by Tina Martin
I followed Reggie up the staircase. The two bedrooms upstairs were both empty. There was also a bathroom upstairs in between both bedrooms.
“This is really nice, Reggie.”
We walked back downstairs. Reggie wanted to show me the kitchen. The countertops matched the chestnut brown hardwood floors. I noticed the double-pane sliding glass door that led to the back deck.
“Wow. I love this place,” I reiterated. “How much did you pay for this house?” Like that’s any of my business.
“Five-hundred K.”
“Five-hundred thousand dollars!”
“Yep.”
“Are you crazy?”
“I got a deal on this place. Most of the houses in this area are going for a lot more.”
“Well, it’s definitely a nice house. I see so much potential in this place.” I stood in the living room and looked around again, capturing features of the house I missed the first time I walked through. “You have a fireplace!”
“Yep. I got a fireplace.”
“That is going to be so romantic in the winter,” I said as I twirled around with my hands in the air like a ballerina.
I caught Reggie beaming at me.
“What? Why you looking at me like that? It will be romantic. Can you imagine lying in front of a hot, flaming fireplace on a fluffy rug reading a romance novel? That’s the life. Or you could lie there and sip on some hot cocoa. You don’t think that’s romantic?”
“It’ll only be romantic if I had someone to share it with,” he told me. Then he quickly changed the subject. “We can go get some lunch if you want to.”
“No…how about we start unpacking some of these boxes first?”
“I didn’t bring you over here to put you to work. I want to spend the day enjoying your company. So let’s go get some lunch.”
“Okay.”
We left and went to Chik-fil-a for lunch and afterwards, we rode around and kicked it for a while before going back to his place. It was about six in the afternoon when we got back.
There we sat on the front stairs of his new house enjoying the last moments of the sun, while the ocean nearly rocked us to sleep as if we were sharing a hammock between two palm trees. I leaned on his shoulder and he had his arms wrapped around me.
“This is amazing,” I uttered to get what I was feeling inside out and into the open. The air was fresh and a light breeze calmed us, along with the sound of the waves crashing together. “Do you know how many chicks you’re gonna get with a place like this?”
“The only women that are gonna be at this place is you, your Mom, and my Mom.”
I smiled as I laid there resting on his shoulder. “Reggie, do you have to work tomorrow?”
“Nope.”
“You?”
“You know I don’t work on weekends.”
“Just making sure. A lot has changed in the period that we didn’t talk.”
“Like what?”
“Like I got a promotion…”
“Another one? They love you over there, huh?”
“I’m just that good, baby.”
I grinned silently to myself. Reggie was very sophisticated though he acted like a fool sometimes when he was around me. In college, his GPA was higher than mine.
“What else has changed with you?”
“I bought a house.”
“Really? I hadn’t noticed,” I teased him for stating the obvious.
“What has changed with you?”
“Other than the fact that I have to take drugs to make myself happy…nothing much.”
“That’s not funny, Tiffany.”
“What? You asked, and that is a change. A major change.”
“What else?”
“What you mean what else?”
“You still seeing that guy?”
“You mean Derrick. Why you call him that guy? You know his name.”
“Okay, well are you still seeing him?”
“No. I broke up with Derrick.”
“You broke up with him but yet, he still calls you.”
“He called me this morning to make sure I was okay.”
“So why did y’all break up? You found out he wasn’t as wonderful as you made him out to be?”
“What?” Reggie was starting to irritate me. “What are you talking about, Reggie?”
“I mean, you acted like he was the best thing that’s ever happened to you.”
“No, I didn’t.”
“Yeah. You did. You even sacrificed our friendship for him, didn’t you? Or am I making this up?”
“I cannot believe you just said that.” I stood up in front of him while he remained seated. I turned away from him to look out into the ocean. Then I faced Reggie again. “I broke up with Derrick because I didn’t think we were compatible.”
“Y’all only dated for a few months. You could’ve gotten to know him better, right?”
“What’s your excuse? You and Shontay were dating for two years. Two years! Did you love her?”
“Yeah. I loved her but not more than I love you. That’s why I broke up with her and that’s why you broke up with Derrick.”
I turned back around to watch the ocean. Reggie was right. That was the reason why I broke it off with Derrick. Derrick and I weren’t compatible to the same extent that Reggie and I was.
Reggie continued, “I’m not afraid to tell you how I feel about you. But you suppress your feelings for me when I know they’re there.”
I was in the zone, staring out into the water as if his words were going in one ear and clear out of the other.
Then he said, “But we don’t have to talk about that right now. I’m sure you don’t want to. That’s too deep for you…getting too much in your feelings and for some odd reason, you can’t go there with me. I mean, we only known each other all of our lives. Of course we can’t be real with each other, right?”
Reggie had a right to be upset with me but there was no need for sarcasm. I just stood there soaking in all he was saying. “I’m gonna be in the house,” he told me right after he stood up. Still, I didn’t say a word to him.
Minutes later, I went in the house, too. I found Reggie in his bedroom, sitting on the bed with his head hung low.
