Just the Beginning

by Denise Evans

sure. That’s one of the reasons why I’m here. I have to find my balance and focus." She bit into her sandwich and tried not to stare at Manny and his brown eyes. Once she finished chewing, she continued, "I just finished my degree and I’m looking for a full-time job."

  "I do remember you talking about that last night." He picked up his tea and drank a bit. "Will you meditate with me this evening?" He took another long drink and sent a feeling of comfort her way.

  "Sure. Maybe you can teach me something." A playful smile crossed her face, mirroring her feelings, and from the reaction she received, she knew Manny liked it. She felt like she could relax around him and not be so guarded.

  Manny was enjoying this side of Grace and sensed that she was finally relaxing. "I think I can. We can start about six. Wear something loose and relaxing. I'm not sure how long we will meditate for. It will depend on how deep you want to go."

  Grace felt a little bit out of her mind trying to guess if what he said had a double meaning. She shook her head. “I don’t understand.” Looking up, she saw an emotion flicker across his eyes. She took a deep breath. "We’ll see. Can I take your plate?" She stood up and held her hand out. Don’t get caught up with him. He’s just like any other guy.

  He handed his plate to her and began to clean up the chip bags and drinks. He felt Grace disconnect and decided to go finish his work as there was nothing else he could do. "Lunch was great. If you need me, I’ll be in the basement.” In the basement, he began to form a plan on how he was going to help her. He didn’t know much about her, but his thoughts of her comforted him.

  Grace finished in the kitchen and washed a load of laundry. She decided she needed to relax before she mediated with Manny. After running a lavender bath, she settled into it and read a couple of chapters of her romance book before she started to feel sleepy. She laid her book to the side and focused on the rhythm of the pounding in the basement. Her eyes closed and she imagined her brick wall. Reaching down into the bucket that held the cool mortar mixture, she savored the smooth silkiness of it between her fingers. Taking her handful and spreading it over her bricks she chanted, “I am stronger.” Images of Manny were pushed to the back of her mind.

  Right away, Manny knew Grace had slipped into her meditative state. She obviously didn’t realize that the way she meditated opened her mind instead of closing it. He tried to stop the mental connection, but it was useless. Again, he saw her 5’2 frame in an all-white sundress, surrounded in a white light, bending over and standing again. He listened to her chant and enjoyed watching her. Before he knew it, he was behind her and caught himself bending with her and reaching for her waist. He froze and snapped out of the meditation. He rubbed his hands down his face. “Mio dios, Manny – you have to control yourself.”

  Grace again felt warmth behind her. She turned a complete circle and saw nothing, though. Before going back to the wall, she brightened her white by saying, “I am well protected” and focused back on her wall. Tepid water brought her out of meditation. She followed Manny’s request and dressed in comfortable clothing. Before she went down, she glanced out the window and saw Manny laying out a white blanket and two big white pillows. She turned away with a smile.

  Manny felt her emotions just briefly. He smiled and knew he had to take it slow because she had a lot to learn about herself, him, and their abilities. He grew up knowing what he was and had learned the responsibilities that came with it. There were many in his family like him. Grace’s abilities had only recently bloomed it seemed, which was very rare late in life. She had no one in her family or around her that shared the ability.

  Walking up to him, she asked, “Do you set this up all the time?” Her eyes swept over the simple, but elegant layout.

  “No, this is for you.” He smiled and pushed comfort towards her heart.

  “Thank you. I have feeling that you know more than what you show.”

  “Really? What else do you feel from me?” Manny asked, sitting down and crossing his legs. Grace didn’t know if she should tell him that she felt his admiration and attraction. Taking her time, she sat down and got comfortable by breathing in deep and putting her hands in her lap.

  “I feel that you like me.” It was somewhat close to the truth.

  “Now look who’s holding back what she knows.” Her eyes went wide. “Yes, you’re right. I do like you. The same way you like me.” Her mouth dropped open. She tried to recover from what he said as he scooted closer so that their knees touched. He grabbed hold of her hands. Her body temperature shot up and her breath quickened.

