J R

by William Gaddis

  —I want this press statement out today.

  —Yes sir and on this bio, I thought we might want . . .

  —Let me see that . . . Cates straightened up from the wastebasket to drop the paper clip into a vest pocket.

  —Yes sir. Oh and Miss Bulcke, she can run off a draft right now Boss save us time, just take this . . . he nodded to her blank pad.—The long overdue technical readjustments taking place in our present dynamic market situation offer . . .

  —Who the devil cares whether you played football against Brown, Monty.

  —We felt sir, in creating Mister Moncrieff’s image as an aggressive competitive team player . . .

  —Image! Cates’ laugh cleared his throat,—they ought to see you running around with that damn butterfly net Monty.

  —Will you read back, Miss . . .

  —market situation offer . . .

  —offer no convincing evidence of the kind that has characterized long-term deter . . . A light glowed. The pencil stopped.

  —Ever see your father with that butterfly net, Amy?

  —Senator Broos returning your call, sir.

  —long-term deterioration . . .

  —Broos? Hold on a minute. Come in Beaton. Amy? Just sit still for a minute. Broos . . .?

  —deterioration. In the past . . .

  —Finish that up outside Dave. Broos? Beaton’s right here yes, what’s the story down there . . .

  Davidoff avoided Beaton’s approach with a badly choreographed sidestep, recovered his balance as Beaton drew a chair to the desk and his evenly dulled black shoes neatly together without a glance up from the papers he opened before him.

  —Hold on. What time is my plane?

  —What airport, said Cates behind her.

  —I don’t know sir.

  —Well you’d better know, damn cab fare to Kennedy’s twice the fare to LaGuardia.

  —Yes sir.

  —They want to know if there’s any way we can put off signing this contract till next week, Moncrieff’said away from the phone. Beaton leaned close and spoke in a low tone.—Hello? No it’s impossible, my resignation here’s effective at the close of today’s business, hold on . . . a light glowed and he handed over the phone.

  —It’s General Blaufinger sir.

  —Tell him to hold on.

  —He’s a damned old woman, Cates muttered making figures on the back of an envelope.

  —He’s calling from Bonn sir.

  —Let him hold on . . . he recovered the phone,—Broos? Where’s the problem . . . Have you got a copy of it in front of you? All right first, in clause four. For the purposes of cobalt stockpiling, national security and so forth and so forth, that during the life of this contract as stated in clause one supra the government hereby agrees to purchase from Typhon International five point two thousand tons of contained cobalt annually, at the guaranteed price of four dollars sixty seven cents per pound, now. Down in seven. In order to expedite this and so forth and so forth the government agrees to advance to Typhon International the sum of thirty-nine point seven million dollars to construct a smaltite processing plant for the extraction of contained cobalt and then down in eleven, the government agrees to sell, at cost, to the processing plant to be erected operated and so forth by Typhon International in the country of Gandia, sufficient smaltite ore to yield at a minimum the amount of contained cobalt as set forth in clause four supra and for which purposes this contract shall be deemed to be . . . what? Because if they wanted to buy nickel they would have said nickel. They didn’t come to us to buy nickel. They didn’t come to us to buy iron or arsenic they came to buy cobalt and cobalt occurs in smaltite, if we come across nickel or iron or anything else in the ore reduction that’s . . . well let them scream giveaway they . . . I know he does, I say if we spell things out here we’re the ones who are shouting giv . . . No he’s right here . . .

