“It means we’re bidding on who is going to get you. You’re like a prized filly.” A prized what? What’s a filly?
“At the moment, Elder Steven holds the top bid,” Elder William says.
I blink at him, he barely ever speaks. But nothing is making sense. Top bid… breaking in. Ugh, they’re so confusing. “If I knew what these things meant, I might be able to reply,” I say.
“You’re just a girl. And girls aren’t smart enough to know,” Elder Steven snickers. His eyes tell a different story though. He lewdly gawks at me, his gaze traveling the length of my body. Drinking me in.
Bile raises to the back of my throat.
“Whatever you want, I’ll give it.” He licks his lips while staring at me while addressing the other Elders.
I’m not sure what’s happening. All I know is there’s a sick, gross feeling tumbling around inside me. He’s looking at me like I’m his prey. As if I’m the meal on his plate, and he’s about to devour me.
“I think I might raise the stakes. Double what you’re offering,” Elder Tom replies.
Stakes? Offering? Ugh. Please someone explain to me what’s happening.
“I like them young, and like them shivering with fear,” Elder Steven replies. He’s disgusting.
“What about me?” Abigail says in a small voice from behind us.
The moment I turn to look at her, she lowers her eyes to the ground. Her cheeks are pink, and I can see she’s holding back the tears.
If she wants them talking about her like this, then I’ll gladly stand back and let her take it. “What about you?” Elder Steven says, breaking the small glimmer of hope they’ll turn their attention to her and leave me alone.
“I’m sorry,” she murmurs without lifting her eyes.
I turn to look at the Elders. Elder Steven has a lifted brow, Elder Tom is scowling, Elder Morris’s mouth is turned into a downward grimace, and Elder William looks amused. I want to yell at them. I want to tell them they’re hurting Abigail’s feelings and they shouldn’t be treating her that way. It’s not a nice thing to do. Can’t they see how hurt she is?
“Stop it!” I say in a fleeting second of anger. I don’t even clasp my hand to my mouth. This time I’m not ashamed of yelling at them. This isn’t right. They’re treating her so badly. I’ve never seen them be this cruel to anyone other than me. “Stop being so horrible to her. You all talk about respect, and how respect is earned. She’s done nothing wrong, and you’re being awful to her. You don’t even have the decency to do it when she’s not here.” I’m so angry I’m shaking. My hands are trembling, but my voice is clear and precise. They have to know, what they’re saying isn’t right. It’s making Abigail feel like she’s nothing. If it’s obvious to me, a mere girl, then it has to be obvious to them. They are the Elders.
Elder Steven sits back in his chair, and crosses his arms in front of his chest. Elder William chuckles.
Elder Morris stares at me, and a few of the other Elders relax in their chairs, with eyebrows high, and with disgusted looks on their faces.
“You think you have the right to talk out of turn, Luna?” Elder Samuel asks.
I was waiting for Elder Steven to scold me, then to stand and drag me out to the whipping post, where I was sure to get at least several lashings for being aggressive with them.
I turn to look at Abigail, her chin is lowered and tears are rolling down her cheeks and falling to the ground. Sophie too is standing against the wall, not saying a word.
The air in the Elder’s dining room is thick. My own heart thrums so fast I can hear it as it beats rapidly against my chest. I feel sick. But I need to let them know how wrong it is to speak about Abigail like she’s nothing. I know we’re just girls, and I know we’re not smart. But I also know, the way they’re treating her, is wrong.
“I’m not out of line,” I finally pluck up the courage to reply. Though my voice is tiny, and filled with fear. “You were being mean,” I say in a tiny whisper. The room is silent, my voice although small, carries far. I’m waiting for everyone to come running in, ready to punish me.
“Quadruple the amount,” Elder Steven says in a serious tone after a long, drawn-out silence.
“Are you kidding?” Elder Morris asks.
“No one has ever gone for that much,” Elder William responds. “Ever, in all the time we’ve been here.”
What are they talking about? My curiosity wants to ask, but I know I’m pushing a fine line between getting punished, and remaining unscathed.