  “Keep holding my hands. Close your eyes and breathe in deep.”

  Without hesitation, she did as he said. When he sensed she was calm, he asked, “What do you see when meditating?”

  Grace breathed in deep. “I imagine a bright light coming down on me, cleansing and clearing away all negative energy. Then I start to build a wall and say positive things.”

  “Okay, go ahead and start there. You will know when I am there. Just try to ignore me.”

  “Yeah, right. How are you going to come into my meditation?” She opened one eye to look at him.

  There was a half-smile on his face, “Close your eyes. It is hard to explain, but I can. Let’s talk about that later and meditate now.”

  “I’ll try,” she mumbled. Deep breath in, deep breath out. Without much effort, she quickly went into a meditative state. She was building her wall when she noticed Manny's energy behind her. Shaking her head and rolling her shoulders, she tried to block him. The empty area in front of her, stack of bricks to the left, and bucket of mortar to her right. The first row of bricks appeared at her feet.

  He stood behind her, trying not to make her nervous. He knew she was uncomfortable because of her body language and the vibes that were radiating off her. He focused on his breathing and on her emotions and attempted to ignore his own. Her outer beauty in the conscious world was breathtaking, but her inner beauty, what he saw in mediation, was something more. Around her heart, he noticed some darkness telling him she had been hurt. Taking note, he matched his breathing with hers in 2, 3….out 2, 3. When she finally relaxed, he heard her.

  "I am stronger. I am capable. I am me." As she repeated Manny joined in and stood by her side. His baritone voice and her soft voice combined together into a calm and sweet chant. He watched her build the wall that was not strong because the method was wrong. She was stacking them on top of each other. He touched her shoulder to get her attention. She looked at him and he touched her in the middle of her forehead, the spot of the third eye, then touched his own. At that point she saw the same image in Manny’s mind in her own. Her eyes widened in disbelief and she was shocked with the connection. She stared into his eyes and in her heart, something shifted.

  Manny knew the moment their hearts connected. His emotions swelled and almost busted out of the barrier he was keeping them behind. He urged to touch her and was just about to when she broke the connection by turning to her wall.

  Grace didn’t know how to get rid of her wall. It had always just disappeared over time. She stepped to push it over, but Manny gripped her wrist. He was happy to help her. He stepped close behind her, put his hands on her shoulders, and rubbed all the way down to her hands. Her breath hitched and when he lightly squeezed her hands, she felt the warmth. In a few seconds, they stood there and watched the wall crumble.

  Grace looked over her shoulder at him. “You’re making my wall crumble.” It wasn’t a question. He smiled and pointed forward to the spot where her wall had been. She nodded, turned, and tried to focus. She was bothered that could make her walls crumble just by releasing what she guessed were his emotions. After a few failed attempts, her body felt like she had a ton of bricks on her back.

  Manny stepped back and sent encouragement to her. Her energy waves were unstable, telling him she was unsure if she could do it. Once she was confident, he sat down and watched her. He enjoyed the
view of her. His mind wondered with all the possibilities and it was a few moments before he realized that Grace had turned around and was looking down at him.

  It had taken Grace four times to get started, but on the fifth try, she completed it. She had rebuilt her wall multiple times, each time getting faster and stronger. She was so excited at her progress that she bent down to hug him. But when she did so, she lost her balance and fell on top of him. Petrified, she tried to get up and apologize, but his arms held her tight.

  Manny didn’t know what to do. The instant their bodies made contact, his emotions went haywire. He held her to stop her from moving, making their connection closer and tighter. She pushed off of him and his emotions jumped like a spark. She felt his body’s excitement. That shocked them and instantly they were out of the mediation.

  Grace scooted away and stared at Manny with wide eyes. She did not want to acknowledge what was going on between them. She wasn’t ready, didn’t want to face it and risk getting hurt again. Liking him was barely ok, but feeling his body’s excitement and knowing that his feelings were genuine scared the crap out of her. She vowed to herself that she was never going down that road again. The thoughts of her last relationship made her angry at herself.

