graydon's lips thinned and tightened. This was a disaster on so many levels.
"Do you have any idea what you've done?" Graydon asked Kira.
"I'm beginning to get the idea it isn't good," she said dryly.
Graydon stared at her, sending her a look that said "you think?"
She winced, reaching up and rubbing her forehead before her hands settled in her lap. She slumped, looking tired.
"He wasn't supposed to be seen." She sent the drone a hard look. "He had orders to remain in the room."
Jin hummed. "You’re lucky I broke cover and sent the big guy your way. That last drone almost had you."
Kira opened her mouth to argue, and Graydon cut into the brewing argument with a hard look. "I don't care how I found out. I care that he’s here where he isn't supposed to be."
"To be fair—Kira didn't know about my presence until it was too late. I did it all on my own," Jin said.
"Not helping," Kira shot at him.
"Maybe in your mind, but I think I'm being super helpful," Jin grumbled.
Graydon scrubbed his face, ignoring the interaction. If only he had walked away on Luatha, his life would be so much simpler.
"Does anyone else know about this?" he asked.