Elder Steven is smirking. He’s drinking me in, ready to consume me. He makes my stomach churn. I really don’t like him, and right now, I’m not happy with any of the Elders. They’ve all been horrible.
“Unless there’s a better offer, looks like you’ve got yourself a prize,” Elder William says, then laughs.
What’s a prize?
I don’t get a chance to ask before Abigail bursts into tears and runs out of the room. The Elders cast a bored eye in her direction, before turning and resuming their food. Pigs. All of them.
“Luna, get me a drink,” Elder Morris says and holds up his cup.
I want to tell him to get it himself. He’s got two legs, and two arms. I stare at him and feel my lip turning up in revulsion. Poor Abigail has just run out of here, and none of them are seeing if she’s okay.
I quickly pour Elder Morris’s drink, then run out to find Abigail. They can whip me if they want. I really don’t care. Abigail is sweet, and she’s always quiet and never gets whipped. Unlike me, I’m always in trouble. Though I’m learning to control what I say and do. Especially around the Elders.
“Luna!” I hear Elder Steven call for me as I run out the room. I’m not going back until I know Abigail is okay.
“Sister,” I say as I come to a stop in front of Sister Rachel. Momma Edith always has a stern look on her face. She and Momma Kim, Elder Steven’s wives, aren’t very nice. All the Sisters are scared of them, and whenever they pass them, they lower their eyes. Momma Edith and Momma Kim usually tell us all what to do. One time, Sister Polly was told to clean the bathrooms and she didn’t because she ran out of time. For many days afterward Momma Edith and Momma Kim made Sister Polly clean each bathroom from dawn until dusk with her own toothbrush. Then they made Sister Polly cook for all the younger ones, too. Sister Polly was exhausted, finally breaking and apologizing for not being able to get to her chores. Momma Edith and Momma Kim, both gave her a nod, refusing to speak to her. They’re tough, and can be just as nasty as the Elders. Truthfully, Momma Edith scares me just as much as Elder Steven.
“What are you doing?” she asks with a stern look on her face. Her eyebrows are drawn in together, and her mouth is turned down as if she’s appalled by my presence.
“Um, Abigail,” I stop speaking and lower my eyes. “She’s upset.”
“Aren’t you serving the Elders?” she asks, her tone becoming more harsh. I don’t have the courage to speak. I simply nod and look down at my shoes. “Then I suggest you get back in there and do the job you’re supposed to.”
“But Abigail is upset. She ran out crying.”
“And Abigail will be dealt with for leaving without permission.”
“But…” I try again. Momma Edith simply points and waits for me to go back into the Elders’ dining room. I know she’s not going anywhere until I’m back in there serving the Elders. Dragging my feet, I head toward the dining room.
The moment I hear Momma Edith’s steps leaving, I sneak around the corner and wait until she’s completely gone. I poke my head out quickly to make sure she’s not coming back. Then I wait a little bit more.
Oh, my goodness. My heart is beating so fast and loud. I can feel my blood pumping through my body. I sneak another look, just to make sure. Then I run out to go find Abigail. But I have to stay close to the walls, so Momma Edith doesn’t see me. If she does, I’ll be in so much trouble.
I sneak around trying to locate Abigail. I go in and out of the houses, slinking in, sear
ching, then leaving as quickly and quietly as I can. But I’m careful, making sure I stay out of sight.
I get to the last house, and when I’m inside, I can hear someone crying. I know it’s Abigail. I have to find her and make sure she’s okay. “Abigail?” I whisper. But her crying is loud enough to drown out my calling to her. “Abigail!” I call again.
The crying stops just as I head into one of the bedrooms. Abigail is sitting on the bed, and she’s wiping the tears away from her face. “Luna,” she says in a small, angry voice as she holds in a sob. “What are you doing here?” she snaps toward me.
“I’ve come to check if you’re alright.” I head over to her, and sit beside her on the bed.
She moves away from me. “Really?” She tilts her head slightly to the side. “Or did you come to rub in how much they want you and how they don’t want me?”
“What?” I question. “What do you mean?”
“It’s always been you.” She stands from the bed, and starts pacing inside the room. There’s not much space between the beds lining the walls, stacked three high.