  Manny laid there with his eyes closed, savoring the feel of Grace. He felt every emotion that she was experiencing. His defenses were up, but taking a hell of a beating. He kept his eyes closed so that she could not see how he truly felt for her. He wanted to calm, comfort, and reassure her that he was nothing like the guys from her past. The two of them were more alike than she wanted to realize. She probably wouldn’t realize it for a long time. Slowly he opened his eyes, sat up, and stared into hers. There was pain and he knew she was stuck in a memory. He reached out to smooth her hair and she flinched.

  Grace shook her head. “Sorry. Thanks for the help.” She stood up, stretched, and decided to ignore what had just happen. She started picking up the pillows without looking at Manny.

  Manny didn’t know what to do. First, he was feeling a turmoil of emotion then…nothing. Just a void of nothingness. Dumbfounded, he picked up the blankets. They walked back to the house and he was still trying to figure out how she shut down her emotions. She hadn’t even built her wall. It was like a switch just flipped.

  She would barely look at Manny. “What time will you be back in the morning to finish the basement? I just want to make sure that I am awake.” More likely awake and out of sight, he thought.

  His hand stopped on the door knob. “Que? Be back? I won’t. I stay here.” Her shock zapped him and he turned to look at her. He opened the door for her. “You didn’t know that I was staying here too?”

  “No….no I didn’t… that was why you were here this morning?” she asked, looking around the room like something was going to jump out. Panic was rising inside. She squashed it to remain calm.

  “Si. Are you okay? Does it make you feel uncomfortable?” He put the blankets in the closet and walked to the kitchen to fix a drink to calm her. He chose wine because she was a bit frightened, but he didn’t understand why. He didn’t know what to do; he was supposed to be helping her. She was a lot stronger and had experienced more tragedy than he’d thought.

  Grace accepted the wine and downed it in one gulp. She hated that she couldn’t control her emotions. The wine did help, however. The storm of emotions swirling around her and in her head finally began to ebb. She took a slow, deep breath in and noticed Manny watching her. She replayed his question in her head. Does that make you feel uncomfortable? She had forgotten that he can read emotions too. That was the cause of fear. She didn’t want him to know she was attracted to him.

  “Well, umm…guess I’ll see you tomorrow.” She needed to get away. She took the steps two at a time.

  “Si, good night.” Manny bowed his head. He tried to control his emotions. Like hers, they were all over the place.

  Grace climbed the stairs full of confusion that she didn’t know if it was her’s or Manny’s. She paused by Manny’s door and pushed it open to look inside. The room had just the necessities. The bed was neatly made with a brown and white comforter, there was a dresser with a mirror, and pictures frames, and a comb. Two pairs of shoes were aligned against the closet. Grace wouldn’t have thought he stayed in the room if not for two things. One, the smell; it smelled just like him. Two, his energy was in the room. Grace didn’t understand how she sensed it, but she felt something. The energy was full of anxiety and a slight touch of attraction. Instantly she backed away from the door, bumping into the wall, and rushed into her room. Anxiety rose and curled around her chest. Al she thought about was how she going to get away.

  While yanking out her suitcase, another wave of tremendous emotion battered Grace, causing her to freeze in place as anger and punishment from her past lover rose. She had loved him with her whole heart. He was her world. She thought she was his and he was hers. They were together for three years, had even started to talk about marriage. She was hurt from the lies and abuse. She felt anger now that she wasn’t able to love. There was an internal struggle with loving another and loving herself. Now she had met Manny and a small part of her knew he was different. She knew he genuinely liked her, but the pain of the past screamed in force. Sadness hit her and she fell to her knees, hunched over, tears falling. Anger and pain assaulted her mind and body with such force that she couldn’t stop the uncontrollable sobbing.

