Loser

by Valerie J. Long

  Extra fees were also charged for rough and violent behavior, for unpleasantly grubby clients—and for bondage games of all kind.

  “No,” I replied, tired but happy.

  Rosie gave me another side glance. “Okay.”

  “Would you just come out with me?” Rosie asked.

  I briefly gazed over the remainder of my fruit salad and then decided that I had consumed enough vitamins. “Okay.”

  The entrance hall was empty. Strange, but Rosie unerringly headed for the exit.

  Will’s driver was waiting for us there. With a wide grin, he handed me a narrow envelope.

  The envelope contained a note with a single handwritten line, A strong woman needs a strong mount.

  “I don’t understand,” I admitted.

  The driver handed me a key and pointed at the parking lot, which currently, around noon, was almost deserted. Only a single red all-terrain vehicle parked right in front of the door.

  “You must have been unbelievably good,” Rosie noted.

  “The boss was like born again,” the driver agreed. “I don’t know what you did, Miss, but I haven’t seen him so cheerful in thirty years. That’s good for us all. Thank you!”

  Clueless, I stared at the mountain of metal. “Is that for me?”

  “The papers are on the seat.”

  That’s impolite, Jo, I scolded myself and looked at the driver. “I don’t have a driver’s license.”

  “We know. The driving school is already paid. You only have to schedule an appointment—if you like, you can start today.”

  Before he could defend himself, I had tossed myself at his neck and given him a big smack. Well, this treatment wasn’t entirely unpleasant for him, so he allowed me a second kiss, too.

  “Staff parking is at the back,” Rosie reminded with a wink.

  “Oh.” He paused. “Should I drive you around the house with your new car?”

  “Gladly!”

  There, I could test if the car was large enough for a little number. For free, even if that went against my principles.

  Chapter Fifty-Four

  There were only few clients during the day. Even if the wellness center wasn’t regarded as a grubby shop, our guests’ libido still grew toward the night—or they simply had to work.

  So I now had, after the cancellation of lectures, a lot of time for training. Jogging, pedaling, even a little swim along the Altona Esplanade was possible, and two or three driving lessons per day. Theory was easy, as I already knew most traffic rules from bicycling.

  I could get around more with the car than with the bicycle. However, I noticed that I had less time to observe the roadside buildings, so I was in no hurry with the test.

  During a driving lesson, my teacher asked me about my bicycle. “What distances do you go in one leg?”

  “One or two-hundred kilometers.”

  “Two-hundred kilometers on a bicycle? Crazy Germans.” He shook his head, but he smiled. I instead focused my attention on the bonehead ahead of me, who couldn’t make up his mind on which of the two lanes to choose.

  “You said, you already have a car. Large?”

  “All-terrain vehicle. Nissan, I guess.”

  “Won’t your bike fit in there? Then you could drive some way out of town.”

  “I could try that.”

  The cargo compartment was large enough to swallow my bicycle. So I could indeed drive one leg by car and then mount my bicycle—if I felt that itch.

  “Did you hear the news?” Rosie asked when I returned from my driving lesson.

  “No, what?”

  “Will is dead. Shot down. The police say a professional killer. A member of the AMP board was killed, too. The news reporter says the struggle for power in the economy will be fought with all means.”

  “Corporate Sponsoring,” slipped out of me, and together with the memory of the slip in the deserted house fear rose in me.

  “Exactly—that’s the term. A euphemism for blackmailing and pure terror, the reporter said. A new quality of organized crime. What kind of world are we living in—do you feel weak?”

  “A little nausea from driving,” I lied and hurried to my room. I slammed the door closed behind me, leaned to it, and listened to the loud beat of my heart. Holy Dragon piss! I had plundered the suitcase with a hatchet man’s fee?

  If anybody ever learned about that, I was dead. Like Will.