  —Broos . . .? the phone came up clenched to a deaf ear,—no damn time to start nitpicking, if this contract’s not signed sealed and delivered while Monty’s still running things here his signature on it’s no more damn good than Jefferson Davis,’ already got enough damn problems leftwing press adding two and two getting five sounds like a few blacks jumped the gun over there blew up a damn bridge or something, Blaufinger on the phone here first damn thing he’ll want to know’s if there’s any talk about sending in troops to stabilize the situation. The answer’d better be we’re damn well not and I want Frank Black to make that good and damn clear to the press corps down there and anybody else that noses in hear me? Civil war breaks out seceding this Uaso province it’s nobody’s business but these damn Africans’, we can’t get in there and support secession don’t mean we want some damn fool introducing a resolution on the floor supporting the established government either hear me . . .? he hunched further getting the phone to his other hand,—what’s that . . .? getting it clenched to his other ear.—You do some arm twisting get that damn resolution tacked on there hear me? We’re the ones that’s building the damn smelter the government’s not, we’re the ones taking the chance they’re not, you hear me . . .? and the phone came tendered at arm’s length where Miss Bulcke caught it.—You hear that Beaton?

  —Excuse me sir General Blaufinger is still . . .

  —Here I’ll take it.

  —Mister Moncrieff is on the line now, thank you for wait . . .

  —Hello, General . . .?

  —Beaton you hear that? Resolution exempting private investment in a hazardous business climate you make damn sure that’s cleared up before Monty signs, hear me?

  —Rumors General, just rumors, we . . . three planeloads? No they couldn’t be ours, the whole . . . but half the armies over there have US stamped all over them there’s no reason to be afraid the . . . no of course not General I didn’t mean to imply . . . Yes I know you did General even our own history books treat it as a brilliant campai . . . I’ve never discussed it with General Box no, but . . . Yes I’m sure he would General but we want him out of there right after this groundbreaking, these reports have already jeopardized the contract and if you can’t restrain Doctor Dé until we have the . . . now just a minute General, we . . .

  —Damn brown nose here give me that . . . Blaufinger? if you can’t sit on this thing till this damn contract’s wrapped up we’ll lose the whole shooting match, damn left wing . . . what? Not talking about a shooting match no damn it I’m talking about this contract, if . . . Couldn’t sign it till these cobalt stockpile requirements were raised could we? What the devil you think Broos’ Armed Services Committee’s been . . . well that’s the damn difference between this country and yours, don’t think Pythian’s mentioned in the damned contract do you? can’t tell them where to buy the damn ore can we . . .? That’s the damn point where the devil else can they get it . . . don’t know no wait a minute, Monty? Anything in this contract about management services . . .? Hello? Not a damn thing no, what’s . . . by God no put in something like that we’ll have the Pythian interest in Typhon spread all over the damn front page . . . No and I want to be damn sure we don’t, this Doctor Dé goes off half cocked again lets his black boys run around blowing up bridges before we settle this end of things you’ll have this whole damn third world backing Nowunda leftwing press line up behind them leave us sitting with a wish in one hand and . . . well you sit on him, hear me . . .? and the phone came up offered nowhere.—Squeezing out the last damn drop wants Pythian to get the contract for management services on this smelter like hiring your uncle to do your damn laundry . . .

  —Nothing we can do about it I’d just like to see him off our board, this Doctor Dé they dug up for defense minister’s the worst fraud you could . . .

  —Damn it Monty don’t own them you can’t trust them, get out there you have to take what you can get . . .

  ——sit on, auf ihm sitzen . . .?

  —I know it that’s what I don’t like about the whole . . .

  ——mein Onkel soll meine Wäsche waschen . . .?
>
  —Here somebody hang this damn thing up! Beaton? Where’s the notes on this hearing.

  —Yes sir I think you have them right there sir.

  —I do not have them right there sir! I have this damn Endo decree and a lot of fool nonsense on this alleged conspiracy to fix prices of materials supplied to the cable industry right there sir!

  —Yes sir I, we thought Mister Moncrieff might want to review the material contained in the indictment in case any questions arise at his confirmation hearing relating to . . .

  —Read the newspapers do you, Beaton?

  —Yes sir.

  —May even have come across a little piece tucked away in the Times when they dropped this criminal indictment against the company officers?

  —Why of, of course yes sir but since the indictment against the company itself was left standing I . . .

