The Dead-End Job Mysteries Box Set 1

by Elaine Viets

  “You know what gets me?” Helen said. “Debbie made a special trip over to my bar to warn me off. She sounded angry. But I think she was also afraid. That woman knows something. We’d better have a talk with her, and not at Gator Bill’s, either.”

  “No place like home,” Savannah said.

  “Do you know where she lives?” Helen said.

  “No, but the Gator Bill’s servers get off at eleven on Sunday nights. That’s when I used to pick up Laredo. Most of them are too tired to party on Sunday. We can probably follow Debbie straight to her home. I’ll pick you up about ten forty-five tonight.”

  Savannah’s old brown beater showed up at the Coronado right on time, its engine knocking loud enough to wake everyone in the complex. No wonder Hank Asporth had spotted Savannah tailing him, Helen thought. She wondered why it took him four hours.

  The car lurched out of the parking lot. “The Tank has a little cold-start problem,” Savannah said, “but it’s a great car.”

  Helen was afraid they wouldn’t let the noisy, battered Tank near the Gator Bill’s lot, but the attendant knew Savannah and waved her in.

  “How’s that cute little sister of yours?” he said. “I haven’t seen her around. Latched onto something better?”

  “She’s in a much better place,” Savannah said, and for a minute Helen thought she was going to cry. But Savannah set her lean, freckled jaw and drove to the back of the lot.

  Debbie was one of the last servers to come out the kitchen door. She was wearing her cheerleader’s uniform and talking to a Hispanic chef. The young man was so dazzled he could hardly get out a tongue-tied “Goodnight.”

  “That’s her,” Helen said.

  “Practicing her womanly wiles on that poor young man,” Savannah said. “Look what she’s doing to him. You can tell she hasn’t the slightest interest in him. Woman’s got a definite mean streak.”

  Debbie walked across the parking lot, round bottom twitching, long hair switching. She unlocked a purple Neon that looked like a rolling jelly bean, and pulled out onto Las Olas. They tailed her in the shaking, lurching Tank. Helen wondered why Debbie didn’t notice them.

  About five miles later, the purple Neon abruptly swung into an apartment complex. It was a square white shoebox set in an asphalt parking lot. They saw Debbie pull into a spot marked “203.” When the lights came on in a second-floor apartment, Helen and Savannah got out of the car and tiptoed up the stairs.

  “Let me get us inside,” Savannah whispered. “That little witch is going to talk or else.”

  She sounded so menacing, Helen was afraid. “You aren’t going to do anything foolish, are you? You don’t have a gun?”

  “I hate guns. I promise you, no guns.” Savannah patted her big black leather purse. Then she knocked on the door and said loudly, “Landlord! Open up! We’re having problems with electrical fires in the ceiling. We need to check your kitchen.”

  Helen stepped back out of sight. She could hear someone unlocking the door. Debbie opened it slightly and said, “I’m OK. My smoke alarm hasn’t gone off.”

  Savannah pushed her way inside the beige apartment. Helen followed. When Debbie saw her, she said, “You! What are you doing here? I’m calling the cops.” She picked up a cell phone from the hall table.

  “Go ahead,” Savannah said. “Then you can tell them where my sister is.”

  “I don’t know your sister,” Debbie said, but her voice wavered. Her long hair hung limp. She knew no amount of flirtatious flipping would beguile these two women. Debbie put down the cell phone and backed into the dining room.

  Savannah followed with long, lean strides.

  “My name is Savannah Power. Laredo is my sister. She’s missing and you’re going to tell me where she is.” Savannah took a bright yellow can from her purse.

  “Is that pepper spray?” Debbie’s voice was a squeak. She held a dining-room chair in front of her.

  “No,” Savannah said. “When I use this on you, you’ll wish it was. It’s oven cleaner. You wanna lie? I’ll give you lye. Start talking.”

  “But that could blind me!” Debbie backed up and hit the wall. Savannah grabbed the chair and threw it aside with one hand.

  “I think it will help you see more clearly.” Savannah shook the can. Helen thought she’d never heard such a threatening sound.

  “I . . . Um . . .” Debbie tried to slide sideways along the wall. Savannah blocked her move and put her finger on the spray nozzle. Debbie let out a frightened yip, then the words tumbled out. “They paid me to say she left town. They said they’d hurt me if I didn’t lie. I don’t know where she is.”