  In the future, I’d keep my fingers away from such money. What I already had, had to remain nicely hidden. Returning it wouldn’t save me now, as I already knew too much. Damned Jelly slime—as if I didn’t have enough trouble already!

  Loser’s fate. Couldn’t help it.

  Chapter Fifty-Five

  “Here’s a visitor for you,” Rosie called after me when I just returned from my driving test. “Oh, one moment—how did it go?”

  “Passed. The examiner said I should please consider the width of cars as opposed to bicycles, as then I’d get along well. Who is it?”

  “Have a look yourself.”

  Reginald rose from the couch in the reception area, presenting me a large bunch of dark red, marvelously-smelling roses. “Hello, Jo.”

  “Hello, Reginald.”

  Rosie smiled and produced a prepared vase from behind the counter. “Number seven is free,” she said and took the roses.

  Oh—Reggie was here as a client?

  Well, I was a professional. I led him up to number seven. As soon as the door had closed behind us, I began a slow strip—there wasn’t much to take off, anyway.

  Reginald let me perform without comments. When I stood before him stark naked, he finally broke his silence. “I’ve accepted it, Jo. My dick’s gotten in my way. I can’t bear to have a beautiful woman right in front of my nose all the time and not have her for myself—although everyone can have her.”

  “Not everyone.”

  “Everyone who is ready to live up to your standards. You see, I’m prepared this time. I’m ready to put myself to this test. I want to experience myself why you’re worth this price. I also want to please you, so that this physical issue no longer stands between us. Can you understand that?”

  “What you’re saying is sincere, Reggie. That’s important—that you commit your attitude toward me to yourself. You want sex with me, that’s okay, and you accept that I’m not cheap to have. When we’re done tonight, you’ll see the difference from a quick grab.”

  “Actually, your appearance alone does it for me.”

  I stepped closer to him and snuggled up to him. With one hand, I massaged his crotch while my lips approached his ear. “Now you’re insincere,” I whispered and began to nibble at his earlobe. He moaned.

  “Oh my goodness, Jo!”

  He didn’t get any further, as I wrapped my arms and one leg around him and began an intense French kiss.

  He deserved neither my pity nor my affection. What he had done to me was insidious and inexcusable. Tonight was the night for my revenge—and I took my revenge my way.

  Chapter Fifty-Six

  “Please, Jo,” he whined. Tears glimmered in the corners of his eyes. “Please don’t!”

  The first light of dawn seeped through the curtains. Yes, he truly had enough. I released his member with a last, tender suck from between my lips and sat back on my heels.

  “You capitulate?”

  “Unconditionally,” Reggie wheezed.

  Patiently, I gave him the time to regain his breath. I could use a break myself. However, as opposed to him, I had in turn applied my tongue, my hands, my vagina and my ass—but hadn’t granted his cock a longer recovery. If I could make a shaky seventyish grow a boner, I could keep a sporty mid-twentyish at it for a night. That’s what I had demonstrated to Reginald until now.

  Reggie’s gaze searched and found mine. “You goddess!” he threw at my face. “I am doomed!”

  “Was it good?” I asked innocently. “Did you notice the difference?”

  “Yes,” he admitted, sob
ered. “Yes, I have. I was no virgin before I came to you. I had girls before. I had my first blowjob in school. I had a knack with my classmates. They wanted to be my steady—for that, they were ready to swallow or offer me their asses. I never had trouble getting a woman—not even here at the University. Except with you.”

  “Even here at the University?” I pondered who of the fellows had let him in.

  “You haven’t been there when we went out at night. There was always something happening. No matter. We’ve tried it all—I had thought. And the girls were—are—good. By ordinary standards, at least.”

  He spread his arms and looked around. “Your stage. What you’re doing here is great art. This is Shakespeare. This is—Dragonish. It’s as close to normal sex as Haute Cuisine to stale bread.” Reginald smirked. “If I should call you a whore next time, you can be sure I mean it as the highest possible award. You ennoble that term.”