“Reggie, I’m ready to go,” I said, standing at the door.
He looked up at me and said, “No. I’m not ready for you to go.”
“I can’t tell…you’re going on this tirade…talking this nonsense.”
“What nonsense? I’m telling you how I feel about—”
“Whatever Reggie. I’m ready to go home.”
“No. I want you to spend the night with me.”
“Then why didn’t you say that earlier? I don’t have any clothes.”
“You don’t need any. You can wear one of my shirts to bed.”
Something about this didn’t feel right at all…felt like Reggie had tricked me into staying, not leaving me an option to say no if he’d asked.
“Well if you’re expecting me to stay tonight, we have to get the couch cleared off then, don’t we?”
“No. You can sleep in my bed, same as always.”
What could I say to dispute that? I stepped into his bedroom. There were several boxes on the floor, spilling over with clothes and shoes.
“It’s a good thing you have a big closet. You have more clothes than I do.”
“A professional man has to look sharp, right?”
I pulled out two Enyce shirts. “Oh, and since when does a Director wear Enyce to work?”
“Ha, ha, ha,” he said as he snatched the shirt out of my hand. I took more clothes out of the box.
“Oh look…a pair of Gucci jeans, a Ralph Lauren Polo tee, an Adidas beater…”
Reggie chuckled, then walked over and sat next to me on the floor. “What are you doing?”
“Folding some of these clothes,” I said, neatly folding a pair of jeans.
“No,” Reggie said taking the pants away from me. “I don’t wan
t you doing any work.”
“I got it, Reggie,” I said tugging at them, but he had a good grip on them.
“No, Tiffany. I don’t want you doing manual labor for me.”
“Somebody needs to help you out. Now give it here.”
“Ah’ight…if you want ‘em, you gotta take ‘em from me.”
“Okay, forget.”
“That’s what I thought,” he taunted while flexing his muscles. “You want something to eat before we go to bed?”
“No, I’m good. And why are we going to bed so early?”
“So we can talk. We have a lot of catching up to do, Tiffany.”
“Had I known you wanted me to stay tonight, I would’ve brought some clothes, Reggie.”
“Tiff, it’s not a problem. I told you to wear one of my shirts to bed…just like old times.”
And that’s what I did. I went into the bathroom to change, then came walking out with my hair pulled back into a ponytail wearing one of Reggie’s casual shirts.
He took off to the bathroom when I came out, then joined me on the bed about ten minutes later.
His positioning of the bed in the room was perfect. It sat parallel to the windows. Reggie had left them open tonight. Never mind the chill. It was calming and relaxing to hear the waves.
“You’re not asleep, are you?” he asked me in the dark room, laying close to me but not touching me.
“No. I’m just lying here listening to the ocean…feels like I’m holding a big seashell at my ear.”
“So are you going to tell me the real reason why you broke up with dirt bag…I mean Derrick.”
“Reggie don’t insult him.”
“You know I ain’t never like that dude.”
“I don’t know why. Derrick is a good man and yes, I did like him. But anyway, I don’t want to talk about him and I don’t want you talking negatively about him.”
“Seems like I hit a nerve…”
“Reggie, will you stop?”
I wish I would’ve cleaned off the couch. Reggie was buggin’ and had I slept on the couch, I wouldn’t have to deal with his questions.
“Were you in a physical relationship with him?”
“Reggie, I thought we were getting reacquainted?”
“We are.”
“Then why are you asking me questions about Derrick?”
“Because I want to know what happened.”
“Well in answer to your question, no, we weren’t physical. I told you a long time ago I wouldn’t go there with a man unless I was married.”
“Yeah. I remember but—”
“So why you asking me a dumb question like that?”
“I just wanted to know,” he said, repositioning himself on the bed. “And why y’all break up?”
“I told you. We weren’t compatible.”
“I know it’s more to it than that.”
Should I give him the satisfaction of saying that I broke up with Derrick because we didn’t mesh like the two of us did? Or should I leave him hanging? Reggie wanted me to say it bad but I wasn’t willing to let him in my heart so quickly after the pain he’d caused me. I forgave him, but just because forgiveness came easy didn’t mean my heart would heal so quickly.
“Derrick and I weren’t compatible as you and I are, okay.”
Reggie kissed me just below my neck and put his arms around me. “Mmm this feels good,” he said after inhaling a breath, releasing it slowly.
“What does?”
“Being here with you. Out of all the days I’ve slept in this bed, it has never felt this good. It could only feel this incredible with you lying next to me.” Reggie kissed my back again. “I love you, Tiffany. Do you still love me?”
“What do you mean, still?”
“I mean, after everything that had gone down between us, I don’t know if you still—”
“Of course I still love you.”
“Okay. That’s all I needed to know. Goodnight, sweetheart.”
“Goodnight, Reggie.”
Chapter 18
Reggie dropped me off at my apartment in the morning after we had breakfast together. I indulged in some organizing and cleaning at my place. Seeing Reggie’s house in shambles gave me the motivation to spruce up my own place. I was in the middle of swiffering the kitchen floor when my Mom called me.