  —And as of close of today’s business he’s got no more connection with the company than Rin Tin Tin who’s going to bring up this damn nonsense. Now what the devil’s Endo doing here.

  —Yes sir since this recent decree allowing the Diamond tender on condition of the divestiture of Endo Appliance Company just came through from the Justice Department, I thought any question relating to the family interest in Diamond Cable might prompt further . . .

  —Don’t mean they’re going to pick over Endo does it? Want somebody to ask him under oath when this Endo spinoff was first contemplated? No damn use to anybody just make sure you’ve got those patents reassigned put Dick Cutler on it, only damn thing this bunch will have their minds on’s conflict of interest, Broos going to lead him through it?

  —Yes sir it shouldn’t present any difficulties, all his security holdings have been placed in the foundation accounts the papers are right here sir, we . . .

  —Right where! by God Beaton that’s all I’ve been trying to get out of you here for the last hour.

  —They’re right here yes sir your niece has, excuse me Mrs Joubert . . . he hurried the papers from her lap where she opened her bag for a handkerchief, caught it up eyes unblinking over its lavender border crumpled in her hand.

  —You look tired Daddy, she said to him paused half turned from her as he might have at a window if there’d been one there, looking down, fingers long like those crumpling the handkerchief coursing the bridge of his nose as he brought his gaze past hers down the long line of her throat,—and Daddy if you’re leaving today I have to work things out more clearly for Francis, couldn’t we try to . . .

  —Yes I know . . . his hand came down, left his lips pursed with concern.

  —Because you know all of you know, the only thing I’ve ever . . .

  —Beaton? just a minute Amy . . . and her hand, edging back a black fall of hair from her temple, hung there empty behind him.—This last option here, the one I just picked up have you . . .

  —It’s yes sir it’s all taken care of we, I don’t think . . .

  —What’s that Beaton?

  —Oh, oh nothing sir Mister Mon . . .

  —Look pretty damn rattled over nothing, that what you’re paid to talk about here? nothing?

  —No sir no, I meant . . .

  —What the devil did you mean, just said you’ve got all his stock distributed in these two foundations didn’t you?

  —Yes sir it’s, we’re still waiting for delivery on one certificate from Mister Crawley but there’s no . . .

  —Crawley? Probably got it listed in his street name down there out borrowing against it to buy another damn elephant gun why the devil’d you . . .

  —No Uncle John? Excuse me we just left Mister Crawley, I think I happened to see it in his office a certificate made out to the Emily Cates Mon . . .

  —Sounds like it how many shares.

  —I don’t recall, it did seem rather large but . . .

  —Don’t matter if it’s one damn share Beaton you send somebody right down there and get it hear me? Leave Crawley sitting on a plugged nickel he’d . . .

  —But he was really awfully kind to us I don’t think you should make him sound . . .

  —Didn’t call him a thief Amy he’s just not too damn bright, heard from Handler he thinks he’s got jungle rot leave him sitting on these certificates go down there someday when you need them find nothing but a damn ant hill what’s all this Beaton.

  —Which the, yes sir yes since both foundations are being used as receptacles for these securities if any questions are addressed to Mister Moncrieff regarding their tax-exempt status I thought he would want to be familiar with the details of the . . .

  —Seem to me one thing he don’t want to be’s too familiar with the damn details, no question on their status is there?

  —No sir none, since the hospital is becoming sole recipient of any gifts and income accru . . .

  —Any damn reason for him to say any more than that? Want more details they can go ask Infernal Revenue, Monty gets up there reciting all these damn details you’ll have the damn leftwing press on the doorstep asking what bank holds the hospital’s pension fund next damn thing they’ll be combing over the directors of this nonprofit health insurance program coming up with some damn story what’s insured’s not the public that’s paying the premiums but every doctor and surgeon in creation charging what he damn pleases hospital rates going through the roof because they all know they’ll get every damn penny’s that what you want?

  —No sir no but, I thought . . .