  I admit—that went down well. He wasn’t the first man to say nice things about my job, but he was the most important.

  “I had planned to ask you, after our tryst, why you’re doing this job, if it doesn’t cost you your self-esteem,” he went on.

  “Why won’t you?”

  “Because it’s like asking the sun why it shines. Or a bird why it flies. You don’t do a job or some occupation, you’re following your life’s calling. You can proudly stand up and say—I’m the goddess of love, and what I’m doing is right. How could that lower your self-esteem?”

  “Because I’m a stupid whore?”

  “Don’t listen to the idiot at your feet. You’re smarter than you’re ready to admit to yourself. About the subject matter—we all have our problems there.”

  “I have big problems.”

  “And we’ve let you down with it. When you return, we’ll join together and smooth them out. Once we’re through with that, you’ll beat the pants off us all. I bet you.” He gave me a questioning glance. “You will return, won’t you?”

  In his glance was more than admiration. There was an expression I didn’t know yet—love?

  That was unrealizable. He couldn’t become more than a good friend. Not if I followed my calling—and if I wouldn’t, I would no longer be the woman he admired. I could only lose, as always. And about our night—it was just sex, wasn’t it?

  Chapter Fifty-Seven

  Tim responded happily to the message that our group was whole again—but there was a weekend before the lectures’ commencement, a long weekend for me to follow my calling and please numerous clients. Nevertheless, I didn’t manage to ban Reggie from my mind.

  Monday morning began with a light drizzle. Several drivers cheerfully honked after me when my ass became clearly visible in the wet jersey. I only laughed and waved. The usual quarter of an hour later, the sun came out and dried me.

  I was the last to arrive in the lecture room a few minutes to nine o’clock. All others rose on my entry and came to me. Each one approached me and personally apologized. I hugged each one and gave out kisses to the cheeks.

  Reginald came last. I noticed well how the others watched our encounter very attentively. Okay, he had deserved a tiny lesson in front of the others.

  I began our hug like any other—but as soon as I had him in my arm, I began an intense French kiss. I placed one hand on his buttocks, and one bare foot, quickly slipped out of the sandal, ran up and down his legs teasingly. Everything in this treatment was pure promise, and I didn’t let him go until I felt his crotch grow.

  The group cheered and hooted when he finally sank down on his seat panting.

  I winked at the others. “Only to show you how well we get along now.” Then I slid on the seat next to him with a deliberately lascivious move, just as Tim entered the room.

  Two of our professors followed him, Armin for field theory and Jacques for quantum physics. Both lined up next to him and threw me curious glances. Why that?

  “So you’ve overcome your quarrel,” Tim stated. “I have to apologize—we’ve let you run right into the trap. These little frictions are normal at the beginning of a course, even if it’s not that extreme otherwise. In my course, it was a petty jealousy, after which one fellow wanted to leave. The next day, we brought him back in. You’ve taken a lot more time.”

  He pointed at our professors. “Well, to be honest—we were grateful for the additional time you gave us, because we had to test a new theory. You remember the problem with the guidance of gravitons and the foul tradeoff between control energy and grav-field stability?”

  All nodded. Why did he raise that topic now?

  “Well, the solution is astonishingly easy—once you’ve found it. You simply send multiple guiding impulses, which are released locally with an orthogonal signal and address all gravitons in the right location with a universal message. Jacques?”

  “We’ve started with using an approximation formula and simulated the effect in the computer. According to the results, we could expect an increase in efficiency by two orders of magnitude—at least for smaller grav-fields. Armin, please.”

  “We could prove the theory in an experimental set-up. By the way, my thanks to the students of the fifth semester” —he nodded at Tim— “who’ve focused on this task exclusively. We will soon catch up with the subject matter. Now back on topic. With twenty guidance impulse emitters that each cover a part of the sphere, and the respective twenty orthogonal signal emitters, we’ve been able to reduce the experimental grav-field’s power consumption by a factor of one-hundred-and-twenty, compared to the reference installation. After fourteen seconds, the improvised guidance impulse emitters burned through, but we can positively confirm that the new theory has passed the test with glory.”