  Manny stood outside her bedroom door, struggling with whether or not burst in and comfort her. His emotions wanted to reach out, but he knew this was something she needed to go through alone. She had to deal with the past in order have the future that was there for her. She had learned to build her wall out of despair. Now she needed to use what she had learned. He leaned his forehead on the door and whispered, “Grace be strong. Build you wall.”

  It seemed like hours before Grace finally stopped sobbing and shaking. She thought of her white light and began to build her wall. The clutter began to clear and she felt lighter. Manny knew she was okay as he saw her light get brighter. Finally, he took a deep breath, stood up, and went to his room.

  Grace pushed her suitcase to the end of the bed and went to sleep. All the emotions were purged from her and she slept peacefully. Manny paced most of the night, trying to figure out why and how Grace had blocked her emotions and, most important, how he could help her. He replayed what had happened over and over again. The only conclusion he could come to was the pain and hurt was too much for her to handle and she had an overload. That was why the after effect hit her so hard. Until she learned how to handle emotions, everything would just continue to get worse.

  In the morning light, the bird song was peaceful and Grace stretched. She got out of bed and prepared for her meditation. She had no idea that her soul needed a release, in a way she needed to thank Manny, because without his help she wouldn’t have felt so confident. Grace knocked at Manny’s door. There was nothing, no sound. She turned the knob and peaked in. The room was empty. She felt that something was off, but just pushed it aside. Negative thoughts crept in her mind. I scared him away. He is going to treat me differently. He left me.

  Outside, in front of the lake, Grace went through the steps of what Manny taught her. She felt better and stronger mentally. During the meditation, though, thoughts and emotions about Manny were always there. She had started to feel something for him. Anxiety rose. The need to run was strong.

  Manny drove up to the house and noticed that Grace’s car was gone. He had went into town, thinking that she needed some space. Now, he planned to finally talk to her to about her abilities. He opened the door and felt the residual emotions of anger, sadness, and a sense of being lost. On the kitchen table was a note. Thanks for your help. Grace.

  Grace drove away from the cabin, her thoughts racing. She was torn in two; she wanted to stay and see what would happen, but because of her fear, she
knew she had to go. Fumbling with her phone she dialed a number.

  She began speaking as soon as he picked up. "Uncle David, I wanted to tell you that I left your place early."

  "Why is that? I thought you were going to stay for a week."

  "No, I couldn't stay any longer." Tears swelled in her eyes.

  "Did something happen?"

  She shook her head, unsure of how to respond. "No...yes....I was fine until things changed."

  "Grace. You went up there to get your thoughts together. Of course a change would happen."

  "Uncle David, I did get part of my thoughts together. I really did – then there was Manny and everything focused on him.”

  "Manny? Who is Manny? Don't tell me you brought someone up there with you."

  Grace slammed on the breaks. "No. Manny is the carpenter you had working in the house." An ache started to grow in the middle of her chest. She was hurt and shocked that her uncle would ask. She pulled over to the side of the road.

  "Grace, there wasn't supposed to be anyone in the house. Everyone was supposed to be at home and furthermore, I don’t even know anyone named ‘Manny’."

  Grace grew irritated. "Stop playing with me. I know you sent Manny there to help me. And he did – I’m just not ready for anything or any type of relationship. So I left while he was gone this morning"

  "Grace. Honey. I am not playing with you – there wasn't supposed to be anyone there. I'm going to call someone to check out the house." He hung up before she could respond.

  Grace sat there with her thoughts. She didn’t know what to think or do. Instead of heading back to the city, she turned around to go back to the cabin. She got there before whoever her uncle had called to check on the house. Everything was as she left it. Manny's door was open and the room was empty. Her phone vibrated in her hand.

  "Hello Uncle David." She sat heavily on the first stair.

  "Grace, tell me about this weekend."

  About the Author

  Denise Evans is a wife and mother. She has written two other published short stories (Midnight Snack and The Wind Blows East) and is working on many more. She is new to writing and is enjoying this journey and is excited to see where it takes her.