  “Who paid you?” Savannah demanded.

  “I can’t tell you. I’m afraid of them.”

  “Better be more afraid of me, missy.”

  “They’ll hurt me. They’ll hurt me bad.”

  “So will I,” Savannah’s voice was so low, Helen could hardly hear her. Her finger twitched on the spray nozzle. Debbie tried to move, but she was trapped in a corner. Savannah shook the can again and held it in front of Debbie’s eyes.

  “Please,” Debbie begged. “Please, don’t shoot. It was some friend of Steve’s. A guy who goes to some of the special charity parties. Name’s Hank.”

  “Hank who?” Helen said.

  “I don’t know his last name.”

  “How much did he pay you?”

  “A thousand dollars,” Debbie said, her voice rising in panic. “But I didn’t do anything.”

  “You lied to the police,” Savannah said. “Because you lied, they won’t investigate why Laredo is missing. I’m waiting for my sister to come back, but I don’t think that’s going to happen. You don’t either, do you, Debbie?”

  “No! Yes! I don’t know.”

  “What happened to my sister?”

  “I don’t know. She worked the back room at the Mowbrys’ parties. I didn’t. I wouldn’t even go back there, I was so afraid. There was some kinky stuff going on. I stayed away from it, even though they paid extra.”

  “What kind of kinky stuff?”

  Debbie didn’t answer. Helen wondered what was kinky in South Florida: Small pets? Large lizards? Little children?

  “Tell me,” Savannah said. Helen had never heard such menace in two words.

  Debbie tried to break out of the corner, but Savannah pinned Debbie’s face between her elbows and held the spray nozzle an inch from her right eye. Debbie clamped her eyelid shut. Helen could see the eyeball moving underneath, spastic with fear.

  “Something to do with d-d-dead people.” Debbie had developed a stutter. “They called themselves the Six Feet Unders. Like the TV show. They’d make jokes about it. Said it was their ‘grave undertaking.’ They paid a lot of money to go in that room. It was their big fundraiser. I don’t know anything else. I never went back there. I was too scared.”

  “Who did?” Savannah said.

  “K-Kristi. It was Kristi. She was always there after midnight.”

  “Does she work at Gator Bill’s?”

  “N-no. I don’t know where she works, except those parties at the M-M-Mowbry mansion. I don’t know where she lives, either.”

  “Then you’re going to get us her address, right?” Debbie nodded and said. “We’re working a party together at the Mowbrys’ tomorrow night. I’ll call you with it.”

  “I’ll call you. And you better not tell her why you want that address. You better not mention anything about us at all. Understand?” Savannah shook the can of oven cleaner. That sound again, that poisonous rattle.

  “You may think Hank is a bigger threat than I am, but you haven’t seen me when I’m really crazy. Got it?”

  Debbie nodded again, too frightened to speak.

  Savannah backed away from her, and Debbie slid down the wall.

  Chapter 9

  I’m going crazy, Helen thought, as she made her shaky way down Debbie’s steps. First, I heard a woman die, but the police wouldn’t believe me. Now, I’m hanging around wi
th an insane redneck, forcing my way into apartments. What’s next?

  “Kristi’s next,” Savannah said, marching past her down the stairs. “She’s going to tell me what she knows about Laredo.”

  “What are you going to do?” Helen said. “Squirt her with Windex until she comes clean? I can’t believe you were going to shoot that woman in the face with lye.”

  They were arguing in whispers in Debbie’s parking lot so they wouldn’t wake the neighbors.

  “Hey, I promised you I wouldn’t use a gun, and I didn’t. I’m trained in the use of household products.”

  “You threatened to blind a woman, and I stood there and let you. If Debbie complains to the police, I could be arrested.” Then the cops would find out I was on the run, Helen thought, and send me back to St. Louis.

  “She’s not going to complain,” Savannah said. “She doesn’t want them to know she lied about Laredo.”

  Helen relaxed a bit. Savannah was right about that, at least.

  “OK, but I’m not getting in that car until you hand over that oven cleaner. You’re a menace with that stuff.”

  Some threat, Helen thought. Savannah has the car keys. I could wind up walking home.