“What do you mean?” I ask, perplexed, again.
“It’s always been you, Luna. Since the first time you’ve been whipped, you’ve been the favorite.”
“I was the favorite because I was whipped?” That doesn’t even make sense.
“It’s always, Luna this and Luna that. They look at you like they worship you. And I look at them with the same look. I want them to want me the way they want you.”
I scrunch my nose. “You can have it. You can have them all if that’s what you want. I never asked for this.”
“Don’t you see? The more you do things wrong, the more they all want you. If I did something, like I spoke up in the dining room, I’m totally disregarded, like I’m nothing.”
“Abigail.” I stand and try to go to her.
“Don’t!” she half shouts at me and steps away. “Don’t touch me. If it wasn’t for you, then they’d want me.”
“You can have them!” I say again. They repulse me, I don’t want any of them touching me or looking at me the way they do. Why can’t she see that? “Honestly, Abigail. Whatever I can do so they look at you and not me, I’ll do it. Just tell me what that is.”
“Please!” she spits toward me and rolls her eyes. “You love how they look at you.”
“No! I don’t. If they would leave me alone, I’d love that.”
“You’re such a liar, Luna. You parade around in front of them, swinging your hips, and flicking your hair. Just because you’re the prettiest one here, it doesn’t mean you have to rub it in our faces. We know! You get it? WE KNOW!”
I stumble back, hurt by her accusation about how she thinks I see myself. “Abigail.” I shake my head as I try to find the words I need. “I think you’re beautiful. You have the most beautiful hair, long, blonde, and so shiny. You are perfect.”
“Yeah, right.” She rolls her eyes at me. “I don’t believe you.” She lifts her chin in defiance and walks past me, hitting me with her shoulder on the way out. “Don’t ever talk to me again, Luna. It’s all your fault they like you better than me.”
I stay glued to my spot, shocked by Abigail’s admission of how she feels about me. Worse still, how she sees me.
I feel so bad. Is it my fault the Elders like me better than her? I don’t want them to, I’d be glad if they never looked at me again.
I take several deep breaths, holding in the tears that want to escape. Does everyone else think the same way?
Does Cain?
Slowly, I move out of the room and head back to the Elders dining room. Hopefully no one’s noticed how long I’ve actually been gone for.
As I leave the bedroom I see Elder Steven leaning against the wall beyond the doorway. “Luna,” he says and crosses his arms in front of his chest.
“Elder Steven,” I respond and lower my head.
“Are you okay?” I nod my head but refuse to make eye contact. “Get back to your chores.” I nod again and hurry past him.
I don’t turn to look at him, but I can feel his shrewd eyes on me, watching as I scurry away.
Without lifting my head, I rush to the dining room to find the Elders still there, laughing and eating. The only person missing is Elder Steven. I slink back in, and Elder William quickly catches my gaze. He smiles, and nods his head, as if he knows what’s happened. It’s only a few heartbeats later when Elder Steven returns, takes his seat and resumes conversation.
It’s just a wide-eyed Sofia and myself.
There’s a dark, looming tension quickly tightening in the room. I can feel it. The threat of danger hanging, ready to pounce.
I’m not sure why the air is so tight. It feels like something is about to happen. Something bad… very, very bad.
The sun has risen, fallen, and risen, and something is definitely off. Momma Edith ignores me. Momma Kim has been asking me questions about Abigail and what happened in the dining room, and where I disappeared to.
“Luna, you’re in the dining room,” Momma Kim instructs.
“Yes, Momma Kim,” I reply and move to the dining room to serve the Elders their meal.
When I get in there, Abigail is already waiting. When she turns her head to see me enter, she scowls, rolls her eyes, and then looks away.
“Hello, Abigail,” I say trying to make peace with her. But my efforts are futile. She doesn’t even acknowledge me. This hurts my heart, because I really don’t think I’ve done anything wrong.
“Abigail,” Elder William says and snaps his fingers. “Drinks.” He points toward everyone’s empty cups.