“Hey Tiffanyyy.” Anytime my Mom elongated my name like that, she was up to something.
“Hey Ma. What you up to?”
“Nothing. What are you up to?”
“Okay Ma…what’s going on?”
“I talked to Reggie today. As a matter of fact, he was just over here.”
“And?”
“And, he told me you spent the night at his new house.”
“Yeah I did, Mom, and nothing happened in case that’s your next question.”
“I’m just glad y’all talking again. That’s good enough for me.”
“What was Reggie doing over there anyway?”
“He was moving some boxes for me.”
“Wait a minute…what boxes?”
“You know those boxes of old dishes and clothes I had stacked up in the kitchen…”
“Nooooo!” I yelled, throwing away a soiled Swiffer cloth.
“Girl, what’s wrong with you.”
“Ma, I had my journals in one of those boxes! Please tell me it’s still there and safe.”
“I told Reggie to drop it off by your house, honey.”
“This can’t be happening. I feel dizzy. I feel dizzy. I’m gonna faint.”
“Tiffany, go sit down.” I sat down as my Mom suggested, but that didn’t calm me down any. Reggie had my journals, my personal thoughts and feelings for four years of my life – those crucial high school years. And if he read any of the passages in those journals, my life in denial of being in love with him was over.
I had been writing journals since I was in the ninth grade and my topic of discussion was always Reggie. I wrote things in there about Reggie that I wouldn’t let anyone read. They were for my eyes only. I needed to get all the feeling I had for him out on paper. Back then, Reggie wasn’t paying me any attention. But now it seemed like he saw me – not as the skinny little tom girl he grew up with, but as a woman with curves and responsibilities and mostly as his best friend.
I remember the first time I started writing about him. It was the moment I found out he had a girlfriend. Her name was Erica James. I will never forget her. She was light-skinned with long curly black hair and she had something I didn’t have in high school. Breasts. She was the most popular girl in our graduating class. All the guys were trying to holla at her. But the only boy she wanted was my Reggie. And I couldn’t be mad at Reggie for venturing out and dating girls. He was good-looking back then. Really good-looking. So you can only imagine how he looks now. Year after year, Reggie kept getting better and better. From his abs, to his toes, the man was perfect.
I didn’t want to call him and ask him to bring the box over by my place. That would heighten his curiosity and make him want to open it, if he hadn’t done so already. So I just waited for him to either call me or come by.
He never showed, and here it was ten o’clock at night. As a matter of fact, I hadn’t heard from him since breakfast that morning. Then my phone rang. I answered quickly.
“Hello.”
“Hey, Tiff.”
“Hey, Reggie. What’s up?”
“Nothing much. I’m just sitting outside on the deck staring into the ocean.”
“Sounds relaxing,” I told him and waited for him to respond. He was quiet for a minute – had me looking at my cell to make sure the call was still live.
“Not as relaxing as it was when you were here with me last night.”
I smiled and Reggie went on, “I love being with you. When I’m with you, I know everything is going to be okay and you know what else?”
“What?”
“When I’m with you, I know I’m with someone who loves me, uncondit
ionally.”
All I could think about was my journals. Had he been reading them? Was he sitting on the deck, reading my private thoughts?
“Can you come over?” he asked me. Normally, Reggie never asked me to come over. He was the one who volunteered to come by me. Now he wanted me to come by him because of his new oceanfront house.
“Ah…Reggie, I’m going to work tomorrow.”
“So you can’t come?”
“And I’m in bed already,” I said glancing at the clock. “And it’s already after ten.”
“You know I wouldn’t ask if I really didn’t want you to come over.”
I remained silent, trying to make up my mind whether or not I wanted to get up out of my comfortable bed to go spend time with Reggie.
“I really need you here, Tiffany,” he said.
“Okay Reggie. I’ll be there in a few minutes.”
“Ah’ight.”
I packed my favorite black business suit, a pair of shoes and drove to meet him at his house. I kept on my sleep gear. I was wearing a spaghetti strap, light blue camisole with the matching pants. I pulled up right beside Reggie’s truck then walked around to the front deck to where he was sitting.
“Hey Reg,” I said looking up at him.
“Didn’t take long for you to get over here?”
“No. Not at all.”
He was sitting there wearing only a pair of white boxers. Unlike last night, it was a muggy night at the beach. There was no wind stirring.
“I’ll take your bag,” he said walking down the stairs to meet me.
I handed Reggie my clothes and followed him into the house. “So I see you’ve unpacked more of your boxes.” I could actually see the fireplace this time without much effort. And while I was there, I kept my eyes open for my journals. I didn’t see my marked box in the living room. Maybe Reggie kept it in his car.
Reggie took my bag to his room and I followed him. I was ready to rest so I could be ready for another dreaded Monday morning.
I laid down on the bed while Reggie stood in the doorway watching me. “I’m gonna get some water. You want some?”
“No. I’m okay,” I told him while I laid there on his bed in his unorganized room. It felt unbelievably comfortable being here, and I’ve never been so uneasy around Reggie.
“I’ll be right back.”