  “Oh, all right.” Savannah surrendered her weapon. Helen dumped it in her purse before she changed her mind and grabbed it back, then opened the Tank’s dented door and sat down heavily. A seat spring stuck her in the rump.

  “I knew that murdering Hank Asporth was behind this,” Savannah said. “We’ve got to get to him.”

  Helen said nothing. She didn’t want to talk anymore about Hank Asporth. She just wanted to know that Laredo was dead, so she could get on with her life. Great. Now I sound like some sort of self-help book: Browbeat Your Way to Closure.

  The two women rode in silence while the Tank bucked and rumbled past karate schools, XXX-rated topless joints, cheap bars and check-cashing stores. It was not a landscape to inspire optimism.

  My life is a mess, Helen thought. My job is a nightmare. People hate me from coast to coast. I’ve been cussed in sixteen languages. I don’t enjoy my evenings by the Coronado pool anymore, thanks to Fred and Ethel. I don’t have time to see my friend Sarah. I’ve gained almost ten pounds eating potato chips and Pria bars.

  The private litany of failure continued until Savannah pulled in front of the Coronado. She put the Tank in PARK and set off a symphony of squeaks and rattles. “You’ll call me when you get off work tomorrow night, right? So we can talk about our next step?”

  “There is no next step,” Helen shouted over the engine noise. “Not when you want to maim people.”

  “It won’t happen again,” Savannah said. “I admit my temper got the best of me. But I wouldn’t have hurt Debbie. Really.”

  Helen had seen the murderous look in Savannah’s eye.

  “Please,” Savannah said. “My baby sister’s lying somewhere in an unmarked grave. I’ve got to find her.”

  A light came on in a second-story apartment. The Tank had awakened Fred and Ethel. Helen would never hear the end of it.

  “I’ll think about it.” Helen wanted to slam the Tank’s door for emphasis, but it refused to catch. Savannah had to lean across the seat to close it, which spoiled the drama.

  The Coronado’s turquoise pool shimmered invitingly, but the chaise longues were empty. Helen was disappointed. It was warm tonight, and she’d hoped that Margery and Peggy might be out by the pool. Especially when she saw the lights in Fred and Ethel’s apartment.

  A single ficus leaf dropped into the pool and drifted aimlessly. Helen felt just as lost. She missed Peggy and Margery, but it was more than that. She longed for someone to love, even though she’d been badly hurt.

  Right. You really need another man, she told herself. You can sure pick ’em. So far, in Florida she’d dated a cheapskate, a con artist, a married man who said he was single and a guy so possessive he gave her a bracelet of bruises for talking to another man. No chance of her falling for anyone as long as she worked in the boiler room. The only men she saw all day were her crude boss, Vito, and Nick the junkie.

  She sniffed the night air and caught the thick, heavy scent of marijuana. Oh, yeah, there was Phil the invisible pothead. Just what she needed after dating drunks, crooks and deadbeats—a druggie. She wondered what he looked like. Even when he saved her life, there was only the slogan on his T-shirt, floating in the air like a dream message: “Clapton Is God.” She still remembered the feel of his hands, strong and sure, as he pulled her from the deadly fire.

  Was Phil straight or gay, single or married? She didn’t know. He seemed complete in his chemically altered world. He didn’t need any woman.

  The smell of Phil’s weed was extra thick tonight. It reminded her of the rock concerts she used to go to in St. Louis. That made her feel old. It had been eons since she’d held up a lit Bic and gotten silly.

  When she opened her front door, Thumbs was waiting for her, rubbing against her legs and purring his greeting. Usually her cuddly cat made her feel better. Not tonight.

  I’m an old maid living alone with my cat, Helen thought. And I’m only forty-two years old.

  The next morning Helen was back in the boiler room. Discouragement—or maybe it was dirt—settled on her as she walked through the grimy door. Her phone stank of cigarette smoke. She wished she had Taniqua’s Lysol to wipe it down.

  In ten minutes, the computers would come on, and she would start waking up East Coast home owners. But now, sick and tardy telemarketers were calling Vito with their excuses.

  She could hear Vito was yelling into the phone, “Your hand is all swollen and hurts? So what do you want me to do? Kiss it? If you’re not coming in, I need a doctor’s note.”