  The entire team applauded. I clapped with them, even if I hadn’t entirely grasped what was just going on here.

  Armin stepped forward and raised his hand. The applause faded. “My ladies and gentlemen, I’d like to introduce the inventor of this new theory to you, who helped us to this sensational success all alone. Johanna, please.”

  I automatically rose when I heard my name. Tim pulled me forward at one arm and moved me between Armin and Jacques, who one after the other shook my hand.

  Reginald gaped at me.

  Pam began to smile. Then she rose, came to me and hugged me. “Congratulations, genius,” she quietly said.

  “Thanks.” Right after her, I had to defend myself against my other fellows’ friendly assault.

  Again, Reggie patiently waited until the end. This time, in front of the professors, I spared him the special treatment. Nevertheless, he held me tight for a moment. “I’ve been such an idiot!”

  “Forget it.”

  Tim wanted a hug, too. “How did you come up with that?” he then asked.

  So I told him of my analogy with the happily copulating quarks. That amused all present. Noticeably, no one made fun about it.

  Finally, Tim said, “I’d say, after such an announcement, you can’t simply go back to daily routine. You have a lot of stuff to catch up, but another half hour won’t make the difference. We’ve prepared a few glasses of sparkling wine.”

  Chapter Fifty-Eight

  The other coaches of the fifth semester, who had participated in the experimental setup, were already waiting outside of the door. Each of them held two glasses of sparkling Shiraz in their hands. Four of them held even three—for Armin, Jacques, Tim and me—and gave one each to their charges. Then they all wanted to clink glasses with me, as the coaches received their kisses and wanted to talk to the great inventor.

  “Do you want to say a few words?” Armin finally asked. I nodded, and he raised both hands to call for attention. Jacques helped me to climb the desk.

  For a moment, I felt dizzy. I had never stood in front of so many people—and I had never had to make a speech. On the other hand, a prostitute plays a role for her clients every day. This simply was another performance. Moreover, there were enough examples on the news.

  “First of al
l, I want to thank you very much. I’m saying thank you for your congratulations and your sympathy. I’m saying thank you to all students of the fifth semester, who were willing to trust the idea of a stupid whore and sacrifice their entire time to an experiment with unknown outcome.”

  I added a smile and a wink so that it didn’t sound too harsh. From the coaches’ knowing smiles, I concluded that they had understood the cue.

  “Most importantly, I say thanks to the advance trust that’s been placed in me, which has made my presence here possible. Even if she cannot be here today, my thank goes to Eva Keller, and of course to the selection committee.”

  My gaze rested on Reginald.

  “I wasn’t convinced myself that I’m in the right place here. I found the lectures terribly exciting, and still I hardly understood half of it. Last week, I had almost reached the point to chuck it all up and return to Germany. I still don’t know if these studies really suit me, or if I’ve just landed a lucky chance hit. No, please let me finish. We had a misunderstanding, but that’s clarified. Forgotten. We’ve quarreled and come back together. This success now, regardless how it happened, reassures me to at least try on. I won’t let you down.”

  For that, I received a brief applause.

  “I want to ask you something, something really hard.”

  They watched me with curiosity. I primarily looked at Armin and Jacques.

  “I’m well aware of the importance of this discovery. This is sensational. That I didn’t see it in the media should mean that nobody knows yet, right?” Both professors nodded. “Regarding me, I’d like to keep it that way.”

  My audience was irritated.

  “I’ve only just told you of the difficulties to get by with the subject. We need to catch up like crazy, and I still have to do my job. No, don’t argue with me. I’ve set up my life this way, and I’m standing by it. I’m sticking to earn my stay and my spending. So—if the press comes for me now, then it’s over. Then I won’t have time to learn, and I’ll lose my job.”