Abigail smiles, takes a step forward and picks up the jug with water to fill their cups. She quickly returns, stands beside me and Elder Tom calls, “Abigail, get us some more bread.”
She lifts a brow and smiles at me. As if she’s saying, ‘Ha ha, they want me more than you.’
I, of course, couldn’t care less, and I’m pleased she’s happy.
“Abigail, more food,” Elder Steven says, not even giving her a chance to stand still.
“Abigail, take my plate and bring me another.”
“Abigail, bring me something to wipe my face.”
“Abigail, we need more to drink.”
All the Elders are calling on her, and not me. I’m not sure if they’re doing this to teach me a lesson, or to teach Abigail the lesson. And truth be told, I don’t care either. I know I’m only a girl, and I should be grateful my destiny is being fulfilled with the Elders wanting me, but I don’t care. I really don’t. I’d rather explore what’s beyond the wall and see the sickness and death for my own eyes. Yes, I know, I shouldn’t want to, but there’s got to be something more. We can’t be the only ones who are healthy, who die only we’re supposed to. Surely, there has to be more.
“Abigail…” The Elders keep calling on her, and she’s reveling in the glory. If I could, I’d leave her to serve on them, and I’m positive she’d love it. All their attention is on her.
Standing back, I watch as she floats from Elder to Elder. She’s the happiest I’ve seen her in a long time.
When dinner is finished, I’m standing exactly where I was when I entered. I haven’t been called on to serve the Elders. All the Elders are chatting between themselves, paying me no due and giving Abagail all the attention.
“Luna, you can leave,” Elder William instructs with a dismissive wave of his hand.
I quietly leave the dining room, and go to find Momma Kim to ask if she needs me to do anything else. I hope not, because I really want to go down toward the wall where Cain and I spend time together and we can talk freely without the Elders listening to what we say.
Walking toward the main house’s kitchen, I can hear Momma Edith and Momma Kim talking in low hushed tones. I shouldn’t listen, but something in their pitch tells me to try and hear what they’re saying. They can’t see me, and I can only see their backs, but I know, just by the way they have their hair pulled back, i
t’s Momma Edith and Momma Kim.
“They’re planning something for her,” Momma Edith says then laughs. “From what William said, she’s not going to react the way she did in the dining room again.”
Oh no! It’s because I left to go after Abigail, they’re going to do something to me. I feel sick. What could it be? Am I going to be whipped again?
My heart sinks into my stomach, and I think I’m going to throw up.
“Did they say what?” Momma Kim asks with eager enthusiasm.
“He just said, she’s got a big lesson to learn.”
A small tortured sound escapes past my lips, and I instantly clap both my hands to my mouth. I step back, making sure they can’t see me, and run as fast as I can away from here. I’m out of the house, and around the back before either Momma Edith or Momma Kim see me.
I keep running until I’m at the wall, and when I get there, I burst into tears. Leaning my hands on my knees, and bent at the waist, my tears keep falling. Why do they hate me so much? Am I really so different? So different they want to keep punishing me?
“Luna!” Cain’s voice usually calms me, but not now. I’m too worried about the whipping they’re going to give me.
“Go away,” I cry, and don’t bother looking up to him.
“What’s happening?”
I try to calm my breath, and control my tears, but knowing what’s coming makes my whole body hurt.
“Luna,” he calls again. This time the urgency in his voice makes me stand, and throw myself in his arms. I know we’re not allowed to touch, and I know I’ll get whipped if the Elders see us, but I don’t care. They’re going to punish me anyway, so what does it matter if they add more strikes of the belt for hugging Cain? “You can’t do this,” Cain whispers, but hugs me tighter against his body.
“Please, please don’t let go,” I plead and continue crying. “I’m going to the whipping post anyway, I don’t care if they see us touching.”
“What? Why?” he asks, his voice filled with worry.
I can’t bring myself to break away from him. His chest is to my chest, and I can feel the heavy beat of my heart echoing against his. I like this closeness; this bond is warming although I know it’s not allowed. “I did something, and I heard Momma Edith and Momma Kim talking, and they said the Elders are going to punish me.”
Luna Caged: Behind the Wall Page 3