  The phone rang again. “You promised me you weren’t going to do this shit again,” Vito screamed. “You want the day off? Take the rest of the week off—at your expense. No, don’t come in. You screw up one more time and you’re fired.”

  Vito slammed down the phone and said, “Seven fifty-five and the fuckups are calling.”

  The phone rang again. Vito picked it up and shrieked, “If you’re not here at eight A.M. you’re fired. Fired. Get it? Oh, hi, Mr. Cavarelli.”

  Suddenly Vito’s voice was soft and respectful. “You’ll be in this week? Yes, sir. No, sir. No, we didn’t make our quota last week. We’ll make it this week for sure. I’m trying to fire the junkies and bring in quality people, but it takes time, Mr. Cavarelli.”

  “I’m one of the junkies,” Nick said.

  He was eating his usual breakfast of jelly doughnuts and orange soda. Despite his sugary diet, Nick was a skeleton. He talked in nervous bursts. “Finally got out of the halfway house. I’m sharing a trailer now. My own place. First time in years. I used to live on the street. I’ve come a long way. I don’t want to lose my home, but if I don’t sell something today I will.”

  “You’ll make a sale,” Helen said. But she knew Nick was doomed. This morning, he couldn’t sit still long enough to sell. He’d flit to his computer and make a call, then buzz around, bothering everyone. He looked like a big dragonfly in his bright yellow shirt.

  “Nick, sit down and sell,” she hissed.

  “I will, but I gotta get a sody,” he said, and zipped up front to the machine. Next she saw him crawling on the filthy carpet with Marina’s little boy, Ramon, playing with his dump truck, promising to get him a candy bar.

  Nick had an unerring instinct for bothering the wrong person. He tried to borrow a quarter for the candy machine from Mabel, the boiler room’s longest survivor. She’d been there an astonishing five years. She was a large, placid woman who used a headset so she could knit while she called. Mabel seemed friendly, but Helen noticed that she watched everyone. Helen heard her reporting their minor infractions to Vito at the end of the shift. The Madame Defarge of the phone room would complain about Nick panhandling for sure.

  Nick sat down at his computer and made a call, then threw down his phone and said, “They h
ate me. Everybody hates me. I can’t get any sleep. My roommate was drunk and he kept me awake all night. How am I going to sell if I can’t sleep?”

  “I’m sorry, Nick,” Helen said. “I’ve got to get back to work.”

  By twelve thirty, Helen had been insulted one hundred and twenty-six times, propositioned twice, and hung up on sixty-three times. Some woman in Oklahoma blew a police whistle into her phone. Helen’s ear was still ringing from that. She put the whistle woman on CALL BACK. She’d be pursued by septic tank calls till her last breath.

  Helen managed to make two sales, one in Maine and another in Kentucky. It wasn’t enough to get her into survey heaven, but at least her job was safe for the day.

  Nick had not sold anything. Helen was not surprised. When he did sit down at his phone, he argued with the callers. She heard him saying, “Listen, lady. I’m trying to tell you something. I can save you thousands in septic-tank bills. Lady, please don’t say that.”

  He hung up his phone in despair. “It’s over. I didn’t sell anything again. That lady just told me to fuck myself and die. I can’t take all this hate with no sleep.” He put his forehead down on his sticky desk. It was five minutes to one.

  “Nick!” Vito called. Nick sat up with a trapped, panicked look. He knew the end was coming. He hunched his skinny shoulders and went up front. Vito’s firings were always done in public.

  “Nick, you haven’t had a sale in two weeks. You’re out of here.”

  “Please, Vito,” Nick said. “Give me one more day.”

  “I can’t waste space on losers. And I can’t have you bothering the help. You’re out.”

  “I’ll lose my home,” Nick pleaded.

  “I gotta have sellers. Get lost.”

  Nick left. She saw him sitting next to the smokers’ trash can at the entrance, weeping. He didn’t notice he was sitting in a pile of cigarette butts. Helen averted her eyes and walked past him, then wondered if she should go back and give him some money. Would it be an insult, reducing him once more to a homeless beggar?

  In their world, money was never an insult, Helen decided. She found twenty-two dollars in her purse, and gave it all to Nick. “Here, buddy. Dinner’s on me.”