  —Didn’t think Beaton damn it if you’d thought you wouldn’t send him in there with every figure you can lay your damn hands on look at all this, think it’s a damn Patman hearing on these two foundations? Simple damn hearing to confirm a simple damn appointment in a simple damn post last thing they want to do’s embarrass the damn fool who appointed him, get him up there volunteering all this fill their mouths with a lot of irrelevant damn fool questions next thing they’ll have me up as a witness on control of the foundation assets drag in this issue of Diamond preferred and we’re back on the damn merrygoround with Infernal Revenue SEC and the whole damn leftwing press that what you want?

  —No sir of course not but the, but of course the legal position regarding your original authorization of the preferred issue was carefully explored in terms of control of the foundations’ assets, and the decision that it appeared advisable for tax purposes that the preferred remain without voting rights only if four div . . .

  —Know that damn it made the decision myself didn’t I? Think the fact it’s legal means these papers won’t be in there yapping about the public’s right to know all my damn business? Tell them it appeared advisable for tax purposes this preferred pays six percent semiannually don’t vote unless four dividends are missed any of their damn business why we’ve passed up the first three? Public that don’t know the damn difference between tax avoidance and tax evasion tell them you’ve wiped out thirty damn years’ capital gains tax with one unlimited gift to charity they’ll think you’re, what’s that Amy?

  —Oh nothing, nothing I’ve . . .

  —Never heard so much nothing somebody pick up that damn phone, if it’s Zona tell her I went to the toilet already throwing her weight around on this block of Boody’s Diamond common she’s sitting on, tender coming up might be just as damn easy to deal with Boody where the devil’s she at, last time I saw her she had a dirty neck.

  —Still in Nepal I had a call from the cons . . .

  —Had her picture in the paper too damn good place for her, law spreading from one state to the next like the damn plague gives eighteen-year-olds every legal right you can think of want you to look into that Beaton, get hold of what’s his name in the legislature see if there’s any damn way to slow it down.

  —No ma’am he’s gone to, to the men’s room . . .

  —Yes sir I’ve alread . . .

  —While you’re at it some little wop up there just been named to head the state banking committee see where he stands on these bank charters in the damn suburbs might be able to bring him aroun
d, that her on the phone Bulcke?

  —Yes sir that was Mrs Selk I told her you . . .

  —Heard what you told her, wants you to get that girlhood home of hers made a national landmark once you’re in position down there Monty have to move the whole damn river, you tell me the date on this third dividend’s passed Beaton?

  —Which the, yes sir I thought you were aware the . . .

  —Can’t clutter up my head with a lot of damn dates what you’re paid for here isn’t it? You just keep a damn sharp eye on the fourth one, Monty goes in and tells this hearing his stock’s in a blind trust pass up this fourth dividend we’ll have Zona in there chewing up Amy here voting this preferred with these other fool trustees blind leading the blind be the blindest damn trust since Samson got Delilah by the, what’s that Amy?

  —If you think I’m so stupid and, and childish why am I a trustee why do you keep . . .

  —Damn law tells you how many trustees to have that’s why, want us to go pick them off the subway?

  —You might as well, they’d know as much about what’s going on as a seven-year-old boy who’s . . .

  —Just the titular head damn it Amy, want a course in inheritance tax law go down and see Ude got that all straightened out Beaton?

  —The, what sir the . . .

  —This Francis Cates Joubert what sir!

  —Yes well it’s, the foundation ruling has been . . .

  —What about the boy’s father.

  —Yes sir of course there’s no need for him to know anything about it sir, Mrs Joubert’s the boy’s guardian in the matter duly appointed by the Surrogate and when this power is signed over she . . .

  —When it’s signed over? Why isn’t it signed over!

  —Yes sir it’s, it’s being prepared now sir we . . .

  —Being pre, look out there! help her quick! help her . . . and Beaton stumbled for the falling papers, lurched back from Cates’ hand stabbing toward Mrs Joubert sitting forward just then to pick up her handkerchief.

  —But, but Uncle John I . . .